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No Take Backs is Now Available!

She walked away after one night, but fate had other plans. 

Our time together scorched my nerve endings and made it impossible to forget him. 

One night is all we had… all we needed. 

I ran away, leaving nothing but a note. 

I should have known better than to think he was in my past. 

Josh wasn’t supposed to haunt my dreams. But now, our paths have crossed again, and the chemistry that’s ignited is even more explosive. 

This time? He’s not letting me get away, and he’s not afraid to tie me to his bed to prove that point. 

What was supposed to be one night is turning into something much more dangerous—something neither of us can control. 

The inferno raging around us is going to tear us apart. There’s no doubt about it. And when the ashes are all that are left, when the world we know is torn to pieces, will one more night with him be worth the destruction?

This is Josh and Nia’s story. 

No Take Backs is a one-night-stand, workplace romantic suspense with a happily ever after. Each book in the Birch Harbor: Coming Home series can be read as a stand-alone, but the stories and characters do interconnect.

 

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Chapter One – Nia

“When was the last time you had sex? I mean actual sex, involving another person and not one of those fancy-ass vibrators you constantly send me links to check out. Real sex. Where you start clothed and end up naked with your legs behind your head and an orgasm that makes it so you can’t walk for an hour after because you can’t stand up.”

Intentionally ignoring the annoying voice in my ear that refuses to shut up about the lack of sex in my life, I suck down most of the juice pouch I’m holding in one gulp, relishing the burn of the hidden adult beverage as it hits my stomach.

The only good thing about being stuck in the over-the-top and ridiculous roller rink in the middle of the day for my niece is the vodka and cranberry juice that I smuggled in after I cut open some juice pouches, poured the mixed drink in, and then sealed them with my hair straightener.

Yeah, I knew what I was doing so that I wouldn’t get caught or kicked out for refusing to spend money on overpriced alcohol.

If it wasn’t for that, I would have ditched my annoying sister and my niece and run for the hills. Or back to Birch Harbor. Whichever option popped up first.

At least I don’t have to drive myself home.

“Virginia Davidson,” the irate voice snaps from in front of me. “Are you listening to me?”

I open my eyes, tiny yellow straw in my mouth, and blink innocently at my sister. “Nope.” I go back to slurping my almost-empty juice pouch. “What do you want? Or what were you talking about?”

My older sister, Ella, the devil who convinced me to go with her and my niece, Lyla, to a party where I’m stuck sitting around a table surrounded by the other adults present, stares at me expectantly. With a dramatic sigh, I put down the drink and wait for her to repeat whatever it is that she said in the first place.

“I asked if you wanted me to set you up with the new guy at work and then gave you shit because you were ignoring me and asked when the last time you got laid was.” She raises one blond eyebrow and waits for an answer.

When I don’t immediately give her one, she huffs and then flips the curls she probably spent all morning on over her shoulder.

“You know you’re not getting any younger. If you want to have a family, you should start on it sooner rather than later, at least that’s what Mom would say if she were here right now.” She rolls her eyes. “I think you just need to loosen up and maybe let someone tickle your itch. You don’t need forever, maybe just a ‘for now’ type of thing. Clear out the cobwebs.”

I haven’t had enough to drink to deal with her nosiness, and I sure as hell don’t want to talk about it in the middle of a public space. Where my niece or any number of random people can hear what we’re talking about.

With narrowed eyes, I study her and the way she fidgets under my scrutiny.

“You asshole,” I finally say. “You really fell into Mom and Dad’s whole narrow view of wanting to marry me off, didn’t you?”

She flushes, and I know I’ve caught her. Even if she tried to cover it up, I see straight through her.

Just like our parents, she’s ready for me to settle down. Never mind the fact that I’m not ready. I haven’t even lived. I’m not ready to settle down and live a domestic life.

“I’m not old,” I snap. Then, just for good measure, I grab my drink pouch and finish it off with a little slurp and burp. “I’m not even twenty-five yet. I literally just finished my degree and started my job. I’m not you, Cinderella. I didn’t find the love of my life at eighteen and have a baby girl at twenty. And it’s not a bad thing that you did. I’m just not you. I want to live my life and enjoy the freedom that I have. I want to explore a little bit.”

“Try telling that to our parents.” She props her head up with her hand, resting her elbow on the table we’ve been sitting at for an hour. “They equate happiness with marriage and babies. I don’t even think you should settle down, personally. You’re wild and free and like a hurricane about to hit land. You’d wither up and die like a rose bush in winter if you had to force yourself into this life.”

“I’m just not ready,” I tell her, agreeing with her sentiment. “I’ll handle our parents. Again. But I need my big sister to have my back. Because this…” I trail off and motion around us. “This isn’t my every day.”

“You’ve got it.” Ella winks. “Now that the requisite guilt trip has been repaid and you’ve got a plan to get our parents off your back, we can move on.”

Reaching into my purse, I pull out two more drink pouches. “Want one?”

She holds out her hand, suspiciously staring at the watermelon-flavored container. “Why does this look different than it should?”

I pop my straw into mine and slurp loudly before answering her. “Because I found this video online to make adult ones with a hack. Just try it.”

She follows suit and then gasps, choking after taking too big of a gulp. “Nia, what the hell?”

“I told you.” Snickering, I set my drink on the table. “Adult drinks.”

“I didn’t think you meant vodka,” she hisses. “I have to drive. I can’t have this.”

“More for me.” I hold out my hand. “You said this would be fun. Not us sitting here for hours while Lyla ditched us for her friends.”

At nine, Lyla is just getting to the point that she doesn’t want anything to do with her parents, or any other adult for that matter. Which means Ella is constantly dragging me to the ends of the earth with her to different activities. Last month, we had to go all the way down to Portland for a gymnastics competition, three hours from home. And next week, I know that Ella is going to ask me to go with them to some martial arts thing so that Lyla can get her next belt level. Which will be awesome as shit, because my girl is almost a brown belt or something like that.

“What’s going on with Rich?” I take her drink and set it on the table, waiting for her to wrap her mind around my intrusive-as-fuck question.

Technically, I only put about one shot worth of vodka in each pouch, so if I’m careful and don’t drink them all at once, I’ll be okay by the time the party is over and Ella drives us back to the hotel.

“He’s working,” she hedges. But I see the way she starts to pick at her cuticles with one hand and the way her fingers clench and press against the table with the other hand.

“Liar,” I whisper, right as a breathless Lyla pops up at the table.

Without even looking at her mom or me, she bursts into laughter and clutches the chair we saved for her. “You guys have to get on skates.” Her breath is coming in short gasps, and Ella is already reaching into her bag for Lyla’s rescue inhaler. “Seriously.” She gasps again. “It’s so much fun.”

Instead of panicking like I want to at the rush of air and the way her chest is practically heaving, I reach over and brush the loose blond hair from her face, revealing her hazel eyes, tucking it behind her ear. “How long have you been struggling?”

“Just now.” Her face has already started to turn bright red. “Came. Right. Over.”

Ella holds out the inhaler, without the familiar spacer that I’ve seen Lyla use since her asthma diagnosis when she was six months old.

“Here, baby girl. You know what to do.” Ella’s fingers tremble while we both watch Lyla grab the inhaler and use it like a pro.

Puff. Then a deep breath to make sure she gets enough of it.

Another puff. Another deep breath.

The longest thirty seconds of my life drags by.

At least the longest thirty seconds since Lyla’s last time needing her rescue inhaler in my presence.

When Lyla’s cheeks turn back to normal a minute later and her chest stops rising so dramatically, I take a deep breath, but the sense of calm that settles over me has nothing on the utter relief that seems to fall from Ella’s shoulders in waves.

“I hate this,” she mutters when Lyla starts chattering to herself and reaches for a snack, oblivious to our panic at the situation.

I take my sister’s hand and squeeze, offering her the silent support I know she needs from me. After all, she doesn’t just ask me to go to everything under the sun for Lyla just to watch her. Ella needs the help. She needs a second set of eyes on our girl.

