Defending Jacob discussion

I thoroughly enjoyed this book. I kept finding myself wondering if I would be just like Andy if I were ever in his position. What a tough situation! Was Jacob guilty or just in the wrong place at the wrong time - twice? I am curious to see how others felt about this book.

I loved it. I kept hoping it would end differently but I'm afraid it ended sadly.

Really good read. It his so many points on the emotional radar. There is no way to predict which way would jump if in that situation. With the trouble that I actually had with my child I would say that I would be more like Andy. But there were things that Laurie felt and did that ring a bell with me too. I tend to avoid unpleasantness and urge people with problems to just get over it. I obviously have a real sensitive side!

I agree with you Lori. I found myself torn between the feelings of each parent. I think I would probably close my eyes and forge ahead as Andy did.

As a parent, it would be hard to say who I'd be more like. While reading the book about a kid who is not mine, I was screaming at Andy in my head to wake up and see his child was messed up. I felt Laurie was very real - she at least acknowledged that Jacob had major issues and was willing to entertain the idea of guilt and yet still love and support her son. I thought Andy was completely blind toward his son's problems. Yet, maybe if I faced the same issues with my child, I'd be like Andy, unwilling to believe the worst of my child. Hard to say what I would hypothetically do. I did believe Jacob was guilty though.

Thought it was a very good book! I started feeling like Jacob was truly flawed, though, the closer I came to the end of the book. I was left with the impression that he did it. He seemed cruel, something his parents overlooked because of their blind, parental love.

Honestly, I felt there was something wrong with Jacob and I found myself getting mad at the mother for pointing it out! Then I was getting mad at myself for getting mad at her. If Andy had just paid attention, or actually both of them, they could've helped their son and maybe nothing would ever have happened. I think I'm a good mother, but I do tend to get very defensive of my daughter - especially if somebody points out something I notice. I know her flaws but I don't want anybody else pointing them out! I'm working on that. This book really made me think, though.

I also know that Andy had his issues because of his family so I really think he was in a very huge state of denial over his son. There was so much going on in this novel that I did not expect!

I thought Jacob was a sociopath. I felt sympathy for both parents and felt the dad was in denial (who could blame him). Great book.

Excellent book! Loved it! The great thing about it is that you are not really sure if Jacob is guilty, and even if he is, you can almost sympathize with him because he was bullied by Ben Rifkin. But when the girl disappeared, my heart stopped, and I knew he did it. And he had a serious problem. And Laurie knew it too, which is why she was trying to protect him until the very end. She probably figured that he wouldn't have a happy life in prison and she obviously couldn't live without her son. She never intended to live. I honestly cannot say what I would do if I were in Jacob's parents' situation.

I love a book that gets you to think like that. I do wonder if they could have helped him if the father had been honest with his wife about his own background. Was Jacob's condition treatable?

Guilty. I'm not a parent so to say what I might do is not reliable. I think it would be a very had thing to believe your child is a sociopathic murderer. I am trying to convince myself that I would want justice.

I wanted Jacob to be innocent but I would change my mind about his guilt or innocence throughout the book, which is one of the reasons I loved it.

Once the girl at the beach disappeared, my mind was set - he was guilty. Could I have done what Laurie did? I don't think so. As much as I love my children, if they INTENTIONALLY took the life of someone else, they would need to be punished and put in jail The way I see it, if they are capable of something like that, they are not the person I thought they were. I would be devistated but the parents of the person they killed would be even more so.

Lynn wrote: "I wanted Jacob to be innocent but I would change my mind about his guilt or innocence throughout the book, which is one of the reasons I loved it.

Once the girl at the beach disappeared, my mi..."

I wondered if maybe Laurie's choice was twofold: not wanting him to sit in jail but also not wanting to risk that he would one day get out of jail and do it again? (hope that made sense)

I loved the writing, and I thought the first-person voice was really well done. But the plot fell apart for me after the child molester was found hanged. That was suspect from the word go. And I was completely baffled by the fact that the parents did not pursue the therapist's recommendation that Jacob get some treatment for the personality disorders she diagnosed. I guess if he had sought treatment, the case around the disappearing girl would have been less ambiguous. But nothing seemed to quite fit together after the "nol pros" of the first case. It does seem like the odds that Jacob had something to do with the girl's disappearance were pretty good. I guess the lesson is that "forewarned is forearmed," and if the dad had let his wife and son know about the family history, they could have been as vigilant as he was to guard against manifestations of the family "curse."

