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Today for the majority of people it’s getting hard to create genuine, meaningful relationships.

Because of social media, our focus is “broken”. It’s getting hard to focus on anything, especially on one person romantically.

It used to be one person at a time. Now people go on dates with multiple people in one day.

The grass seems always greener on the other side. One person goes another comes.

There are “situationships”, talking stages, and casual hookups.

I feel that genuine connection is rare.

It feels like we aren’t valuable to each other anymore.

We keep chasing better, more intelligent, more successful, more handsome, and more beautiful.

I agree with Amir Levine “This is sometimes referred to in attachment literature as the “dependency paradox”: The more effectively dependent people are on one another, the more independent and daring they become.”

We have lost that security. Which will lead us to lose ourselves.

And that leads to depression, mental health issues, and health issues in general.

The post Why People Can’t Find Love Today appeared first on Ani Rich.

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I was re-reading Veronika Decides to Die by Paulo Coehlo.

“Be like the fountain that overflows, not like the cistern that merely contains.”

This made me think about sex and what sex really means.

Sex for me is more than sexual intercourse.

Sex is a way to express yourself.

Sex is a powerful portal for healing and transformation, a vessel for self-realization and self-exploration.

True sex is “To get fucked so well, so thoroughly, so artfully, so heart-fully that it blows away all the pre-conceived, false notions of who you are, and leaves behind a more true, authentic, and beautiful version of you.”

Sex is meditation. Sex is rebirth.

Sex is more than an orgasm and orgasm is more than just sex.

My Favorite SEX podcasts

Orgasmic Enlightenment by Kim Anami

Sex with Emily by Dr. Emily Morse

The Bad Girls Bible by Sean Jameson

Favorite Blogs

Awakened Intent by Chirs Bale

Bad Girls Bible

The post What is Sex appeared first on Ani Rich.

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Yesterday my friend asked me what makes me happy.

Such a beautiful question.

I decided to write about it as well.

Happiness is an immense feeling that comes from the most minor, simplest experiences for me.

Happiness for me is the feeling of expansion. It’s your inner being experiencing fireworks. When your whole being feels complete and content.

Happiness is momentary and it feels like your inner being is expanding. It’s Like you feel something big has changed inside of you and you’ll never be the same but you can never put it into words.

Happiness is experiencing pleasure, contentment, satisfaction, fulfillment, joy, and love at the same time.

Happiness is your soul experiencing an orgasm.

I am happy when;

I’m in nature, having a mountain or ocean view, looking at the sunrise or sunset. It makes me feel part of something bigger than me. It stretches the idea of who I am.I’m having juicy, delicious, life-force expanding, heart-racing, connected, pleasurable, orgasmic, wild sex.I’m driving and the right song hits at the right time.I am so present that even death loses its power on me.I look into my son’s eyes and for a split second, I see him, truly see his being.I experience gratitude.I’m driving fast on an empty road.I pause and realize that everything and everyone including me is divine.I feel connected to the universe and God.

The post What makes me happy appeared first on Ani Rich.

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Lies hurt people. Really deeply.

On the other hand, truth also hurts people.

For a minute I was confused about what to do.

Then I stumbled upon this beautiful book, “The Yoga Mind” by Rina Jakubowicz. She said something so profound that made sense and gave me the answer I was seeking.

The truth can hurt you but doesn’t leave scars, while lies leave marks for lifetimes.

Lies traumatize people and leave scars so deep that some people never recover. Lies feel like sharp knives in our hearts. Lies paralyze people.

Whereas truth just hits us in a different way. It awakens us. The pain we feel hearing the truth is a growing pain. The pain is from expansion rather than breaking apart.

No matter if you are getting lied to or you are the one lying it takes your power away.

Being truthful or hearing the truth empowers us and makes us more powerful over time.

The post To Lie or Tell the Truth?! appeared first on Ani Rich.

wisdom is using your knowledge.

I think when we say that a person is wise we mean that the person is living their truth.

When someone’s words, actions and thoughts are aligned they are wise.

The post Wise Person appeared first on Ani Rich.

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I decided to do a little experiment and listen to my intuition more than usual.

To do whatever it tells me without rationalizing it.

I’m already loving the process. This past month has been the most beautiful month ever.