“Mom, seriously.” Lyla turns on us suddenly. “It’s just asthma. I’m not dying.”

Her hazel eyes flash with annoyance when Ella opens her mouth to argue, so I step in.

“You know, I’m pretty exhausted and your mom has been keeping me company.” I raise an eyebrow. “After all, she’s been my sister forever. You’re just her daughter, and you’ve only been around like five years.”

Lyla huffs and then leans forward and hugs her mom. “But she likes me more than you. So you can suck it, Auntie Nia. And you know darn well that I’m nine.” And while her mom is distracted by her hug, Lyla sticks her tongue out at me.

I ignore her sass and sip on my drink.

“Are you almost ready to go?” Ella is hesitant to let her go, and it’s almost comical how Lyla tries.

“I’m not done skating yet, Mom.” She finally pulls away. “Can we stay for a little bit longer?”

When a man in a familiar blue uniform walks right by our table, I choke on my drink and stuff it back in my purse like it is a giant bottle of vodka. Then I turn to watch the Maine State police officer walk by, smiling at the way his ass hugs his uniform.

“We should stay,” I tell Ella, interrupting whatever they are saying. “Just for a little bit.” I turn back to Lyla with a wink.

Taking her chance, Lyla skates off before Ella can tell her to stop.

“What’s that all about?” Ella spears me with a suspicious glare. “You never volunteer to stay for longer when I’m ready to go. Not only that, but there’s a whole conversation to be had about drinking in the rink.”

“Because.” I scoot my chair over slightly so I can watch the hot cop take a seat with another guy a dozen or so feet away. “I think she deserves a little space. And you didn’t tell me what’s going on with you and your husband. Do you guys have big plans for your ten-year anniversary?”

“No.” Ella freezes up immediately. “We don’t have any plans.”

“That doesn’t sound right.” My words come out as a murmur, while I reach back into my purse for my contraband. “You always do something big for your anniversary.”

Ella rubs her forehead with one hand and with the other, she taps the table with Lyla’s rescue inhaler. “I don’t know what to tell you. We don’t have plans.”

“Cinderella.” I use her nickname again, only this time not with annoyance. “You gotta come clean. Might as well be with your baby sister. I can help you get through whatever it is, just tell me. No judgment, remember?”

Since the day she met Rich Prince, her very own Prince Charming, I started calling her Cinderella. And since that day, she has rolled her eyes and told me that I annoy the shit out of her.

“Things haven’t been right since Royal did what he did.”

I shudder at the mention of Rich’s brother, a monster if I’ve ever known one. He’d been arrested for stalking and trying to murder a girl I went to high school with.

“Poor Kennedy,” I mutter. Her story has been all over the news for weeks, and it is heartbreaking what she had to deal with at Rich’s brother’s hands.

“I know,” Ella whispers brokenly. “Rich has really had the weight of the world fall on his shoulders. And his parents think that Royal can’t do any wrong, you know. It’s just been hard.”

I watch her, ignoring the noise of other conversations around us, and focus on the tiny details I hadn’t picked up on before. The bags under her eyes. The tense way her lips press together. Even the way she clenches her jaw together, and I find myself inspecting her skin to make sure she isn’t wearing too much makeup.

“He’s not taking it out on you, is he?” My question hangs in the air as the song playing for the skaters shifts, and I watch the flare in Ella’s eyes. “If he is, I’ll gut him and feed him to some lobsters down in the harbor. I’m sure I can buy a lobster trap big enough for his body. Either that, or I’ll drop his corpse in a bear plot somewhere up north. No one will find him.”

Her laugh catches me off guard. “Oh,” she wheezes. “No. Rich would never hurt me, Nia. He’s dealing with the added stress of people thinking he’s just like his brother, and that’s following him home. Not only that, but his parents want him to defend Royal in court.” She picks up her drink, not the adult one I gave her earlier, but the massive bottle of water she’s been sipping on all day. “He said no, and now there’s a huge rift in their family. But he’s the best man I know, and how could he decide to defend a complete monster?”

Relieved, my eyes drift away from my sister and over to the cop again, who is staring with clear disdain at a group of people having a party. Then our eyes lock for a second before he turns back to the man across the table from him. He runs his left hand up to his head and I’m not ashamed to admit that I notice the complete lack of a wedding ring.

He laughs at whatever the man next to him says, and I think my panties start melting at that moment. He has dimples. Perfect dimples that I can see clear as day. Combine that with the short and messy light-brown hair, and dark-brown eyes, and I’m a goner.

“Earth to Nia.” Ella snaps her fingers in front of my face. “What are you looking at?”

She follows my line of sight and snickers. “I thought you were done dating uniforms.”

“Just cops,” I answer with a smile. “Eddie Stryker ruined that for me. That asshole had the audacity to get upset with me when one of his friends hit on me, not knowing we were together. Like that’s my fault.” I roll my eyes. “But I can still check out a hot guy, can’t I?”

It is a good thing I don’t date cops. And that I’m there with my sister and niece. Because he is just hot enough to make me change my mind. At least for one night.

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The post No Take Backs Chapter One appeared first on Rue Lennox.

No First Kisses is Now Available!

He vowed to protect her, even if it meant losing himself.

I’ve carried his secret with me for years, both loving and hating him at the same time. Logan Pierce was my protector, my savior, and the one who walked away, breaking us both in the process.

Now, years later, he’s back, breaking into my life and my heart all over again. Despite the chaos he brings, there’s a connection I can’t deny, a pull I can’t resist.

Logan still carries the guilt of something out of our control, and his fear of losing me again keeps him at arm’s length. But when a new threat emerges, one that can destroy us both, we’re forced to confront our past and the love that never truly faded.

Our future hangs in the balance as we face the darkness together. Will we find our way back to each other, or will the shadows of our past consume us forever?

This is Logan and Poppy’s story.

No First Kisses is a second chance romantic suspense with a happily ever after. Each book in the Birch Harbor: Coming Home series can be read as a stand-alone, but the stories and characters do interconnect.

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The post new release – no first kisses appeared first on Rue Lennox.

Chapter One – Poppy

I gave up on trying to keep him out after he broke the fourth lock on my door and it wouldn’t shut right until he fixed it after his next visit in the middle of the night. 

It’s useless, and Logan Pierce knows it. 

Hell, he knows every inch of my body better than I do. And every time I try to get rid of him, there he is. Reminding me of why I can’t keep any of my walls up around him. Why I’ve never been able to.

“Are you awake?” 

I knew he was there before he said anything. He almost always is, waiting for his chance to break me just a little bit more. Sitting in the dark until he’s sure I won’t fight him or kick him out like I’ve tried to do so many times before when he breaks into my house in the middle of the night. But we both know what the end is. I always give in. I always will.

Right this minute, he can’t see that I opened my eyes when he asked his question. I’m on my stomach, practically clinging to a pillow, the way I always sleep. 

I’m too busy trying to keep my breathing normal, because I don’t have the strength to do this tonight. I want him. But I want him to leave. 

I want peace, and all he brings is chaos. 

The best kind of chaos, but still… chaos.

“I know you’re awake, Poppy.” 

He’s closer now, his breath coursing down the exposed skin of my back. 

When his fingers dance along my spine, I can’t control my body’s reaction. I meant it. He knows every inch of my body and how to force the response we both know I want to give him. 

“I need you.” 

Just like so many nights before, when there is no light left to hide behind, he gives me the truth. 

If I were a stronger woman, I’d turn on the light next to my bed and demand he give me more. That he tell me everything. That he explain why he continues to rip out my heart every single chance he gets. 

It would be so easy to reach over and flip the switch. 

To erase the shadows around us. 

But I don’t move.

In the dark, I don’t have to pretend to be strong.

When the bed next to me shifts and his warm body slides naked next to mine, I know that just like every other night he comes to me, I won’t turn him away. 

“I always need you, Poppy.” 

