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Rob  Johnson

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Bobbie
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Rob Johnson

Goodreads Author


Born
Tonbridge, Kent, The United Kingdom
Website

Twitter

Genre

Influences

Member Since
October 2008

URL


‘You’ll have to write an author biography of course.’
‘Oh? Why?’
‘Because people will want to know something about you before they lash out on buying one of your books.’
‘You think so, do you?’
‘Just do it, okay?’
‘So what do I tell them?’
‘For a start, you should mention that you’ve written four plays that were professionally produced and toured throughout the UK.’
‘Should I say anything about all the temp jobs I had, like working in the towels and linens stockroom at Debenhams or as a fitter’s mate in a perfume factory?’
‘No, definitely not.’
‘Motorcycle dispatch rider?’
‘You were sacked, weren’t you?’
‘Boss said he could get a truck there quicker.’
‘Leave it out then, but make sure they know that Grave Expectations is the eighth book you’ve written.
...more

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Rob Johnson Hi James. Thanks for the question and also many thanks for your fantastic review of ‘Cremains’, although I’m afraid I might have to disillusion you. I…moreHi James. Thanks for the question and also many thanks for your fantastic review of ‘Cremains’, although I’m afraid I might have to disillusion you. I’d love to be able to sit at my desk busting my guts laughing at what I was writing, but that’s never actually happened. Occasionally, I’ll have a bit of a chuckle at some gags that I’m particularly pleased with, but that’s about it really.

Often, I’m not even sure whether something I’ve written is funny or not, so I have to run it past my wife Penny to see if she laughs or not. I’ve even been known to hide round the corner and listen out for the number of times she laughs (or doesn’t). Actually, she cottoned onto that a while ago and makes me move well out of earshot while she’s reading.

Having written for the theatre years ago, I was amazed at how different audiences reacted to the lines that were supposed to be funny. Sometimes there was utter silence, and other times they laughed their socks off. As for the novels, I can only rely on reviews such as yours to tell me if what I’ve written is funny or not, and reviews can range from “I didn’t even raise a smile” to “Laughed out loud till my scrotum split” (which was a genuine review of ‘Quest for the Holey Snail’).

Anyway, I’ve rambled on long enough, and since brevity is supposed to be the soul of wit, I’ll shut up now. I’m sorry if I’ve shattered an illusion for you, but as W.C.Fields once said, “Comedy is a serious business.”

Many thanks again for your great review, and even though I don’t often laugh at what I’ve written myself, it’s always a massive boost to hear when the opposite is true of my readers!

All the best, and I hope you get as many laughs out of my other books if you get round to reading them.

Rob (less)
Average rating: 3.98 · 4,240 ratings · 227 reviews · 12 distinct worksSimilar authors
Lifting the Lid (Lifting th...

3.79 avg rating — 1,191 ratings — published 2013 — 8 editions
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Heads You Lose (Lifting the...

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Cremains (Cremains #1)

3.95 avg rating — 593 ratings2 editions
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Dishing the Dirt (Lifting t...

4.21 avg rating — 479 ratings3 editions
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A Kilo of String

3.88 avg rating — 497 ratings4 editions
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The Undertaking (Cremains #2)

4.23 avg rating — 449 ratings2 editions
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Quest for the Holey Snail

3.76 avg rating — 286 ratings2 editions
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Grave Expectations (Cremain...

4.20 avg rating — 83 ratings2 editions
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Lifting the Lid Comedy Thri...

4.34 avg rating — 32 ratings
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Lifting the Lid: A Comedy T...

0.00 avg rating — 0 ratings2 editions
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More books by Rob Johnson…

‘Cremains’ series – All three ebooks on offer today

TODAY ONLY: All three ebooks in the ‘Cremains’ comedy caper series are on special offer. 99p in the UK. Click here to view/buy
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Lifting the Lid Heads You Lose Dishing the Dirt
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3.98 avg rating — 2,250 ratings

Cremains The Undertaking Grave Expectations
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Rob’s Recent Updates

Rob Johnson wrote a new blog post

‘Cremains’ series – All three ebooks on offer today

TODAY ONLY: All three ebooks in the ‘Cremains’ comedy caper series are on special offer. 99p in the UK. Click here to view/buy
Quest for the Holey Snail by Rob  Johnson
"Beautifully daft genius

Loved it & made me long for my old smoking circles of the 80s & 90s.
Also made me want to purchase a Swiss Army knife for some bizarre reason "
Rob Johnson made a comment in the group Goodreads Librarians GroupPlease add book to series topic
" Emmy wrote: "This request does not involve the adding of new books/new editions to the Goodreads database, so it is in the wrong folder..
See Where sho
...more "
Rob Johnson made a comment in the group Goodreads Librarians GroupWrong book details topic
" Hello.

This book is correctly on my author profile, but the details are incomplete. When I try to edit these, I'm told there is already a book (the cor
...more "
" Thank you. "
" Back atcha! :-) "
Cremains by Rob  Johnson
"Page turner, wow, didn't expect that!

I didn't know what to expect when I first checked out this book. I just wanted something to read before bed to help me sleep.

The first night, I was tired and that's what happened.

The second night, I start getting " Read more of this review »
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Quotes by Rob Johnson  (?)
Quotes are added by the Goodreads community and are not verified by Goodreads. (Learn more)

“There are some things people see in toilets that they wish they hadn’t. What Trevor Hawkins sees might even cost him his life.”
Rob Johnson, Lifting the Lid

“Love the dog dearly as he did, Trevor was well aware that she was what might be called “a free spirit” or, more accurately, a dog that was utterly unresponsive to any form of training, however hard he’d tried.”
Rob Johnson, Dishing the Dirt

“mostly to the Richter Scale grumblings from his empty stomach.”
Rob Johnson, Lifting the Lid

Topics Mentioning This Author

topics posts views last activity  
Goodreads Librari...: Wrong author 3 13 May 30, 2015 01:12PM  
Goodreads Librari...: Two books not written by me 3 14 Nov 08, 2015 10:53AM  
Goodreads Librari...: Book not written by me 3 14 Nov 09, 2015 03:06AM  
Making Connections: 4322. - QUEST FOR THE HOLEY SNAIL by Rob Johnson 1 15 Apr 27, 2016 03:40PM  
2025 Reading Chal...: Serial Reader - 2022 688 646 Jan 10, 2023 01:33AM  
Goodreads Librari...: Please add this book to my profile 3 6 Mar 27, 2023 08:19AM  
2025 Reading Chal...: Serial Reader - 2023 695 653 Jan 22, 2024 06:47PM  
Book title game 17042 5042 Jul 28, 2024 07:30AM  
“My most important piece of advice to all you would-be writers: When you write, try to leave out all the parts readers skip.”
Elmore Leonard, Elmore Leonard's 10 Rules of Writing

“If it sounds like writing, I rewrite it.”
Elmore Leonard, Elmore Leonard's 10 Rules of Writing

“There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.”
W. Somerset Maugham

“There are some things people see in toilets that they wish they hadn’t. What Trevor Hawkins sees might even cost him his life.”
Rob Johnson, Lifting the Lid

“There is no rule on how to write. Sometimes it comes easily and perfectly; sometimes it's like drilling rock and then blasting it out with charges.”
Ernest Hemingway

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