Memoirs on Adversity discussion

Many kinds of adversity lead to denial. Clearly, rape and child abuse are often denied by society and even by the survivor. The memoir Denial, by Jessica Stern, vividly illustrates both her hometown’s denial that she and her sister were raped and also her own shocking blockage of her memories. After Silence, by Nancy Venable Raine, details the process of social silencing and collective denial. Miss America by Day shows the denial of abuse writ large—Marilyn Van Derbur was America’s darling by day, while plagued by incest and fear by night. My own memoir, The River of Forgetting: A Memoir of Healing from Sexual Abuse, demonstrates the enduring power of denial, since I didn’t even recall the incidents until 50 years later.

But other kinds of adversity are also denied. War veterans struggle to be “manly” and deny the trauma they suffered. Alcoholics and their families (cf. The Liars’ Club, The Glass Castle) are expert at dodging and denying, calling it social drinking or not calling it anything. Mental health issues are hidden for years.

“The dizziness brought on by the denial of others is often worse than the original crime,” says Jessica Stern, and I agree. When my mother told me to forget about my father’s abuse, the basic reality of my senses was denied and I felt crazy. Uncovering and correcting that warping of truth was a large part of my recovery.

Do you have thoughts on this phenomenon? Books and stories that illustrate the power of denial, or that contradict?
Denial: A Memoir of TerrorAfter Silence: Rape & My Journey BackMiss America by DayThe River Of ForgettingThe Liars' Club