Mirette Baghat's Blog

I never thought I was a violent person by nature, until all the problems started back at work because of different cultures and misunderstandings and different communications styles. I went to my new workplace (a new position with a more multicultural taste,) with the assumption that Europeans will always discriminate against those from the "Global South." It was indeed a self-fulfilling prophecy because I misinterpreted any word or action from a white person into an act of discrimination, and was on guard most of the time. This made me act aggressively a lot of times where- even if there was a mistake from the other side- I could have acted more civilized and compassionately. Hate breeds hate and it's truly a vicious cycle that leaves me depleted. Some key learning lessons for me:

- Love wins. Even if someone treats you bad, you could get your point across without sounding hateful or harsh. That way you'll be perceived as more mature and peaceful, yet firm.

- Don't gossip! Badmouthing doesn't solve problems, it only makes them worse. And words soon turn into action. Be really slow in anger and let it simmer before you take action.

- Build bridges. Do an effort to put yourself in others shoes and understand where they are coming from and how they are thinking and what makes them behave the way they do. It'll make a big difference to do so.

- And last but not least, focus! focus on what's important, the mission at hand. And when people share the same mission, they forget about the disagreements they once had. 

It's been a week now since receiving my Reiki achievements. I'm going through a spiritual, mental, and physical shift. I started noticing the clutter in my life (whether in emotions, or words coming out of my mouth, or thoughts) and how much I'm in need for a series decluttering. This might mean that I need to speak less, focus, do more meditation, and watch my food consumption.

But I feel so equipped as well to do so. Those hands vibrating with lively energy are becoming my best therapist. The first thing I do when I wake up is to pour energy to my chakras which feels so good like working out in the morning and feeling the blood rushing all over your body. I'm starting to have a more positive and vibrant outlook at life, becoming more sensitive to the subtle changes in my body and around me.

Talking about and giving Reiki to others make me more aware of my connection to all beings around me. It also made me realize how afraid people are to ask for help, even when they needed. Since giving reiki entails coming closer-- physically and emotionally-- it takes courage from both the giver and the taker to cross those boundaries, and for their energies to unite. A very powerful experience.

Reiki is offering me to do some major decluttering as I said before, something I know won't be comfortable but will bring in more peace and mindfulness in my life. I'll post the progress here. 

I've had few experiences in my life that I can call transformative. It's the kind of experiences that open your eyes to a new perspective in life you weren't aware of before. One of these experiences was getting introduced to the ancient Eastern belief system that we are all connected to a limitless field of Universal Energy. It resonated with my deep christian belief system that all beings come from one source of life (the breath of God as we call it in Christianity.) That we aren't separate beings as we think we are.

How did that change my life? Well, when I started learning about the Dhammakaya meditation back in 2015 in a buddhist temple in Thailand, I felt as if my body was unlocked to that immense flow of pure energy of love, compassion and connection with all beings. It made me see God in a different light, feeling more connected to that superior being, that I'm not just a lump of flesh. Those who practice meditation know how it feels to suddenly have that energy flowing into the once locked and drained energy channels and zones (or chakras) in your bodies. It's like a failing lung suddenly recovering and drawing in its first breath of oxygen, or a gush of blood in a once blocked artery.

Now, a few days ago, I finally took the Reiki class I've been wanting to attend for so many years. I was first introduced to Reiki through a friend who I went to whenever I had a migraine and it helped me a lot to ease up the body (you get this feeling of immense peace as if coated with an unseen layer of energy.) After taking the class, I'm not sure if I can describe the experience (without sounding too new agey!) but it was heavenly. Our Reiki master, Steve Gooch, attuned our body to a higher frequency of energy, which you can suddenly feel in your body (yet it has a soft presence, not an overwhelming one.) And that feeling of energy flow you wait to reach after 30 minutes or so of meditation you reach in an instant through placing the palms of your hands (which now emanates higher frequency of energy) on your seven energy spots (crown, third eye, throat, heart, naval, sacral, and root) to stimulate the flow of energy.

Unlike the acupuncture, which stimulates the flow of energy only internally from one part to another in the body, the Reiki system draws energy from the abundant Universal Energy field that is always accessible. It's like an ocean of pure water, and the hands in that case acts as a pipeline connecting the ocean to the energy spots.

The only thing I can say for now that it's an amazing ancient knowledge of wisdom. It has its roots in all religions (for those who open their eyes and see beyond the written and the heard.) and it took my life to a whole new level.

I am grateful! :) 

I wrote in the previous post about feeling trapped in the cycle of negativity- 24/7 complaining and bitching about life; no one is good enough; nothing is satisfying. And the more you talk it, the more it manifests yourself into your life, and the more your eyes are trained to see only the bad.

Until I hit the pit and realized that I've become the most negative pessimistic version of myself-- nothing is ever good for me. At that moment I stopped and started thinking where things got wrong. It wasn't about the conditions of life, because I was in worse conditions before, yet I used to be more passionate and optimistic. It was truly about my mindset and the new "nothing is good enough" attitude that I've adopted.

One piece of advice I would give is: pay very close attention to your surroundings. Being in an environment where people talk negatively all the time can have its toll on you. Try to protect yourself, filtering what goes through to your mind and heart.

And above all, love always wins. Love everyone and be merciful to everyone, even those who are different, or less smarter, or less cooler than you are. Accept them, and help them to meet their better version. Remember that someone once helped you, and it's time to pay back.

And live, live the fullness of life. It is a decision to adopt a positive mindset in life, even when everything is going wrong.

Namaste! :) 

I've noticed lately that I was losing my joy in life, my ability to be satisfied and grateful. Although life has been treating me good lately, giving me everything I've been dreaming of, I wasn't able to enjoy that, to actually feel gratitude. I got stuck in this vicious circle of complaining-- complaining about life, the country, the stupidity of people around me, the futility of it all. As if nothing is enough, nothing is incomplete.

And yesterday, I felt I've had enough and decided to reflect on this. I noticed that my brain was rewired to repeat what everyone around me is saying every single day: life is crap. people are crap. This wave of darkness and hopeless worldview took strong hold of me and influenced my attitude towards life, those around me, and myself.

And now, I decided to rewire my brain back to my more natural worldview. The one that God gave me a long time ago-- one that believed in the beauty of life and creatures, in the inherent goodness of people despite the evil, in our strength as God's light in the world, that actions speak stronger than words.

I'll be more watchful of my mindset from now on. 

Sometimes I struggle to find meaning in life. Yes, I wake up everyday, go to to work, do stuffs I like, but I keep asking myself if I'm going anywhere or simply wasting time. I'm not taking about goals, but rather a bigger purpose in life, something I live for. Before, I used to try so hard not to give in. But now, it seems that my energy is running out slowly.

I feel so disconnected from everything around me-- from myself, the people, it's like being in a cocoon. And everything starts to feel cold and dull. Even the things that I once enjoyed slowly lose their glamour.

Anyway, I'm still determined to get back to my mindful life, where I felt more connected and in harmony with the being.

And my first action will be: complain less, thank more.

I'll keep this space updated. 

Banksy-Waiting in Vain

Nothing harder than catching a glimpse of freedom only to be snatched away from you; knowing what peace of mind is before falling into waves of turbulence; tasting passionate love before landing into a desert of nothingness.

Nothing like knowledge-- the knowledge of having, of being.

Nothing like incomplete revolutions.

Nothing like a broken clock.

I still dream of the freedom I once tasted in this country. I still dream of the peaceful me, that carefree soul who once believed in love. I still dream of love. That love that turned out to be anything but love.

I still dream of everything I once had, I once was.

I still dream of a complete revolution. 

For some time, I stopped writing because I thought "well, mindfulness is too much work and life will be always the same shit." this is how I thought, until a week ago, when I realized that a very important relationship in my life was crumbling because all what I was thinking of in this relationship was myself.

Too many expectations, I'm expecting you to show care, to call, to ask, to offer...too many expectations that I don't enjoy what is actually being offered because I'm waiting on what I have in my mind. I want it THIS WAY. And of course, when the other person doesn't feel appreciated for what he is doing, that he can't give enough to satisfy me, he stops and gives up.

Both of us are looking for the "safe space" in each other where we forget all the pain and hurt we've been through in life. Yet, both of us are coming to this space with a baggage, a heavy weight that will only fall hard on the other person's shoulder; so we keep throwing and throwing until we realize that the "Safe space" is gradually turning into the same "viscous abusive cycle" we've been trapped in in past relationships.

And this is where I stopped recently to ask myself "what went wrong?" how did the love turn into a weakness? when did the ego come in our way so that instead of enjoying each other's presence, we keep thinking of "who is to blame?" as if we're enemies, not lovers.

This happens over and over again-- in love relationships, in friendships, in family relations...everywhere.


