Lijia Zhang's Blog

Documentary Mistress Dispeller
What would you do if you discovered your husband was having an affair with a younger woman? Burst into tears? Threaten to fling yourself from the balcony? Give him—or her—a good thrashing? No, no, far too vulgar. The refined option is to call in a professional: the mistress dispeller, a woman who makes it her business to separate straying husbands from their paramours and, if all goes well, restore harmony at home.
When I heard about this new documentary from China, I was immediately intrigued. I went to see it yesterday. After all, this is a subject rather close to my heart. Some years ago, a BBC producer asked me to present a radio documentary on the very topic. I even managed to find a few women willing to talk, provided their names were changed. But the producer, following the BBC guideline, insisted on real names. The women promptly vanished. Who could blame them?
I myself was once the casualty of an extra-marital affair. Alas, no mistress dispeller came to my rescue, nor would I have summoned one, had such a profession existed in China twenty years ago. I had believed I was living in the most beautiful love story, and once it was stained, I chose to let it go. Time worked its peculiar alchemy: now, the three of us are all friends.
The documentary, I must say, left me deeply impressed. Mrs. Li, a housewife in her forties, discovers her husband, a businessman, is entangled with Feifei, a much younger frozen-food delivery worker. To save her family—and their sweet, well-mannered daughter—she turns to Miss Wang, respectfully called “Teacher Wang.” Wang insinuates herself into the lives of husband and mistress, and with patience, tact, and no small dose of charm, convinces them separately to give up the affair. A happy ending, tied up neatly like a dumpling.
What struck me most was the sympathetic lens cast on all three characters: the wronged wife, the errant husband, and even the so-called “little third.” As I watched, I couldn’t help but wonder: how on earth did director Elizabeth Lo persuade them to appear on camera, particularly Mr. Li and young Feifei? If Feifei truly delivers frozen food for a living, what could she possibly have gained from taking part? After all, being a mistress—though as common as spitting on the street—remains deeply stigmatized in China.
Part of me thinks the story could blossom even further as a feature film, one that dives more deeply into the turbulent feelings of everyone involved. Still, as it stands, the documentary is thoughtful, compassionate, and highly entertaining. Well worth every penny of the ticket price. Here’s an excellent piece in The Guardian about it:
https://www.theguardian.com/film/2025/aug/21/husband-affair-chinas-mistress-dispeller

Choral Evensong at St. Paul’s
St. Paul’s Cathedral, one of London’s most iconic landmarks, is also one of my favourite churches in the world. Designed by Sir Christopher Wren and completed in 1710 after the Great Fire of London destroyed its medieval predecessor, it remains an active Anglican cathedral and the seat of the Bishop of London.
I love to attend the full-choir service on Sunday afternoons. There is something almost otherworldly about standing beneath the great dome—Wren’s masterpiece, inspired by St. Peter’s Basilica in Rome—while the voices of the choir rise and fall, filling the vast space. The music floats upward and lingers. All around, shimmering mosaics and luminous paintings seem to catch the sound and hold it in their silence.
For me, an avowed atheist, this is perhaps the closest I come to a religious experience: not faith, but awe, the sense of being lifted momentarily beyond the ordinary by beauty.

What fun! A Midsummer Night’s Dream at the Bridge Theatre.
Directed by Nicholas Hytner, this bold revival returns after its 2019 debut with renewed verve. The theatre becomes a moonlit forest, half real, half enchanted, where the action tumbles across a central pit: some of it on stage, some weaving through the crowd, and some—most thrillingly—dangling upside down on ropes above our heads.
The friend who suggested the outing urged me to buy standing tickets. I failed to see the appeal. Besides, by the time I finally went online, all the standing places were long gone. Only later did I discover why they are coveted: those lucky souls stand right in the thick of things, brushing shoulders with fairies and lovers, swept along in the immersive magic.
We, meanwhile, were perched in our “proper” seats high above. But there was compensation: from that lofty vantage point we caught dazzling shots of Puck and company soaring through the air like acrobats at a midsummer circus. Go and see it while you can—the spell won’t last forever!

