Fantasy Book Club discussion

For curiosity's sake - I promised to show which bits of this book stayed intact from the first editor's list of stuff that should have been cut or changed.

I bought back and resold the title to save its original form - for better or worse.

Should I have followed 'instructions'? What do you think:

SPOILERS FOLLOW

1) I was told to make the scene with the girl at the tavern (in the wereleopards adventure) 'more romantic' - let the character have a sweet little relationship with her - and take out the rebuff she receives due to his paranoid fear, that he has no means to protect a family. (I felt strongly that a facet of Korendir's character would have been undermined - that the true drivers for his behavior would not admit anyone close, at this point).

2) I was asked to put in more stuff with the dwarfs. Increase their stage play. (I could not see how this would have helped the focus of the story in any way)

3)!!!! I was asked to "cut out" the entire adventure where Korendir's wife, Ithariel, comes under threat, along with all of the White Circle enchanters. (I felt THIS was the major turning point in the story, actually - that even after creating a supposedly 'safe' fortress - Korendir still has to face his ultimate fear - the threat to his most dearly beloved. What would have broken him, prior, became a driver to hold him steady - that his love was great enough to prevail against all odds, all states of ignorance, all threats, against all the unknown. This sequence gave him the strength to accept himself - and so set the stage for the courage to face the Corrigon.)

Oh my! Thank you for standing strong. 'More stuff with dwarves.' They actually paid that person?

Good calls, all, Janny. Having read it a couple of times now, those changes would have made the book too generic.

If Korendir had "the little bit on the side" in the Wereleopards story, it would have been completely out of character. It would have rung completely false and gratuitous.

Cutting out the story with Ithariel would have eviscerated the book, and made it mere fluff.

Jim wrote: "Oh my! Thank you for standing strong. 'More stuff with dwarves.' They actually paid that person?"

Jim - they did - to be fair, that person and me just didn't work for this book. The match with Cycle of Fire was better. I should add that the original 'edit' letter asked for 200 - 250 pages to be removed from the book - shorten it for COST CUTTING reasons - to increase the profit margin. If the story needed to be cut for length to sharpen it, OK - but the actual take was the massive cut was just to reduce the publisher's risk. No need to go into the 'why' of that - the industry reasons had little or nothing to do with the story. I had to be comfortable with the story, first, since that is what my name stands for.

In the end I could not face putting out a title I felt I'd have to apologize for, FOREVER. The editor goes on their way - but I have to stand behind my own name.

Yes, the dwarf couple was 'fun' - they were there for much needed comic relief - that later turned more serious, yes, but I didn't even see where to put such a change - they'd have completely distracted from the main storyline, fun as they were on the page.

Clansman wrote: "Good calls, all, Janny. Having read it a couple of times now, those changes would have made the book too generic.

If Korendir had "the little bit on the side" in the Wereleopards story, it would ..."

Man, you said it far better than me! 'A little bit on the side' indeed. And the Ithariel story had to be there - I demanded to know! grin - 'what happens when this character FACES his worst fear - the original fear that drove him off the edge in the first place - to show the roundedness of the character's evolution demanded this - or, forever, I'd have felt I stepped back from the centerline punch that defined Korendir's most profound change, and his final triumph.

Well, I for one am glad that you stuck to your guns. Those changes would not have made this book better.

1. Romance with the tavern girl? Okay, I admit that while reading this I was hoping he'd go for her, and frustrated that he turned her down. But ultimately, this scene made his attraction to Ithariel so much more vivid and important. It also made the murder of the girl more tragic, because Korendir got blamed for his affair leading to her murder, and there was no affair. It's as if she was murdered for nothing. Much more effective.

2. The dwarves. I thought they were just fine. Too much more dwarf-play and I would have been bored with them. Snow White, been there, done that. It was good to see drarves in the story as they were, rather than a typical Bifur-bofur-bombur way.

3. The saving of Ithariel was one of the essential adventures, in my opinion. This was where Korendir did something for someone he loved, rather than doing something that was impossible for unselfish reasons.

Chris wrote: "Well, I for one am glad that you stuck to your guns. Those changes would not have made this book better.

1. Romance with the tavern girl? Okay, I admit that while reading this I was hoping he'd go..."

Chris I agree 100 percent with your views - it's nice to see most of you in agreement here - at the time of the editorial letter, those changes didn't just feel wrong, they felt out in left field crazy.

The dwarf scenes as they were showed STORY - took the saccharine sweetness off certain scenes, that, in a hard edged book, may have pushed too much sentiment. The bits of humor at those points helped to balance the shift into the last phase of Korendir's development - and set the stage by contrast for the very serious treatment of the other dwarf slaves in the mines - why Indlvarrn and Fhingold would risk all they had in the last adventure to free their people.

I thought the dwarves were a nice compliment to Haldeth as well. The gruff humor echoed some of the reader's frustration with Korendir with a lighter tone....

Excellent point, Chris. I also loved how the dwarves were the comic relief at first, but later on gained tremendous depth when their plight as a race took center stage.

Chris wrote: "I thought the dwarves were a nice compliment to Haldeth as well. The gruff humor echoed some of the reader's frustration with Korendir with a lighter tone...."

Chris - as per the editor's suggestion - if the dwarfs had appeared any earlier, ;0 - the hero probably would've skewered them...?

Stefan wrote: "Excellent point, Chris. I also loved how the dwarves were the comic relief at first, but later on gained tremendous depth when their plight as a race took center stage."

That's a trademark point - if something comes up (even as light humor, at first) I will invariably take it somewhere, later. Watch for it, if you try other books.

Bah! Humbug! I actually think the attention paid to the bottom line at the expense of quality will be what ends the publishing company if it ever does come to an end - which I fervently hope never happens, btw! ARGH! Obviously they never watched The Power of Myth with Joseph Campbell where he says 'Follow your bliss.' Over and over we hear stories that show that as the way to success.

None of the elements suggested should've been left out. They all contributed to the story in vast measure. No, no romantic interludes with the tavern maid. No, no more cute dwarfs than there were. They actually reminded me of Dakar - the fat spellbinder in Mistwraith. :D And the episode where the sorcerers lose their souls to the evil brother is a huge necessity to the story. It provides the key to many of the story threads... the fallibility of the wizards, for one. And, as Chris said, that finally Korendir is able to fight a battle for himself instead of altruistically for others. Glad you stuck to your guns, Ms. Wurts!

OMG, I can't really believe they asked you for point 3. I understand the dwarves give a little of comic relief (or comedy is probably what a stereotyped dwarf is meant to provide) and I wouldn't have minded more with them, but really, missing the threat for Ithariel would have twisted the flow of the story! It would have failed to show how, even with all the security levels of White Storm, a mortal can never ever be safe in the world, even an enchantress. And this would have forced you to make another ending, surely? As for Carralin, an involvement would have been extremely out of character (they wanted plain fanservice, probably? Nah!), I was sad for her, but I loved how you played it out, I was able to understand more of the hero -not made of ice after all- and emphasize with such resolve, wondering what kind of scar was making him act that way. I agree with the others, very glad you didn't give in, this book is precious and the intensity of it would have been dimmed by such changes, or by shortening it (actually, I didn't even notice it was long, so quick-paced the story is, and so full of events).