Terminalcoffee discussion

Sometimes I worry that people do not feel comfortable disagreeing with each other on TC.

I think it's really important that we are able to disagree on issues, and even disagree passionately, and understand that disagreement is part of the human condition that has the potential to push us to grow and learn. I hope we can disagree well, and politely, but when people are afraid to disagree, I worry that the interactions become inauthentic. So, go ahead, disagree. I just want to make that clear...I hope we can argue with each other well and come back the next day and still respect each other.

Of course, you're welcome to disagree with me...:)

Oh go get bent, RA.

Nicely stated, sir.

And you never have to worry about me disagreeing, and being respectful at the same time. Unless you're just a complete ass.

there are lots of things on TC that i don't necessarily agree with and i think i prob slink away from direct confrontation rather than full out disagreement mostly because i am on here for the interesting convo and fun and not conflict. i have no prob with disagreements though as long as they are done smartly and not just "oh yeah...YOU SUCK!"

Whatever, Kevin. You suck.

It's hard to have a serious disagreement with someone I picture wearing a fruit hat and a kilt...

He sucks at throwing trees, that's for sure. (As if I could do as well or better.)

i love you guys

I feel perfectly comfortable disagreeing "politely" with you guys. We're all intellegent people here. Even our ficus can hold an a conversation!

BunWat wrote: "I think keeping it light is how TC works. If things get too het up somebody makes a joke and we all agree to let it go. So yeah, maybe that means things stay a little bit on the surface sometimes..."

Aha! I disagree.:)

I like being able to discuss both light and serious matters, sometimes even in the same thread. But I see what you're saying, Buns, and I think something joking when things get tense works real well. But I like talking about substantial issues too...but I think we mix them up ok. Too much of either one would be, well, too much of either one:)

If I don't like what you have to say, I'll just hiss at you and draw fangs. Sometimes I resort to threats of violence. I never get to act on it, though. You guys are all too far away. If you were closer, I'd DEFINITELY give you melvins and bite you. :)

I'm more afraid of someone crying. Crying will make me feel guilty. I'm used to your fangs.

i disagree, you don't really disagree RA you just felt compelled to say that because of that is what this thread is about

You know, after I posted that, Buns, I thought, "we actually agree here..."

:)

Heh. Or you're going to stop traveling and I'm going to move to Florida and wrestle alligators.

RandomAnthony wrote: "I'm used to your fangs."


I have other creative threats of violence in my back pocket. You BEST NOT underestimate me.

>:F

Or misunderestimate her, either.

Larry wrote: "Or misunderestimate her, either."

>: /

TawNub!!!

I love you guys. :)

♥

::tear::

I seriously have no idea what you're talking about, barb....What makes you think you're on a shit list? I'm on my phone or I'd ask more...

Aw Barb. What? When?

Barb? Come back, Barb! Why're you going away, Barb?

Oh she didn't leave. Just went off for the evening.

I posted right behind you, Bun, that I've read snippets of The Princess Bride, and I liked it... but it wasn't directed at Barb as a poke or a stab at her. I was just responding to the subject of the book. I wouldn't think that would be what Barb's responding to, but I'm not Barb. I tend to be sensitive to other people's posts, though. And more specifically to the delay between responses.

The ridiculously long delays between posts at this time of day tend to make ME uncomfortable when I post something I think might be controversial or offensive (and usually I'm wrong or paranoid). I have to step away from TC altogether when that happens or else I start to obsess about it.

That happened once when I posted something to which Sally responded... and I interpreted her response as suggesting my post was insensitive... and I ended up staying at the office on a Friday night for like an extra hour or two, waiting to hear from Sally that it was all in my head. And then I didn't hear from her. Turns out she stepped away from the computer to make dinner. By the time she returned to the TC boards, we had just missed each other. She thought my posts were funny, too.

Anyway, ever since that incident, I try to step away from the computer when I find myself getting emotional about something I've posted or someone else has posted.

you silly people. princess bride wasn't a book, it was a m-o-v-i-e

Shit, I'd worry about you guys if you DIDN'T disagree with me.

Yeah, Clark, you've got me disagreeing with you, and I don't disagree with anyone! ;)

Jackie "the Librarian" wrote: "Yeah, Clark, you've got me disagreeing with you, and I don't disagree with anyone! ;)"

I disagree. But as my grandfather would often say, one can disagree without being disagreeable about it.

Excellent post, Heidi.

I'm glad you threw it out in the open, Barb. I'm notorious for not noticing these conflicts when they happen.

You know, I was thinking about what some people said yesterday, and one of the fascinating elements is that while we're often conversing as friends here, it's like we're having a conversation in which new people none of us know can enter at any time. And that's great, but at the same time not a conversational scenario to which we're used in real life. It's like we're at a sidewalk cafe, talking around a table on a summer night, and every now and then a passing pedestrian says "Hey, people, can I be part of this conversation, too? Please move over." And we all do, happily, and someone hands that person a transcript of previous commentary, and we all take turns talking.

Maybe the world would be a better place if that did happen at a sidewalk cafe.

Could someone get me an iced tea, please? The waiter keeps ignoring me.

i disagree about the iced tea. can i have a beer?

Or maybe it's more like we're waiting for the El... at TerminalCoffee's. :)

heidi's comment also made me think of texting in that sometimes i text people and if they do not immediately respond back i start thinking the worst. "did i make them mad" "did i say something wrong" "blah blah blah"

uh..kevin...maybe they have a real meat life outside the electronic world

Well, we're online...that's a big part of it, right? We can't hear each others' voices and read body language.

Ooh...maybe we should record our voices and post them just so people know what each other sound like. How do we do that?

Barb, there's no need to tiptoe around here. Trust me, some of us here at TC are complete schmucks that are undeserving of tiptoe status.

We're all good. Sometimes we skirmish - believe me, I've had my disagreements with just about everyone here - but there are never any bruised feelings. Be yourself, and don't be shy about expressing your feelings or opinions; that's all we ask anyone to do here, regardless of how others interpret the same.

Again, we're all good.

we do a We Are The World video where we all sing a part and then have someone put it together as one song.

When Gus says "Fuck you" to me, I smirk...I picture us sitting in a bar at 3AM and arguing and him saying "Fuck you" in the most friendly, bar argument way possible. Even when he's genuinely mad at me.

While Stephen rubs his shoulders.

:)

hahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

RA, you know when I say "fuck you" to you, I'm really saying, "fuck you, man, I love you, bro, let's do another shot of Maker's Mark!"

Seriously, cut it out with the Stephen references...I'm already paranoid as it is. Last thing I need is for him to show up at my front door on his wheelchair, bearing all kinds of creepy gifts. Yikes!

fair enough. done for me too

Barb wrote: "BunWat wrote: "Apparently Barb is upset that I disagreed with her about whether Princess Bride was a good book and did not want to have a debate about who was right since I don't think there is a ..."

Ahhh... well, it just dawned on me that some of this may be because of my response to "simmer down" - it wasn't personal, Barb - I would've responded that way to anyone who told me to simmer down. It just pushed my button... and clearly, I'd forgotten about it already.

Look, the deal with internet posts - we can't read sarcasm on here unless people post winks and even then, sometimes it just comes across as passive aggression. More times than not, I find myself having to ask, "Are they really serious?!!" and I try to give them the benefit of the doubt (although, simmer down didn't get that benefit... sorry 'bout that). I think the only time I really, REALLY get
paranoid is when people ask me about Twilight or Sookie stories... because I suspect they might be picking on me since I like to read that vampire trash. :)

The language we use leaves a lot to be desired. Few of us is articulate enough to transmit our thoughts without misinterpretation and confusion over intent.

As we develop our relationships with people, we come to trust that what they are saying is not intended as slight or criticism -- even if it appears as such.

Developing relationships in this medium is difficult at best. But we shouldn't give up just because it's hard. Or even because one of the people involved happens to be from Canada.

Oh, I shouldn't have put that last part in. :)

nice gollum ref bun

Miscommunication comes standard with the human condition.

BunWat wrote: "You gotta watch out for those Canadians, they're tricksy. Right, Pi?"

Tricksy, indeed. Especially the lawyers.

Barb wrote: "I've contacted a therapist, and will be undergoing weekly sessions until I can work my issues out."

It would probably help to get out of that glass box.

Be very careful in choosing the therapist that you allow in the box, Barb. Very careful, indeed. :)

I'm a proponent of everyone needing some therapy (good therapy) at times in their lives. In my experience, though, any therapist that doesn't give his/her patients homework to do is not a real therapist.

I just want to hug all of you.

Group hug, everyone, c'mon!

(Glad I put on deodorant this morning...)

let's talk about dan brown again so this warm fuzzy feeling goes away

Shut it, Kevin.

Like I said, I'm done hating Dan Brown. His loser novels aren't worth my contempt. My contempt costs money and time, neither which I'll give so freely...