Axis Mundi X discussion

Ladies and Gentlemen, tomorrow afternoon is my vasectomy d-day. I have three kids and my wife and I have decided that after three kids we're done, thank you very much, and the easiest way to address this concern is to have my, uh, tubes tied (I think that's what they do).

I understand I'll be awake for the procedure. Perhaps I'll call my email with my cell phone and post a running commentary. I also understand I'm supposed to take it easy this weekend. I'm planning on reading and watching movies and baseball. The procedure will throw off my workout streak but I could use a break.

Anyway, I do have a few serious questions here as this is a birth control issue. Should birth control be free for all women? Should condoms be free for men? Some women seem to love the pill but others seem to worry about the physical effects. What about that? At what age should adults introduce minors to birth control? Should schools address birth control?

And does anyone have an ice pack I can borrow?

Interesting question - I went to a catholic school and birth control wasn't mentioned, we're told sex before marriage was a sin. As you can imagine, the numbers of pregnant teenagers at my school where high. In my year alone there was 5 girls pregnant by age 15.
Funnily enough, when I turned 16 my mum took me to the doctors and got my put on the pill - baring in mind at this point I hadn't even thought of sex. I was a proper child, I enjoyed my childhood and didn't want to grow up to fast, so being 16 adn discussing sex with my mum was the best opition for me.
Birth control is free over here - I don't pay for my pill and if you go to a family planning clinic you can get free condoms.

Poor you, I wouldn't want to be in your shoes.

You’re a braver man than I, RA. There are two procedures I will never have done. The one you just named (shudder), and lasik eye surgery. It just scares the crap out of me to have anyone near either of those areas with a scalpel or a laser.

To address the other question, I don’t see a reason why birth control should be free. And again, I think the less the government is involved in my life, the better. When it comes down to it, they wouldn’t be handing out quality stuff. They would be mass-producing cheap crap to save costs, so it wouldn’t be trustworthy anyhow.

I don't know Rusty, I've been on the pill since I was 16 and I've never been caught out. I got pregnant at 21 but I wasn't on the pill and the condom wasn't very effective. I missed carried at 10 weeks, which was pretty painful. There are that many different veriaties of pill and contraception that they don't have to mass produce. I've had an injection type birth control and 2 different types of pill.

I won't get lasik either, Rusty, despite the fact my wife had it and loves the results. The lasik doctors asked me if I wanted to watch the lasik laser procedure. What the fuck? Why would I want to watch?

My husband watched when I had lasik (which I love! They should pay me for always telling how great it is). He thought it was very cool, and he's sqeamish when it comes to touching the eye. We're planning v-day for him, too...I don't think I'll watch.

Good on you, RA. Scary but good. I'm hoping to get my boyfriend to do the same, as neither of us wants children, I can't tolerate the pill or any other hormonal form of birth control, and we're both sick of fooling around in, er, other ways. More definitive solutions for either of us would be welcome. Let us know how you fare...

I'm very much in two minds about the pill. I took it for ten years, and was depressed for ten years. Tests have indicated that this was no coincidence. I've since sworn off the pill, as have several of my friends, and we've all become much happier people. To be honest, I think all those hormones are awful. I'm sure not all women are negatively affected by them, but I'm equally sure a lot of women would be considerably less neurotic if they didn't take the pill.

Birth control is free in many European countries, and I like that. It's a good system.

And yes, schools should most definitely address birth control. They do it at many European schools, and it's one of the reasons, I think, why European teenage pregnancy rates are considerably lower than American ones.

It is a good system to have but it doesn't stop young, teenage girls here in Britian getting pregnant. Its stupid because you don't have to go to your doctor to get the pill or any other form of birth control, you can go to a local family planning centre and get it there - they even give out free condoms. I mean you must have to be lacking brain cells to have unprotected sex.

Martine, I've been fine on the pill, I gained a little bit of weight a couple of years back but I started dancing and got into cheerleading and the weight fell off. I agree with you that the pill does affect people differently.

Hayley, I know quite a few women who say the pill doesn't affect them at all, apart from a bit of weight gain. I'm definitely not saying the pill negatively affects ALL women. It wouldn't be such a hit if it did. However, I know a significant number of women who turned into depressed and/or neurotic wrecks while on the pill. Many, like myself, had no idea it was the pill that was causing them to be depressed; they thought their mood swings were part of who they were. And then they stopped taking the pill, and found they were much happier, much more balanced without it. I've heard enough stories like that to be on a bit of a crusade now. I think it would be good if more women were aware of the issue, even if there are millions of women out there for whom it isn't an issue. :-)

*gets off soapbox*

I've had friends who have been effective negatively with the pill, so know where your coming from. I've I didn't have to be on the pill I would come off it, it be my luck that I get pregnant lol

Most schools in Britain now have some form of birth control lessons but Catholic schools are terrible for ignoring it and saying no sex before marriage. I read some where England has the highest teen pregnancy rate in Western Europe.

Martine, I also had a bad reaction to the pill, those hormones made me soooo moody. (I figured that was how it was effective. No one wanted to be in the room with my moody ass, let alone touch it)

I hate hate hate the idea of the government being involved in handing out birth control... but in my mind that's better than paying for abortions.

I strongly believe birth control needs to be discussed. I don't think it's giving kids "permission". It's educating them. Here are options, here are side effects, here's what having a baby at a young age can do to you, here's how not having sex is 100%. Make your (educated) choice.
In my 10th grade class, during the sex-ed portion of Biology, my teacher pulled a condom all the way up to his elbow! Scared the hell out of me. I vowed to remain a virgin forever (or go lesbo).
10th grade was late for many of my peers who were already sexually active. Should schools be responsible to teach it??? In a way, yes, because there are parents who simply would die if they had to have this talk with the kids. (and, they may not have all the info to answer questions the teens have)

Good question, RA, and good luck tomorrow.
I think they burn the tubes, so scar tissue forms and blocks the way...

I think they burn the tubes, so scar tissue forms and blocks the way...

AHHHHH! Some things I'd rather not know. Is that information retaliation for the Brewers' hot streak?

Be lucky they are letting you get snipped. I have tried many times to get the bean bag sniped but they just wont do it. {Under 35 with no children} When did it become the doctor’s job to tell people they will be good parents or not?

I tried to explain that I would make a terrible parent, and so would my wife. Maybe I should print off a few threads from goodreads that properly displays my personality. I'm sure he/she would snip me right then and there... Wait back up; I don't want a woman doing it. There is just something about a woman that cuts balls off for a living that doesn't jive right with me.

hehe you funny Nick. I think you would make a great parent, a bit of an odd one but a great one.

Its a bit like male gynacologists, I'd much rather go see a female doctor than a male one.

I would decidedly NOT make a good parent. I have no patients for children. Kids are great… kids are great way over there:: pointing way off into the distance :: If I were to have kids they wouldn’t see outside of a closet or basement until they were 18. At that time they are out on their own. That’s no life to live. So I am responsible and decided not to have kids. It would be great if the Elitist medical staff would get off their high horse and help me out…

That's really interesting, Nick. They refuse? Is that legal?

They are making both my wife and I sign some piece of paper saying we're ok with it, etc. I was like...why does my wife have to sign it? She can go on the pill without asking my permission. How come she gets to tell me what to do with my testicles? It's my body, dammit. What happened to my rights?

:::ponders::: maybe your right after that little rant I don't think you should have kids lol

“Between tv and the internet, kids practically raise themselves”

- Homer Simpson

You’re a man; we have no rights in the reproductive department. We are expected to surrender our DNA, and then the lawn to children toys. Our only option is if we want to participate or not. If you choose the no participation route I hear Alfonso has a sock puppet named Rosy. Apparently she is pretty tore up. Tore up from the floor up. But you know she puts out so it’s all good.

I don't know if it is legal, but I have been to many a doctor and the answer is always the same.

But they won’t "tie" my wife’s "tubes" either so...

Ahhh Homer, A philosopher to the wise.

At the risk of sounding like an old fart, which I am but which I don't like to admit, I'll tell you that when I was a teen there was no pill, and if a girl got pregnant it was a gigantic scandal.

Tends to keep one on the old straight and narrow.

(Side note: The surgical procedure used for tying the Fallopian tubes was developed by my great uncle, and is called by his name, the Pomeroy Procedure. He came up with it in the early part of the 20th century because he was apalled by the women in NYC who lived in poverty, and had no reliable way to prevent having child after child after child.)

Aside from abstinence but lets be real, who is going to pass up sex right! I salute your Uncle.

I think what's different, Bunny, is the idea that some doctors seem willing to give birth control to women without checking with their husbands but won't perform vasectomies without the wife's permission. I know the question of permanance is there, but at the same time, it's still my body...and my wife's body is hers. Removing ears isn't a good analogy because it serves no purpose and there is no compelling personal reason to do so.

Be sure to bring your camera phone to the procedure, RA, and post the pictures of you getting snipped.

