Beta Reader Group discussion

As the title suggests, I’m looking for feedback—both positive and critical—on the blurb for my dystopian romance novel. I truly appreciate your thoughts! Really, anything.

In a world drowned by endless rain, the Citadel is humanity’s last refuge—but for Grace Thorne, it’s a prison. Trapped in a loveless marriage to the Citadel’s powerful leader, Grace will do anything to protect her daughter, yet she craves more than survival. She finds that spark in the arms of her husband’s bodyguard and risks everything for a taste of passion. When their affair is exposed, Grace faces an impossible choice: escape with her lover into the flooded wilds and leave her daughter behind, or stay and watch him die. The storm outside is brutal, but Grace knows the true danger lies within the Citadel’s walls. With survival, love, and family on the line, her next move could reshape the future—or end it. The Ever Rain is a heart-pounding story of forbidden love, impossible choices, and one woman’s fight to reclaim her life. Can Grace stay afloat when everything is sinking?

Hi Carey, A few thoughts:
I like this! You've done a lot of great work in a short word-space.
**escape with her lover into the flooded wilds and leave her daughter behind, or stay and watch him die.** -- I don't quite follow why these are the two choices, i.e. it makes me ask: why does he die if she stays but not if she goes with him?
**With survival, love, and family on the line, her next move could reshape the future—or end it.** -- you're establishing some high stakes while adding suspense, making me wonder how her choice might end the future. It makes sense since she's married to the ruler. And I like it! But I could be wrong about what's causing this to be the case and it might help to add one more detail to hint at why these high stakes exist. i.e. does he have a volatile temper, like he's going to do something that destroys the future to get her back? Or does she hold some power that causes this? or? I don't think it has to be fully spelled out but maybe there's a way to add weight without losing the tight focus you've already established.
I'm not a fan of questions at the end of a blurb, (some people are though) Still, I liked it better ending with the stakes and cutting off the question. -- **Can Grace stay afloat when everything is sinking?**
If it's a marketing blurb like for on your sales page you might want to punch it up a little bit or add another line or two at the end offering trope grabbing keywords and comps that hint at the tone and heat level.
Anyway, I think you're a lot of the way there.

Hi Carey, Susan makes good points. I also wondered why Grace can't take her daughter with her. Also, I'd add more detail. Words like "brutal," "true danger," "reshape the future—or end it," and "heart-pounding" are perhaps more telling than showing. Give something concrete, make the readers conclude themselves that this is a heart-pounding story. The story sounds great, so I'm sure you'll think of something. Hope this helps! regards, Annika

Thank you! You feedback was very helpful.

Annika wrote: "Hi Carey, Susan makes good points. I also wondered why Grace can't take her daughter with her. Also, I'd add more detail. Words like "brutal," "true danger," "reshape the future—or end it," and "he..."

Thank you! Some good advice about showing I hadn't considered.

I've rewritten the description. What are your thoughts about the changes:

The rain never stopped. It swallowed cities, drowned nations, and reduced humanity to scattered islands of survival. The Citadel is one of the last strongholds. Outside its walls, people are drowning. Inside, it’s a prison—especially for Grace Thorne.

Married to the Citadel’s ruthless leader, Grace plays the role of dutiful wife and devoted mother, but she longs for more than mere survival. She finds it in the arms of her husband’s bodyguard, awakening a forbidden passion she thought long dead.

With new life stirring inside her, everything changes. Grace isn’t just enduring anymore—she’s planning an escape into the flooded wilds, and a future forged by her own will.

Set in a drowned world, The Ever Rain is a sweeping tale of passion, betrayal, and one woman’s fight to reclaim her freedom. As the waters rise and danger closes in, Grace must decide who she is, what she’s willing to risk—and whether the bonds of love can outlast the end of the world.

Fans of Silver Elite and Red Rising won’t want to miss this heart-pounding dystopian action drama.

Hi Carey, nice work! I like this second version. If there is one thing I'd change, it would be making Grace's options (what she must decide) more concrete, but I haven't read the book and can't say if it can be verbalized easily. In the first version, you gave a more concrete impossible choice for Grace, and it only raised questions. If it can be presented in a simpler way but yet making the reader understand what exactly the stakes are (e.g., Grace needs to decide between a life filled with passion and a home with her precious daughter), then it would be perfect, but not all plots can be summarised in such a sentence. Good luck!

Annika wrote: "Hi Carey, nice work! I like this second version. If there is one thing I'd change, it would be making Grace's options (what she must decide) more concrete, but I haven't read the book and can't say..."


Thank you for your feedback—it was very helpful. Her dilemma isn’t easy to sum up succinctly, so I decided to drop the impossible-choice scenario and take a different approach that I’ve read elsewhere: rather than trying to tell the story, focus on the main character’s current situation, her desires, the stakes—and most importantly, make sure she has agency.

I'm still tweaking it, but I think it's moving in the right direction.

This person is looking for feedback on a blurb. Your comment should not be here, Tori.

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