China’s marriage rate fell to a historic low last year, with just over 6.1 million marriages registered—a sharp drop from the previous year and the lowest figure since records began in 1986. Here’s an excellent piece by The Guardian’s China correspondent, Amy Hawkins, on dating trends and the declining marriage rate in China. I’m quoted in the article, though of course I said far more during our conversation. My favorite line, in fact, is this: “Love is not out of fashion, but marriage has lost its urgency.”
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2025/aug/16/china-granny-wang-dating-show-marriage-rates?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

The Edinburgh International Book Festival (EIBF)
I’ve just returned from the Edinburgh International Book Festival, that annual jamboree of words where authors, poets, journalists, and thinkers descend upon Scotland’s capital like migrating birds—each with a book to launch, a tale to tell, or at the very least, an opinion to share. Founded in 1983, it has grown into one of the world’s largest celebrations of the written word, tucked neatly into August alongside Edinburgh’s other festivals of music, theatre, and general merriment.
My own purpose there was to interview the brilliant Barbara Demick on stage about her latest book, Daughters of the Bamboo Grove, a riveting tale of twins torn apart, one left in China, the other stolen and later adopted by an American family. It’s a story that has everything: politics, tragedy, identity, and the kind of human drama that makes readers miss their bus stop.
Alas, I have no photos from our session, though there are a few from the festival at large, proving at least that I was in Edinburgh. You’ll have to take my word that the event went beautifully. Barbara’s gift for language shone, and the slides she prepared gave the audience a vivid window into the story.
It was also such fun to hang out with old friends such as Bee Rowlatt, Amitav Ghosh, his wife Deborah Baker who launched her brilliant book Charlottesville: An American Story.

Founded in 1670 as a physic garden for medicinal plants, the Royal Botanic Garden Edinburgh (RBGE) is one of the oldest in the world. Spanning about 70 acres just a mile from the city centre, it serves both as a leading scientific research institution and as a lush public sanctuary.
While in Edinburgh, my lovely Japanese friend Yuka took me there. I especially enjoyed the Rock Garden — a beautifully contoured slope of alpine plants and cascading streams — and the displays of Scottish native flora, including the delicate Scottish bluebell. To my delight, I also discovered the Chinese Hillside: a tranquil landscape showcasing rare plants from China.

Pittenweem
My old friends Jo and Alistair live in Pittenweem, perched prettily on the coast of the North Sea. Whenever I, innocently enough, refer to it as a “village” — and it does have that villagey charm, with its narrow lanes and weathered cottages — I am swiftly corrected: “Royal Burgh,” they remind me, with just the faintest whiff of civic pride. Titles aside, it is a delightful seafront place, and their home, a Dutch-style beauty built in the 18th century, sits mere metres from the marina. Lucky them, to wake each morning to that shifting seascape.
And lucky me, to stay with them. Jo, though now wheelchair-bound, is as jolly and irrepressibly positive as ever. Assisted by her devoted Alistair, she somehow conjured up a feast last night worthy of a professional chef. The dinner party included a couple from the “burgh,” and I adored every dish. Taking the hint, or perhaps just being hopelessly generous, Jo and Alistair packed me a leftover banquet for my train journey back to London. Few things say friendship quite like a carefully wrapped Tupperware of love.
I’m already looking forward to returning next year. There’s more of Scotland calling to me — its windswept coasts, its storybook towns, and, of course, the lure of another Pittenweem feast.

I’ve always thought of Edinburgh, the capital of Scotland, as both charming and dramatic. Edinburgh Castle crowns Castle Rock, looking out over the city with timeless authority. The city itself is full of striking contrasts: an elegant blend of medieval Old Town, Georgian New Town, and the green hills that frame it. Built across a series of hills, it offers breathtaking vistas at every turn. Known for its rich history, literary heritage, and festivals, Edinburgh has been a UNESCO World Heritage Site since 1995.
My only complaint? The crowds — especially now, when four different festivals are in full swing: the Book Festival (which brought me here), the Fringe, a film festival, and more. The Royal Mile is a scene of 人山人海 — “people mountain, people sea.” Still, it’s a great city, and one of my favourites in Europe.

Cuban jazz at the Jazz Café in Camden
What fun! The place was alive with energy, the rhythms pulsing through the crowd, impossible not to sway along, even me who simply can’t dance. The music was so vibrant, so full of life, it instantly transported me back to the unforgettable days I spent in Cuba a few years ago, just before COVID—warm nights, street bands spilling their melodies into the air, and that irresistible sense that music and joy were inseparable.

Since the modest success of my memoir, I’ve been interviewed a fair amount by the media. Sometimes I perform well; other times, less so. This week, I did an interview with Reino Gever, a brilliant writer, mentor, and public speaker, who hosts a podcast called Living To Be, which inspires listeners to embrace their authentic selves. For whatever reason, I don’t feel it was my finest performance. If you have any ideas or suggestions, I’d love to hear them. https://youtu.be/unjcOl_APps?si=V1mYSVsrMVZ-4EAd
https://podcasts.apple.com/de/podcast/living-to-be-a-podcast-by-reino-gevers/id1555111254?i=1000720714624 a podcast aimed to inspire you to become your authentic self