Writing Help-Group For Everyone discussion

okai. So the point of this topic/thread/conversation-thingie is that some people have characters that have heaps of flaws, and they want to know how they can fix them. So, post what flaws your character has, then someone else will help you with your problem. :)

OMG GENIOUS!!!!

um......not ehre im at school

My character is a mother who has to protect her daughter from her lover(he's the bad guy and the child's father), and I'm not sure how to express her-She's a mother who cares for her daughter like any other mother, but also is still in love with her lover, so...

kyle:

Nickname: Kye
Age: 14
Gender: male
Power: Air
Habits: He is usually seen staring up at the sky, lost in a daydream... well that’s what it seems. He is actually listening to everything around him (sound is connected to his power so he has like...super-hearing)
Description: Blonde hair and light blue eyes.
Personality: He is adventures, brave, courageous and curious. He fools around and can’t be serious sometimes. He is childish but when there is danger, he is the first to step up to the task of getting rid of it. He would rather die than let his friends die. In the future, he was chosen out of 20 others to lead the other four that came with him.
History: He has amnesia but he came from the future in order to stop a war.
Other: he is cute ^_^ and a girl at Elementum takes interest in him.

what should i add to him?

Alexos

Nickname: Ally, Al, Alex. Lexi, Alexi
Age: 13
Gender: Female
Power: Water
Habits: Always touches her necklace that was given to her by her mum when she is upset, afraid, nervous
Description: Black, wavy hair, black eyes
Personality: She is a determined and stubborn girl. She’s shy at first, but once she gets her confidents she is a real warrior. She is afraid of her dad and she hates him. She is afraid of herself and has learnt to hate herself
History: Alexis is the daughter of Gwidon. She lives with him in the castle. She was taught to hate and despise elementals, even herself. She deosn’t know her dad is one too. She lives in the dungeons and is treated like a slave and a prisoner. Her mum, Liora, had the power of the tide and after giving birth to Alexis and was discovered to have this power she was killed.
Future: She is captured by the other 6 when Tara tells the others that she saw her. She was their prisoner and was taken to be used as a hostage.
Other: no one trusts her
 

*alexis

tara

Nickname: When she was a dark warrior, she was called Tal
Age: 17
Gender: Female
Power: Earth
Habits: Acts like a boy and has a habit of seeing herself as a boy: example: “Girls are so stupid”
Description: Read Hair, boy-short, boyish features. Green eyes.
Personality: She is strong, independent, and sarcastic at times. Acts like a boy. Acts like a grown-up. Strong warrior. Tough, hard to crack. Serious. Hostile to those she doesn’t trust
History: Tara was born in a village (Ousolna). Her mum dies giving birth to her and her dad left as soon as he knew Tara’s mum was pregnant. Tara was taken in by an old lady (Leah) who saw her as a baby on the streets. When Tara was 6 the women dies. Tara lived on the streets. At the age of 7 she dresses up like a boy and starts training to be a Dark Warrior. When she turned into a squire she went on a quest where it was discovered that she was a female. At the age of 17
Other:

Eric

Nickname: none
Age: 14
Gender: Male
Power: trees
Habits: Runs his hands through his hair.
Description: Brown hair, Brown eyes. Tall, broad shoulders.
Personality: Shy, smart, logical. He is the brains of the group. The scientist. the smart one
History:
Other: british accent

Neal

Nickname:
Age:
Gender: Male
Power: flame
Habits: Crossed his arms a lot
Description: Black hair, blue eyes. Serious face.
Personality: Serious, stubborn, troublsem. Keeps to his descisions. Untrusting.
History:
Other:
 

Bianca

Nickname:
Age: 13
Gender: Female
Power: Lightning
Habits:
Description: Short, straight hair. Dark brown eyes.
Personality: She is childish, innoscent, naive. Cheerful, always smiles.
History:
Other:
 

liam

Nickname: nope
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Power: Light
Habits: Acts like a parent and leader, takes charge
Description: Black , long hair, Black eyes. Tall, fit.
Personality: He is always tthe leader. Strong and confident and level-headed people have this feeling that he must be gthe leader. Although acting like a brave person (he thinks he acts) he knows how to hide his unsertenty.
History:
Other:

Sophia.....or a more medical name!!

Nickname: Shoph, Shophie
Age: 14
Gender: Female
Power: Ice
Habits: Twirls her hair around her finger
Description: Raven curly hair, green-yellow eyes
Personality: Sghe is sweet, compassionate anmd kind. She loves helping those in need and cares more for others than for herself.
History:
Other:

*medival;

WOAH. Slow down a bit, will ya?!?!!!!! One pair of eyes can only read so fast, ya know!!! O_O

lol kk ^_^

Iesha wrote: "My character is a mother who has to protect her daughter from her lover(he's the bad guy and the child's father), and I'm not sure how to express her-She's a mother who cares for her daughter like ..."

First person's first, Coolkid! ;P

@Iesha: Try to make her sound a bit confused, scared, yet not completely over the guy but still holding out on him by sheer will.

But it also depends on what the bad guy is like. When two characters are so different, they should blend in together, the opposites attracting. Not sure if my 'help' was any at all, maybe someone has a more better opinion than I?

@Coolkid123: are they all from the same story?

@pho yes

Hmm... So they are all main characters, or are some of them side characters?

nope.

The bad guy in my story greatest flaw is that he is power hungry yet he is conflicted between his love for his family and the side of him that crave power.

Iesha wrote: "The bad guy in my story greatest flaw is that he is power hungry yet he is conflicted between his love for his family and the side of him that crave power."

Wow. Okay, hmm. *thinks*

Tried making your mother character pleas with the guy to "stop being crazy" because she doesn't want to leave him? As in, appealing to his good side, the loving side. But at the same time stronger than she knows.

Sorry it isn't the best advice I can give you at the moment, but I am typing a speech for English... *tap tap tap on keyboard*

Coolkidrox123 {The Shadow} wrote: "nope."

Okay then.. :3

so... poebs....any help?

Coolkidrox123 {The Shadow} wrote: "so... poebs....any help?"

Call me that again, Coolkid, and I'll possibly fire my bazooker at you.... :P

And o' course. *starts with your FIRST character*

Coolkidrox123 {The Shadow} wrote: "kyle:

Nickname: Kye
Age: 14
Gender: male
Power: Air
Habits: He is usually seen staring up at the sky, lost in a daydream... well that’s what it seems. He is actually listening to everything aroun..."

Hmmm... Well, I can't think of anything for this character. You did well with it! :S may need to work on your punctuation, though. That is TERRIBLE... xD
But maybe someone else has a suggestion for CoolKidRox123....???

:P dude, i didnt have basic english teachings!! so ....yeah :'( lol YYAYA loves you <3 poebes ^_^

Coolkidrox123 {The Shadow} wrote: ":P dude, i didnt have basic english teachings!! so ....yeah :'( lol YYAYA loves you <3 poebes ^_^"

*eye twitches*

Coolkidrox123 {The Shadow} wrote: "Alexos

Nickname: Ally, Al, Alex. Lexi, Alexi
Age: 13
Gender: Female
Power: Water
Habits: Always touches her necklace that was given to her by her mum when she is upset, afraid, nervous
Descriptio..."

Wow. Poor gurl. :(

Anyway, lemme think on this one. *thinking....thinking......thinking....*

(BAHHA)

btw, ignore their history. kyle, eric, baianca and neal all have ammnesia

Well, that makes things so much better! :P

Coolkidrox123 {The Shadow} wrote: "(BAHHA)"

-_-

^_^

*facepalms*

*facephoebs*

..............................……………….…!!!!! >:3

so...help?

