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Self-help > How do we manage to be visible?

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message 1: by DERYA (new)

DERYA KAYA | 7 comments While my field is psychology and I strive to make the human soul more visible, I’ve realized that visibility here often requires being popular first. Do you think having a large following is the first step to being seen?


message 2: by Benji (new)

Benji | 15 comments Well I think being seen comes down to when someone can see past your mask. To see that girl, who puts on a show to make everyone laugh. Yet when the lights go out and the curtain closes. That person comes out with a teary eye. For all the pain, sorrow, anger, grief dribbles out from one crack to the next.

Most who are popular aren't always seen. A lot of it comes down to shallow idealization. For what they have materialistically or achieved.
Yet that person beneath isn’t really seen, more of who they pretend to be…
To keep the herd following their alpha antics.

Yet if you're talking about material, creative expression, &/or athletic ability. Yeah it makes those highlights, that content more visible and wide spread. An outcast could have the same skill level but won’t be put on a pedestal, and paraded like someone with a large fan base.

Sometimes due to past judgment, or in fear the way others' perception of them would change if the world found out what they did to the outcast. So they would dim their shine at mostly every opportunity. Slander, plagiarize, gaslight. The full deck of unfortunate cards.


message 3: by DERYA (new)

DERYA KAYA | 7 comments Hi Benji, it's reflected in the deep meanings in his thoughts.

Frankly, I was struck by the presence and breadth of your thoughts about being seen, which you approached from many angles. Of course, every reader will receive deeper and more beautiful messages from this paragraph.

I would like to point out that our effort to be seen here wants to exhaust us. Yes, as you mentioned, the masks we wear in order to be seen prevent us from our lofty human feelings. The emotion of anger, which may seem frightening on the surface, actually holds a truly magnificent meaning as it signals that something in our lives isn’t going well.

I’m relatively new to this platform. Another thing I’d like to point out is that many people with large Instagram followings or media popularity only sell their books or have their songs listened to. Don’t get me wrong—I’m not saying my book should be bought—but perhaps the popular ones, as you mentioned, reap the rewards of their popularity even if they don’t really deserve it.

I want to reiterate that your thoughts are truly valuable. I’m grateful, Benji.


message 4: by Susan (new)

Susan Weimer | 5 comments How to be visible. Well, that depends on what you are asking.
Visible as a person? That's already been addressed, so I'll take as a writer.
As a writer, becoming visible is hard, very hard. Did you know there are over 8 million books on Amazon alone? How does one become visible with that kind of competition?
Invest in ProwritingAid premium and use its manuscript analysis to find out if your work needs anything to make it shine. After that
it's all about marketing.
Social media, hashtags, keywords, and anything else out there that can get you seen. Don't be afraid to spend a little money. Invest in learning marketing strategy. Make promotional shorts on Youtube with a blurb about what your book is about. Exciting scenes from your book. Post them to Instagram and TikTok.
Publish your work for Kindle and promote a massive giveaway.
Those are just some of the ideas.


message 5: by Spize (new)

Spize | 3 comments I agree to the point raised by Derya, having a massive following with little matter in the contents of the book really sells everywhere. For newbie it's a struggle just like any other profession.


message 6: by DERYA (new)

DERYA KAYA | 7 comments Susan, first of all, thank you for your kind heart. You truly empathized with me and offered solutions to the problems I was experiencing. Still, I often find myself torn between giving up and holding on, even when I try to follow your advice. Yes, it’s really hard.


message 7: by DERYA (new)

DERYA KAYA | 7 comments Spize wrote: "I agree to the point raised by Derya, having a massive following with little matter in the contents of the book really sells everywhere. For newbie it's a struggle just like any other profession."

Everything runs on algorithms, the system forgets you. Advertising... trying to be visible... thank you, Spize. I think we share the same fate.

Don't you get tired of trying to be visible in everything in life, sitting in the front row, competing, being strong?


message 8: by E.J (new)

E.J Gambles | 5 comments HECK YEAH,ITS TIRING


message 9: by Benji (new)

Benji | 15 comments I find joy in friendly competition.
It's an urge to push myself & remain disciplined.

I like sitting in the front row because it is less distracting.
Plus I liked it because when no one would raise their hand. The teacher would call on me. & I looked less of a show off, conversely still a brainiac.

Also, when I was younger I didn't care to wear glasses. So sitting in the front row was the only way I could see clearly.

If I don't exercise, & become weak, that would give the people who want to hurt me and those I care about an advantage. So No!

Its push, its drive. I've been plagiarized for 26/32 years of my life.
I enjoy the creativity of it, but honestly I’ve given up hope in actually getting credit for what I slaved over. If it happened to help someone in pain, well that was the main objective of my writing. So be it as it may…

Yet, my work has been seen not on the big scale of things. Mostly Locally. & yet oddly the people who steal it usually got the credit instead of me. I’m used to it after 26/32.


message 10: by Sibusiso (new)

Sibusiso Sambo (sibusisosambo) | 15 comments "How do we manage to be visible?"

In African philosophy, visibility is about being rooted in truth and embracing the power of community. It’s not just about being seen, but about standing in our authenticity and using our creativity to transform the world.

Through Ubuntu, we understand that "I am because we are." Our visibility comes from sharing our stories, lifting each other up, and building a future together. It’s in collaboration, resilience, and the strength we find in each other.

To truly be visible, we must speak with purpose, create with passion, and learn from the wisdom of our ancestors. When we rise together, we shine bright for the world to see.


message 11: by DERYA (new)

DERYA KAYA | 7 comments I sat in the front row a lot as a kid. Mostly out of love for the teacher. The middle and back rows are better; you don't miss out on life like you do in the front. You live it.


message 12: by Benji (new)

Benji | 15 comments DERYA wrote: "I sat in the front row a lot as a kid. Mostly out of love for the teacher. The middle and back rows are better; you don't miss out on life like you do in the front. You live it."

Yeah like distracting the other kids with funny face, & comedic comments. Giving the teacher a double~edged answer. Making the other kids laugh. . , Pretending to read the book, whilst you giggle and text on your phone. . .

I sat at the back of the class once & realised I couldn't read a word on the board... I tried to shape it out and all the kids laughed. The first word was "THE"... Echoes of the others kids laughter spiraled out the windows, & down the halls... "Damn hes stupid."

So I crept closer to the front to prove I wasn't dumb. & I came to school with the mindset to learn and not goof off. Conversely I still spun answers that was a combustion of nerd logic igniting rapturous chuckles & giggles.

Yet, I shouldn't assume. How was it better than sitting in the front?
Because the feel good vibes I brought to learning still live within me.


message 13: by Rita (new)

Rita Chapman | 566 comments For authors, being seen is a constant struggle. I host a different author each week on my website at http://www.ritaleechapman.com. If anyone is interested in a free, written interview, please contact me through the website.


message 14: by DERYA (new)

DERYA KAYA | 7 comments Benji wrote: "DERYA wrote: "I sat in the front row a lot as a kid. Mostly out of love for the teacher. The middle and back rows are better; you don't miss out on life like you do in the front. You live it."

Yea..."

Yes, it’s quite possible that as children we were often exposed to the laughter of others, and it’s perfectly natural for childish reactions—expected from human nature—to occur in class.

I prefer the middle rows. In the front, I see people struggling to excel, while in the back I notice my favorite friend drifting into other worlds, lost in texting.

This aspect of life is important. Being the most successful student doesn’t necessarily mean you will grow into a successful businesswoman or manage life’s many challenges. Someone who learns about competition too early may miss out on essential parts of life because of the illusion that winning is the ultimate priority—for instance, neglecting their children or loved ones.

The main point is that being successful in life is not just about achievements, but about living itself: being born as a social being and discovering who you truly are.


message 15: by Victor (new)

Victor Korda | 13 comments "at http://www.ritaleechapman.com" is great, just saying.
Thanks again for the interview, Rita.


message 16: by Benji (new)

Benji | 15 comments To me success is happiness. Not in material possessions but in being happy. . . Living life getting others to see the way. I enjoyed learning, especially history, & oh did I love getting other people to come to class with a smile.
So much so, I got other kids interested in the classes I attended based on my enthusiasm. Imagine people wanted to show up to class, just because they knew I would find a way to make them laugh… No, greyville dramatics!! I swear.

But there is a time & place for everything. Texting in class is so disrespectful to the teacher. & distracting to the absent minded kids in class, that's a part of why I always tried to make the answer correct whilst still landing a few laughs…
To get the attention back on the subject at hand. To learn what shouldn’t be forgotten.
I might have been nerdy, but I also liked to fight. I hanged with jocks, thee outcasts, musicians, pretty much anyone & everybody who came from a patched up past. Didn’t particularly fit in with jus’ one group.

I was outcasted by those who seemed to be unscarred, had it all, yet they thought they bore life's deepest scars. Odd reality. Those who have been hurt the most seem invisible, yet kind, whilst those who have only been scratched by lifes nails, get attention like they were the ones who survived hell.

But to each its own. The teacher one day made us rearrange our desk facing in, then I got stuck in the middle as well. Of the class not for being a star pupil or comedian. But where faith landed me..
Talkin to the left, talkin' to the right. Then I learned to embrace any spot God gave me in life. & that was the best spot to be. There in the moment, not lost in my past, or a forever changing future.

Please don't mind my long reply. I like to write as much as I do read!
Plus my brain seems to have so much to say. When it feels like it could help somebody, who was like me.


message 17: by DERYA (new)

DERYA KAYA | 7 comments I’ve written a lot too, so I’m sorry if I’ve bothered you.

Yes, as children, we were encouraged by our elders to be hardworking and well-behaved girls. And so I became one. But as I grew older, I noticed that those who spoke louder, who raised their voices when needed, were considered more respected. Thankfully, as I matured, I learned to adapt to my surroundings.

Happiness, of course, is not about an object or a material thing—it’s an extraordinary feeling.

The moment you find yourself not fitting into the group on the left or the right, sometimes not belonging anywhere at all—that transformation you experience is incredible. Whatever we choose to call it, it is about letting go of the sorrow of the past, releasing the anxiety of the future, and instead living today more calmly, meaningfully, and joyfully.

Yes, what you wrote is truly valuable for those who feel the same way as you do. Thank you.


message 18: by Benji (new)

Benji | 15 comments Glad we have come to an understanding. Yet, your not being bothersome. I'm just busy...


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