

“Grief requires imagination: mental images of the one you've lost, of the world that would have been... On the night Mom was killed, I was halted: imagination became a dangerous place, full of darkness and terror. Creativity would have taken energy I needed to survive. And so I could not write, and I could not remember, and I could hardly mourn, only fear.”
― After the Eclipse: A Mother's Murder, a Daughter's Search
― After the Eclipse: A Mother's Murder, a Daughter's Search

“And like many lies, this one revealed a wish. How lovely it would have been, I thought, to have had some time just to sink into misery. To not have to deal with family or school. To be surrounded by people whose job it was to keep you safe from your suicidal hand. And to have the circumstances of your life truly reflect what had happened to it. A mental hospital seemed to make a lot more sense than neat rows of chairs and desks, than football bleachers, than that white-lined running track.”
― After the Eclipse: A Mother's Murder, a Daughter's Search
― After the Eclipse: A Mother's Murder, a Daughter's Search

“That moment was when I realized that I was wary of all men, not just those on the official suspect list. I had a deep conviction that anyone could do anything— knowing that people can kill is far different from seeing the proof. I had learned that humanity itself did not have limits. I knew the killer was a man because of the grunt I'd heard that night; so I knew that men, especially, were capable of anything. That night in the hotel, it wasn't so much that I thought my uncle might hurt me. It was that I didn't want to be vulnerable near that violent energy, however deeply buried it might be, however well checked. I thought it was possible that his shyness was a product of shame, or a subconscious disguise. I was sure there was no such thing as an entirely benevolent man.”
― After the Eclipse: A Mother's Murder, a Daughter's Search
― After the Eclipse: A Mother's Murder, a Daughter's Search

“It was safer for certain people to think she'd had it coming to her; it made it easier to believe it wouldn't come for them.”
― After the Eclipse: A Mother's Murder, a Daughter's Search
― After the Eclipse: A Mother's Murder, a Daughter's Search

“Those fantasies, and that rage, eclipsed the grief and love I felt for my mother. My memories of her were becoming dimmer with time, and it was easier to feel fear and anger, because they seemed to have an endpoint: the trial, if it would ever come. Sadness was more dangerous, because I knew it would never end.”
― After the Eclipse: A Mother's Murder, a Daughter's Search
― After the Eclipse: A Mother's Murder, a Daughter's Search

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