The Not-So Austen Bookclub discussion

This game's objective is to come up with as many was as possible to get rid or/kill/maim/trick/annoy/belittle/get revenge on the rather annoying fey lady Ariella (otherwise known as Ash's nasty ex-girlfriend).

So the three courts are in charge of the getting rid of /killing/maiming/tricking/annoying/belittling/get revenge on Ariella. Pick a court (Seelie, Unseelie, Iron or Leanansidhe's) and a character and let the rest of us know what YOU would do!

Mine:

Leanansidhe: Hmm...well, darling, after all the trouble you've caused for Meghan (and I don't like trouble - makes me late for things like rather important manicures), I will have to turn you into a horse. Dragons eat horses! So next time you meet a dragon, you won't be so lucky!

- Iron
**Ironhorse: HOW DARE YOU RETURNING FROM THE DEAD AND CAUSING PAIN TO MY BELOVED QUEEN BY CONFUSING HER TRUE LOVE'S FEELINGS?? I SHALL GLADLY SEE YOU RUN FOR 40 DAYS AND 40 NIGHTS IN FRONT OF MY FLAMES!! AND THEN I SHALL SEE YOU BANISHED TO THE WYLDWOOD, WHERE YOU WILL NO LONGER DISTURB THE PEACE OF THE REALM! EVERYTHING FOR THE NOBLE QUEEN'S WELL-BEING! THE FIRST LIEUTENANT HAS SPOKEN!

Lucy wrote: "- Iron
**Ironhorse: HOW DARE YOU RETURNING FROM THE DEAD AND CAUSING PAIN TO MY BELOVED QUEEN BY CONFUSING HER TRUE LOVE'S FEELINGS?? I SHALL GLADLY SEE YOU RUN FOR 40 DAYS AND 40 NIGHTS IN FRONT O..."

Leanansidhe: *laughs* Ironhorse, darling, you are too soft! The little bug deserves to be banished to somewhere far worse than the wyldwood. The only downside to that dump, is the lack of Internet connection. *sighs and taps a perfectly manicured nail against her cheek* Hmm...*snaps her fingers* Perhaps I shall take those flames of yours, Ironhorse - except this time they are eternal! I shall create a portal into a world of flames where Ariella shall suffer for all eternity. Oh, with a large LG TV screen where she shall watch "The Best Moments of Meghan and Ash" a movie I produced myself!

Booknut wrote: "Lucy wrote: "- Iron
**Ironhorse: HOW DARE YOU RETURNING FROM THE DEAD AND CAUSING PAIN TO MY BELOVED QUEEN BY CONFUSING HER TRUE LOVE'S FEELINGS?? I SHALL GLADLY SEE YOU RUN FOR 40 DAYS AND 40 NIG..."

*literally rotflol* you guys are so hilarious and creative!

Grimalkin: As an outside observer, this is rather ... interesting I would say.

Becca wrote: "Grimalkin: As an outside observer, this is rather ... interesting I would say."

Leanansidhe: Grimsy, you are hardly an outsider - why, you're practically part of our wacked little "we're all in this together" family!! *smirks* I know you cats hate...conflict...but I dare say you have an opinion. *laughs musically* You always do!

Grimalkin: (*disappears*)

Leanansidhe: *lip twitches in annoyance* CAT! You are lucky I just came back from the spa today, otherwise I would not hesitate to claw your eyes out. *inspects her nails* But you are too pretty, aren't you darlings? *she coos*
Well, Ariella. *she takes a seat on her throne* It seems like Ironhorse is the only one here punishing you. So the flames it shall be, with the flatscreen TV, until another comes along to punish thee (and yes, I am aware that rhymes. I AM the Dark Muse, after all!)

Ironhorse - *snorts* THIS IS VERY UNNECESSARY! I SHALL NOT REMAIN HERE TO SEE FOOLISH FIGHTS!! MEGHAN CHASE, MY BELOVED IRON QUEEN HAS TO BE PROTECTED AND AS FIRST LIEUTENANT THAT SHALL BE MY CONSTANT MISSION UNTIL THE DAY OF MY DEPARTURE!!
I SHALL SEE TO THE DESTRUCTION OF THAT ARIELLA WORM MYSELF!!
I SHALL SEND HER TO ATEND ONE OF QUEEN TITANIA'S PARTIES. I HOPE SHE'LL FIND THEM VERY...INSTRUCTIONAL!!

Leanansidhe: *pouts* But Ironhorsy, darling, Titania is such a DRAG...do we really have to involve her? *sighs* Perhaps we could ask Titania a favour THIS once - may Titania turn her into a hart!

Ironhorse - THIS IS WAR!! IN WAR, OUR ENEMIES' ENEMIES ARE OUR FRIENDS!! UNITED WE SHALL SUCCEED!! I SHALL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO TEACH THAT LEECH THAT ONE SHOULD NOT MESS WITH THE IRON QUEEN!!
MAYBE WE SHOULD CALL GOODFELLOW SO THAT HE COULD MAKE ARIELLA REMEMBER HER INCREDIBLY PAINFUL DEATH OVER AN DOVER AGAIN!! SHE WILL WISH SHE HAD NEVER COME BACK FROM THE DEAD!!

Leanansidhe: *frowns at Ironhorse* Are you telling me how to do my job, darling? Revenge is what I do best; it is my forte! *snaps fingers and a messenger appears* I'll have Goodfellow here by sundown...until then, I plan to spend the hours listening to Ariella writhing in pain whilst I watch Friends reruns.

I have no room in my heart for bitterness or jealousy or resentment etc.

"“Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity or registering wrongs.” ― Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre


Remember that revenge is bittersweet...