Modern Mommies discussion

ok so
im a SAHM
and i respect working moms out there everywhere!

i stopped workin in late 07 when i found out i was pregnant
my Bf told me he wanted 2 be the provider even though he never was, i was kinda scared at 1st but i trusted him and was surprised/happy he wanted 2 step up so i said ok. He ended up steppin up BIG time he moved us out of his momZ wich was a HUGE surprise (he was a big mammas boy)lol.by 08 we came 2 AZ with NO money at allll stayed wit sum fam he got a job got us our 1st apt and it was great=] its been 2yrs and 2babys later now and its still that way! im so happy i get 2 stay home with my babygirls 2&1 but also im afraid=[ im afraid because really the only person they really see is me and im scared there not gonna know how 2 interact with other ppl or other kids there age! im mean ya they got cousins and they see them but its on occasions and when they do they do play with them but at the same time they keep there distance. the reason im sayin this is bcuz as much as I LOVE being here and happy his still supporting us i want 2 start working again i guess the Q that i wanna ask all u workin moms out there and everyone else is how do i do this im sooooooooo used 2 my everyday routine and im also afraid 2 tell him i wanna start working again because he really doesnt want me 2. but i see how he stresses out sometimes about bills and everything and i wanna help. i guess what i really want also atleast a lil of my independence back and 2 also be able 2 provide for our family as well!
i dont know i really need help on this im sooo
confused plz help me out!

btw this started as a comment for
the workin moms VS SAHM.x)

and ended up a Vent/Q pls help me lol=/

First, your babies are fine. At thier age, you and dad are the only people they need to see. If you are worried about socialization, find a SAHM group, take them to the pool and park, or put them in a Mother's Day Out program.
Second, think of what you will miss! I was a working mom while my hubby was a SAHD for the first 10 years of our children's lives. I missed tons! It was the right choice for us finincially (at the time), but I still remember how jealous I would get. I have been the SAHM for the past year now (to finish my degree and spend some time with my kids) and i love it! It is hard, I have to find time to spend with my friends and some days I just need to hide in the bedroom and let my husband take over when he gets home from work! LOL.

I guess the question is, do you really WANT to work? If you do, then go for it, but weigh your options first. Financially, does it make sense? How much is daycare and how much would you make after you paid for daycare? You also need to consider the toll on your relationship of you and hubby would be working opposite schedules.

You need to sit down with your husband and talk about your feelings and concerns. A good relationship doesn't stay good if you don't communicate. Good luck, I hope this helped.
Lansing

Sandy,
I am a working mom and my husband stays home with our kids. I know that I would never be able to stay home full time. If you really want to have a job to help out financially and for your own satisfaction perhaps consider a part time job on an opposite shift as your boyfriend. I wouldn't suggest a job that makes it so you never see him but one that, when you are working, he can take care of the girls. It is a great bonding experience for Dads when they are the sole caregiver and I highly recommend it. Good luck and keep us posted.

thank u so much
Lansing and Shea
this actually did help out a lot and
i will sit down and talk 2 him. Ya financially
we really do need extra money were kinda tight right
now=/ but i will think about it more
once again thanks so much i really needed advice
ill keep u guys posted 2 what happens=]

ya ive been thinking about looking for a group like that but ive been kinda nervous i really dont have friends out here and i really dont know how 2 get back out there lol
but i will once i get the courage=]

Lil . . . How did it go? how is it going? Just wanted to check on you.
Lansing

Hello Lancing thanks for checking up on me=]
everything is ok well as in i actually did talk to him. but the stuff that i found out was not good=[
i found out that were in debt =/ thankfully not that much in but enough to set us back a little bit. we talked about me working to put us back on track and making it work with his schedule and now its going to happen=:] but im gonna try and find a nightshift job that way i can still be with our babys during the day while his at work=] & for my babys im gonna start to go to the library where they have a story time for kids maddie and cories age=] im so excited i actually get to interact with other parents and they get to play with other kids there age its only for an hour and its only once a week but thats good still=] havent gone yet but i already went and checked it out its pretty cool=] i liked it alot=]
thanks again for all your advice it really did help=]

Glad to hear it Lil. My library also has Gymboree and craft times, so you may look into that as well. Good luck!
Lansing

Here's a question... can anyone recommend a good potty training book? What do you think is the best one for parents? And what boardbooks would you recommend for toddlers?
Thanks!

Suzi,
I don't have any recommendations on a potty training book since I haven't read one. "Everybody Poops" is kind of fun though. As for board books my boys favorites were:
One Hungry Monster
Barnyard Dance
I Love You Stinky Face (although the longer paper page version is better)
Hand, Hand, Fingers, Thumb
and they had a set of "click clack" books they also enjoyed. Hope this helps.

thanks! I've heard of "Everybody Poops" and completely forgot about that one... maybe we'll try it! So far, my son has really enjoyed "Elmo uses the Potty" (lol!) but I'm not sure how much it's helped him understand the concept of "using the potty".
I'm going to look into "Once Upon a Potty" too - thank you.
Here's another advice question for everyone... any good strategies to discourage biting? My son is about 22 months so it's hard to discipline him effectively when he's so young (and please note that I discipline my child, I do not punish him - suggestions of "bite him back" will not be useful!).