I feel guided, and I feel like things are constantly working out for me.

Many times what I feel guided to do isn’t logical at all.

For example the other day I left my nail salon and as I was walking I felt guided to check out the clothing store. It was a small boutique and I knew they won’t have anything my size, as usually, those types of stores don’t hold smaller sizes. It didn’t make sense to check it out but I did anyways.

As I’m leaving the store I see a girl in front of me on the escalator and in split second I realized it was my best friend going up to the gym.

I was excited to see her. We had a little chat and I left.

I realized why my intuition guided me to the store, have I not entered the store I would have missed her.

Another simple example would be my car experience. I wanted to drive our Subaru the other day, but it just didn’t feel right. When I was thinking about driving our smaller car it felt right. I had no idea why, but I’m trusting my intuition as much as I can remember?!

So I drove the smaller car. On my way, I remembered I wanted to get the bubble tea. As I came closer to the “Tea Studio” there was literally one parking spot left nearby and it was in front of the place. The parking space was so small I couldn’t have fitted it if I drove a bigger car.

I didn’t even remember I wanted to get the bubble tea, but my inner being did.

I feel like my intuition get’s stronger the more I listen to it.

Throughout the years, I’ve met the people I wanted to by listening to my intuition, I’ve found parking spots, stores with huge sales, events, places to eat and etc by listening to my “Inner GPS”

It’s like a game where you make a move first by trusting it.

You don’t get to see the “proof” and then get to trust the process. You have to first trust and then you get to see its magic.

You get the evidence of it working after you take a leap of faith and trust that wherever you will be guided will be worth it.

Just as I’m writing this I felt the itch to go downstairs. As I was doing so I saw the sun was starting to come up. I love to see the sunrise and my inner being knows it. That’s why I started thinking strongly about going down.

Even after having so much evidence in my life I still overthink and forget to use my inner compass. I make things complicated and I try to be logical. And my life and experiences reflect it.

I’d say logic is needed, it has its own place and time in life.

But when your gut feeling tells you something, you must prioritize it.

The majority time I understand why my intuition was guiding me to a certain place or people. There are also times that I just don’t get it. It doesn’t make any sense. But those are the moments you trust the most.

The more you trust the more you become open to receiving the guidance of the universe.

You can’t let in what you resist.

Trust makes you open and receptive.

As the focus is the way to manifest anything that you want, trust is your compass. Trust is the way to your intuition, to be able to have the map and be guided.

Believe without seeing and you’ll see more than you could have ever imagined.

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

Hebrews 11:1

Trust your hunches. They’re usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level.

Joyce Brothers

If you want to dive deeper into gut feeling and intuition here are some interesting reads for you:

https://www.russellfutcher.com/new-blog/2022/2/14/the-psychology-of-intuition-trusting-your-gut

https://hbr.org/2001/02/when-to-trust-your-gut

The post I Experimented to Trust my Intuition without Exception and the Results were Exceptional appeared first on Ani Rich.

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Life is so beautiful when I am aligned with my inner being.

There is no traffic when it usually is.

There are no lines where they usually are.

It’s easy. everything is flowing.

Everything is working out for me.

I am at ease. Everything becomes so vibrant.

The way I see, hear, and smell becomes magical.

People are so colorful and I am genuinely shining.

When aligned, you become like the sun and everything/everyone around you becomes warm and bright.

Living aligned life is our birthright.

Living in alignment is our natural state of being.

Do not resist it.

Allow it.

The post Aligned with Source Energy. Aligned with your inner being appeared first on Ani Rich.

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Before I thought, that if I accepted myself, I would have never changed. I was extremely resistant to the idea of embracing myself and accepting myself.

It just scared me, as I associated acceptance with staying the same.

When I gave birth I gained 58 pounds I was just a 20-year-old.

I thought my life was over.

I couldn’t look in the mirror anymore. I hated myself.

Every time I looked in the mirror, I would have said that I looked horrible. All this weight, huge belly, and red stretch marks all over my body. I hated it.

Finally, 6 months postpartum I’ve gained mental and physical energy and I started working out.

To be honest, I was too tired of my reality, I just couldn’t take it anymore.

My fuel was my self-hate.

