Robyn Gigl's Blog

On March 30th, my debut novel, BY WAY OF SORROW, will be published. It was originally scheduled to be published on June 30, 2020, but along came the pandemic and my publisher, Kensington Books, decided (wisely in retrospect) to delay publication for nine months. Now as pub day approaches once again, I have to admit it is bittersweet.

In the Acknowledgements section of the book I wrote this:

My favorite character in the book may be Erin’s mom, Peg McCabe. She is loosely based on my own mom. My mom is 96 and my hero. Whatever reservations she had about her child being transgender, she put them aside and has continued to love me as only a mother could love their child. Her wonderful sense of humor, and refusal to “act her age” have inspired me.

On December 22, 2020, my mom passed away. At 96 can death ever be unexpected? At least in my mom’s case, the answer is yes. We spoke everyday, usually at around 6:30pm—after her dinner, and before Jeopardy. The last time we spoke was December 15th and she ended the conversation as she did every night, “Talk to you on the morrow.” On the 16th she fainted, and, in the middle of a snowstorm, she was rushed to the hospital. Because of COVID there was a strict no visitor policy, and without her hearing aids, a phone conversation was impossible. The doctor’s indicated she was doing well and the next day my sister took her hearing aids and phone to the hospital so we could talk to her. But by the following day she had developed pneumonia and within three days she was gone. The hospital was kind enough to allow us a compassionate visit before she passed, so I did get to see her, but by then she was mostly out of it, and although I spoke to her, I never heard her voice again. Now, a month and a half later, I still find myself reaching for the phone at 6:30pm.

Although Mom had an ARC of the book, I know she never read it—too many curse words—she was after all 96 and a good Catholic. Nonetheless, I know she was proud of the fact that I am going to be a published author.

So as March 30th approaches I am a swirling mix of emotions—a great sense of joy over becoming a published author, some trepidation about how the book will do and what people will think of it and an ache in my heart knowing Mom will not be here to share my joy. I can only take some solace in knowing that everyone who reads the book and looks at the Acknowledgement page will learn that my mom was and IS my hero.

Thanks mom—love you.

I will confess that there is a part of me that feels very self-centered posting about my debut novel, By Way of Sorrow, while the devastation from COVID-19 continues to grow both in terms of lives impacted directly by the virus, and the scores of people overwhelmed by the economic tsunami that has followed. But for the almost 4,300 Goodreads members who entered the giveaway for a chance to receive a copy of my book, and the more than 3,900 of you who have put BWoS on your to read shelf, I wanted to let you know that, in light of the disruptions caused by the virus, my publisher, Kensington Books, has made the difficult decision to delay publication of BWoS. Until Friday, BWoS was scheduled to be on store shelves on June 30, 2020. Of course, it’s pretty hard to have a book on store shelves if there are no stores open. So the new publication date is March 30, 2021 – yeah, a year away.

While the decision to delay was a difficult one for all involved, it is our hope that by pushing the publication date back a year the worst of the physical and emotional impacts of the virus will be behind us. It is also our hope that the worst of the economic impact will have started to fade and going to a bookstore will once again be something we all can do and enjoy. Finally, I note that the new pub date has another purpose. It is designed to allow the novel to come out the day before the Transgender Day of Visibility – March 31, 2021. For a book where two of the main characters are transgender women, written by a trans author, how’s that for being visible!

Stay strong and stay safe.

I start with a confession – I'm new to all of this – Goodreads, blogging, even having a novel published - so if I mess up or make rookie mistakes, please forgive me.

First, the fact that almost 3000 of you have entered the Goodreads giveaway for a chance to receive a free copy of my debut novel, By Way of Sorrow, is absolutely amazing. I have been overwhelmed by the response. Thank you so much.

I write mainly because of what is going on with COVID-19. I hope all of you are safe and well. If you’re not, I wish you a complete and speedy recovery. I have seen and experienced many things in my life, by nothing remotely compares with this pandemic. I know all of us hope this ends quickly and with a minimal toll to those who are or will become ill and to the economy at large.

I am not unaware that as it spreads, the virus’s impact will be worse on certain groups of people based on their age (I’m over 60) or medical conditions. But if anything good can come out of this crisis, I hope that it helps all of us to remember our common humanity. The virus does not discriminate based on gender, age, race, ethnicity or citizenship status. It doesn’t care if you are a person with a disability, rich or poor, gay, straight, cis, trans or non-binary. It is an equal opportunity illness. And maybe, when this is all over that will help us remember that what unites us, what we all share, our humanity, is stronger and more important than what separates us.

I hope all of you get through this unscarred by the illness or its economic impact. I don’t know what the world will look like on June 30, 2020 when my book is published – I know it will be a far different world from what I anticipated two months ago. I hope it is a world where I can celebrate the release, sign some books and hear your reactions. I hope it is a time when we can meet, shake hands and maybe even hug.

Thank you for your interest in my book and please stay safe.

Robyn