David Chipman

“Not enough,” Annie said. “The press is crawling down my throat for this. And up my ass. Both directions, Venkat! They’re gonna meet in the middle!”
― Andy Weir, The Martian

“Also, please tell them that each and every one of their mothers is a prostitute. —Watney PS: Their sisters, too.”
― Andy Weir, The Martian

“Message reads: 'Houston, be advised: Rich Purnell is a steely-eyed missile man.”
― Andy Weir, The Martian

“Log Entry: SOL 118

My conversation with NASA about the Water Reclaimer was boring and riddled with technical details. So I'll paraphrase for you:

Me: "This is obviously a clog. How about I take it apart and check the internal tubing?"

NASA: (After about 5 hours of deliberation) "No. You'll fuck it up and die."

So I took it apart.”
― Andy Weir, The Martian