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“Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it had been all three. Even among men lacking all distinction he inevitably stood out as a man lacking more distinction than all the rest, and people who met him were always impressed by how unimpressive he was.”
― Catch-22
― Catch-22
“Good God, how much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include tooth decay in His divine system of creation? Why in the world did He ever create pain?'
'Pain?' Lieutenant Shiesskopf's wife pounced upon the word victoriously. 'Pain is a warning to us of bodily dangers.'
'And who created the dangers?' Yossarian demanded. 'Why couldn't He have used a doorbell to notify us, or one of His celestial choirs? Or a system of blue-and-red neon tubes right in the middle of each person's forehead?'
'People would certainly look silly walking around with red neon tubes right in the middle of their foreheads.'
'They certainly look beautiful now writhing in agony, don't they?”
― Catch-22
'Pain?' Lieutenant Shiesskopf's wife pounced upon the word victoriously. 'Pain is a warning to us of bodily dangers.'
'And who created the dangers?' Yossarian demanded. 'Why couldn't He have used a doorbell to notify us, or one of His celestial choirs? Or a system of blue-and-red neon tubes right in the middle of each person's forehead?'
'People would certainly look silly walking around with red neon tubes right in the middle of their foreheads.'
'They certainly look beautiful now writhing in agony, don't they?”
― Catch-22
“Just what the hell did you mean, you bastard, when you said we couldn't punish you?" said the corporal who could take shorthand reading from his steno pad.
"All right," said the colonel. "Just what the hell did you mean?"
"I didn't say you couldn't punish me, sir."
"When," asked the colonel.
"When what, sir?"
"Now you're asking me questions again."
"I'm sorry, sir. I'm afraid I don't understand your question."
"When didn't you say we couldn't punish you? Don't you understand my question?"
"No, sir, I don't understand."
"You've just told us that. Now suppose you answer my question."
"But how can I answer it?"
"That's another question you're asking me."
"I'm sorry, sir. But I don't know how to answer it. I never said you couldn't punish me."
"Now you're telling us what you did say. I'm asking you to tell us when you didn't say it."
Clevinger took a deep breath. "I always didn't say you couldn't punish me, sir.”
― Catch-22
"All right," said the colonel. "Just what the hell did you mean?"
"I didn't say you couldn't punish me, sir."
"When," asked the colonel.
"When what, sir?"
"Now you're asking me questions again."
"I'm sorry, sir. I'm afraid I don't understand your question."
"When didn't you say we couldn't punish you? Don't you understand my question?"
"No, sir, I don't understand."
"You've just told us that. Now suppose you answer my question."
"But how can I answer it?"
"That's another question you're asking me."
"I'm sorry, sir. But I don't know how to answer it. I never said you couldn't punish me."
"Now you're telling us what you did say. I'm asking you to tell us when you didn't say it."
Clevinger took a deep breath. "I always didn't say you couldn't punish me, sir.”
― Catch-22
“A drop of ink may make a million think.”
―
―
“His heart cracked, and he fell in love. He wondered if she would marry him.
“Tu sei pazzo,” she told him with a pleasant laugh.
“Why am I crazy?” he asked.
“Perché non posso sposare.”
“Why can’t you get married?”
“Because I am not a virgin,” she answered.
“What has that got to do with it?”
“Who will marry me? No one wants a girl who is not a virgin.”
“I will. I’ll marry you.”
“Ma non posso sposarti.”
“Why can’t you marry me?”
“Perché sei pazzo.”
“Why am I crazy?”
“Perché vuoi sposarmi.”
Yossarian wrinkled his forehead with quizzical amusement. “You won’t marry me because I’m crazy, and you say I’m crazy because I want to marry you? Is that right?”
“Si.”
“Tu sei pazz’!” he told her loudly.
“Perché?” she shouted back at him indignantly, her unavoidable round breasts rising and falling in a saucy huff beneath the pink chemise as she sat up in bed indignantly. “Why am I crazy?”
“Because you won’t marry me.”
“Stupido!” she shouted back at him, and smacked him loudly and flamboyantly on the chest with the back of her hand. “Non posso sposarti! Non capisci? Non posso sposarti.”
“Oh, sure, I understand. And why can’t you marry me?”
“Perché sei pazzo!”
“And why am I crazy?”
“Perché vuoi sposarmi.”
“Because I want to marry you. Carina, ti amo,” he explained, and he drew her gently back down to the pillow. “Ti amo molto.”
“Tu sei pazzo,” she murmured in reply, flattered.
“Perché?”
“Because you say you love me. How can you love a girl who is not a virgin?”
“Because I can’t marry you.”
She bolted right up again in a threatening rage. “Why can’t you marry me?” she demanded, ready to clout him again if he gave an uncomplimentary reply. “Just because I am not a virgin?”
“No, no, darling. Because you’re crazy.”
― Catch-22
“Tu sei pazzo,” she told him with a pleasant laugh.
“Why am I crazy?” he asked.
“Perché non posso sposare.”
“Why can’t you get married?”
“Because I am not a virgin,” she answered.
“What has that got to do with it?”
“Who will marry me? No one wants a girl who is not a virgin.”
“I will. I’ll marry you.”
“Ma non posso sposarti.”
“Why can’t you marry me?”
“Perché sei pazzo.”
“Why am I crazy?”
“Perché vuoi sposarmi.”
Yossarian wrinkled his forehead with quizzical amusement. “You won’t marry me because I’m crazy, and you say I’m crazy because I want to marry you? Is that right?”
“Si.”
“Tu sei pazz’!” he told her loudly.
“Perché?” she shouted back at him indignantly, her unavoidable round breasts rising and falling in a saucy huff beneath the pink chemise as she sat up in bed indignantly. “Why am I crazy?”
“Because you won’t marry me.”
“Stupido!” she shouted back at him, and smacked him loudly and flamboyantly on the chest with the back of her hand. “Non posso sposarti! Non capisci? Non posso sposarti.”
“Oh, sure, I understand. And why can’t you marry me?”
“Perché sei pazzo!”
“And why am I crazy?”
“Perché vuoi sposarmi.”
“Because I want to marry you. Carina, ti amo,” he explained, and he drew her gently back down to the pillow. “Ti amo molto.”
“Tu sei pazzo,” she murmured in reply, flattered.
“Perché?”
“Because you say you love me. How can you love a girl who is not a virgin?”
“Because I can’t marry you.”
She bolted right up again in a threatening rage. “Why can’t you marry me?” she demanded, ready to clout him again if he gave an uncomplimentary reply. “Just because I am not a virgin?”
“No, no, darling. Because you’re crazy.”
― Catch-22
Anushri’s 2024 Year in Books
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