Yesterday, I was waiting for someone at the grocery store, so I picked up a well known woman's magazine from the rack because a tid-bit line made me wonder. I of course had to look at the so called article because I just *had* to find out just what I am not doing right in bed with my boyfriend. (Usually a good laugh or two.)
They polled over 2,000 men questions about sex,from foreplay to after, and asked them to rate from "You bettcha! We so need to do this!" to "Are you kidding me?" and somewhere in between. Some of the typical things are offering a 3 way with 2 women (Y!) vs. a 3 way with 2 other men (N!) There was one that really got me. It was voted a big NO to ask him for a lap dance.
My brain went a little in the lockjaw world on that one.
I think this is the problem with these types of magazines. They either make you paranoid about what you are not doing to please a partner, or make you paranoid about what you actually do with a partner.
Here's the deal. You want a good relationship and really good sex? Respect each other. Listen to each other, and unless your partners request to try something is truly harmful, physically difficult, or just plain against your moral compass, hear them out, give it a try once. You may just surprise yourself. Don't laugh at what your partner wants. If physical problems may not allow you to do exactly what they want, try to find a compromise. If something hurts, say so!
My general rule of thumb is don't ask for something you are not willing to do yourself.
Laugh in bed. Laugh at your selves. It's good for you. I know my partner and I laugh a lot, we get silly, and that is wonderful.
Try to be nice if something doesn't work, or if you truly don't want to do it again. Starting with the positives will help.
Being afraid is fine. Don't let it rule you. I know I had a hard time allowing my partner to see me naked for the first time. I still have my days when I am not too keen on it, but I know he loves me, and that is why I get over it.
And if you want a lap dance from your male partner, ask. You just may be surprised.
They polled over 2,000 men questions about sex,from foreplay to after, and asked them to rate from "You bettcha! We so need to do this!" to "Are you kidding me?" and somewhere in between. Some of the typical things are offering a 3 way with 2 women (Y!) vs. a 3 way with 2 other men (N!) There was one that really got me. It was voted a big NO to ask him for a lap dance.
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My brain went a little in the lockjaw world on that one.
I think this is the problem with these types of magazines. They either make you paranoid about what you are not doing to please a partner, or make you paranoid about what you actually do with a partner.
Here's the deal. You want a good relationship and really good sex? Respect each other. Listen to each other, and unless your partners request to try something is truly harmful, physically difficult, or just plain against your moral compass, hear them out, give it a try once. You may just surprise yourself. Don't laugh at what your partner wants. If physical problems may not allow you to do exactly what they want, try to find a compromise. If something hurts, say so!
My general rule of thumb is don't ask for something you are not willing to do yourself.
Laugh in bed. Laugh at your selves. It's good for you. I know my partner and I laugh a lot, we get silly, and that is wonderful.
Try to be nice if something doesn't work, or if you truly don't want to do it again. Starting with the positives will help.
Being afraid is fine. Don't let it rule you. I know I had a hard time allowing my partner to see me naked for the first time. I still have my days when I am not too keen on it, but I know he loves me, and that is why I get over it.
And if you want a lap dance from your male partner, ask. You just may be surprised.