Jane VerMulm's Blog

Christmas Day, 2022. Holidays are funny, as in odd. For some, they are the height of excitement, anticipation, and joy. For some, they are depressing. Emotions run amok, and give extraordinary highs and infinite lows, sometimes in a matter of moments.

Today, I am alone. My family will be getting together if we can in bits and pieces on other days of this winter break, but on this Christmas Sunday, I am taking it easy. It is like “just another day.” But let me share a few thoughts that I had this morning that may encourage you if you are experiencing “just another day.”

I woke up thinking about why Christmas is so special to some and stress inducing to others. Even for Christians, who acknowledge the birth of Our Savior Jesus Christ as the origin of the holiday, it can be stressful. Big parties and gatherings, financial woes and family dysfunctions affect us all, no matter who we believe in, Santa Claus or Jesus Christ.

As I thought to myself that today was “just another day” for me, I began my morning routine. I sat down to breakfast with my daily coffee and devotional. Suddenly, the “just another day” feeling morphed in my mind.

You see, because I believe that the little boy born in Bethlehem grew up to give His life on the cross on Good Friday in Jerusalem, and rose again to life on Easter, I have a loving, growing relationship with Him today. And every day. He is the One who has given me this day! This is just another day…to give God the Glory…to share His love with others…to bring my concerns and cares before His Throne…to celebrate this life He has given me with each breath I take!

So, to you, dear readers, I wish you a Merry Christmas, and “just another day” every day to live in His Grace!

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You have had the sense in my last few and far-between blogs that I have been in transition. My life changed radically when my husband of 37 years left. This painful process of divorce is one that has only been endured with the help of my Sovereign God, my loving and supportive family, and friends.

I decided to move closer to my aging parents, found full time work, and purchased a home of my own. The home was in decent condition, but was in need of some personalized color choices. I have been painting and decorating for the last three months!

Now, I feel at home. The biggest projects are done, and when I return home after a day’s work, I don’t have a brush to pick up or a nail to hammer. What my mind has turned to now with eagerness is writing again. Despite the difficulty of the last year, I did manage to knock out the story line of my next book, and now that I am settled, I will turn to the fleshing out of a new tale in the Schmidt family saga.

So, dear readers, I return to my happy place, my computer on my lap, and a story in my head to tell. I hope that wherever you find yourself in your life, be it a season of hardness or ease, you will find the time to do what makes you happy. If that happens to include reading my stories, send your good thoughts my way!

The post Settled again, I write! appeared first on Jane Ver Mulm - A Matter of Fact Lady.

Well, dear readers, I have told you about my paternal grandmother in the first entry of this blog, and much has happened in my life over the last couple of years. As I write this on the first day of 2022, I am in the midst of great change: living back in my parent’s home while I look for work and a place of my own, and dipping my toes into the wellspring of wisdom in my family history as I face the new year.

This time, let me tell you about my maternal grandmother. “Small but mighty” would accurately describe her. She was just shy of five feet, and raised 7 daughters on farms in South Dakota and Iowa. She always had a garden, even after she and Grandpa retired and moved into town, and always made homemade bread and jam, much to the delight of her multitude of grateful grandchildren like me! Wonderful smells wafted from her kitchen: complete breakfasts of eggs and bacon (cooked by Grandpa as long as he was alive) and family dinners of roast beef with all the trimmings, including home canned tomatoes in a little side dish that always felt fancy and tasted delicious. At Christmas, everyone got a homemade popcorn ball to complete the day.

Grandma was also an artist and an educator. She was a prolific painter, with scenes that still grace many of our homes. She loved to play the piano and sing, and in later years even picked up the violin that she had long laid aside. Her home was filled with interesting rocks and geodes, nooks and crannies for inquisitive grandchildren to explore, and she kept pencils and paper for us children to use, encouraging us to draw.

Her faith was always paramount, and she shared it with us in everything she did. She didn’t preach, but I remember just knowing that her belief was like air to breathe. Late in life, she shared with me as a young woman that she was learning to leave her requests at the feet of Jesus in prayer, rather than picking them back up again after she said “Amen” to worry about more. I often have gone back to that wisdom, let me tell you!

When Grandma died in 1985, my cousin Barbara Halsted Adkins drove from Oklahoma to attend her funeral, and while she was on the journey, she penned this poem in honor of our Grandma. I share it with her permission:

“Mama, Grandma, Little Lady, with the dainty feet;

Weeds and hoes her garden rows- keeps them clean and neat.

