Ask the Author: Ruth Wariner
Answered Questions (17)
Ruth Wariner
Hi Pam, Somehow you ended up with an advanced reader copy of the book, which was a copy printed before the book was copy-edited and published. It should say that on the front of the book. It was an ARC meant for booksellers, librarians and other industry readers that we released for reviews. That was a mistake we corrected before the book was published in January, 2016, and released for the general public. Where did you find the copy? It's not supposed to be for sale, but thanks for reaching out to me to let me know. Ruth
Ruth Wariner
Hi Stacey,
Thank you so much for your thoughtful questions and kind words. It's an honor to hear from readers.
I've answered a few similar questions in a Q and A on my website: http://www.ruthwariner.com/for-readers/
Please let me know if you are still curious about anything after reading it.
It has always been my intention to write the next part of my story in a detailed, meaningful, powerful way with a more mature and reflective voice that will describe recovering from extreme fundamentalism and making my way as a single parent in a new country and culture. I'm so glad you're interested! Thank you again!
Thank you so much for your thoughtful questions and kind words. It's an honor to hear from readers.
I've answered a few similar questions in a Q and A on my website: http://www.ruthwariner.com/for-readers/
Please let me know if you are still curious about anything after reading it.
It has always been my intention to write the next part of my story in a detailed, meaningful, powerful way with a more mature and reflective voice that will describe recovering from extreme fundamentalism and making my way as a single parent in a new country and culture. I'm so glad you're interested! Thank you again!
Ruth Wariner
Hi Cherise, Thanks so much for your kind words. I am in touch with my family in LeBaron on FaceBook, but I rarely see them in person. I'm closest to my siblings from my mom. We all live in the Pacific Northwest and see each other all the time. I have a fun family! Thank you.
Ruth Wariner
Matthew and Diana in THE DISCOVERY OF WITCHES trilogy. There's something romantic about vampires and witches starting a family together. :)
Ruth Wariner
Hi Linda, I would be honored to join your book club. Thanks so much for choosing my memoir. I'll email you to work out the details. :)
Ruth Wariner
I feel incredibly blessed to be where I am in life today and really appreciate your kind words and encouragement. Thank you!
Ruth Wariner
Hi Anne,
Thank you so much for taking the time to read my memoir twice! :) Forgiving my mom has been a process for me, one that started with the understanding that forgiveness isn't excusing or rationalizing her behavior. It was more of an acceptance of who she was as I remember her - an incredibly kind and loving person who didn't have a lot of self love or a healthy sense of self esteem. We all make choices and live our lives according to our own self perceptions. As I matured, I realized my mom had chosen a man and a belief system that validated what she believed about herself, that she didn't deserve better, which is heartbreaking. I also didn't want my anger to destroy my life, and so I had to let it go. Prayer and therapy have both been instrumental in my ability to do that. I'm still recovering and letting my past go. My mom was so much more than her poor choices and her unhealthy emotions. She loved me, and I'm a much stronger and kinder person because of what she did right.
Thank You,
Ruth
Thank you so much for taking the time to read my memoir twice! :) Forgiving my mom has been a process for me, one that started with the understanding that forgiveness isn't excusing or rationalizing her behavior. It was more of an acceptance of who she was as I remember her - an incredibly kind and loving person who didn't have a lot of self love or a healthy sense of self esteem. We all make choices and live our lives according to our own self perceptions. As I matured, I realized my mom had chosen a man and a belief system that validated what she believed about herself, that she didn't deserve better, which is heartbreaking. I also didn't want my anger to destroy my life, and so I had to let it go. Prayer and therapy have both been instrumental in my ability to do that. I'm still recovering and letting my past go. My mom was so much more than her poor choices and her unhealthy emotions. She loved me, and I'm a much stronger and kinder person because of what she did right.
Thank You,
Ruth
Ruth Wariner
Thank you so much!
Ruth Wariner
Hi Jessica,
I'm in the process of transitioning careers right now and am no longer teaching. I did begin writing my memoir while I was still in the classroom, though, and I was concerned about how my colleagues and students might react. I wrote the story in a very personal way, and I thought that might hurt my relationships with them. I taught for eight years before I decided to make a change.
On the evening of my book launch, January 5, 2016, several of my former colleagues and students showed up for the signing, and I was incredibly touched by their support and encouragement. They were so, so excited for me and seemed proud of my accomplishment. I have since heard from several of them, and their response has been overwhelmingly positive. They've shared tidbits of their own heartbreaking stories with me. So far, it feels like they have been grateful for my vulnerability. Their reactions have helped make me thankful that I've had the opportunity to write and share my story.
I also wanted to add that I did talk with my family in depth about my writing, and I shared my manuscript with them before I approached a publisher. Because so much of the story is also theirs, I wanted to make sure they were OK with what I wrote. They were also very supportive.
When you decide to write and share your work, you'll probably have a good instinct about how you want to share it both personally and professionally. It really is a very personal decision.
Thank you for your thoughtful question and best of luck to you on your writing journey.
Ruth
I'm in the process of transitioning careers right now and am no longer teaching. I did begin writing my memoir while I was still in the classroom, though, and I was concerned about how my colleagues and students might react. I wrote the story in a very personal way, and I thought that might hurt my relationships with them. I taught for eight years before I decided to make a change.
On the evening of my book launch, January 5, 2016, several of my former colleagues and students showed up for the signing, and I was incredibly touched by their support and encouragement. They were so, so excited for me and seemed proud of my accomplishment. I have since heard from several of them, and their response has been overwhelmingly positive. They've shared tidbits of their own heartbreaking stories with me. So far, it feels like they have been grateful for my vulnerability. Their reactions have helped make me thankful that I've had the opportunity to write and share my story.