His lips press against the back of my neck and I melt in his arms. Even with my face turned away from him. He’ll take me. Take all the pleasure that I’ll give him, and I won’t have to say a word for him to know what to do. Then, before I wake up in the morning, he’ll be gone again. 

We’ll bicker and fight, argue and avoid each other, until the next time he breaks into my house. 

“Poppy, please.” 

That is new. 

Still, I don’t move. I don’t look at him over my shoulder like my heart is begging me to. 

The light flashes on. For the first time. And I feel like I’ve hallucinated the act. Except there he is—all six foot four, blond hair, and green eyes. He is staring at me with a world of hurt on his face that I don’t understand. 

“Poppy, I need you.” 

His eyes are too intense. They burn with emotion that I’m not used to seeing from Logan. So I look away and notice that he hasn’t taken his clothes off after all. 

Finding my voice for the first time in what feels like forever, I force out the question. “Why, Logan? Why do you need me now? Why not all the other times?” 

“We lost a little girl today.” He closes his eyes, and a tear falls. 

In my entire life, I can’t remember a single other time that Logan has cried.

“What happened?” 

He pulls me into his arms, and I’m lost to him. His scent envelops me, warm and musky and everything I dream about every single night. 

“Her father was abusive.” Logan holds me tightly against his chest, his hands running up and down my skin. Not in a sexual way, like I thought before. But trying to comfort himself. “He killed their whole family.” Logan swallows deeply. “I was okay, until I saw the little girl. She had red hair. Just like you. Just like you did when you died in my arms.” 

His pain is palpable, agonizing in the darkness between us. But he’s not the only one who suffered. Who went through hell and came out on the other side. 

“I came back.” Mostly intact. I might be missing part of my heart, but it’s his fault because he never gave the damn thing back. He took it with him overseas and has carried it with him every single day since then. 

“But you’re not mine. Not anymore.” 

That does it. I sit up, brushing my curls out of my face with one hand and pointing to the door. We both know he’s not going to leave. He’s here. And he’s touching me. 

We’re fighting.

I may hate him, but I want him just as much.

“That’s your decision. Not mine. You decided I wasn’t yours. My heart stopped for a minute. One minute, Logan. And because of that, you’ve decided to push me away for how many years? Just because you saw me—”

“Yeah, Poppy,” Logan snaps, sitting up and spearing me with a glare. “I watched you die. That’s right. I swore that I would love you forever, and we were planning a future together, and then you fucking died in my arms. So, yeah. I pushed you away. I’ll keep pushing you away, because I’m not dragging you down into the same pit again. I’m not going to be the reason you die.” 

I’m not weak. I’m not the girl he left a decade before in the hospital. I have a life. One that means the world to me. And up until this very moment, I’ve been thinking about walking away and moving. Again. Just to get a fresh start. But in this moment, a lot like he does in the dark of night, I face the truth in the light all around us. 

I crave the nights he shows up in my house, even if he breaks the locks. 

The dirty things he does to my body, the way he makes me scream in ecstasy. 

All of it. 

When they stop, for whatever reason, I’ll miss it. 

I’ll crave his touch, and the pain he brings me right to the edge of, before shoving me into pleasure so rich I can’t breathe. 

This is a familiar argument. The same one we’ve had countless times before. 

The same one we’ll have for the rest of our lives because as much as I want to think I’ll leave him… I never will. 

Logan’s more a part of my soul than I am at this point. 

Instead of pushing him away anymore, I turn around.

My eyes are locked on the window in front of me, refusing to turn or fight with him when we both know everything about this is futile. When I don’t answer him, Logan sighs and presses his lips against the back of my neck again, sweeping my hair out of the way. The first yank may have been an accident, until I feel his hand wrap in my hair and he pulls even harder. 

Only the audible click of the light turning off, pushing us both into pitch-black, can be heard. 

Until he kisses the back of my neck, biting down when I don’t move an inch.

The mew I let out is the only approval he needs to keep going. With my hair wrapped tightly around his hand, Logan controls our movements in the dark until we’re down on the bed. Already on my side, it’s easy for him to push me to my stomach and straddle my ass, his body still pressed against mine. 

“If you won’t talk to me, Poppy, I’m going to make your body sing.” 

I keep my mouth shut, both furious with him and beyond aroused at the knowledge of what he is about to do to me. What I want him to do to me. All while I’m silent. 

The low growl escaping his lips is my only warning before Logan bites into the back of my shoulder. 

My responding whimper, combined with the way my chest and neck bend back, betrays the silence I’ve worked so hard to maintain. Logan’s chuckle, with his lips still pressed against my skin, is just one more example of how he can bend my body to his will. How I let him bend me to his will. How I want this. 

“I’m going to love this, Poppy. More than usual.” His hand is still wound in my hair, and the other slips under my shirt, pushing the blankets down and the shirt up. “So goddamn perfect.” 

When his hand unwraps slowly from my hair, Logan doesn’t waste any more time. He pushes the shirt the rest of the way up and yanks it over my head without missing a beat. 

Left naked, my back to him and nothing but darkness surrounding us, my heart starts to pound even more in my chest. 

“You like this, don’t you?” His question is nothing more than a whisper with his lips pressed against my ear. 

Logan’s hands touch me everywhere, all at once. From the back of my neck and the curve under my ass, he moves them together, like he is tracing a well-worn path over my skin. Enough that I can do nothing more than let him. Let him touch, fondle, and caress my body, leaving me wanting and practically begging for more. 

“Spread your legs for me, Poppy.” When I don’t move immediately, giving him what he wants, Logan slaps my ass. 

The sting burns, but I’m already in a haze of pleasure and anticipation. While he soothes the area he just hit with a smooth hand, I feel Logan move down my body. 

“You know I’ll move them myself, Poppy.” My core clenches when he does just that, and I reach for the pillow, knowing exactly what is coming next. “In fact, that might be more fun for both of us.”

Before I can get my hands wrapped around it, he flips me over, and the surprised squeak that leaves my lips causes a flush to rise in my cheeks. 

“That’s better.” 

In the darkness, I can only see his outline while my eyes struggle to adjust. 

He loops my legs around his shoulders and lies completely on his stomach, pressing his face into my core. Sucking. Biting. Licking me until I’m crying out in pleasure. 

“Oh. Yes. More.” I can’t stop the words, any more than I can stop the building orgasm from taking over a moment later. My hands bury themselves in his hair and I pull. Unaware of anything else for more than a minute, I have to catch my breath. 

“Too much,” I mumble.

But Logan doesn’t stop. Instead, he kisses the inside of my thigh and moves up as he adjusts himself, pressing against my entrance and sliding in without any resistance. 

“Told you,” he grunts once he is fully seated inside me, my walls convulsing around the intrusion. “You’re built for me, Poppy.” 

Thrust. 

“Perfect. Just perfect.” 

He leans forward, hitting the most sensitive spot inside my body, while his hands wrap around mine. 

A brutal kiss while he keeps thrusting is all I have, our bodies intertwined and moving together in a dance they’ve done for years. 

Nothing is as good as the electricity that sparks between us. No amount of pizza or delicious food or alcohol can touch the roar of ecstasy coursing through my veins. 

“Give it to me, Poppy,” Logan grunts. “Another one.” 

“No,” I gasp in response. “More.” 

He kisses me again, grinding into my body in a way that leaves me breathless and balancing on the edge that I’ve just denied. 

“Look at me.” 

I don’t realize that my eyes are closed until he says the words. Not only that, but he’s completely stopped moving while he waits for me to obey.

“Open those eyes and look at me.” His words reach into the pit of my soul and demand my attention to the point that my eyes snap open and lock on his. 

“There she is.” 

In a moment of intimacy that I’m not expecting, Logan runs a finger down my cheek while he starts to move slowly. 

I’m already on the very edge of the precipice, but the look in his eyes, even in the darkness that consumes us, is what drags me into the type of bliss that only Logan can give me. 

“Hurry.” The words come out on a gasp. 