Mama, Grandma, Little Lady, pats her grandchild’s head.

Tales of the prairie and Christmas fairies- feeds her homemade bread.

Mama, Grandma, Little Lady, with the gentle hand;

Dabs her brush on scenery lush with color – oh, so grand.

Mama, Grandma, Little Lady, wraps up in a sweater.

Works a crossword, feeds a snowbird, reads her daughter’s letter.

Mama, Grandma, Little Lady, with the grateful heart;

Lifts a note from a quavering throat- then trills the piano part.

Mama, Grandma, Little Angel, our own family treasure-

Showed us all 4’10” is tall when up against God’s measure.”

As I look toward my next year, searching for new work, new home, and new situation, I have much to learn from my Grandma. I hope that when I come to the end of my life, my friends and family will be able to say that my life reflects God’s measure through and through. May God bless you all!

I have been absent, busy making rehearsal supper to take to my son’s wedding, trying to prepare a healthy, inexpensive meal that is a crowd-pleaser. What better time of year than a fall wedding to serve hearty and healthy soups! I must add that the crowd I served contained a few special dietary needs. One was vegan, one gluten free, and one allergic to any kind of peppers. Not wanting to single out anyone, I devised a buffet of soups, all without gluten, that would allow all to have at least one hearty bowlful. Dried beans and peas are also an inexpensive way to make healthy, filling soups. I made sure that the items I purchased were not processed in plants that included gluten.

To be fair, I did find a couple of the recipes online, but I always make my own adjustments to the recipes.

White Turkey Chili

½ lb. dry great northern beans, soaked overnight in water and drained

3 cups turkey or chicken stock (I made my own using a turkey carcass, carrots, onion, celery, and seasonings to avoid gluten)

1 clove garlic, minced

1 medium onion, chopped and divided into two equal portions

1 Tbsp. extra virgin olive oil

1 serrano pepper, stem and most seeds removed, chopped

1 tsp. ground cumin

1 tsp. dried oregano

Pinch of ground cloves

¼ tsp. cayenne pepper

2 (4-oz.) cans chopped green chilies

2 cups diced cooked turkey

Salt to taste

Combine beans, turkey stock, and half the onions in a large saucepan and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer until beans are very soft, 1-3 hours or more. You may add some water if necessary as the beans expand and soften.

Heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat. Cook chopped pepper and remaining onions in oil until tender. Add the minced garlic and cook for a minute. Add green chilies and seasonings, mixing thoroughly.

Add seasoning mixture, salt, and turkey to the stock and bean mixture and simmer for 10 minutes or more, until the beans are thoroughly soft and the stew has thickened. Serve with optional garnishes of cilantro leaves, lime, or avocado slices.

Vegan Lentil Fiesta Soup

2 Tbsp. extra virgin olive oil

1 yellow onion, diced

2 carrots, peeled and diced

1 red bell pepper, diced

3 cloves garlic, minced

1 Tbsp. cumin

1/4 tsp. smoked paprika

1 tsp. oregano

1 (14.5 oz.) can diced tomatoes and the juices

2 (4-oz.) cans diced green chiles

2 cups lentils, rinsed and sorted

8 cups vegan vegetable broth

1/2 tsp salt

Heat olive oil in a large pot over medium heat. Add vegetables and saute until beginning to soften. Add garlic, cumin, paprika, and oregano and saute until mixed in well. Add tomatoes, chiles, lentils, broth, and salt. Simmer, covered, until lentils are tender. Garnish with fresh cilantro, chopped avocado, and a few dashes of hot sauce, if desired.

The other soup was a family favorite, and I know it is sometimes difficult to find the whole dried peas. In our area, it is a traditional ingredient for the Dutch, so we find them. My kids in other parts of the country have made the soup even with frozen peas!

Pea Soup

1 lb. bag whole dried peas

1 Ham shoulder bone, meat partially cut off, or 2 ham hocks

1 medium potato, peeled and chopped

1 medium onion, diced

1 cup dried split peas

Salt to taste

Soak whole peas in water overnight. Drain. Cook whole peas and ham bone, covered in water, for about 2 hours. Remove bones and cut off remaining meat, adding it back into the soup. Add potato, onion, split peas, and salt. Simmer until peas are soft, another 1-2 hours.