Coolkidrox123 {The Shadow} wrote: "Alexos

Nickname: Ally, Al, Alex. Lexi, Alexi
Age: 13
Gender: Female
Power: Water
Habits: Always touches her necklace that was given to her by her mum when she is upset, afraid, nervous
Descriptio..."

Doesn't like cats? O_+

Has a mean streak if you get on her bad side...?

cats.....dont acutally exist in ilca

well... she gets all stubborn and a little bit like a warrior if she wants to

Iesha wrote: "My character is a mother who has to protect her daughter from her lover(he's the bad guy and the child's father), and I'm not sure how to express her-She's a mother who cares for her daughter like ..."

In my oppinion, your female character would be more a woman who would often carry a sadness. For if she still loves the father of her child then she would be yearning for him, but she would also want to protect the child. The latter, I think, would be the one best left to win out. A true mother lets nothing get between her and the child of her bossom. Nothing.

julius!! check nmy chaarcters too!

Coolkidrox123 {The Shadow} wrote: "kyle:

Nickname: Kye
Age: 14
Gender: male
Power: Air
Habits: He is usually seen staring up at the sky, lost in a daydream... well that’s what it seems. He is actually listening to everything aroun..."

Then I think you could maybe add to him (and to your story) by introducing the element that if he does not complete the task he has been sent to do within a certain space of time, he will forget where he came from and why. After all he does have amnesia.

Coolkidrox123 {The Shadow} wrote: "Alexos

Nickname: Ally, Al, Alex. Lexi, Alexi
Age: 13
Gender: Female
Power: Water
Habits: Always touches her necklace that was given to her by her mum when she is upset, afraid, nervous
Descriptio..."

She seems fine, but if it were me I might change her name.

Coolkidrox123 {The Shadow} wrote: "tara

Nickname: When she was a dark warrior, she was called Tal
Age: 17
Gender: Female
Power: Earth
Habits: Acts like a boy and has a habit of seeing herself as a boy: example: “Girls are so stupi..."

Uhmmm... maybe she leads a band of local thieves in some rag-tag town, keeping them in line with her fierce, cold attitude, and brazen nature? Or perhaps she's a wandering thief, stealing what she can when she can. She would probably be pretty good at it by now.

Coolkidrox123 {The Shadow} wrote: "Eric

Nickname: none
Age: 14
Gender: Male
Power: trees
Habits: Runs his hands through his hair.
Description: Brown hair, Brown eyes. Tall, broad shoulders.
Personality: Shy, smart, logical. He is ..."

Maybe he came from the future with Kyle?

Coolkidrox123 {The Shadow} wrote: "Neal

Nickname:
Age:
Gender: Male
Power: flame
Habits: Crossed his arms a lot
Description: Black hair, blue eyes. Serious face.
Personality: Serious, stubborn, troublsem. Keeps to his descision..."

Perhaps there might be some history between him and Tara? Maybe they've crossed paths a few times.

Coolkidrox123 {The Shadow} wrote: "Bianca

Nickname:
Age: 13
Gender: Female
Power: Lightning
Habits:
Description: Short, straight hair. Dark brown eyes.
Personality: She is childish, innoscent, naive. Cheerful, always smiles.
His..."

Well, she would probably ramble a great deal, and make friends with anybody. And her personality seems to suggest that she would have a family. They would all be living together happily, when (if she is going to take part in whatever adventure you're cooking up) something bad happens (a kidnapping, village raid ect) and she is whisked away from her family. Still, despite being sold into slavery, or forced to wait upon a fat old man wearing purple, or whatever, she never quite loses her hope, and as a result, she has some happiness in her otherwise now made drear world.

Julius wrote: "Coolkidrox123 {The Shadow} wrote: "kyle:

Nickname: Kye
Age: 14
Gender: male
Power: Air
Habits: He is usually seen staring up at the sky, lost in a daydream... well that’s what it seems. He is act..."

they were sent to the past, they volenterr knowing that they'd never return. they didnt know that they'd loose their memories. That was unplanned