Shawn Thompson

“Motherfucker, you try that again and I'll come in there with a fucking coat hanger and give you something to fucking kick about”
― David Sedaris, Naked

“there's a reason regular people don't appear on TV: we're boring.”
― David Sedaris, Me Talk Pretty One Day

“I'd tried to straighten him out, but there's only so much you can do for a person who thinks Auschwitz is a brand of beer.”
― David Sedaris

“What are you, tap dancing up there? You want a put on a show, do you? Well, the theater's closed for the night. Take your act on the road; it's four o'clock in the morning,goddamnit.”
― David Sedaris, Naked