Cafe Libri discussion

For discussions concerning July's book of the month Dear John by Nicholas Sparks.

The two websites that had "Dear John" discussion questions are located here: http://addins.waow.com/blogs/book/201... and here: http://bestsellers.about.com/od/bookc...

I've copied and pasted the plain text over as well. I hope it spurs some discussion in the group. I'll paste this message in the other versions of Cafe Libri too!

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From http://addins.waow.com/blogs/book/201...


‘Dear John’ Book Club/Discussion Questions

by Cami Mountain

Welcome back bloggers! As most of you know, I finished Dear John a few weeks ago but I’m itching to blog again so I figured I would go to the back of the book and answer the discussion questions. I welcome your answers as well!

Book Club/Discussion Questions

1. In the first sentence of the prologue, John asks: “What does it mean to truly love another?” How does John’s answer to this question change over the course of the novel? How would you answer this question?

I don’t know if his answer ever changes. John loved Savannah with his whole heart and was willing to do anything for her and that never changed. He loved her in a different way after she broke up with him but he was still willing to give her all he had and he proved that by selling his father’s coin collection to help her out.

I believe truly loving another means loving them through flaws, loving them for everything they are and never asking them to change themselves. Love is giving yourself wholly.

2. Savannah and John meet when John is on a furlough from the military and they fall deeply in love after only a few days. Is their love believable? Do you think it is possible to have such an intense connection with someone you’ve only just met?

This is such a hard question. I’m a firm believer in knowing that you can see yourself with a person right away. Do I believe that you can love someone in that amount of time? No, I don’t think so. Love comes with time after you really get to know a person. I think you can fall in lust quickly.

3. Trying to explain her interest in John’s dad’s coin collection, Savannah says, “The saddest people I’ve ever met in life are the ones who don’t care deeply about anything at all. Passion and satisfaction go hand in hand.” Do you agree with Savannah? Do you think John’s father is a satisfied man?

Yes, I agree wholeheartedly. I would be a sad woman if I didn’t have a passion for anything. That passion satisfies me as well. To me, I have a passion for my job which in turn makes me satisfied to know that I’ll stay in Wausau, WI as long as it takes.

4. Why does John get so angry when Savannah suggests what she does about his father and how, in the end, does this revelation change John’s life and his relationship with his father?

John becomes angry because he feels that Savannah judged his father and, in a way, she made John feel like his dad was stupid. I think she was trying to help, but it’s never easy hearing that a person you love has a disability or disorder.

It changes his relationship with his dad because he finally understood him. He gets why his father was never affectionate and why he wasn’t able to change his routine.

5. Savannah is described by both herself and Tim as being somewhat naïve. Do you think Savannah is naïve? Why or why not?

I think she is naive in the sense that she’s so sheltered.

6. When John goes back to Germany after his furlough, he and Savannah vow to stay in touch and to marry when he returns. Do you think it’s possible to stay in love with someone without seeing them for months or years at a time? How does being apart affect Savannah and John’s relationship?

I think you can love someone without seeing them for months or years at a time if you’ve fully bonded as a couple. John and Savannah didn’t have that time. They knew so little about one another when he had to go back to Germany. The distance affects them as a couple because they were able to grow apart. Their lives were not intertwined before he had to deploy again. If you’re married first, you’ve started a life. They didn’t.

7. John eagerly awaits his discharge from the military so he can begin a life with Savannah, but John also has a deep sense of duty and loyalty to his country and fellow soldiers. After September 11, John makes a decision that will change his life and Savannah’s life forever. Do you think John made the right decision? Does Savannah think he made the right decision? Given the outcome, do you think John regrets his decision?

A soldier’s decision to stay in the military or get out is theirs and theirs alone. I don’t want to answer that. I don’t think it’s my right.

I think Savannah knows deep down that it was John’s choice to make.

Does John regret the decision? That’s a tough one. He is incredibly loyal to his country but it also cost him his love. That’s a question I don’t think I have an answer for.

8. Do you think Savannah should have waited for John to come home or do you think it was understandable that she moved on with her life?

Goodness! All these tough questions. I think she could/should have waited. Soldiers are under so much pressure. To add relationship stress to that is crazy. She also didn’t give him a chance to even talk to her about her feelings. She kept her feelings for Tim bottled up until she was ready to break it off with John. Had she spoken to John about it he could have persuaded her to think about it more.

9. After fighting in the war in Iraq, John has a hard time telling people about his experience there. Instead, when asked what it was like, he responds with a harmless anecdote about the sand because doing so “kept the war at a safe distance” for other people. What does John mean by this? In what ways does the Iraq War change John and what are his feelings about his role in the war?

People, including myself, have no idea what it’s like for a soldier, especially one serving in war. Not going into gory detail keeps people “safer” in a sense. I know a lot of people often forget that we’re at war because it isn’t happening here. I think he also made a joke about it because it was easier for him not to have to relive the tragic events.

10. After John’s father dies, he goes to visit Savannah. How has their relationship changed at this point? Is Savannah different from who she was in the beginning of the novel? Do you think Savannah is still in love with John?

Of course she’s different. She’s older, a college graduate and married. She’s aged in more ways than number wise. Her husband is sick, she’s trying to keep her business aflot and she’s taking care of Alan. I think she’s more compassionate than he was in the beginning.

I do think Savannah is in love with John. She never stopped, just almost forgot about it because she didn’t see him for so long. That love reignites when she sees John again.

11. How do you think John views Tim, and how do his perceptions change by the end of the novel?

At first John views Tim as a threat, then as a friend he can trust. When John finds out Tim married Savannah, he viewed him as a thief, someone who stole what was his when he wasn’t there to protect it. In the end, I think John forgives Tim and feels sorry for him. I think he’s also thankful that someone was there for Savannah while he wasn’t able to.

12. What do you make of John’s actions at the very end of the novel? Would you have done what he did if you were in his position?

Selling his father’s coin collection to benefit someone else shows that he’s a true hero through and through. I think he still loves Savannah and wants her to be happy and that includes Tim being healthy.

Would I have done the same thing? (This sounds bad) I don’t think I’m that generous of a person. I wish I were that generous and unselfish. To say that I would do it without thinking twice is a bold statement to make.

13. How do you interpret the novel’s ending? How do you imagine John’s future?

I have high hopes for John. I want him to find someone but I think he’s hardened after war (both physical and emotional). Opening himself up to love might not come as easily as it did with Savannah.

OK. That’s what I think! I hope you’re enjoying ‘Dear John’ and hopefully you’re getting close to the end! You only have a few days left to finish before we pick a new read!

I welcome your comments!

Happy Reading,

Cami

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From here: http://bestsellers.about.com/od/bookc...

Dear John is trademark Nicholas Sparks--romantic, sappy, sad and redeeming. Use these book club discussion questions on Dear John, as a guide for discussing this love story about an army sergeant who falls in love shortly before 9/11.

Spoiler Warning: These book club discussion questions reveal important details about Dear John by Nicholas Sparks. Finish the book before reading on.

1. Did you think John and Savannah's love story was believable? Why or why not?

2. What do you think Savannah saw in John that made her fall for him?


3. Why do you think their relationship fell apart? Do you think John made the right decision when he reenlisted after 9/11?


4. How did Savannah's diagnosis of John's dad change how John related to his father? Do you think she did the right thing in telling John? Do you think he was justified in being angry with her?

5. Were you surprised to learn that Savannah had married Tim? Do you believe she truly loved him? How was her relationship with Tim different from her relationship with John?

6. Do you think John did the right thing in selling his father's coins?

7. Have you ever been in a relationship like John and Savannah's? Discuss (for whoever is comfortable).

8. Rate Dear John on a scale of 1 to 5.

Happy reading, members!

~Adrianna & Shelli~

This question was posted by CK in Yahoo Cafe Libri to spur some discussion on the topic of Nicholas Sparks:

Since Dear John is the selection for July, I thought I'd toss this question out:

Which are your favorite Nicholas Sparks books?

Potential spoilers for those not reading

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Ok...I see what some have mentioned about not being able to connect to the two main characters. Savannah is almost too goody-two shoes. She is so sickeningly nice and understanding...and sweet to a complete stranger she just met who has tattoos all over his arms? Plus, for a military man, John is too compliant. I didn't really get the rebellion years, which were glossed over in the beginning chapter, and I don't get what suddenly transformed him into an upstanding citizen after entering the military. Too many important details feel glossed over.

The best part if John's father, as others have mentioned. He reminds me of my dad, who also obsesses over coins. But unlike John's father, my dad talks a lot! I love that about my dad.

I find myself comparing Savannah to Mandy More's character in the film version of "A Walk to Remember," but I liked that girl more than this one.

Also, doesn't the movie version of "Dear John" have a girl with blonde hair in the leading roll? I get annoyed when Hollywood changes these types of details.

It is a quick read, so hopefully I will finish it by the end of this week...if I don't get bored, lol! I'm switching between this book and "Midaq Alley," which I find more realistic.

I still haven't finished Dear John, but I am making a lot of progress with it. I am a chapter or two into Part 2. The story is picking up for me.

As for tagging it on our shelf, I've labeled it as romance and fiction. Let me know if members have other tag suggestions. :)