Obviously, it worked. I had phenomenal results and I’ve been consistently working out for the past 5 years. I look great and I feel great. But that’s not the point here.

After I got in shape I realized how hard I went on myself.

I was a new mom, a young mother, I gave birth in a foreign country so I had none of my family members with me, I had no mom friends who had gone through a similar journey, and I was staying alone with a newborn for the majority of the day. On top of all that instead of giving myself love and compassion I filled it up with hate, unhealthy pressure, and pain.

Imagine if I had given myself love and improved the way I look out of love. Transformed it not because I hated it, but because I loved it so deeply that it deserved to look better.

You might be thinking to yourself “Yes but your self-hate worked, you got the results.” It’s not just the results that matter but how you get those results. The journey and the process would have been so much smoother and easier on my mind.

I believe that true, lasting change comes from acceptance.

If you deny where you stand, you deny the journey, you deny the destination too. And you never get started.

Loving and understanding yourself might be a challenging place to start, but being compassionate for yourself is easier.

Imagine yourself as someone else. If anyone was in your situation what would you’ve told them? How would you’ve comforted them? What advice would you have given to them?

Now tell/give all that to yourself.

I kept that little lesson.

Since then, every time I want to change something in me or around me I wait. I wait to achieve the state of “I love myself so much it simply deserves better”. 

Only after feeling this way do I take steps toward change.

And let me tell you when I do that, I am aligned and aligned action leads to aligned results. The journey becomes much more pleasant and the results become the blueprint, rather than a temporary change.

Buddha said: “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.”

I would also add Compassion to the list.

It would go like this.

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love, affection, and compassion.

Much Love,

Ani Rich

The post Giving Birth at 20| Lost 58 Pounds of Baby Weight| and a Little Life Lesson appeared first on Ani Rich.

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A woman on a playground starts to talk to my child and give directives.

I told her with a nice, but firm voice to instead of talking to my child she can talk to me as I was standing right there.

she became very aggressive and started calling me stupid.

To which I responded, “ok, I am what can I do about it.”

She got extremely mad. She started calling me crazy.

I’m standing there in awe of this woman. She was the most reactive person I’ve ever seen.

I’ve remained calm. I’m not gonna lie I imagined using all my krav maga moves on her, but it wouldn’t have been a great example for my son.

I knew it was a great moment to show my son what I’m teaching him in action.

I always tell him to be responsive rather than reactive. But sometimes there is no point in talking to someone.

“In true dialogue, both sides are willing to change,” said Thich Nhat Hanh.

I would add to it in true dialogue both sides are willing to listen.

I realized I wasn’t heard nor was I going to be heard so I stayed silent.

Obviously, her energy affected me. If I wasn’t on my period I would have been more mentally tough. It would have still affected me, but way less than it did at that moment.

She had such strong negative energy, the way she didn’t stop talking and kept going. It drained me a little.

But at least now when I tell my son that it only matters what we think about ourselves, I can give him and remind him of real-life examples.

And it works. Showing our children what to do instead of telling them.

This incident happened a few months back.

And yesterday my son came to me and told me that in preschool he was told that he has a big nose. At the age of 5, he told me he didn’t believe them because he knows it was not true.

I was proud of him.

I was also proud of myself.

Sometimes I need these moments of reassurance. To see that all my effort and hard work is worth it.

Oftentimes I teach him, show him, and nothing. It seems like he doesn’t even care. Then suddenly it clicks in his mind and I see the results which help me keep going.

I was reminded again that sometimes for my own peace and well-being it’s better not to say anything at all.

Only talk when you know you are going to be heard.

Also, I did say something to this woman.

When we left the playground Maxime was walking in front of me passionately sharing something. I knew he wasn’t going to hear so I turned my head to this woman and quietly told her “You really are a bitch.”

To which she said, “You are even worse”.

What can I say she didn’t even deny it.

She too knew she was a bitch.

The post This woman called me Stupid and Crazy appeared first on Ani Rich.

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I’m the oldest in my family.

All my cousins and also my sister is younger than me.

Imagine, I had to be “The Example”.

I was the person responsible for their behavior and actions, at all times.

As a bonus to my pressure to be perfect, I was attending a private school, for 13 years, that belonged to my aunt.

Similarly, I had to be a leading example for my peers. Because I was the representation of my family, I had to be perfect.

If I was not wearing a uniform, attending classes, and following all the rules, how could have they asked it from others?!

All these years I heard messages like, you know better, you shouldn’t have done that, you are too smart for that, you are older, you know better and etc.

Imagine how much pressure I put on myself as an adult, being raised with those affirmations.

As an adult, I was deeply compassionate toward others’ pain, because I knew how much it hurt.

For my own pain?

Never!

The consequences of my mistakes never harmed me as much as my being hard on myself for making a mistake in the first place.

It was damaging.

Self-love, forgiveness, and compassion were too far away from where I was standing.

Every time I made mistake I felt so powerless. I hated myself. I hated my life. I hated my being and my existence.

Every time I didn’t get something right I would think that I didn’t deserve anything good to happen to me.

For years I lived with rage attacks.

As a Kid, I wasn’t really allowed to cry or have big emotions. So all of this pressure manifested in my anger outbursts.

I wish there was one thing that magically “fixed” me.

There was a combination of many things that helped me navigate myself out of the darkness.

Here are a few major things that made the most impact on me;

Acceptance

First and foremost accept where you are. Accept the situation. Accept your feelings, actions, thoughts, and emotions. Only acceptance will give you the power to transform yourself and your situation.

I started to have an Anger Journal

Write down all your thoughts, however awful, strange, or scary. After you are done burn them, cut them, tear them or put them in the trash. Now feel lighter. All of that has now left your body and you are free. Repeat as much as you want and as often as you need. Whenever you need it.

Anger is a Cover Emotion for Far

As I said before, making a mistake made me feel powerless. Being in that position is scary. Every time you are angry, try to find what’s the underlying cause. What are you scared of?

Do the things and surround yourself with people that Make You Feel Powerful

If seeing your father makes you feel powerless, try to limit his presence in your life. If your neighbor makes you feel powerless stop talking to them. It isn’t time to understand why certain people or situations trigger you. It’s time for you to put your well-being first. You have to create a space within before you’ll have the strength to reason and manage emotions.

This Quote, by Deborah Adele literally Saved Me

When we feel powerless, we have forgotten how much choice we really have. We have a choice to take action and we have a choice to change the story we are telling ourselves about our powerlessness.

I had this quote cut out from my gratitude calendar and put it on the wall.

I read it as often as I needed.

Reading and Listening to What Empowers you

You are what you consume. You watch a detective you feel like one. You watch a superhero you get inspired, you listen to a motivational speaker you get motivated, you listen to someone powerful you feel powerful. Make sure that anything and I mean anything you consume brings value to your life. Read interesting books that will help you grow and transform, listen to podcasts, and watch documentaries. Read lots of quotes. Do whatever you need to feel powerful.

There are many more things that I have done like yoga, working out every single day, and dressing up every day (even if I stay at home). This is just part of who I am and I’ve been this way for a very long time. I can’t say I’ve specifically done it for the purpose of healing but I’m sure it has supported the process. Because when I look in the mirror and I like myself, I like my body it always makes me feel confident which leads to me feeling powerful.

Meditation

The moment I started meditating every single day for at least 15 minutes, my life improved significantly. I was always on and off with meditation until I heard Arnold Schwarzenegger saying this:

I have been working out every day for years now. Because I care about how I look. So I thought to myself that my mind is equally important as my body and that I would do 1 thing each day for my mind. And for my soul, I say a little prayer every single day. If I eat and sleep every day I can do at least 1 thing for my mind-body and spirit daily.

Last Word

Healing is an ongoing process. Even yesterday I had an emotional day. I was sobbing and laughing at the same time saying to my mom that of course, I don’t have permission to be human and make mistakes. But it’s different today than it was before. Catching it is easier, letting it go is easier, happens much less and it’s easier to forgive myself.

Healing is a journey you go through until the day you die. You remove layer over layer. You become lighter and lighter until eventually, you gain control over your trauma, instead of it controlling you.

Trauma doesn’t disappear you just learn to tame it.

I hope you found my story helpful. In case you want to share your own story with me or ask questions about mine, find me on Instagram at @inuitivelyrich

The post How I stopped feeling powerless appeared first on Ani Rich.