Ufuoma Apoki's Blog - Posts Tagged "unrequited-love"

Ufuoma Apoki

I want to be mad at you,
But I just can’t.
I try so hard to find every reason to be,
But the innocence of your voice . . .
Oh my!
It makes me fail miserably each time I make up reasons to be mad
It just melts every trace of anger

I want to be there for you,
But I just don’t know how.
I know you need one like me,
Not because it'll probably bless me more (for now)
I just feel it strongly that I could be strong for you.

Any and every time I reach out to feel my heart,
It beats only for YOU.
I've warned it not to,
That in this way it’s going to get scarred badly,
Because no one has touched it like you have . . .
Yet still, it decides to do its own bidding.

. . .

And so I ‘let’ it most of the time,
To drive my whole being so it’ll see the errors of its ways.
But still,
The heart wants what it wants,
And no amount of logic convinces it otherwise.

But right now, I need a fix so desperately,
Because the heart isn’t getting what it wants,
And it's taking every other part in downright agony
With its incessant and (I must confess) naturally innocent yearnings.

I need to teach my heart,
To learn to beat for ME first,
Before it can learn to beat for two rightly.
So I'll have to resort to logic to fix me,
Beyond the beautiful heart’s wishes,
Because the heart seems to be getting it all wrongly.
Who knows?

So what I need now is space,
Not because I admire the uncertainty that voyagers face there,
But space from You to fix Me,
No matter how much it’s going to hurt.

When I’m done fixing my heart,
It’s going to beat right enough,
To know how to beat for two,
Not just for You alone,
And probably get what it so years for.