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First & Third Person Mix
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Mark
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Oct 08, 2011 06:26PM

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The second time was because I couldn't switch the first person account to third... the character lost her intimacy and humor when I tried.


I like it because I get a better idea of what's going on when the story is away from Patrick Bowers, but I did think it was unusual.

Last night I read a long short story / short novella by Laurie R. King - Beekeeping for Beginners - which also uses the first person / third person technique, but much less effectively. It made the narrative choppy. I think that the problem was that the work is just too short to sustain the shift in narrative technique.
Kim wrote: "a long short story / short novella by Laurie R. King - Beekeeping for Beginners - " This one slipped under my radar... not very good you say, Kim?

Echoing Libby's comment (above), I use the combo in my mystery/thriller. The protag first-person for intimacy, and a bad guy third-person to give his character some complexity, and add an element of danger that the protag isn't aware of.


Sorry Hayes, your post slipped under my radar!
I picked up this one cheaply on Kindle and I'm glad I read it. As you're a Laurie R King fan and a Russell/Holmes completist, you should definitely read it. Both of the threads of the story are interesting. It starts with the meeting between Russell and Holmes from Holmes' perspective and goes on to describe an incident in the timeline of The Beekeeper's Apprentice which Russell knew nothing about. So the narrative is worthwhile, it's the structure which is not entirely successful. Well, I don't think so, anyway. Many will disagree!


However, I have seen other attempts that haven't been as successful. Robert Crais has conducted such experiments, such as in "The Forgotten Man." But the technique committed what I regard as the cardinal sin in fiction: It called too much attention to itself. In Chapter 16, for example, there is a jarring shift from first-person present tense to an extended, italicized 3rd-person flashback.
To my mind, if a technique jolts the reader out of the spell of the fantasy, reminding him that he's sitting in a chair reading somebody's story, it's the wrong technique. The constant distractions of shifting first-to-third POVs can break the spell. I think it's best to avoid, but if used, to write an entire chapter from a single POV choice, as DeMille did -- not jump around within a chapter, as Crais did.

As one reviewer put it, "For all that, much of the story the protagonist was strapped down to a gurney and being interrogated under drugs, the pace was unrelenting, which seems pretty unlikely but that is how it read."
So, the story bounces between 1st person (the protagonist strapped to the gurney) and 3rd person.
You can read the first chapter for free here: http://thetheoryofgames.com/ and see how it works for yourself.
The Theory of Games

The customer is always right!


If you mean third person indirect (the technical term), that mode which admits interiority into simple third person, I have difficulty believing this. It's the overwhelmingly dominant voice of modern literature since James, Conrad, and Ford. It was first used consistently by Jane Austen. I must misunderstand you.
As for mixing first and third I've never heard an injunction against this, nor in writing programs, in which I go back 44 years. Again, I must misunderstand.
I would really like to know what is objected to here. A necessarily long quote would not be possible in this medium. Unfortunately I haven't read the books cited. Perhaps another, or I could go to a bookstore or the library if you would point out a problem.
I'm sure it can be/has been done successfully, but I've never read a book in which mixing first and third-close worked particularly well. It always seems either clumsy or show-offy to me (or both)--and never really necessary to the story. It's like the author's saying, "Hey, look at me! I'm playing with POV!"

Yes, probably. When it would be required for the story would be when one of the characters has some essential information which the reader needs but which is denied the other characters. It ought to lie within the skill of the author to do this subtly, and with the nonchalance that conveys the the feeling that the shift of POV is necessary. The reader has to trust that she is in good hands and will be treated by the author with respect.
Still, there usually other solutions. Modify the plot to reduce the necessity, or find another way of getting the information out there. But so often it is some kluge solution of inventing a confidante, even more clunky than shifting POV. Of course, we need to exempt testimony from this.
One area where I would definitely condone it is where where the reader needs to be privy to several characters' emotional responses -- something impressionistic, not just a character reporting "I felt sad". These would not be one-off shifts but a cycling through -- a thoroughgoing narrative practice.
Still, for myself I would prefer to do it all in third-person indirect, moving among the major characters as required. Much less raw.

Compare Jackson Brodie to Easy Rawlins. Both are feeling their way. They bumble. But Easy is in charge. We never leave his consciousness. We see Jackson from outside. We do know things he doesn't. But this is important to the story. Jackson is a small, humble, beset man who nevertheless wins through and achieves a kind of heroism which we would never feel for, say, Inspector Lynley and his totally extraneous difficulties with his wife.
You-all have persuaded me to take another look at Masie Dobbs, On the first page of Birds Of a Feather a news vendor gives a description of Masie and is disabused of his assumption that she is old money. On the next page we are in Masie's consciousness and never leave it. The news vendor is a version of the tired old device of giving us a description of a character by having her look in the mirror. Having served this purpose, the newsie is heard from no more. I call this a clumsy shift in POV and rightly objectionable.








James Lee Burke uses first- and third-person in his Robicheaux series. He's a master at it. The interesting part of his technique is that Dave is still the narrator in the third-person sections. He just doesn't use "I" and is a bit more omniscient. I think it's brilliant and gives a deeper insight into the characters whose stories are being told, away from Dave's POV.

My second novel is more of a suspense rather than a play-fair mystery. The continuing protagonist is still first person. The other POV characters are in third person. They do provide information to the reader that the protagonist does not (yet) have as well as providing multiple perspectives on the same events. Further, some POV characters may be more or less reliable than others.
Neither the publisher nor the editor considered this approach a sign of sloppy or weak writing - and there is no dirt worshiping going on that I am aware of.
For me, the question is whether the way the story is told pulls me from the story. If so, then the technique is flawed; if not, then what's the issue?
~ Jim

"Sloppy" and "weak" are two words I would not associate with Mr. Burke. We all have clay feet, but perception from knowledge is valuable; perception from dogma, not so much.


Yes, I think you're correct. The bottom line is that if it works, it works and if it doesn't, it doesn't. The reader makes that ultimate choice. It is subjective by definition. As both a writer and reader, the craft brings joy to me. If I am happy with the craft of it and it doesn't work for a reader, I'm okay with that. Moving back and forth between first and third is interesting and challenging. At the end of the day, that's worth its weight in ivory towers.

I most heartily agree, good sir. Damn the torpedos!



I think that's a good path to follow. In my current project, I'm keeping the third person in individual chapters. It's allowing me to develop character away from my protagonist's point of view.


Eduardo Suastegui
Story-telling that captures the heart.

Interior monologues often appear in italics :)


Interesting comment, Owen. Ruth Rendell's psychological mysteries often take us deeply into the antagonist's point of view - although she may or may not use the 'first person' device it doesn't matter... we know her villains just as well as we know her heroes.
HI - I just found this group - I'm working on my first novel and really stuck on what POV I want to use. It's important to me that people really get inside my main character's head, but there are things going on outside her purview that the reader needs to know about. I very much want to use both - and as one commenter above mentioned, I am keeping one POV per chapter.
What other things do you all think makes it work or not work? One of the things I'm struggling with now is the first chapter with 3rd person POV - it feels a little stilted when I start reading that chapter...
I'm thinking about just not worrying about it until I've finished the first draft completely, then making a decision as to what I want to do - 1st, 3rd, or both.
Any suggestions/comments?
What other things do you all think makes it work or not work? One of the things I'm struggling with now is the first chapter with 3rd person POV - it feels a little stilted when I start reading that chapter...
I'm thinking about just not worrying about it until I've finished the first draft completely, then making a decision as to what I want to do - 1st, 3rd, or both.
Any suggestions/comments?
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