My legs, wrapped around his waist, go stiff and lock. My hands claw at the skin on his shoulders while I let the orgasm take over. With my eyes still locked on his, I finally let go. Until I can’t keep my eyes open anymore, and I have to shut them against the onslaught of emotions that I find myself completely unable to hold back. 

Don’t let him see you cry. 

He rolls off me the same way he always does, and I hear him walk into my bathroom. Then the water turns on. A few seconds later, he’s back, using a warm cloth to help clean the mess we’ve made, and my heart starts to race against his careful touch. He’s never done that before. Never stopped to take care of me after we are done. 

An amazing orgasm that leaves me breathless and practically begging for more is one thing. Logan is the best I’ve ever had. But in the dark, he never demands my feelings. My eyes. He never says my name the way he has this time. And when my heart finally starts to beat normally and the blood pounding in my ears subsides enough to let me hear what is happening around me, I wait for Logan’s excuses. The same ones he makes every single time we are together. 

Sorry. I have to go. Stay safe.

Like a broken record, he never deviates from his script, and he never stays long enough for me to tell him that he doesn’t need to apologize. That he doesn’t owe me anything. Not after he keeps breaking my heart simply by existing. 

While I wait for the excuse, for the apology that ruins all of the erotic bliss that I’m still reliving in the moment, I listen for the sound of him moving around to get dressed. 

My ears are met with nothing but silence. 

Finally, I open my eyes, expecting to be blinking into the darkness, but he left the bathroom light on. Logan stands there, right next to my bed, staring down at me with a dark expression on his face. 

He’s also completely naked, which should take away from the intimidating effect he usually has, but it doesn’t.

“What?” I don’t mean to snap the question, but he’s unnerving. Silent and still, his head tilts at a small angle, and the look on his face… It’s enough to have me biting my lip with how nervous he makes me.

Like he’s been snapped out of a trance, Logan clears his throat and straightens up to his impressive height. 

“You’re not really moving, are you?” 

His question catches me off guard, and instinctively, I grab the blankets and lift them up practically to my chin.

“Y-yeah.” I stammer over the word. “That’s been my plan the last few months.”

He leans down, and I’m met with the tantalizing view of him getting dressed. 

With a nod, he walks out. 

And I’m left with nothing but the memory of his touch and the tears that I don’t bother trying to hold back anymore.

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The post No First Kisses Chapter One appeared first on Rue Lennox.

No Hard Feelings is Now Available!

He watched her throw away their future, and swore to win her back.

My brother died and I threw a grenade into my life, breaking two hearts in the process. The man I left? My dead brother’s best friend, and a member of his military unit.
I may be miserable, but at least I’m not going to bury another person I love.
There’s only one little problem with my current situation.
I’m not sure I can convince Ian to let me go.
I’m not sure I want him to.

When my brother’s last wish forces us together again, there’s no chance of escape.
Ian still wants the future I promised him, and I’m not strong enough to push him away again.

Our happily ever after hangs in the balance when we’re up against more than just the grief we both carry on our shoulders. The darkness we’re about to face has the power not only to sever the connection we share, but to destroy us all.

No Hard Feelings is a second chance romantic suspense with a happily ever after. Each book in the Birch Harbor: Coming Home series can be read as a stand-alone, but the stories and characters do interconnect.

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Chapter One – Chloe

The day I bury my brother is the worst day of my life. Worse than when our father died from cancer or when Mom died from her heart breaking, literally.

At least when they died, I had Kevin there to hold my hand and tell me everything would be okay. But when they lower his coffin into the ground, I will officially be alone.

Forever.

Ian Keller, tall and gorgeous enough to turn the head of every female present, even if we’re standing at a funeral, holds out the only thing I have left of my big brother. And he’s staring at me with the same striking green eyes I fell in love with when I was six years old.

Damn him.

I can’t even look at him.

Instead, I focus on his hands.

The same hands that I used to love caressing my skin are holding the last bit of my brother, and I’m barely holding myself together.

I think I’ll follow Kevin into the ground as I stare at the Stars and Stripes that are meant to offer comfort. My heart fractures into unbearably tiny pieces as I stare at that flag, tremors fighting for control over my body while I try to force myself to take it. The black dress I put on this morning presses against my skin, making it impossibly hard to breathe. The sun beats down on my head, causing sweat to build up on my scalp and on the back of my neck.

I can’t move.

I can barely breathe.

How am I supposed to get through this?

How am I supposed to do this?

Every eye in the crowd is on the two of us. I don’t have to look up from Ian’s hands to know that they are watching, waiting for what comes next. They want me to collapse into Ian’s arms. To seek the comfort that they know he can give me.

After all, we’re supposed to get married. At least, we were gonna get married before my brother died.

“Chloe.” Ian says my name quietly when I don’t lift my hands to take the folded-up flag he is offering like the most precious gift imaginable. “Chloe, you need to take the flag. It’s yours now.”

Ian was my brother’s team leader. The man responsible for keeping Kevin alive during his deployments. I’m not stupid. I know that was before… He had been the team leader, before Ian got out of the Marine Corps.

Now, as he stands in front of me in his dress blues, I want to scream at him. 

“Chloe, please.”

Numbly, I take the flag right as a bugler starts to play “Taps.”

Why do I have to take the flag?

Why is this important?

None of this matters.

Not with Kevin gone.

Marines surround me, just like I know they would any time I need them in the future.

Kevin’s unit.

Men he trusted with his life… and men who left him to die as they moved on with their lives when they got out of the Marine Corps and he chose to take a final deployment, extending his contract even though he didn’t have to.

I don’t even have his body.

Just an empty hole in the ground, where an empty coffin will be buried.

“I hate you,” I tell Ian when I finally raise my eyes to meet his. “I hate every single one of you.”

“I know you do.” He stares at me with an expressionless face. The same one he used growing up to lie when he got in trouble with his parents. “But if there’s ever anything that I can do for you, you know where to find me.” His face may not have any sort of expression or tell, but his eyes are wild. Without blinking, I watch as anguish, fear, agony, and finally acceptance pass over his face.

He knows.

He knows that I can’t love the man that I blame for killing my brother.

I don’t acknowledge his offer. Do I know where to find him? Yes. Yes, I do. After all, I’ve been his neighbor since the day I was born.

“If I could trade places with him, I would, just to spare you this pain.”

My heart lurches at his words, at the truth in his expression. I see his parents out of the corner of my eye. They are standing to the side, watching our interaction as though it is the only thing in the world worth watching. Like they aren’t lowering an empty coffin into a grave at that very moment for Kevin.

“They miss you almost as much as I do. Mom talks about the wedding like it’s still happening. Like it could heal everything that’s broken. Even if you don’t want it, you’re part of our family.”

The lurching pain in my chest amplifies to a sharp twist of the knife I can feel pressing against my ribs. Tearing my eyes away from his parents and the grief I can see in their eyes, I face the man I thought I’d spend the rest of my life with.

“I gave you the ring back, Ian.” I thought it was impossible to feel this way. But I was wrong.

He’s staring at me as though I’m the answer to every problem in the world, and I can’t Stand it.

“I didn’t want it back, Chloe.”

“Then you shouldn’t have killed my brother.”

I turn away before I can see the pain in Ian’s eyes at my words. I know I’m wrong, that he wasn’t the one who actually pulled the trigger, but that doesn’t change how I feel. The betrayal that I’m going through.

If Ian was there… Kevin would be alive.

And I refuse to think about the fact that if Ian were there, I might have lost them both.

With my back to Ian and the rest of Kevin’s unit, I hold on to the flag with all my might, praying I’ll wake up from the nightmare all around me.

Wake up, Chloe.

Every inch of my body is on fire as my nerves are forced to accept reality.

This is my nightmare.

This is my reality.

Forced to watch as I lose the last of my family.

But when the bugle fades and the bagpipe starts a melancholy rendition of “Amazing Grace,” I have to go.

I can’t stay.

I can’t let them see me break.

I can’t let Ian see me collapse into pieces.

