Jesse :)

“Well I'd certainly hate to interrupt your pleasant night stroll with my sudden death.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

“What I actually want to call you is a hell of a lot more unprintable than your name”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

“Well I'm not kissing the mundane," said Jace. "I'd rather stay down here and rot."
"Forever?" said Simon. "Forever is an awfully long time."
Jace raised his eyebrows, "I knew it," he said, "you want to kiss me, don't you?"
Simon threw his hands up in exasperation. "Of course not but if-"
"I guess it's true what they say," observed Jace. "There are no straight men in the trenches."
"That's atheists jackass," said Simon furiously. "There are no atheists in the trenches.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

“It’s sarcasm, Josh.”

“Sarcasm?”

“It’s from the Greek, sarkasmos. To bite the lips. It means that you aren’t really saying what you mean, but people will get your point. I invented it, Bartholomew named it.”

“Well, if the village idiot named it, I’m sure it’s a good thing.”

“There you go, you got it.”

“Got what?”

“Sarcasm.”

“No, I meant it.”

“Sure you did.”

“Is that sarcasm?”

“Irony, I think.”

“What’s the difference?”

“I haven’t the slightest idea.”

“So you’re being ironic now, right?”

“No, I really don’t know.”

“Maybe you should ask the idiot.”

“Now you’ve got it.”

“What?”

“Sarcasm.”
― Christopher Moore, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal