Fantasy Geeks discussion

Ok, so fair warning - this contains graphic scenes, definitely not suitable for people under 18.

Grateful for feedback on the second entry.

http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/3...

Lynxie wrote: "Ok, so fair warning - this contains graphic scenes, definitely not suitable for people under 18.

Grateful for feedback on the second entry.

http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/3......"

Love them, Lynxie--comments added after the second chapter. :) Gina.

Thanks Gina - I understand your comments. I guess I put it in there to make it a little more palatable for those who aren't keen on graphic stuff. It ties Joseph in, which is a strong point at that part.

I think it might make a bit more sense once the rest of the storyis in place, but I'll take it on board and since that's the first draft I'll probably change it and it'll be completely different by the time I'm finished with it :D

I didn't find the graphic stuff too much. It felt right, a clear indication of a woman's lot in that world. I wanted her to find something to hit them with! Love the dragon! Wasn't saying to take it out of the chapter (memory) just a tad later? Once we realise that she really can't do much to change things? (Huh! Good to see the damaged goods!) Possibly as she is cornered in the alley?

Personally, the first chapter alone, would make me want to read on! Then it just keeps getting better. Looking forward to you finishing it. Title, yet?

No title yet Gina, I seem to be going about it all backwards. I have a very strong idea of what is going to happen (outline sort of) and I know what I want on the cover... just no idea on names yet.

I had thought to go with 'Sorcha' or 'Shamrock' but how boring is that!? I'll have to see where the rest of the story takes me and go from there.

Thanks for the really positive feedback :D Now I just need to get my bum on the chair and write more! I got 2000 words a couple of days ago, now I'm not even at 3000 yet... grr. Life just keeps getting in the way, and this rubbish that is work! I mean really?! Talk about an inspiration killer!! ;)

Absolutely! I find it very frustrating when the writing flows and I can't just sit and write. But then somedays, when I have time on my side, the muse just won't make an appearance! Grrr. Good luck! Keep me tuned in! :) Gina.

Will do :D

Thanks so much Jaq! I will get to those typos and suggestiOns hopefully today and maybe even get some more written! Real life just keeps getting in the way!!

Alrighty changes made with the exception of the last paragraph on chapter 1 - still working that one out :P

I have a quick Q about this paragraph. Does it seem to be a bit at odds with itself? I'm not sure if the segway into the second half is strong enough.

Sorcha glanced over at the grey sack-like dress that all the kitchen workers wore. She was one of a number of women who were held accountable for preparing the food for the entire female population of Catama. Catama was cut in half, most of the men living in the warmth and sunshine, toiling away in the fields and forests providing food and resources for the dragons and humans, while the women were cloistered in the dark, dank castle and dungeons. The hours were long, the conditions poor and the work grueling. Despite all of that, Sorcha actually enjoyed her work as much as any woman could do in Catama. Wrangling her hair into some semblance of a bun she eyed her reflection and could see the sadness seeping into her eyes. The tears came unbidden, but she let them fall and wrapping her arms around her growing belly she slid to the cold stone floor of her room.

Thanks Jaq :D It's so easy to slip back into telling!! Grr...

I shall go back to the drawing board and see how I can fix that.

I had thought about the 'don't hurt me the Dragons would be upset if I lost the baby', but I may play that card a bit later, so I didn't want to use it too much.

There most certainly is a 'not all men are like that' in the plot :D Joseph is one of those men, and even though he's not actively in the current plot he'll be woven through the story along with a few others :D

Thanks so much for your thoughts and suggestions guys :D It's brilliant to have a sounding board for this sort of thing, none of my friends in r/l are into writing at all and really don't understand what I'm trying to do.

Sharing is the best part of indie writing. It used to be solitary. I have driven my husband mad at times (although he is wonderful) and I certainly couldn't contact my lit agent about anything. She was too busy to be inclined to talk. I looked up things on the internet about contracts, publisher stuff, rather than ask. And yes, unless someone else is writing they just don't get it.

I do really wish one of my r/l friends was into it! I find I'm always thinking of something and just dying to see how it fits with someone else, but alas... when I get in front of the computer I can only sometimes remember what I was going to ask!!

Must admit, I have a BF who lives in the A.C.T who I can usually phone. She's also one of my Beta Readers, so when I say, "I'm having problems with Meng," or "What do you think I should do about..." she understands. I've also been able to bitch, or to sob, to her about the trials and tribulations of the submission process.

I have had to resort to chewing my besties ear off about the whole thing! She's probably sick of hearing about Sorcha and Joseph and the dragons!

She's probably busting for more!

*giggles* I love it when characters take on a life of their own! Sorcha wasn't meant to be a main character... but she's driving this story like crazy! I've just come up with a way to tangle her in there for pretty much the whole story!!

Eveleen will need to hold on for now... :)

Jaq - I have a Q about the comment you made about the names in the story... was that implying that the name choice was a little 'off' or something? I was wondering if you were referring to Thelma and Netty or someone else?

Lynxie wrote: "No title yet Gina, I seem to be going about it all backwards. I have a very strong idea of what is going to happen (outline sort of) and I know what I want on the cover... just no idea on names yet..."

Hey lynxie,
My advice is to leave the title until later. Titles often come when you are further into the book and understand the setting and characters and events better. Having said that, I'm terrible with titles, lol. I was still thinking one up after the book was finished.

I did?!? Hrm, well I had never heard of Sorcha before, I thought it was not common. Lol!

Barb also put a random name maker in her post in the Fun thread.

*noddles!*

Oh well - Sorcha is staying I think.

I need more hours in the day... not enough for writing!!!!

I love the name! Definitely keep it! It's not that common. (I hadn't heard of it)

I also love Eveleen :) Kind of like Evelyn but Eve-LEAN...

I have a Q for you guys who've published... but I might ask it in another topic :)

Alrighty guys... what do you think of the changes... and if you're keen to read the full thing later, maybe don't read Chapter 3... hehe

http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/3...

Oh.....this is the critique section? dang it, I posted my excerpts in the self promotion forum. ugghhhhh, i'm too Quickdraw McGraw for my own good.

I'd love a critique on my very short stories.

The Harsh Reality of Winter: http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/2...

Take a Chance: http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/3...

and Feeding Musk: http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/2...

If you're interested, I posted Floodbridge in the Self Promotion forum as an excerpt that can be critiqued. Most of the stories I've written were written in my younger days (I'm at the age of 18 which is beginning to scare me for some reason).

I'm going offline now, but I'll be back sometime tomorrow and will read them then, Nipaporn!

Georgina wrote: "I'm going offline now, but I'll be back sometime tomorrow and will read them then, Nipaporn!"

Okay! I'll be looking forward to seeing your critique!

Talk to you then. Must disconnect myself from the computer, it's hard, but it must be done. :):)

Great excerpts, Nipaporn! My comments on the pages themselves. Off to buy the book now. :) Gina.