R.J. Hecking's Blog: Duly Noted: Adventures of an Amateur Writer

Hooo-Lordy!! What a week!!

You should know off the bat that I live in a very small town, with only about 5500 people. I've lived here for the past 30 years, raised my children here, worked here, and generally tried to be an upstanding citizen.

But then I went and wrote a steamy romance!!

As it happens, one of my beta readers for Still Us used to work for our local newspaper, and asked me if she could tell her friend the editor about me and my book.

Gulp...

Small town papers are always looking for any damn story that features a local doing something even slightly interesting, so it was fairly certain that he would want to do the story.

So... did I want the people in my town to read this?? It's one thing for my Twitter followers to read a sex scene I've written. It's something else entirely to have the neighbors read it!!

In the end, it came down to would I choose to be ashamed of my work or proud of it? I took a day to think about it. I've had readers tell me they stayed up all night to finish it. I've had readers tell me it brought them to tears. I've had strangers gush about the book. All that has been very validating and convinced me that it's a pretty damn decent book that I should be proud of.

So I said yes. I did the interview, sent in a photo, and heaven help me, ended up on the front page a few days later. Along the way, I had second thoughts, third thoughts, and even fourth thoughts. Had I made the right decision? Was my reputation ruined? Did it matter? Did I care? And holy shit, what would the neighbors think??!! What would my work colleagues think??!!

There's a great quote from the movie Gone With the Wind (a movie that is rightfully being re-examined now in ways not relevant to the quote). Rhett Butler says "With enough courage, you can do without a reputation." I chose to hold on to my courage for dear life and hold my head high.

If the pearl clutchers in my small town get their knickers in a twist that I've written some very steamy scenes, that's their problem, not mine. Sex is part of the human experience, and integral to my story.

In the few days since the story ran, I've gotten emails from friends and acquaintances congratulating me and telling me they're planning to read it. Great!! Fantastic! Enjoy!

But there was that one time when a non-traditional 40-something male student in one of the undergraduate math classes I teach told me that he saw the story and looked forward to reading the book.

And then I blush...

Oh my. Well, in for a penny, in for a pound. Good thing we're moving in May.


You can find Still Us: A Love Story in Parallel Worlds here:

https://www.amazon.com/Still-Us-Story...

We all have two voices talking in our heads- the inner critic and the inner motivator. Who is speaking louder at any given moment determines a lot!

I think writers have a particular variation of these.

On the one hand, there's the inner voice that says OMG NO-don't show anyone, don't tell anyone, don't self-promote...go hide in a corner. If you're any good, the world will find you and you'll be at the top of every bestseller list (which is of course not terribly realistic).

On the other hand, there's the inner voice that says look at you, brave thing! Putting your work out there! GO!! SHARE IT WITH THE WORLD!! Tell everyone about it!! Speak up!! The world won't know about you unless you make some noise!!

And these two voices argue with each other a lot. At least they do in my head.

Which one wins on any given day is anyone's guess. I saw a request on a Facebook group asking for recommendations for romance books. This is one of those moments when the voices argue in my head. Should I say, hey I wrote this thing. I think it's not awful. People seem to like it. Should I? Dare I?

I ended up not saying anything. It felt too much like bragging, too much "look at me." So the "hide in the corner" voice won out that day.

I did find my courage another time this past week and sent a request to a reviewer to read Still Us, so the brave voice won out too. Haven't heard back.

What I like to do is to actually write. Not self promote.

Anything involving the latter is a struggle! I'm trying to push myself a little, though. Because I did write a thing. And I think it's not awful. And people seem to like it.

But, yikes. This feels awkward. I'm talking junior high level awkward. Like discussing one's bowel habits over dinner awkward. Or like in an anxiety dream where you're the only one who's naked in a crowded room. Yeah. That level of awkward.

Sigh...the struggle is real. And awkward.

Greetings and salutations to anyone actually reading this! I love you already.

After groveling to the Goodreads gods, I finally convinced them that yes, I had written a thing. They smiled down on me from Goodreads heaven and blessed me with an "author profile." Whoo-hoo!!

So I go onto this author profile, and there it is. YOUR BLOG. Just sitting there all blank and lonely looking. I have a blog? Oh, I guess I have a blog. Okey-dokey. Um. Do I even want a blog?

I've blogged in the past, but those have long ago run their course.

Given that my "following" has yet to reach double digits, it's not as though I'd be disappointing masses of people if I didn't do this... but writing is like catnip to me.

Irresistible.

So I figure why not? I'll share what I'm doing on the writing front. Share my massive fails and tentative wins.

And since I'm probably going to do a sequel to Still Us at some point, you can all follow along and see how it all comes together. I'll give you a peek behind the curtain.

If you've made it this far, give yourself a pat on the head and a gold star.

Happy First Post!

Hugs to all,
Rebecca