I was reminded by a dear friend this week of a Bible verse she was searching for. She remembered the gist of it, but couldn’t find it, and I used my Bible app to search for it and find it. In doing so, I felt God speaking to me, and inspiring me to finally know what to write about in this blog. The verse is in Ephesians 2:10:

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

I have, as some of you know, been going through a trial in my life. It has caused grief, pain, and confusion within my own life and those of close friends and family. I have questioned in my heart what God wills for my life. This is, I think, a very common question for Christians. What are we here for? What am I supposed to be doing?

Enter God’s word in the text of Ephesians 2:10. God has a plan; for me to do good works. It is that simple. It doesn’t have to be more complicated than that. It doesn’t have to be more specific than that. I am called, and was created, in fact, to do good every day, every moment, everywhere. No matter what the outward circumstances in my life, I am to do good. I am to love as Christ loved. I am to see what needs to be done and do it to the best of my ability, and ask God to work through me.

This world, currently an extremely confusing and sometimes frightening place, needs more of us to follow that guidance. Go out today into the workplace and do good works. Stay at home with your family and do good works. Reach out in your community and do good works. They don’t have to be grand and amazing, they just have to be you trying to do your best, with God’s help. He is the one who designed you, He is the one who planned for you, He is the one who will work through you to do His will!

David Bowie’s song has been running through my mind lately: “Turn to face the strange changes! Time may change me, but I can’t change time.”

After my last blog about change being normal, I have been faced with a devastating change in my own life personally. But I have been reminded throughout the process that I am loved by God, family, and friends. They give me the courage and strength to turn and face the changes. I can’t change time and go back to what was, I can only move forward in faith.

People have asked me how I can face my challenges and changes. I guess I have been blessed with, as friends used to tell me, an incurable optimism. The main source of that is my unyielding belief that God is in control. This world is in chaos, but God knows the beginning, the middle, and the end. He is timeless, eternal, and always there. Having that assurance, I know that He is with me today as always, and knows every step I need to take.

In that sense, I guess I would change David Bowie’s words for myself to be: “Turn to face the strange changes! God may change me, but I can’t change God!” That is something to rely on, to lean on, and to walk with for the rest of time!

I hear and read much lately about the “new normal,” or things in our society returning to “normal” as more people get vaccinated for Covid, and businesses begin to open up again. What’s all this about “normal?” Why are we so obsessed with it?

I would like to propose the idea that routines that we develop in our own lives may seem to us to be normal, but in fact, the history of humankind has shown that CHANGE is, in fact, NORMAL. From the time that Grog the caveman struck a rock against another rock and a spark flew out and lit the pile of dry grass next to him, there was change.

When Eve listened to a snake and tried that delicious fruit, there was change.

When God told Abram to leave his homeland, there was change.

Every human being in every part of the world, in every generation has experienced change every day of their lives. There have never been two days exactly alike. In fact, I think most people would find that mind numbingly boring if it could be achieved. Even if you have a “normal” routine like eating breakfast, it gets boring if you eat the exact same thing everyday, doesn’t it? I like to vary the type of cereal, or the flavor of the juice, or something. And sometimes it is at a different time of the day, if I sleep longer!

As human beings, we may claim to crave routine normality, but in fact, if we were given just that, we would probably all crave a change. I guess that really, change is normal, and also, it is normal for people to be overwhelmed by too much change. Perhaps instead of trying to go back to what was “normal” to us, we do, in fact need to embrace the “new normal,” and balance the changes in our lives with the routines that make us feel less overwhelmed. Understanding that is, I think, the key.

Recently, I heard about someone who liked to write, but didn’t want anyone to read what they wrote. At first, that may sound silly, but then I realized that just writing for writing’s sake is a great thing. Many things that I have written have been greatly beneficial to me.

Writing in a journal or diary is a great way of collecting your own thoughts. It helps you examine yourself closely, and lets you release your feelings onto the page, where you can interact with them and understand them. I sometimes look back on my entries into a prayer journal and it is amazing to see how I have grown and changed over the years.

It is also a good intellectual exercise to write down stories and fiction, like the person I heard about, but it is so hard to let others read them sometimes. One’s writing can be such a personal involvement that it feels like baring your own soul to let someone else read it. And if it is read and edited, or criticized, it can feel like a personal attack!

