

“I avoid that bleak first hour of the working day during which my still sluggish senses and body make every chore a penance. I find that in arriving later, the work which I do perform is of a much higher quality.”
― A Confederacy of Dunces
― A Confederacy of Dunces

“Perhaps I should have been a Negro. I suspect I would have been a rather large and terrifying one, continually pressing my ample thigh against the withered thighs of old white ladies in public conveyances a great deal and eliciting more than one shriek of panic. Then, too, if I were a Negro, I would not be pressured by my mother to find a good job, for no good jobs would be available. My mother herself, a worn old Negress, would be too broken by years of underpaid labor as a domestic to go out bowling at night. She and I could live most pleasantly in some moldy shack in the slums in a state of ambitionless peace, realizing contentedly that we were unwanted, that striving was meaningless.”
― A Confederacy of Dunces
― A Confederacy of Dunces

“When Fortuna spins you downward, go out to a movie and get more out of life.”
― A Confederacy of Dunces
― A Confederacy of Dunces

“with the breakdown of the medieval system, the gods of chaos, lunacy, and bad taste gained ascendancy.”
― A Confederacy of Dunces
― A Confederacy of Dunces

“Psycho? The woman's senile. We had to stop at about thirty gas stations on the way over here. Finally I got tired of getting out of the car and showing her which was the Men's and which was the Women's, so I let her pick them herself. I worked out a system. The law of averages. I laid money on her and she came out about fifty-fifty.”
― A Confederacy of Dunces
― A Confederacy of Dunces
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