Mike Wazowski

“Was it a test?” she asked. “I mean, I know I'm still new to this. I'm still the rookie. Did you hang back to test me, to see if I'd be able to handle it alone?”
“Well, kind of,” he said. “Actually, no, nothing like that. My shoelace was untied. That's why I was late. That's why you were alone.”
“I could have been killed because you were tying your SHOELACE?”
“An untied shoelace an be dangerous,” he said. “I could have tripped.”
She stared at him. A moment dragged by.
“I'm joking,” he said at last.
She relaxed. “Really?”
“Absolutely. I would never have tripped. I'm far too graceful”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“I woke up, a bag of bones. Literally. They had gathered up my bones and put them in a bag and thrown the bag into a river.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“I'm placing you under arrest for murder, conspiracy to commit murder and, I don't know, possibly littering.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“Her parents wanted her to find her own way in life. That’s what they’d said countless times in the past. Of course, they’d been referring to school subjects and college applications and job prospects. Presumably, at no stage did they factor living skeletons and magic underworlds into their considerations. If they had, their advice would probably have been very different.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant