Let's All Write STORIES!!! discussion

I'm just gonna start this

*A girl(Eliza) enters a crowded room in a panic*
Eliza:*shouts* Fire! There's a fire in the kitchen!

((introduce a character too!))

Character add: flora- a brave daring girl.

Flora: *gasps* how did it start?
Eliza: *exclaims and sputters a little* there's no time to explain!
*Flora dashes toward the kitchen with Eliza*

new character: nikki, a girl with a really bad case of OCD, prone to panic attacks.

Nikki: fire? here? now? but- I DONT WANT TO DIEEE!!
*falls down in a faint, and gets stepped on by Flora and Eliza*

*they run down the long hall. Flora steals a huge pot of soup.*

Eliza: I see more smoke!

*Flora and Eliza burst through and throw the soup over the fire.*

new character: Yasmin, Flora's older sister.

*Yasmin walks into the kichen and screams*

Yasmin: OH CRAP! WHAT DID YOU GUYS DO?

*she coughs and tries to wave away the smoke. the fire has subsided.*

Eliza: *laughs a laugh containing no real humor. sort of a chuckle i guess* surprise....! Hope you like cake! Er... burnt cake.....

*Flora giggles, then bends down and gently jabs the still passed out Nikki in the side. She comes to, and sits up, rubbing her head.*

Nikki:*groans*What happened?
Eliza:You passed out when you heard there was a fire. Would you like some water?
Nikki:Sure. Water sounds good.
Eliza:*turns to flora* Can you go get her water? I'll stay here to make sure she doesn't pass out again.
Flora:Sure
Yasmin:I'll stay too.
*Flora brings the water and conversation slowly returns to normal.*
Nikki:*suddenly* I don't feel so good. *runs for the bathroom, but faints again halfway there*
Eliza:Nikki? *shakes Nikki's sholders* Nikki? *turns to others* she's not waking up!

((hey guys! you don't have to follow this but I have two things in mind that could follow this scene. a)murder mystery or b)nikki has cholera, which can be spread through contaminated water))

(( yeah, or c) nikki's just a phycotic weirdo. good ideas though.))

Yasmin: OMG! what if she had a heart attack or something?
Flora: really? *bends over nikki* hmm.. are you sure? * pokes Nikki then checks for pulse* nope, she's alive!
Yasmin: thank god! *hugs eliza and starts crying*
Eliza: you're overreacting yas! hey, you're geting my shirt wet!
Flora: i'm calling 911, just to be safe

((I like the way you're formatting it so far.))

(( thnx! ))

*ambuance arrives and loads Nikki. flora, yasmin, and eliza stand there sadly*

paramedic guy: we need at least one of you to come.
Yasmin: we'll all come
Eliza: what! not that i don't like Nikki, but i want to watch Project Runway! *glares at Flora* your sister is evil!
Flora: your welcome!

Yasmin: Jeez, you guys! for all you know, Nikki's, like, dying or something!
Paramedic guy: Er, actually, we determined that she's not-
*scowl at paramedic guy* Yasmin: Shut up. you're not exactly helping my case here, dude. Guys, Nikki needs us. So come on!!!

((Interesting story. What's the plot line, exactly?))

((umm... there really isn't one!))

((Okay.))

((make it up as you go along!))

they all run off to join Nikki in the ambulance.

New girl: Violet, a curious and a little shy girl.

Violet:*opens door to kitchen* Hey, where'd everyone go?

*Violet sees mess*

Violet: great! they didn't even bother cleaning up. i'm not a maid!
*starts crying.*
(( new character: Zach, a caring guy.))
Zach: there, there.
Violet: um, who're you?

*at hospital*
Eliza: okay, its been 5 hours. if they dont say anything soon, i'm outta here.

Yasmine: but we can't leave without knowing whats wrong!

Flora: guys, just chill, im getting a headache

E.R. doc: hello

F,E, & Y: hi

E.R. doc: we have diagnosed your friend with exhaustion.

Yasmine: *gasps* is that bad?

E.R. doc: she'll be okay. anyway, she has had an attack before, and the cause was OCD. i reccomend therapy.

Flora: when will she be released?

E.R. doc: tommorow

Eliza: can i leave now?

E.R. doc: *confused* um, yes, i suppose, but don't you want to see how your friend is doing? she just woke up.
F&Y: *jumping up* YES!
Eliza: Er, do you guys think Nikki would ever forgive me if-
F: NO! now get in there! let's GO!
*Flora and Yasmin run excitedly into Nikkis room- Eliza follows behind slowly and unhappily*

* Nikki lying in hospital bed. F,Y, and E enter*

Nikki: hey
Flora: hey yourself. we were-
Yasmin: Nikki! i was so worried! I thought you were gonna die! *starts crying*
Eliza: stop crying! good to know you're gonna make it Nikki. i told them you were fine but would they listen. now i missed my fav-
Flora: *grabs Eliza* now, now i'm sure Nikki doesn't want to hear you moan
Yasmin: *sniffs* if you don't have anything nice to say, leave!
Eliza: okay!
Flora: Yas, you weren't supposed to give her permission. dont worry Nikki, we'll bring her with us tomorrow.
Nikki: okay, it was nice of you to wait for me. you didn't have to-
Flora: its fine! don't panic, just rest, and tommorow we'll get you a appointment with the best shrink we can find!

((WAAAAH!!!!! this group is dying, except for the run which is still goin strong, but i theres too much for me to try to jump in....))

(( um whoever created this topic isn't doing the right script format. My 7th grade communications taught us how to write a script the right way.

You're supposed to have the character's name in all caps.

You write what their saying regular.

For stage directions you write those in all caps with parentheses around them.

double space between characters

((ur so right, but since whoever it was started it this way we might as well keep the format, incorrect though it may be. really it should be like this:
JOE SHMOE:
Blah blah blah.

MARSHA
Blah blah blah.

(MARSHA walks over to JOE SHMOE and picks up the FRYING PAN. )

i took a filmmaking camp last year, and we did a course in screenwriting. i think thats right.... but whatever...))

((oops the lines were supposed to be centered))

yeah and you write like this for a script.

MARTHA: Hi people

JOE: Hello

(MARTHA WALKS OVER TO JOE HAPPILY AND HUGS HIM)

(( umm, thats great, but i doubt any of us would actually use this for a script, and it's also easier this way. just saying))

((true dat...))

Nikki: Please, guys, really, I don't need a shrink, kay?
Flora: Thats not what doc over here says. Don't worry, Nikki, we've got your back.
Yasmin: Um, or your head, or stomach, or whatever else happens to be ailing you at the time.
Nikki *smiles*: Thanks. Wow, I can't believe what a wimp I am.
Flora: You're not a wimp!
Yasmin: Of course not! See, that's where the shrink come in.
*Eliza walks in*
Eliza: Uh, guys? yeah, um, how do we get home? The doctors drove us here, remember? So... how can i get outta here?
Yasmin: Well..... my mom's picking us up in a half hour. So.... I guess you're stuck here with us!

((we may as well do it sort of right. I mean, having the character's names in caps might help))

MEANWHILE...

VIOLET: Wow! You lived in Uzbekistan? That's so cool!
ZACH: Yep. How about you?
VIOLET: Oh, nothing nearly as interesting as you. I mean, I like the color yellow and I brush my teeth twice a day.
ZACH: I'm sure that there's something interesting about you. Here, I'll even help you. What is your favorite part of the circus?
VIOLET:I've never been to the circus.
ZACH: We,, there's something interesting right there!