Sarah Mensinga's Blog

I’m excited to announce that my new novel, Shimmerdark, is now available! Shimmerdark is a YA steampunk(ish) fantasy adventure about a girl who just wants her magical job back. At its core, it’s about dealing with disappointment and realizing that sometimes when we fail, trying harder isn’t going to change anything—but embracing a new path might. Here’s a mini-comic I made to introduce everyone to the main character, Xylia…

If you enjoy fantasy stories about complex female characters, like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and stories with unique worldbuilding, like Avatar the Last Airbender & Howl’s Moving Castle, then I think you’ll enjoy this book.

For the first week, the ebook will be on sale for 99 cents as well!

I used to say I’d never post pictures of my kids on my website… but this little baby has transformed into an entirely different-looking eleven-year-old, so I think it’s okay.

When I first imagined being a mom, I pictured myself in a bustling city wearing a baby carrier. I’d be walking along a street full of cool artsy shops and maybe going to an interview or visiting an art studio. My baby, of course, was happy or maybe even asleep, and aside from toting around a new little person, my life hadn’t changed much.

Any parent reading this is probably eye-rolling hard, because of course having children changed everything. And in many ways, those changes were wonderful and positive, and do I ever love my kids. Yet another big change was that I no longer had any free time. As a new mom, I quickly realized that even when my baby wasn’t hungry, tired, or dirty, she still needed attention—she was a tiny human who got bored. And unless she was sleeping, I wasn’t going to get any work done. And when she was sleeping, did I want to work? Or did I want to shower, eat uninterrupted meals, talk to another adult (hello, husband!), or sleep? Work quickly slid to the bottom of my to-do list—which was painful because I’d truly loved my job. And as a freelance artist with an unpredictable workflow, paying for childcare didn’t seem like a realistic option. I also had the strong sense that my eldest child would be miserable in childcare, and although at the time I couldn’t articulate why, she was later diagnosed with autism.

I started turning down jobs I’d otherwise jump at, and worse, backing out of jobs I’d optimistically committed to. I started shelving personal projects (see the Wellington Division). I felt flakey. I felt opportunities passing me by. I loved being a parent, but at the same time, I felt like a failure as a creative professional.

I write this because if you are a young parent of small children and you feel like in the whirlwind of toys, little voices, and baby snuggles, your beloved career is slipping away, I understand. And I also hope I can assure you it gets better. Kids grow older and more independent, and that changes everything all over again. My kids are now eight, eleven, and nearly thirteen, and I’m slowly building my career back up as an illustrator and getting more confident as an indie author, and even though I’ll probably never have the same career trajectory I had in my twenties, I’m also not that person anymore. I’ve found a path for who I am now, and I’m not entirely sure where it’s leading, and I kind of like that.

I also thought my experience as a young parent would be a good subject for my first blog post because these feelings were also the foundation for my upcoming novel, Shimmerdark. I started writing it when my children were much younger, and the core idea came to me during a time when I felt particularly discouraged career-wise. The main character, Xylia, isn’t a parent—she’s a magic-wielding fifteen-year-old who fights monsters—but she has a professional door slam close in her life. For a long time, she tries to force it back open, but eventually, she realizes there are other doors. I’ve found another door for me, and I hope all young parents out there who need to find new doors, will find them too.

I’m hoping to post frequently, so be sure to check back. Or feel free to sign up for my mailing list… which I have yet to mail anything out to, but I plan to! Until then… as the characters in Shimmerdark would say, Good Moonlight.