As an author, I have worked past that fear, and become much more thick skinned about my writing. If you want your work to be published, you need to realize that a good pruning will let it come to life in a healthier version. I went through nearly twelve drafts before Finding Paradise was finalized! But I am pleased with how my “baby” grew, and has gone out into life on its own!

To anyone who likes to write, I say – keep it up! Learn and grow and write to your own satisfaction, or be brave and share your work with others. The world will be a better place in some corner because of your writing, either in your own heart, or shared with others.

My love for history and storytelling surely started with my parents. I grew up in a loving home, along with my twin brother and a younger brother, knowing the family stories that were told and retold at family gatherings. I grew up delighting in the tales of what life was like back before I was born, even before my parents were born, told verbally, or even written with the pen of my grandmothers and grandfathers.

Today is the anniversary of my birth, and in the card my mother sent, she wrote some of her memories from when my brother and I were born. Spoiler alert, you will find out how old I am, and side note, my parents were not aware that they were having twins! I will cherish her handwritten recollections, still written in a firm, neat script, and I am thankful for the blessing of still having my dear parents, Dale and Pat, with me in this life. Here are her memories:

“February 22, 1963 – We wanted a girl and we got one, a beautiful brown-eyed delight, (although at first her eyes were that dark new baby blue.) She was the first to come – and soon, in 15 minutes, another child was born. A tiny boy so precious we couldn’t believe it. Dale told the nurse, ‘It better be a boy!’

She replied, ‘I’ll see what I can do.’ She was successful, and brought the boy out. His wrist was about as big around as my thumb. He fit into my forearm just right from elbow to hand.

What an adventure we started when they were both home. Grandma Hazel, Dale and I were as busy as we ever had been. We bathed, fed, burped, and changed babies around the clock and noted it on the pad by the stove where we heated the formula. The time (about every 1 1/2 to 2 hours.) [and the amount we drank.]

We soon got our days and nights arranged, although I remember dashing in to check the cradle and bassinet to see if they were breathing. I remember Hazel saying “These are the days of real sport!”

Before we knew which way to turn – they were growing! And they and I all cried most of the day when Dale took his mom back home. The next day and ever after, I got my act together and became THE MOTHER!”

Thank you, Mom, Dad, and in heaven, Grandma Hazel, for getting us, both under 5 pounds at birth, through that first month! Blessings to all you moms out there crying along with the babies! I am living proof that most of the time, it works out!

I teach kids in our church on Sunday mornings and in our midweek AWANA program. I also helped raise four kids, and was a paraprofessional in an elementary school for a time.

I love kids, and I love teaching. But sometimes, they can be trying, can’t they? One thing that raising and teaching kids has taught me is this: emotions are volatile, but we can learn to control them.

For kids, emotions can be overwhelming, and as parents and teachers, they can be equally overwhelming if we don’t learn to ride them successfully. Just like taming a wild horse to be a useful helper, we can tame our emotions.

The first step by all accounts to taming a wild horse is to gain its trust by remaining calm. When our emotions become wild, we need to remain calm as well. Instead of letting our emotions control us, making us shout, or cry, or whatever wild ride they take us on, we need to apply logic and calm to the situation. Sometimes, that means taking the time alone that is needed to control the tears or anger, thinking logically about why the emotions are so strong in us: Is it because we are overtired, or overworked? Are we taking something personally that perhaps was not intended? Is this emotion an overreaction? How should I react to this emotion in a safe way? Helping kids realize that they can do this is sometimes very difficult, but maintaining your own calmness helps model the behavior.

My own kids would have tales to tell about a mom that didn’t always maintain her own calm. We all lose control at some point of our emotions, but hopefully, we can be wise and apologize when needed, assure the child that we do love them, and move on to using logical ways to communicate with them. The heat of an argument may need to pass before we can do this necessary communication. As the adult, it is important to keep calm and bring up the topic at a later time with the child. Remembering that you are the adult helps you remember that your emotions can be controlled, as well.

As a teacher, we don’t always have the time to address individual children who need our help taming their wild horse emotions. Hopefully, there are helpers like school counselors and administrators that you can turn to, or paraprofessionals who can assist children in these situations.

I am not an educated educator, as in having the college education, but I hope that any of you who are will concur that learning to control your own emotions is an important part of being successful at teaching. And as a parent, I have learned that our children learn from us, even if we are not knowingly teaching them. So do yourself a favor, and learn to ride…your emotions!