Colin Humston

“Amelia Bedelia," said Mrs. Rogers,
"Christmas is just around the corner."
"It is?" said Amelia Bedelia. "Which corner?"
Mrs. Rogers lauhged and said,
"I mean tomorrow is Christmas Day."
"I know that," said Amelia Bedelia.”
― Peggy Parish, Merry Christmas, Amelia Bedelia

“Neighbors would pass, and when they honked I'd remember that I was in my Speedo. Then I'd wrap my towel like a skirt around my waist and remind my sisters that this was not girlish but Egyptian, thank you very much.”
― David Sedaris, Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls: Essays, Etc.

“Hey, I’m a Poseidon kid,” he said. “I can’t drown. And neither can my pancakes.”
― Rick Riordan, The Blood of Olympus

“When little boys have learned a new bad word they are never happy till they have chalked it up on a door. And this also is Literature.”
― Rudyard Kipling, Indian Tales