I also wanted to add that I did talk with my family in depth about my writing, and I shared my manuscript with them before I approached a publisher. Because so much of the story is also theirs, I wanted to make sure they were OK with what I wrote. They were also very supportive.
When you decide to write and share your work, you'll probably have a good instinct about how you want to share it both personally and professionally. It really is a very personal decision.
Thank you for your thoughtful question and best of luck to you on your writing journey.
Ruth
Ruth Wariner
Hi Phyllis, My husband Alan is a monogamist. He was raised Catholic. Thanks for asking and giving me the chance to clarify.
Ruth Wariner
Hello Hannah,
I'm so glad you found healing in reading my memoir. There were so many memories that were hard to revisit and write. I often had to step away from the page and take long breaks. Ultimately, though, I found tremendous relief and healing in writing and sharing my story. I'm happy it found its way to you, and I'm thankful that it touched you so deeply.
Thank you for your kind words.
Ruth
I'm so glad you found healing in reading my memoir. There were so many memories that were hard to revisit and write. I often had to step away from the page and take long breaks. Ultimately, though, I found tremendous relief and healing in writing and sharing my story. I'm happy it found its way to you, and I'm thankful that it touched you so deeply.
Thank you for your kind words.
Ruth
Ruth Wariner
Hi Fran,
Yes. I definitely plan to write the next chapter of my life. I feel incredibly blessed to have had the time and opportunity to write and share the story of my early childhood, and I think the next part of my life is also an important one to tell. I'm grateful my siblings and I were able to stay together and are still close after everything we experienced in LeBaron. The life I live now was worth the time, the work and the hard choices I made to get here, for sure.
My editor and I worked on a Q and A for readers who have finished THE SOUND OF GRAVEL. Here is the link to that page on my website if you're interested in knowing more about what happened next: http://www.ruthwariner.com/for-readers/
Thank you for taking the time to read my memoir and for reaching out to me. I appreciate your kind words.
Ruth
Yes. I definitely plan to write the next chapter of my life. I feel incredibly blessed to have had the time and opportunity to write and share the story of my early childhood, and I think the next part of my life is also an important one to tell. I'm grateful my siblings and I were able to stay together and are still close after everything we experienced in LeBaron. The life I live now was worth the time, the work and the hard choices I made to get here, for sure.
My editor and I worked on a Q and A for readers who have finished THE SOUND OF GRAVEL. Here is the link to that page on my website if you're interested in knowing more about what happened next: http://www.ruthwariner.com/for-readers/
Thank you for taking the time to read my memoir and for reaching out to me. I appreciate your kind words.
Ruth
Ruth Wariner
Ruthie, Congratulations and being a strong survivor and for choosing to thrive in spite of your past. I believe it's so important to know that we deserve a fabulous life and that we can grow stronger than our situations and circumstances. Understanding our own strength and ability to learn and grow keeps up from being a perpetual victim. Thank you for taking the time to read my memoir. I appreciate your kind words. ONWARD!
Ruth Wariner
Jim, Congratulations on reading three books this year already! Thank you for making my memoir one of your early choices. I really appreciate your thoughtful feedback. Writing so many details about my siblings really helped me appreciate them, and the close relationships I still have with my mom's children. We've been pretty lucky, and your note has inspired me to reach out to them more often and spend more time with them. Thank you!
Ruth Wariner
I remember the moment I started thinking about writing my story clearly. It was in 1995, and I was twenty-three years old. I was having lunch at a Burger King one afternoon with my three youngest sisters, Elena, Leah and Holly, who were twelve, ten and eight at the time. We were living in Grants Pass, Oregon, and eating our lunch that we'd ordered from the dollar menu when Leah asked me out of the blue, "So what happened to our mom anyway?" I was stunned by the question and suddenly realized that I had never told my sisters the story of what had happened to our mother when they were just toddlers. We were all crying over our unfinished cheeseburgers by the time I stopped talking, and my little sisters were in shock.
That was when I began thinking about writing our story. To tell them about the mother they would never remember or know the way I had. After I finished graduate school and started teaching, I also began taking memoir and creative nonfiction writing classes after work. My sisters were grown by then and had moved out of my apartment. But still, I wanted them to know who our mother was, at least as I had known her, where we had come from and why we had to run away and grow up without parents.
That was when I began thinking about writing our story. To tell them about the mother they would never remember or know the way I had. After I finished graduate school and started teaching, I also began taking memoir and creative nonfiction writing classes after work. My sisters were grown by then and had moved out of my apartment. But still, I wanted them to know who our mother was, at least as I had known her, where we had come from and why we had to run away and grow up without parents.
Ruth Wariner
Hi There,
I spent several years writing THE SOUND OF GRAVEL. It was an incredibly healing experience. There were times when I had to get up and leave my computer for hours or a few days after I wrote difficult scenes. I learned to nurture and take care of myself while I revisited both my joyful and difficult memories. It took a great deal of patience and perseverance. Thank you! Ruth
I spent several years writing THE SOUND OF GRAVEL. It was an incredibly healing experience. There were times when I had to get up and leave my computer for hours or a few days after I wrote difficult scenes. I learned to nurture and take care of myself while I revisited both my joyful and difficult memories. It took a great deal of patience and perseverance. Thank you! Ruth
Ruth Wariner
Yes! I'm happy to announce my January tour schedule has just been posted: http://ruthwariner.com/events/ I'll be in Portland, Seattle, San Francisco, LA, and San Diego. Hope you can make it!
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