Heh. Gus, I would love my new avatar to be me giving the thumbs up from the operating table...

Well Donna, you have a point. But still year after year, one would think they would be able to find a sympathetic doc by now. It just ruffles my feathers that’s all, they will hand out oxycotten (sp?) like candy getting people hooked on that street legal heroin, but I can't be responsible and prevent a bad thing from happening. (Me having children)

If I were to do the same, I'd have a pic taken of me biting down on a pillow.

Oh they would need to knock me out of give up some zanax or something, But I still would like to do it.

have you considered just switching to soy milk?


http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/stor...

But I believe she can get an abortion without checking with me...and I respect that. I could be wrong, but I don't think I have to be informed. I also think a woman should be able to have her tubes tied as her own decision, too. I'm not sure your logic is holding up.

The dumbest thing about Nick's situation is that a vasectomy is reversible. So if, say, five years down the line he's mellowed quite a bit and he and his wife did decide they wanted a little Nick running around (heaven help us), it's not like they'd be out of options.

I guess I'm coming at this from an emotional point of view but I'm glad my husband can't decide on his own to go get snipped without telling me. Not that it would ever happen. My husband says he won't get snipped even when I want him to. I told him I wasn't going to be on the pill forever (and I'm allergic to condoms) so when we are done having kids he has two choices: get snipped or never have sex again.

Last time I checked a woman can get as much free birth control as she needs at Planned Parenthood clinics. You have to fill out a form and see a Nurse, but (back when I needed it in the 80s) it was free, or close enough to it. They also give out free condoms. As do many inner city clinics, like the Haight Ashbury Free Clinic. It's one of the things grass roots does really well. One of the things I continue to donate money to.

I also forgot to say...ladies...I'm sorry I will no longer be able to donate sperm for the good of mankind. Be strong. Be strong, ladies.

I'm guessing it's going to improve your sex life though. Free and clear, woo hoo! I bet your wife will be happy. ; )

I'm very happy that my health insurance does cover birth control pills, even though it doesn't have to legally.
I've been on the pill since I was 21. And yes, sometimes I suspect it contributes to some mild depression.
I take vitamin B-complex on the advice of the Planned Parenthood medical staff to fight off those blues. But I know I've never been truly depressed.

Thanks, Char...I'm hoping it improves my weekend. I'm going to sit on my ass all weekend...if my wife gives me a hard time (which she never does, she's quite nice...this is theoretical), I have the right to say, "someone used a scalpel on my testicles. Now get me some iced tea, please."

:)

yo Edith, get me a beer!

No, no, no. Although my dad did watch that show religiously growing up. What a wild show...

However, Archie did not have his testicles cut at any point in the show. Now THAT would have been a great episode.

RA's going to get tutored!

Well, RA – people all over the country have been talking about you junk all day. How do you feel about that?

Hm. Rusty...violated in the most courteous way possible?

:)

I brought it on myself. Can't complain.

I'll be thinking about you tomorrow, RA!

Uh, sending thoughts of a speedy and comfortable recovery, I mean.

RA's going to get tutored!

Better than getting mentored!*

Worse yet is waking up after the vasectomy, assuming you've opted for the gas, and seeing your doctor all sweaty and suddenly zipping up his pants.



* inside joke.

I thought you said seedy... But I have since corrected this.

You bastards. Stop freaking me out!

LMAO!!!! I take it back, men are not less cruel than women to their own kind.

Nothing wrong with pointing out the possible misfortunes... Like What if RA has a shady black market doctor and doesn't know it. Imagine that waking up finding not only an empty fleshy patch (where your testies used to be) but also blood seeping incisions where your kidneys used to be.

I can't help but think of the Seinfeld episode when all 3 boys went to get tied. Only Kramer went though it, of course Jerry and George chickened out!

Milk it for it's worth RA, be waited on for the whole weekend! But don't overdo it, or else you'll just become a typical whiny dude who takes off 2 weeks from work because of a cold. What's with you guys?

RA, one of my best friends had the procedure and he noted that there was very little pain involved. The part that hurt the most was the injection of the numbing agent into each ball, after that he was good to go. They snipped, he took the day off (even drove himself there and back) and was back to work the next day.

Have fun!

I will never be fixed! I have 13 kids already and will not stop! I will be the Genghis Khan of the modern age! Arise O army of Cyrils and smite mine enemies!


Good luck foolish man, RA! one less competitor in the gene pool!

If somehow you become the last man on Earth you will be less useful than a cucumber! HAHAHA!