Young Adult Book Reading Challenges discussion

I'm so glad that Norah was ultimately able to let go with Nick, but I was often disturbed by her use of the term "frigid." I don't think any woman — much less a teenager! — should think of herself in this way. When she said, "Frigid was a choice rather than a truth," I think I was supposed to feel good, but instead I just felt sad. It's like something eerily out of a bygone era. What do you make of all that?

I thought of myself that way! I don't now. I met and married the Nick to my Norah.

Childhood or adolescent abuse of any kind, in any era, can have varying effects on how a person views intimacy. They may want nothing to do with it, or want it but not know how to deal with it, or without wanting it are able to participate in acts of intimacy with another person because the act holds no emotional significance for them anymore. They disconnect from sex the way I do when I brush my teeth--your mind goes elsewhere, wandering until your two minutes are over and it's time to rinse.

Then there are some of us who are lucky enough to survive--to be able to overcome psychological hangups with physical intimacy *somehow*. I can't pretend to be an expert on it, but I have experienced it. And yes, it is very sad. Not all of us make it out ok and go on to have stable relationships or marriages. Some extreme cases become abusers themselves, and I think that's the saddest because that makes it seem like an unstoppable vicious cycle.