I leave, hating the way the black dress I want to rip from my body swishes around my calves with every step. I despise the way my black patent Tieks sink into the grass and mud of the cemetery, like even the ground itself wants me to stay by grabbing onto me any way it can. The soft material of Kevin’s flag weighs more than I want to admit, and my arms ache as I carry it, along with all the memories that will forever live in its folds.

I don’t want a flag.

I don’t want a funeral without my brother’s body.

What I want is to to burn the world down.

I want to demand answers from a military that won’t give me anything but the promise that my brother died serving his country.

I want to scream. To let myself shatter into pieces so small that there will be no chance of ever putting me together again.

But nothing will bring Kevin back.

And nothing will take away my pain.

Nothing but maybe the bottom of the bottle of tequila I have sitting on my kitchen counter. The last of Kevin’s weak attempts to help me celebrate my twenty-first birthday a few years ago.

Walking away from Kevin’s grave is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. With each step, the haunting strains of the man playing the bagpipes fades more and more until I reach my car and slam the door shut, cutting off the final strains of music.

When I pull into the driveway of my parents’ house, the one Kevin and I inherited and agreed to fix up together when he got out of the Marine Corps, I can’t see through the tears in my eyes. The flag sits on my lap, pressed against the steering wheel, and I know it’s absorbing the tears that slip from my cheeks.

By the time I finally pry my fingers away from the steering wheel, the sun has started to drop in the sky.

The worst day in my life is almost over.

Almost.

Taking the final steps into the house is harder than I ever thought it could be. Perfect, depressing, and all-encompassing silence meets my ears when I finally close the door behind me.

Ghosts of the people who should be standing there with me start to play in my mind. Mom and Dad, wrapped in a blanket together on the couch while they watch replays of their favorite movies, insisting that both Kevin and I join them for a marathon until we are arguing about the reality of lightsabers and Jedis into the early hours of the morning.

I can almost see us waving tubes of wrapping paper around while we try to prove our point.

Crying doesn’t help the ghosts and memories fade. If anything it just brings them all back with a force I’m not prepared for. And because I pushed him away, Ian isn’t even here to help me put the pieces of my broken life back together again.

Even as my traitorous heart aches for him, I hate him. I hate him and all the rest of Kevin’s original unit. The men who got out of the Marines years before my brother. The ones I have had to see every single day while he still served in a country across the world.

Like I summoned him with my traitorous heart, I see familiar headlights pull into my driveway while I sit on the edge of my couch, clutching Kevin’s flag in one hand and a bottle of alcohol in the other.

I should have known there is no way in hell that Ian will leave me alone. The man doesn’t know when to quit, and he doesn’t know when enough is enough. I used to love that about him. But right now, I just want him to let me leave him.

“I’m coming in, Chloe. Don’t shoot me.” His voice rings out loudly through the open window next to my front door.

I don’t answer. I’m too busy trying to work up the courage to drink Kevin’s whiskey to get up off the couch or even say anything to the man I used to love. “Have you had that entire bottle?”

I look down at the almost-empty bottle of whiskey in my hand and blink, trying to figure out why he’d even ask me that or what he is doing in my house.

I don’t bother hiding from him that somehow I finished the tequila I’d originally planned to have, and I don’t remember getting the whiskey.

“I thought it was just tequila waiting for me,” I whisper brokenly. “I thought I could make the pain go away. But I finished it, and then I have this.” I don’t actually think anything will ever take away the pain. Not really. “Oh well.” When I try to tilt the bottle back and take a drink, my arms aren’t even strong enough to lift it.

How much have I cried?

“It was one mission.” Ian’s voice breaks as he watches the tears flow down my face. “One mission that went wrong.”

“Yeah,” I tell him without breaking eye contact, letting him see the hate I still feel buried in the depths of my heart. “And it ruined what was left of my family.”

“Not just yours,” Ian says quietly. “We were supposed to have forever.”

“Forever doesn’t mean shit when my family is gone.”

I pull Kevin’s flag closer to my chest, using it to keep a barrier between the two of us. Needing that space to keep from admitting the truth. To save myself from the fact that I’m pushing away the only family I have left.

“Come on, Chloe, I’ll get you to bed.” He steps forward and if I could have retreated back further into the couch, I would have.

Instead, I’m left holding the flag between us like it will protect me from the pain I’ve caused myself.

“What are you doing, Chloe?” Ian gently takes the flag from my hand, his eyes staying glued to the fabric, and I swear that his hands tremble while he carries it to the mantle above the fireplace.

I watch him place two fingers to his lips and then touch one of the stars and my heart breaks into impossibly smaller fragments.

I didn’t even know I had anything left of my heart.

With one hand held out for me to take, Ian waits patiently for me to pull myself together. Once I do, he guides me to my room, and it feels like I’m floating on air with every step we take.

“Chloe,” he whispers my name. “You hate alcohol. What are you doing?”

“Want to be numb.”

Can’t he see how much pain I’m in? How hard it is for me to even get out of bed every day, knowing I’ll never see Kevin again? Can’t he see anything anymore?

“I see all of it, Chloe. But I can’t walk away from you.”

I said that to him.

Normally, I would flush with embarrassment and apologize, but not anymore. I’m too numb to care and too hurt to worry about Ian’s feelings. I can’t find the strength to care about anything.

“Go away, Ian.” I sniff into a pillow that I don’t remember grabbing and turn my head to see him sitting on the edge of my bed. His eyes are locked on mine, watching me like I am the only thing in his world. “You don’t have any reason to stay.”

He doesn’t move, and I can’t tell if I’m happy he’s stayed or angry that he doesn’t respect me enough to leave.

“You are wrong, Chloe,” he whispers as I finally welcome the oblivion I’ve been searching for since I heard my brother is never coming home. The oblivion I have been trying to search for at the bottom of my brother’s last bottle of liquor.

Instead of telling him he’s the wrong one, I curl into the nest of pillows and blankets that offer the only warmth I want… at least that’s what I’ll keep telling myself until it is true.

“I have every reason to stay. One day, I’ll prove it to you. When you’re ready to face the truth. Right now, I can be your villain, if you need. I can be the one you blame. But that won’t stop how I feel. How I’ll always feel. And when you’re ready for it, my heart and the ring are both yours. They always will be.”

Ian’s words are the broken lullaby that finally chases away my demons, at least for a little while.

I dream that he brushes my hair out of my face and presses a kiss to my forehead.

“I love you, Chloe Young. No matter what you say or what happens that will never change.”

I have to be dreaming, right? Nobody can take all the hate… all the evil I’ve thrown at him and let it roll off his shoulders so easily. How can he tell me he still loves me? How can he promise forever when I can’t even let myself love him?

In my dreams, it’s easy to love him. Easy to forget that he came home and Kevin didn’t.

Maybe one day, my dreams can become reality. Maybe I can forgive him for choosing me over my brother.

Until then, all I have are the nightmares to keep me company.

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No Sweet Goodbyes is Now Available! EMMA AND DOM ARE HERE!!  I have literally struggled (in my son’s words – who says literally WAY too much) to come up with the right words to express how I feel about this release. I love this universe, and every release brings us a little closer to the end of this chapter. Emma and Dom may be meant for each other, but their trauma is real.  Check out what readers have said so far…  “I really fell in love with this one. Sobbed throughout, the whole story is filled with so much chaos that just fits perfectly.
It’s a rough ride for Emma and Dom, situations that force them to be in each other’s paths and moments that change everything.” – Leah on Goodreads “My heart is in bits and the tears won’t stop
I loved this book, I think it’s my favourite so far (even though I wanted to slap Dom so hard for most of this book…)” – Escape to the Pages on Goodreads “Damn, this hit so hard! Just when I think the series or re-writes can’t get any better, I am proved wrong. It was absolutely amazing.
I was absolutely stunned by Emma and Dom’s story.
The chemistry, the heart break, the HEA! It was everything!” – Kimberly on Goodreads  Make sure you grab your copy or read with Kindle Unlimited! read No Sweet Goodbyes now

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Chapter One – Emma

My lungs are on fire, my body aching with every step forward, and all I want to do is collapse into a puddle of nothing but sweat and death on the ground. Every breath I pull in feels like sweet agony, but I don’t stop.