I agree with most of this except that the plot did not fall apart for me. It's just so sad that this boy could not be saved because the father was too busy hiding the truth from his family.

I found this book intriguing, the parents sympathetic and Jacob guilty. I doubt treatment would have helped him, he'd have needed to feel something first. While Andy reacted in a very protective way, Laurie seemed to face reality. What she did was an act of love for her son. And possibly a way to save herself?

Carol wrote: "I found this book intriguing, the parents sympathetic and Jacob guilty. I doubt treatment would have helped him, he'd have needed to feel something first. While Andy reacted in a very protective ..."

I do not think Laurie was planning to live when she decided to do what she did. I think that treatment could have helped Jacob, but yes he was very insensitive/desensitized not sure how to really describe his lack of feeling or empathy. Also, a full history of the family would have been necessary, but I also do not blame Andy for not disclosing information about his father or grandfather. I am not sure I would like the entire world knowing my business.

Well, I think the heredity angle is a load of crap. As one reviewer noted, if there really was a "murder" gene, why didn't Andy manifest? Are we to believe it skipped a generation? I do believe that Jacob was guilty...no question.
Then say for a moment that we can suspend this disbelief...what sane mother would kill her son and herself. I do believe Laurie was sane and I do believe she intended to kill Jacob and herself. I'd rather see my sons locked up than dead. There is always hope that with treatment, a person can have a better life. But dead is pretty final.
Even though I had problems with the premises, I still thought the book was well written.

I don't believe in the "murder" gene either but could not put it down and was shocked with the ending kept me wondering till the end

It's not so much a murder gene. It's being a sociopath "gene". I think that is possible.

I, too, think it was more of a "sociopath gene." I do not have children and I have to admit that this book affected how I feel about having kids. Even if there is no family history of a personality disorder, I cannot stop thinking "what if" you had a child like Jacob and there was nothing you could do to prevent his or her cruelty? Any book that leaves us with questions, such as this, and the other comments posted here is a wonderful book. Especially in a time when everyone is reading a book like 50 Shades of Grey. (yes, I did read that, but really? bestseller? ugh.)

I must be out of the loop as never herd of Shades of Grey and have a feel it is not something I want to read.
Unfortunately we have many troubled adults and children in this world today and some things cannot be prevented but I do think they should of taken Jacob for some help as his father had much more knowledge on this type people.
But the ending was still shocking to me.

There is no proof of a murder gene but there is plenty of evidence that mental illness has physical roots. I found this book to be haunting.

I thought we would never know whether Jacob was guilty after his father tossed the knife. Certainly I felt as though the author made a good case for guilt: the initial murder, the childhood behaviors and then the second murder. But I loved that there was such ambiguity throughout the book. If you liked this, I would suggest reading "There's Something About Kevin" (although that is definitely much more clear cut). We read this in our book group, and had a great discussion, not only about the story and characters, but whether or not Jacob was truly guilty. Interestingly, we seemed to be split down the middle as to guilt/innocence.

It wasn't till the very last page that I felt he was guilty but along the way I had my doubts.
Yes I will read the book you recommended who is the author?

I agree with Shelly. I played with yes and no till the end of the story. Then I felt he was definitely guilty. It was the parents dealing with the situation that made such an intersting story.

Seems like we are both on the same track Rita as we do agree and he was guilty no doubt in my mind when I finished the ending

Shelly and Rita, I think that's what made it such a good read - the not knowing. I also liked the point of view, I had no idea what trial was going on that Andy was testifying in. I may have missed something in the beginning, but I really enjoyed this book! I'm glad others did too.

yes we seem to agree and you had to go to the very last page to realize he was guilty

I thought this book was thought-provoking & loved it. I'm not a parent (other than mama to two furbabies)but I tried to keep an open mind, but honestly, I thought Jacob was guilty from the very beginning and wanted to scream at Andy for throwing the knife away. At the same time I tried to imagine myself as a parent and knew I would fight to the death for my child. I thought not only did Jacob have major issues but Andy and Lori had issues also. Obviously Andy was in denial and I don't think he ever dealt with his own family issues. Lori obviously had some issues that weren't really discussed. Anyone that commits suicide for whatever reason definitely has issues. Unless Jacob was in treatment when he was a lot younger, I don't think treatment after the fact would have helped him.

you should read mysteries more often if you guessed it from the beginning I guess I just did not want to believe he was capable of killing someone but yes the entire family had issues and I agree that Andy should not of thrown the knife away but you have to say one thing he does keep you guessing till the end. I rally did enjoy it

The book made it obvious Jacob was guilty, no question. The point was, even though Jacob's father could see very well that Jacob was guilty, he still tried to see only what he wanted to see and he still would do anything to be sure Jacob did not suffer the consequences. So then we see what happens when a child is not made to suffer consequences.

