SOS: Serious Overload of Series discussion

Why do Authors keep friending me, when the only books we have in common are a couple of children's books?

When they write for a genre I don't read?

When the only thing in common is growing up in the same country?

What do they hope to gain?

I'm sure not gonna read their stuff, not gonna promote it, don't wanna know who they are. I just feel exploited!

What about you? How do you feel? Does it happen to you?

I don't mind friending an author if 1)I have things in common with them (books, interests, etc.) 2) They don't spam me 3)They communicate with me or in groups that I frequent.

Generally, I'll pass, especially if they are friending me because I've entered a GR giveaway.

I have a lot of authors "friend" me, too. I accept very, very few. Some I have hit it off with, but those are usually ones that are actually active in a group I'm in. Some I'm completely clueless as to why/how they tagged me?!

It seems like a lot of work on their part for very little pay off. Some you can look and see who they have been trolling for.

One lady I felt total guilt over. She seemed like such a nice person, and I hate to be rude. But then I realized, she really didn't know me and had asked tons of others.

I've also "unfriended" a couple.

Yeah, I've got a couple of authors I talk to and enjoy, but most *blah*.

I've even requested a couple of them be my friend - of which they all said Yes, of course. But then that is my choice, not theirs.

OOooh, I've been thinking about this recently. I mean, I accept everyone and for the most part, most people are part of groups or have very similar books. But I wonder about non-authors who friend me and have nothing in common too! The other day, someone recommended me a book and I just thought, have you even looked at my shelves? If you haven't, then don't bother, I can find my own books (I have enough tbr already) and if you have and you're looking to "expand my horizons", once again, don't bother.

With authors, I kind of find it uncomfortable. I like that they have websites/blogs with info and that but for me, I've started not to like the amount of author-reader interaction. I don't want to read a book and think about the person who wrote it. It sounds really weird but I kind of want to think that books just appear and it's "true" rather than has just come from someone's head.

Also, I've been friended by authors who have seen I've added or currently reading their books. The pressure, yeah? I then have to give their books high ratings whether I liked it or not.

These were my two recent recommendations (and because I'm friends with them, I'm going to have to delete these comments from my home page)

-- are you for real? Historical non-fiction about American military history? I'm not even American for a start!! How would I know about their military history and no offence but why would I care? And then the one about politics?? These are like my two least favourite things!!

Josie wrote: "OOooh, I've been thinking about this recently. I mean, I accept everyone and for the most part, most people are part of groups or have very similar books. But I wonder about non-authors who friend ..."

I've also wondered about these random book recommendations from total strangers about topics I don't want to read about. I just always delete them cause I figure they just want to promote the book on behalf of the publisher/author.

As to authors who friend you when you're reading their books? Either leave them on hold or block them. Either way they don't know, and I'm sure they friend so many people, they'll never know you didn't accept them.

I have a general friending rule - If you have more books than friends, then, maybe you aren't really interested in my friendship you are just a friend collector.

Authors can follow you rather than friend you which could be a better option - We can follow them when we become fans of their work. They can do the same thing.

I like the sound of that AH :)

And I have the same rule about friend collectors, though I've got a couple from when I joined GR that I haven't got rid of yet.

I don't get the collectors - I have amassed over 200 friends and I'm due to cull the list - some people I have never heard from once they became my "friend" - I just don't see the point.

LOL. Neither do I ;)

I'm very uncomfortable with friending authors too so I seldom accept the requests - exception, those I met from groups and which currently interact like any normal GR user and are just not trying to pimp their books.

I follow a few authors I like but I'd never friend them. I don't want to feel bad if I write a review that is less than favorable.

I would have to say I'm a collector but the reason behind it is so I can see what others are reading or have read and read the reviews. I've found many great books that way.

Kel, your books read still exceed your friends total, so no you don't qualify for Collector status. And that's a very good thing :D

It might be better to follow someone rather than just friend them. That way you get to read their reviews and see what they're reading without having to interact with them all. Which can be time consuming with so many friends, otherwise you neglect them and so what is the point of friending.

One thing I did recently was add the question which group are you in with me, and if they don't answer or give me a group I know they just picked at random,

i ignore and move on

I've had a question for quite some time now and I'm surprised how many people just ignore it. Especially authors. LOL.