I can’t stop.

Anyone who ever says they actually like running is a liar.

No one can possibly like this garbage feeling of death.

Still, I push myself harder and harder with every passing second. Not because I like it, but because running is the only way I’ll be able to reach my goals.

Running is the only way I can make my dead brother Danny proud… you know, from his cushy life beyond the grave.

I bet ghosts don’t have to run.

“Tacos,” I wheeze when I finally cross the finish line and collapse next to my best friend. “Someone needs to get me tacos. Maybe tequila with salt and a lime to bring me back from death, but I’ll settle for tacos.”

Kennedy sits there on the grass in the middle of the track at Birch Harbor High School with a stopwatch that she’s supposed to be using to time my laps, snoring. Her red hair covers her face and her arms hold the watch against her chest. She doesn’t have a care in the world while I’m practically dying.

“Are you kidding me?” I kick her leg from my place next to her, and she snorts in response. “Come on, Kennedy. I needed you to time me. The stupid physical fitness standards are ridiculous.”

She opens one eye and glares at me the way only she can, shoving her hair out of the way. “I’m going to kill you,” she mutters. “I was timing you. Until the last lap because you slowed way down and Nox could walk faster than you were moving.” She throws the stopwatch at me. “Now, let me go back to sleep.”

“But I want tacos,” I whine pathetically. “Can’t you sleep later? You know, when you’re home alone for the night because your stupid fiancé has to work? After we eat tacos.”

That gets her up. There are very few things in life that Kennedy will pass up, and tacos isn’t one of them.

“Fine, but we’re not going to Lucy’s. I want real tacos.”

That’s how we find ourselves all the way out at Alta’s Takeout, halfway to the island and an hour from Birch Harbor. But that drive is how we get the best tacos in the entire world. Alta’s place is the absolute best in the county, and maybe even the entire state, probably the entire Northeast, and she knows it. The older woman steps out from behind the counter, and I can’t help wanting to hug her. She can’t be more than five feet tall, and she has the type of curves that pinup models had in the fifties. Her black hair has silver streaks in it, and she’s just so stunning for someone my mom’s age that I can’t believe she has four kids.

“Alta,” I groan around one of the most delicious meals I’ve ever had. “I don’t know how you do it. But you make the best meat I’ve ever had in my mouth.”

Alta laughs, and Kennedy snorts from her seat across from me. I don’t care. They both know what I meant to say; it’s not my fault that running makes me crazy.

When I open my mouth to tell Kennedy to suck on a potato, she isn’t even looking at me. Instead, she’s staring over my shoulder with wide eyes, and my face flames as I realize we aren’t alone.

“Emma Hayes.” Alta claps her hands together, momentarily distracting me from the fact that I’m about to be embarrassed. “You kill me, niña. Dominic, why can’t you find a girl like Emma?”

I turn to see none other than Dominic Ortiz, Alta’s son, and the man who stars in every single one of my fantasies standing there with a strange look on his face while he watches me shove the last bit of one of my tacos into my mouth.

See, I don’t care how uncomfortable I get, there’s no chance I’m gonna give up the tacos that are on my plate. Even if I’m saying the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard come out of my mouth.

When he sees me staring, I swear I see him bite his lip before answering his mother. “Lo siento, Mama. There’s no woman out there like Emma.” His eyes lock on mine, and I can’t help the blush that creeps up my neck and into my cheeks.

How does he always know exactly what to say to make my panties melt without even trying?

“Damn straight,” I say with a nod, then I turn back to my plate. But I feel his gaze on me the entire time. And when he clears his throat and I dare to look up, we lock eyes again. I see the same desire there that I saw the night of Parker and Remy’s wedding.

Right before he vanished into thin air without so much as a kiss between the two of us.

Although, in the pale light of the hangover I had the next morning, it was more than clear that Dom isn’t the man for me. Not only is he a friend of my brother’s, but they served together overseas, and they work together at Birch Police Department. The last thing I need in my life is another controlling man, or another cop for that matter.

Knowing the truth and the harsh reality doesn’t mean I won’t continue to check him out every single chance I get.

A piece of potato hits the side of my face, and I look up to see Kennedy staring at me with huge eyes. “What the fuck was that?” She pops another fried potato into her mouth and glares when I don’t immediately give her an answer.

“Nothing?” I try for nonchalance, but it just comes out like a garbled mess of a question that I don’t know what to do with. “Nothing,” I try again with more conviction, but Kennedy isn’t buying any of the bullshit that I’m throwing her way.

“You never told me what happened at the wedding after me and Linc bounced out, you know.” Kennedy stares at me while spearing one of her potatoes with the plastic fork that Alma gives with all of her take-out orders. “Did something happen between the two of you? Something involving naked shenanigans?”

“No.” It almost feels impossible for my face to get even redder than it was before, but I still feel my skin grow hotter under her questioning.

“Holy shit,” she mutters mutinously. If it wasn’t me in the hot seat, I may have laughed at the comical way her eyes widen. “Something did happen between the two of you. Why don’t you tell me?”

Rather than answer her, I sit back in the booth and do my best to ignore the traitorous emotions that fill every pore of my being. Embarrassment, humiliation, rage, and a giant bowl of self-flagellation were the only things I took home from Parker and Remy’s wedding. And none of those emotions are things that I want to share with Kennedy. Not only is she one of my best friends, but she’s engaged to my older brother. The last thing any of us need is an awkward conversation about me getting rejected where Linc may have to defend my honor against one of his best friends.

When the alarm on my phone starts to go off, my heart stutters nervously in my chest. In my rush to devour the food in front of me, I almost forgot that I have plans.

Plans that must have stuck in the back of my mind on an unconscious level, because I haven’t had the tequila I wanted when I was running.

“I gotta go.” I stuff the last bits of my last taco into my mouth and pick up my trash, careful not to leave anything behind. “I’ll see you tomorrow? Same time and place?” Kennedy and I have a routine, and I have a goal in life that I’ll never accomplish if I don’t get my ass back out onto the track every day.

Kennedy sighs deeply and then nods, staring at her food like she’ll never eat again. “As soon as I get home, Linc’s gonna eat the rest of my food.”

“Nonsense,” Alta says suddenly as she pops up next to the table like a banshee appearing out of nowhere. “You’re going to take that man his own food and if he tries to eat yours, you stab him with this spork.” She waves the plastic utensil in the air like a weapon, and I almost pee myself from laughing so hard.

While Kennedy and Alta move to the counter and Alta starts getting a take-out container ready for her to bring home, I sneak out through the side door as quietly as I can.

“Where you going?”

I scream and whirl around, reaching out with my fist to hit first and think second. Except Dom knows exactly what he’s done and grabs my fist before it can connect with his chest because he’s so tall that I couldn’t reach his face without jumping.

“What the hell, Dom?” I grab my hand back and think about kicking him in retaliation for the heart attack I’m currently experiencing.

“You left without saying goodbye.” He shrugs, and I look up to see him run a hand through his beard, staring at me contemplatively. Like I’m a wild animal that he wants to put down.

Instead of sighing like a hormonal teen ready to fawn and gasp and flirt at the sight of the muscles in his arm flexing while he stares at me, I clear my throat and look down at my feet. “I’ve got nothing to say to you, Dom.”

“Don’t have anything to say my ass, bonita. There’s plenty to say.” When I don’t answer him and don’t even look up, Dom shifts so that he is directly in my line of sight and pokes me in the forehead. “Dios mío. You’re the most stubborn woman I’ve ever met in my life, you know that, right? And that’s saying something because I’ve got sisters and a mother that could try any man’s patience.”

That gets my attention, and I glare at him with every bit of the fury that I have at him rejecting me. “You’re in my way, Dom. I don’t want to have to call your mom out here. Or better yet, my brother to come and deal with your shit.”

