The FAYZ: The Gone Series discussion

Chapter 4
The second he disappears, so do I. Well I don’t disappear, I disappear from sight. A hand was grabbing my shoulder. Punch to the face. I groan. Punch to the face. I knew I couldn’t fight because I couldn’t see who was punching me. Smack to the face. Out cold.
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I wake up at Coates Academy, tied down to a chair. Jim next to me, tied up as well. Looking down on us is Drake Merwin, Satan’s reincarnation, holding a gun, and Caine Soren, completely unarmed yet not intimidated at all by the pistol in Drake’s hand.
“I must say, spectacular work, Bug. You have proved to me worthy. You are dismissed,” Caine says, with the same cunning smile as someone I know, but before I could think about who, out of nowhere comes a small, creepy little kid who must be able to appear and then disappear at will. Bug walks out of the small dark room with a giant tub of something being stirred by other Coates kids. “I will leave you with the subjects, Drake,” murmurs Caine, obviously upset about something.
“Well hello, lab rats. I see we’re alone. And thanks to the generosity of Caine, I am allowed to do whatever I want with you. You see, our little Bug was eavesdropping on your entire little conversation there. We know about your powers, and we’re going to conduct a little experiment on you two. Now if you would be so kind as to follow me over to the torture chamber, I would be so delighted,” spoke Drake with a wicked smile. I don’t know if it was the smile or the gun, but when he untied us, I sure as hell followed him.
“Jack, are we set?” asked the devil.
“I believe so, but I’m only an expert at technology, if even that, and I—“
“Well okay then, boys place your hands in this here cement tub.”
Most likely harnessing the courage that I’m in lack of, Jim stated “No.”
“I beg your pardon?” Drake asked, now very irritated and pointing his gun at Jim.
He lifted his palms and brilliant blue-white strands of electricity formed in his hands, the strands lapping over each other and moving, giving off a loud hum of power. “I said NO!” He pushes forward and shoots out strands of electricity, letting them fly directed at Drake. I see the water pumps that are being used in making the cement mixture. Stretching my arms towards them, closing my fists then pulling back, released a plethora of water. I throw the water at Drake, knocking him down and getting him soaked, which simply created more pain when Jims next wave of electricity came. Drake screams in agony. I just notice the other kids have set off some kind of alarm when Caine walks in, once again unarmed. Jim and I cease.
“What is going on!” bellows Caine, who’s in rage.
With some sort of telepathic agreement between Jim and I, we aim our palms towards Caine. He still shows no fear. I’m starting to get nervous when a smile creeps onto his face, a wicked, unnatural smile. He lifts his palms. Jim propels his electricity at him, and Caine ducks. A strange feeling of freedom comes over me when I realize that the only thing I’m free of is gravity. Caine’s keeping Jim and I suspended in air.
“You just had to put up a fight. All of you Perdido beach kids are the same. So proud. Yet so weak. It will bring me much pleasure to experiment on you.” My eyes follow his outstretched palms as he brings us down to the ground and forces our hands in the cement mixture. He kept us there for several minutes before I could feel the cement starting to stick to my hands.
“You see, as you must have noticed, kids up here seem to share this same so called ‘power’. It was Computer Jack who suggested that the power was controlled with your hands. So I decided to test his theory by starting up a collection of freaks whose power’s will be useless without the use of their hands.”
With every ounce of dignity I had left, I simply stated:
“You don’t know who you’re messing with.”

:-O Intense!

:P except im a little unmotivated when i realized that so many other people have done what im doing

Lol nah:) It's still awesome, don't be unmotivated >.< and lots of peeps do fan fics xD

but thats why its unmotivating. im not the first to think of it

so? it's still really good :))

thanks :) you read everything pretty quickly. it took me 5 hours and you read it in 15 minutes. i dont envy authors hahaha

hahaha, well. What has already been made can be improved! XD

good point. i have to go back and make the chapters longer and add description. im not good at description hahaha

lol :P
it takes a lot of practice, lol :P

hahahaha yess :) have you read the last chapter?

This is totally AWESOME..... basically I'm just repeating what i say every chapter. I love these. And it doesn't make a crap of a difference if you did it first if yours is better. Which this probably is. I love the suspense and the accuracy of your writing. Writing is one of the most difficult things to do for most people, and your handling it very well. Keep up the good work! :)

thank you. i put up chapter 5 and am going to go eat dinner now. but when i come back ill continue on 6! glad you appreciate my writing :)

I agree with Danyon. And plus, after awhile you'll probably go back to the chapters and change things around. i do that a lot with my writing and I think it helps lol