I've blocked a few authors who kept trying to friend me - again they were people whose books I have no interest in.

I'm also a bit picky about friends. I always compare books before I accept/ignore and if I accept and they spam me/constantly implore me to join their role-playing groups ("they're great groups but in danger of dying") then I remove them (yes, I'm taking about teenagers mainly).

Sandra wrote: "Kel, your books read still exceed your friends total, so no you don't qualify for Collector status. And that's a very good thing :D

It might be better to follow someone rather than just friend the..."

Good idea, thanks.

I accept everyone. I don't even really look at the book recommendations. I have a good 40 unread book recs in that file. I don't even really look at the friend updates either.

I have a couple of authors who message sometimes. But not enough to be annoying.

I just decided that it's not worth my time to research every person who asks to friend me.

This may sound greedy, but I'm a book reviewer and I have a review list a mile long. When an author friended me and pushed his book at me, I asked for a copy to review. His reply? Thanks anyway. That's fine with me, but why would I buy a book from an author I don't know is even a good writer when I have a ton of free books to review? I'd have been happy to review it, but buy it unknown?

I do buy books, btw. Print and digital, but they're usually (not always) from authors I have already read and like.

And that author who friended me? He has 50 books shelved and now 3800 friends. Minus me because I unfriended him.

ROFL. That's a classic Carol, he was obviously just out to pimp his book, good call on your part.

Yeah...I look at the friend/book ration, then whether they actually answered my question, and whether they are someone I will interact with in groups. I've got to the point where I have more than enough "real-life" people I have to "friend" due to work, that I no longer feel guilty about not friending people who really have nothing to do with me online. I may be missing out on an opportunity, but I'd rather relax with the cool people I've met, and make new friends there, rather than through out-of-the-blue, very, very scanty "connections". I think about "weeding" through my friend list, but am not bothered enough to do it (have more than enough things to do with my time...)

I also tend to avoid friending authors...I don't want to disturb their writing time (greedy me....more books, more books! Stop chatting with all these people!) though I do enjoy following their blogs, and commenting there, sometimes! (Though I enjoy the relationships (and fairly non-interactive ones!) with the ones I do have as friends!)

I put a question on mine too; seems to have helped. I was getting many "collectors" with a big, fat zero books in common. They get ignored. I am one who will friend people if we have books in common because I do like the updates with book reviews and books to read. I think I'm friends with 2? (I'll have to check) indie authors, but we also have books in common.

I don't mind it when they're in the same groups that I'm in (if we actively converse on the same threads) Sometimes I get the friend request and I wonder where did you come from? Never seen or heard of you before. When I was newer to GR I just accepted them. Now not so much. I learned my lesson with the over abundance of invites for things that have nothing to do with the genre I keep to and the updates get on my nerves when it's not someone who's tastes are comprable to mine.

Anybody who ignores my question gets ignored in turn. A few times people I've never talked to have answered the question in such a nice, funny or unexpected way that I've always accepted them.

Uh-oh. I accept and send friend requests with indiscriminate abandon, not a one of them is a "friend". I never ever thought about using follow instead. I guess I didnt really think about what it meant as opposed to friend (why? who knows!)

Until this thread I never ever thought about actually being "friends" with them either! What do you do? Have actual conversations and such with them? I've had a few back-and-forth exchanges in comments, do you mean that, or actual ordinary "hope the babies feeling better, baked a batch of scones today, lovely weather we're having" conversations? Wow, I feel even more socially retarded than usual!!

I never accept friend invites from authors. I learned early on in GR that most authors aren't active in GR and when they are, they spam the hell out of you.

And to be completely honest, I don't want to be friends with authors. There are some authors who I've found to be amazing people (Ilona Andrews & Stacia Kane to name a few) but for the most part, I see it like this: You are a producer and I am a consumer. As long as you continue churning out exceptional products, I'll keep buying them. When you stop producing items I enjoy, I will stop spending my hard-earned money. I don't really care about what you had for dinner or what you're going name your puppy. I don't need nor want to feel like I "know" an author. Maybe it's not the most popular of opinions, but I'm being honest. After all, I help pay their bills. They don't help pay mine.