The entire family needed help and Jacob needed it since he was a small child so some of this is the responsibility of the parents as the mother realized he was different should of done more to help him and possibly he might of gotten some help he needed it was a good story regardless and I did enjoy it

Shelly wrote: "you should read mysteries more often if you guessed it from the beginning I guess I just did not want to believe he was capable of killing someone but yes the entire family had issues and I agree t..."

Yes I loved the twist when they went to Jamaca & the girl went missing - totally didn't see that coming nor the suicide ride at the end.

I might have to take issue on the constant theme of "family needs help" that I see as part of the comments. Help is hard to come by and help received can be of dubious quality. What "help" really does is to leave a trail for future reference. If this particular family had sought help, it doesn't mean that the horror would not have happened. A trail would have been left, though, that could have prevented some horror.

Shelly wrote: "It wasn't till the very last page that I felt he was guilty but along the way I had my doubts.
Yes I will read the book you recommended who is the author?" The author is Lionel Shriver, but be warned, it is not a nice book, all of the characters are unlikeable and it's quite painful, but all the same a good book to read.

don't know if I am ready for that so might wait for later in the summer right now I am reading the latest murder club number 11 by james patterson as I enjoy this series have you read any of them? thanks for the warning

Shelly wrote: "don't know if I am ready for that so might wait for later in the summer right now I am reading the latest murder club number 11 by james patterson as I enjoy this series have you read any of them? ..."
I have read up to No. 10, between my family we have our favourite authors so rather than us all having one book here and another there we all keep the one author together so my sister has all of the James Pattersons. I am a big fan of Tom Clancy and Clive Cussler but love the murder-mystery-thriller types and there are so many writers out there now it's amazing. I have over 600 books at home and am still buying at least one a week. My husband has even helped me make a room in our house into my library. It's awesome.

I read my books and donate them to an assisted living facility for seniors when I am done with them and although reading james patterson muder club I also like Lisa Scottoline, Stuart Woods and David Baldacci
Your house must look awesome and nice for people to see you enjoy reading from one fellow book lover to another

I think that Jacob was guilty. His parents just didn't realize what a monster he was until the end.

I agree but his mom did notice things when he was a child so she should of done more then and maybe this would not of happened one never knows but the book was great to the last page

Where is the line for parents that say "ok my child is just odd" to "we need to seek professional help for our child"? and how long do you wait to decide??

I think any indication that a child is lacking in compassion or empathy is an indicator of potential sociopathy and should be dealt with professionally. It never hurts to consult a psychologist but it does hurt not to.

Janet wrote: "I think any indication that a child is lacking in compassion or empathy is an indicator of potential sociopathy and should be dealt with professionally. It never hurts to consult a psychologist but..."

I agree!

I agree and the mother should of done that when he was little

So, of course, the mom should have done something? Can we change it to read the parents should have gotten together and tried to seek help?

no but that might be a wake up call to any parent reading it and not sure if there own child needs help

Lori wrote: "So, of course, the mom should have done something? Can we change it to read the parents should have gotten together and tried to seek help?"

The mother was the one who noticed the problems. Andy doesn't seem to think there is anything too wrong or rather, he is in a huge state of denial. Yes they both should have done something, but since the mother noticed the violent behavior and "accidents" happening, she should have been more proactive.

Renee wrote: "Shelly wrote: "you should read mysteries more often if you guessed it from the beginning I guess I just did not want to believe he was capable of killing someone but yes the entire family had issue..."

I loved that too, and as soon as I read the part when the girlfriend was missing my heart just kinda stopped. I was really wanting him to be just a weird kid who got a bad rap, but that was the point when I had to admit to myself that he was definitely a murderer. Such a good book!

I could not put it down and the ending totally shocked me as I too was praying he was innocent