Today, I woke and realized I haven't been practicing mindfulness in my life in general, and maybe this is why my ego is popping up strong and sharp. I have some practices in my mind that I need to explore in my life in general when it comes to relationships and will be reflecting on them here.


The first thing I did today was to say "I am sorry." Even if deep inside I don't believe I did a mistake. I am sorry for the pain and the hurt and the ego trying to prove it's always right. Apology mends the broken heart cause it's always coming from a place of love, of appreciation, of repentance.


Namaste... 

Some place kill you and some other places bring you back to life...

These days I keep hearing this phrase from friends "it's time to move on." and when I ask them what signs they received to know it is about time, the answer is usually "I just feel stuck in a place/life where I don't belong anymore."

We all get that feeling of stuckness every once in a while. It usually starts with a sense of heaviness, lack of excitement, sheer boredom, and a lot of daydreaming; only to end with a complete sense of burnout that even the weekend retreat to the beach can't cure. Some people can live in that state for years while others can't stand the faintest smell of it.

Well, I'm one of those people who can take anything in life but the feeling of being stuck in life. I've always saw the world as big and wide with so many possibilities to endure living in a pit where I don't belong. Yet, moving on isn't always that easy. It takes a hell of planning, knocking all the doors, coping with uncertainties, and persistence. Besides, it's not always easy to determine whether the stuckness is internal or external (yup, maybe it's the inside that needs to change baby!)

One thing that have always helped me to make decision when I feel stuck is to stay still, sometimes for hours, sometimes for days, and one time in my life I had to stay still for a year to receive some signs (that was in 2015 when I took a year off from work and was ready, come what may.) Stillness is the opposite of overthinking or over planning that may confuse your already overburdened mind.

Just make sure that you are ready to receive whatever signs with an open heart and mind. Yes, we all question and test our decisions, yet the apparently insane decisions have often proved to be the life changing ones.

Cheers to moving on!

I stopped writing in this blog for sometime because I’ve put aside mindful living. The reason for this is that life got crazy, my mind got busy, and I slowly drifted away from the mindful living into the dreadful rollercoaster of life. At first, right after I finished my career break and got back to the daily hustle and bustle of usual business, I promised myself that I would continue the mindful lifestyle- being aware of every move, every word, and every thought. That meant that I had to protect that mindful territory of mine, sometimes by taking radical measures such as cutting down the socialization or taking weekend breaks in total isolation. Gradually, life pushed me back into the easier route— the one where you do what others are doing and saying what others will be happy hearing. See, it usually about is peer pressure to act unmindful and unconscious as everybody else around you.
Today was one of those few days where I woke up with nothing much to do, yet I felt that noise in my head caused by unending waves of thoughts and emotional burden. I wanted to run away from it and tried the usual gimmicks— eating, opening my pc and scrolling mindlessly through the rattles on my FB page, checking my do list to see what I need to do today, or trying to sleep— yet nothing of all of this made any difference, actually they only deepened my exhaustion and restlessness. Yet, suddenly I remembered the times where I started my day by meditation— a habit that always brought peacefulness and focus to my mind and body. For some reason, when my life gets so crazy and I’m in the most need for this practice, it seems faraway and unattainable. It’s like when you become unfit and you know the solution is exercising, yet being unfit makes it harder to exercise— a vicious cycle it is. 
But today I had no choice but to make peace with it. I was feeling drained and had no other option. I sat on my little pillow on the floor and closed my eyes. At first, the waves of thoughts and scenes popped up in front of me in an attempt to bring me down. It was like a pandora box that once you open it, the contents flood out uncontrollably. For me, this is the most difficult time in the meditation. Yet, I was patient enough to wait in silence with my eyes closed, cause I knew what was to waiting for me. Slowly, the flood of thoughts slowed down together with my breath. I started to regain awareness of my body senses, one by one, and my train of thoughts finally came to a stop and rested there. And this is the moment where I felt I’m regaining myself slowly, a moment where my mind felt empty and clear, where my body started ridding itself of all the burden and came to neutrality, and I was finally able to rest. 
It is a life changing practice. Even after I finish the meditation session and open my eyes to the crazy world, I start thinking of how much we are tied down to this unending spiral of thoughts and action; how much we tend to lose ourselves in this world and become someone who isn’t us in the first place. But today I remembered my buffer zone that is always there for me whenever I need to take a break from the non-ending war of the world. It is a bliss!