“Oh.” Dom laughs out loud. “You mean the brother who literally called me on my way home to tell me that he saw your car here and that I should come sweep his pain-in-the-ass sister off her feet so that he could have his fiancée back? That brother?”

I want to slap the expression off his face, but I know I can’t reach. Instead, I kick the rocks at my feet and pretend that I’m kicking him in the shins. It’s either that, or I’ll climb him like a tree. I know better than that. Being with Dom will bring nothing but trouble, and I know he isn’t lying about my brother, either. Linc makes sure to point out that I’m stealing too much of Kennedy’s time. Every single day.

“Look.” I sigh deeply and turn my attention to Dom, trying not to let his beard melt my resolve. “I just want to go home. I’ve had a long day. I’m tired, and my muscles are starting to hurt from the run I went on before dinner. So unless you’re going to put your hands to use and give me a massage, I’m going.” I step around him, ignoring how little space there actually is between the two of us. “I’ll see you later, Dom.”

The entire drive home I think about what his hands on me would actually feel like, and all I can come up with is one word.

Heaven.

Too bad I’ll never get a chance to experience it.

I barely pull into my driveway by the time the sun goes down, and the telltale little girl with blond pigtails sitting on my doorstep is a sign that I’m almost late for the most important part of my day.

“You’re late,” Bianca chimes like an angel as she bounces up from my stairs when I finally grab all my bags and slam my car door. “But Momma sent me with a batch of lasagna for you if I can stay here tonight.” Her eyes dart across the street to her house, and I have to fight to keep a smile on my face when her dark-brown eyes fill with tears. “If you want me to.”

“Don’t worry, Bee.” I nod toward the front door. “You carry the lasagna. I got the goods, and we can stay up late with a movie, okay?”

Bianca Hart, whose parents bought the house across the street from me four years ago, is one of only two people in the entire world that I’ll blow off food for. Between her and my nephew, there isn’t much room in my life for anyone else.

Especially once I start getting ready for my next step in life. Then I probably won’t even have time for much of anything at all.

In the distance, even through the closed windows and doors of my house, I hear Bianca’s parents starting to fight, and I know our night is about to get worse, before it gets even the slightest bit better. And I know that if I don’t make the call, one of them will end up in the hospital, or worse. While Bee can’t see what I’m doing, I slip my phone from my pocket and send my big brother a text.

Emma

Linc… They’re at it again. Bee is here with me. Can you call it in like you’re driving by or something so I can take care of Bee?

Linc

I got it. Take care of her. I’ll handle them.

Sighing, I put my phone away and go back to work, distracting Bee from everything terrible the world feels like throwing at her.

“Tell me a secret, Emma.” Bee sits across the kitchen table from me while I put away all the groceries and junk I got at the store earlier. “Something nice.”

I look up from the bag of marshmallows I’ve been contemplating tearing into and see the tension in her eyes. The fear that her world is going to fall down around her ears and there’s nothing she can do about it.

It’s too much for a seven-year-old, that’s for sure. Swallowing down the sudden rock in my throat, I shut the pantry door and lean against it while I press my lips together in thought.

“Did you know…” I trail off, trying to come up with something. Bee stares at me like I’m about to answer all of life’s greatest questions, and I can’t let her down. Not with all the crap she has going on at home. “Oh.” I snap my fingers together in triumph, because who else should I let in on my deepest secret besides her? “Do you know what I’m training for? With the running and the working out, even though I hate it? I haven’t told anyone who doesn’t absolutely need to know.”

Bee shakes her head, her pigtails dancing on air with the movement. Her eyes light up with the excitement of a shared secret.

I step away from the wall, moving until I’m standing right next to her, and then I lean down so that we are face-to-face. “I want to make a difference,” I tell her quietly, even though there is no one else in the house to hear our conversation. “I want to do something for all the people in the world who don’t have anyone they can call for help. The ones who don’t trust the people coming to help them right now.”

Bee’s eyes, still bright with the excitement of what I’m telling her, start to fade slightly as her mind begins to process what I’m telling her.

“I’m going to train to be a police officer, Bee.” The smile and relief I feel for telling another person my secret vanishes the instant I see her shoulders slump. “Hey.” I pull her into my arms, wrapping her in a tight hug. “What’s wrong, little bee?”

Bee cries against my chest, and I can’t for the life of me figure out what’s wrong. What I said that broke her heart.

When she pulls away after what feels like forever, her face is red and her eyes swollen. Her sobs fade into hiccups and she stares at me like I’ve just stolen all her candy on Halloween.

“If you leave, who’s going to protect me from Daddy?”

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No Second Chances is Now Available! No Second Chances is Linc and Kennedy’s love story. Their journey is rough, and bumpy, and may be triggering for some readers. I try my best to include the real emotions and feelings and storylines. I know that some people like their stories to contain none of that… but I just can’t. My writing will always have those moments that grab you by the throat and refuse to let go. TROPES YOU’LL FIND IN THIS STORY 🧁 first love🧁 brother’s best friend🧁 damaged hero🧁 emotional wounds & HELLA trauma🧁 hero romance🧁 romantic suspense🧁 coming home🧁 survivor’s guilt read No Second Chances now

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Chapter One – Kennedy

“Maybe I should change into something different?”

Honestly, I look more like I’m ready to crawl into bed than to go pick up Remy from the airport. The black leggings and oversized shirt can almost pass for regular attire, but with the way my curls just stand out in any direction definitely gives me crazy cat lady vibes.

“You’re gorgeous,” Cassie says from her spot on my bed where she is comfortably curled up with my cat. “You’ve always been gorgeous and no one is going to notice that you look like shit, especially on Valentine’s Day.” She is too busy scrolling on her phone to see the death glare I shoot at her.

I sigh and then do the only thing I can think of to help my hair catastrophe. I put my mess of curls into a bun on top of my head using three hair ties. Yeah, my hair is that thick.

“Why aren’t you going again?” I glare at my sister in the mirror. “Got a hot date or something?”

“Actually, yes.” Casper, our other sister and Cassie’s twin, walks in with a flourish. “We’re going on a double date for the holiday. At this rate we’re going to be late.” She swats Cassie on the leg and snaps, “Hurry up. Let’s go.”

“It’s noon.” I look at my phone just to make sure time hasn’t passed so quickly that I’m not aware of it. “Why are you going on a date at noon?”

Cassie smiles broadly, looking for all the world like the evil twin she is. “Because,” she says serenely. “How else are we going to make them work for it if it’s not the middle of the day?”

“So gross.” I shoo them away. The very last thing I want to hear in the entire world is my seventeen-year-old little sisters talking about their sex lives. Let alone how they plan on making guys work for it.

“Seriously, though.” Casper interrupts my thoughts. “If you don’t want to go alone, we can reschedule. Picking up Remy is way more important than guys we can just see tomorrow.”

Touched by her willingness to reschedule her life just for Remy, I wave her away. “Go. You guys deserve to have a night out…” I roll my eyes. “Or day.”

“You do too, Kennedy.” Coming from Cassie, the compliment means so much, but we are definitely in it together. “The world isn’t going to end if you take a break. You’ve been working so hard.”

She is right. I am working full-time, going to school, and managing to get ahead—finally. Though I can’t stop, not now. Not when I’m so close to getting away, escaping. Putting everything that happened behind me, once and for all. Only a few more weeks left.

“Hey.”

I nearly jump out of my skin. Casper is standing right in front of me, and she just scared the hell out of me. I take several deep breaths while I wait for my heart rate to return to normal.

“We know you don’t want to talk about it. Not yet, at least. But we’re here and nobody deserves to walk around with that much on their shoulders at eighteen. Especially you.”

Good thing I haven’t put any makeup on yet. Suddenly I’m a hot mess. Tears stream down my face and hiccups rack my body, on top of everything else.

“Oh my gods,” I gasp. “Why can’t you guys just go already?” Laughing through the tears, I try to shoo them away again. Though they don’t leave.

Cassie pulls me into a tight hug, and I can feel the rage rolling off her in waves. “If I could kill him and get away with it, I would. Besides, there are plenty of lobstermen who would put a dismembered body in their traps for any of us. No questions asked.”

Sniffling, I shake my head. “Trust me. It’s not worth you going to jail. He’s not worth it.”

Casper snorts derisively, joining our hug. “Just wait. He’ll get what’s coming to him.”

Cocooned in their embrace, I feel like I’m a little kid again and nothing can hurt me. Which, after the year I’ve had, is more than deserved. They don’t seem ready to let go of the hug anytime soon, either. It only makes it even more annoying.

When I’ve had enough, I try to break away from their embrace, but they just squeeze tighter.

I croak, barely able to catch my breath. “Don’t you have a date?” I pull Casper’s curls and laugh when she gasps, swatting me away.

Cassie sighs and pulls her twin toward the door. She turns around and shoots me an evil glare. “Don’t you have a bunch of Marines to pick up at the airport?”

I know she is right even before I check the decorative clock on my wall. The giant Star Wars droid replica stares back down at me, a glaringly obvious reminder that I only have about an hour and a half to get there. Just barely enough time to get to Bangor and the airport in time. Normally, it wouldn’t be a problem, but I’m surprising Remy with his truck. His massive, ridiculously testosterone-filled truck that I can’t even get into unless I’m wearing leggings.

I actually tore a pair of skinny jeans once when I tried to heave myself into the truck. The problem with driving the monstrosity is that people have no consideration for the fact that I usually drive a Prius. My baby is about a fifth the size of the beast I currently find myself steering on the trip.

At least the drive gives me some time to think about what I’ll do with my favorite person in the whole world home for the next month. Although, admittedly, the last thing I want is to share my personal space, but I know it will be worth it. Having my big brother home is going to be amazing, especially after missing him when he was home the last time.

Absently, I rub at the scars on my wrist, trying not to think about that night and everything I’ve lost. Then, like the big girl I am, I pick up my feelings and shove them down deep. I plaster a smile on my face before I screech into the parking lot of the airport and scare the shit out of a few grandmas as I do so.

Everything is going just as planned, too. I’m ready to finally see my big brother. Until I see his best friend by his side and my entire world begins to tilt on its side.

* * *

Linc

“You’ve gotta be fuckin’ kidding me, man. Couldn’t it be anyone else?” Of course it has to be Remy’s sister who is picking us up from the airport on fucking Valentine’s Day. The same sister I was obsessed with and have been for years. The sister my best friend would murder me for even thinking of touching. And to top it off, Remy has to open his mouth about it right before my least favorite part of the flight.

I shut my eyes as the wheels of the plane hit the tarmac and shake all of us around like rag dolls.

“Hey,” my best friend and current enemy says with a smile. “It’s not my fault you and Kennedy got into it.”

My brother, the asshole on the other side of me, snorts. “They’re constantly fighting about something.”

“Shut up, Danny.” I open one eye and shoot him a glare. He doesn’t know shit about me and Kennedy. Nobody does, not really.

The way Remy stares at me with wide and knowing eyes says more than he does. Yeah, Kennedy and I got into it when she started dating one of the guys on my former football team. A guy I knew for a fact was a prick only out to get his dick wet. He was two years behind us, the same as Kennedy. I knew him and exactly how his brain worked. Hell, I had been him at one time. Absolutely no one treated Kennedy the way I knew he wanted to. At least, they didn’t act that way and walk away unscathed.

The plane finally comes to a stop and I unclench my fists. When the light above our heads turns off, I push Remy out of the way and grab my bag from the overhead bin. Yeah, I may have shoved him harder than I should have, but he deserves it. He has a complex and honestly thinks no one would use his sisters because of who he is. He doesn’t have a clue.

“Hey.” Danny slaps me on the shoulder. “I gotta use the facilities. Wait for me?” He doesn’t wait for a response, though. He just pushes his way through the crowd, practically sprinting to the bathroom.

Remy snorts as he drops his shit next to the nearest wall and takes a seat to wait.

“She was so pissed that last time we were home she didn’t even come to see us once.”

I almost miss the look on his face and I would have if I’d been staring at my phone’s screen like I had been a moment before. Instead, I was trying not to trip up the walkway with my heavy-ass bag on my shoulder.

He is obviously pissed, but there is more there. I’ve known the man since I was five years old and know all his expressions, every single one. I knew the expression he had when he was beating the snot out of some kid in third grade for putting Casper’s hair in paint. I knew the way he smiled when we graduated from boot camp. He is my best friend.. Yet his current expression almost stops me in my tracks. This is the closest I’ve ever seen him get to being afraid.

“Kennedy has a lot of shit going on.”

That’s all I get out of him for the next fifteen minutes while we wait for Danny, watching as everyone else clears out. Once we are alone, I give in. I’m hungry, and I really want to get something to eat. Maybe I can find a cheeseburger with extra fries.

“Are we gonna go?” I glance over to the bathroom. “Danny can just meet us out there… Or better yet, he can call a cab.”

“Hey.” Remy laughs. “It’s not my fault your brother is an idiot and had to shit his brains out. What do you want him to do? Take a cab the entire forty miles back to town?”

“Yeah.” I grab my bag. “That’s exactly what I want.”

Remy doesn’t even move as he calls out after me. “If you go now, you’re gonna end up alone with Kennedy. Anyway, I’m pretty sure she threatened to gut you the next time she sees you.”

His words have the intended effect. Immediately, I turn my ass around and sit down until Danny comes out of the bathroom a few minutes later.

“Let’s go already.” Danny lifts his bag onto his shoulder and has the audacity to pretend like we haven’t just waited for the past twenty minutes in the almost deserted lobby for him to finish blowing out the toilet.

He almost gets away with it, too. When we are walking past the bathroom on our way out, another guy practically runs us over in his rush to get away.

“You don’t wanna go in there,” he gasps. If it had been anyone but Danny in the bathroom, I’d have thought he was exaggerating. My brother has something seriously wrong with his gut. We used to leave the house when he had to use the bathroom. “Seriously. It smells like something died in there.”

Danny rushes away, and I can see the back of his neck turning red in embarrassment. We don’t let him go very far before starting in on him.

“Hey,” he defends himself. “At least I didn’t do it on the airplane.”

“Oh gods.” Remy laughs. “He’s got a point there.”

By the time we make it through the airport and down to baggage claim, I’ve almost forgotten who is picking us up. I managed to forget all about Kennedy Townsend and the way she made my heart race while we were gone. Still she never really strays far from my mind, and as soon as we step into the open area, I know exactly where she is.

Where Kennedy is concerned, I don’t have eyes or ears for anyone else. It’d been one of the reasons I joined the Marine Corps with my twin and her big brother. She had asked me to protect him, and of course I said yes. Always had and probably always would, even without her asking. I swear, I can practically smell her fruity perfume from across the room too.

“Kennedy’s here.” Remy nods toward the doors that lead to the parking lot. “Try not to piss her off anymore? I only get two weeks with her, and I don’t want her to shut me out.” That haunted expression is back, and every fiber of my being burns to know what it is that he is hiding.

My bag comes around the carousel, so I grab it along with Remy’s next to it. Danny, I leave to fend for himself while he is trying to chat up one of the women from the flight. Only to watch him curse and rush to get it before it vanishes behind the wall.

Belatedly, I answer Remy and hope he doesn’t notice the little white lie. “I’ll do my best.” I don’t have a choice though; I have to piss her off. If I don’t, I’ll end up doing something stupid, like kiss her, and then I’ll have to make her mine.

As it is, I know it is only a matter of time before I act on my feelings for her. I just need to figure out a way to keep my best friend in the process.

Then I see her, watching her brother from across the room, and I wish she was staring at me that way. Remy shoots me one sidelong glance, easily reading every single emotion I’m trying to keep hidden. His expression is very clear and I know our friendship, even my life, is on the line.

Shit is about to get messy.

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