Candi Sary's Blog

I'm thrilled to share my article in Zibby Mag that describes how writing my novel MAGDALENA helped me mourn the empty nest. Check it out here:

https://zibbymag.com/blog/i-wrote-the...

Dear Readers,

Is it really March 11th already? Only four months away from my novel’s July 11th release. I’m so excited to share MAGDALENA with you all!

The novel holds a special place in my heart. I began writing it the year my two kids went off to college. Faced with both the newness and sadness of the empty nest, I started working on a new manuscript. I thought I was writing a ghost story but my protagonist, Dottie, kept pulling me in another direction. The lonely woman had suffered four miscarriages. One day her fifteen-year-old neighbor Magdalena, a self-proclaimed ‘sensitive,’ came to the door and offered to conjure a ghost. Dottie was less intrigued with the girl’s supernatural abilities than with having a real live girl in her home. With each visit, Dottie began to secretly pretend that the girl was her daughter. Somehow this make-believe motherhood began to heal her broken heart—until Magdalena went missing. The plot is full of mystery and suspense, but at the heart of the story is Dottie’s longing for motherhood, and how she uses her imagination to heal her sadness. Only after I’d completed the first draft did I realize that writing MAGDALENA was my way of mourning the empty nest. Like Dottie, I was using my imagination to heal my own sadness.

Siel Ju, author of CAKE TIME says, “This dark and delicate novel is a mesmeric read.”

I hope you’ll add it to your Goodreads bookshelf: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6...

And if you’d like to preorder it, you can order from your local bookstore, or check out the links here: https://www.candisary.com

In the meantime, I’d love to hear what you’re reading right now. Feel free to share in the comments!

Best wishes,

Candi Sary

"I was a stay-at-home mom of two little ones when I started writing novels..." 


I did a guest blog post for "Janine's Confessions of a Mommyholic" about being a writer and a mom. Check it out here:
Janine's Confessions of a Mommyholic

Every day I walk my three small dogs around the block. It never fails that my youngest, a Shih Tzu named Littles, becomes Mr. Fearless when we get to one particular fence. Just as we round the second corner of our walk, Littles lowers his head, sticks his tail straight out behind him, and runs as fast as he can to a fence where a big dog lives. I have to drag my other two dogs to keep up with him. It's a tall backyard fence and near the bottom, there is a small peephole about the size of a silver dollar. By the time we reach it, the big dog is usually already barking and even howling as he shoves his nose into the hole. Littles comes along and shoves his own nose right back at the big dog's, barking into the peephole while jumping at the fence and wagging his tail. This same little dog, who freezes up and drops his tail between his legs at the park when a big dog approaches, becomes the aggressor when he's behind a fence. The peephole is his safe view into the big dog's world and he loves to use it for a brief ego boost.


When I got home from our walk the other day, I was reading an online article about a local man who was murdered. In the comments below the article, some woman made an inappropriate, heartless joke about his murder. She didn't know the man. The joke was more about his occupation and she tried to cleverly relate it to why he was killed. I can't imagine she would have said this in the physical presence of the readers, as most people would attack her heartlessness, but behind the safety of the computer, she had no threat. It made me think of my earlier walk with little Mr. Fearless and the protective fence. The internet was this woman's fence, and her peephole was the small box on the website that said: "Post your comment here." 

Bullying and serious internet aggression are something altogether different. This incident was more on the level of your average person getting a whim to post something she wouldn't be held accountable for. The woman struck me as someone who just got a quick dose of courage to throw out an outrageous comment. It's like my dog Littles. He's not a bully, but a really nice dog most of the time. He just likes to take that brief opportunity every morning to feel big and strong. I'm not sure what the woman online was trying to feel. Funny? Cool? Or maybe she just wanted to be noticed. I don't know her, so I can't know her heart. Judging her is useless, but using her as an example can be worthwhile. Have I ever been tempted to write something online that I wouldn't say in person? Of course. While her particular joke wouldn't have been my choice, I am certainly capable of voicing opinions that don't need to go out there. If I'm willing to stand behind my comments, and my intentions are pure, then I can speak my mind in good conscience. But if ever my thoughts and motives resemble Littles barking into the peephole, pretending he is something he's not, I will try to recall how pathetic false courage looks, and keep those comments to myself. 

There are plenty of positives having this computer peephole to the world. Everyone now has a voice, and the safety behind the computer gives people courage to speak out. That in itself can be a good thing. It starts getting negative when the little Shih Tzus out there lose all sense of their usual decorum for the sake of a quick ego boost, or a laugh, or even just an opportunity to be heard. I think it's a good idea while online to pretend that at any moment, the peephole could open wide up. Face to face with my readers, it would be best to choose words that feel right while looking into their eyes.  

I just re-read one of my favorite novels, The Highest Tide by Jim Lynch. One passage stuck with me and I haven't been able to get it off my mind. There is a scene where a woman asks the main character, Miles, how we know when we’re moving forward. Not understanding the way people always use the word "forward," Miles responds to the woman saying, “Crabs move sideways. They don’t worry about going forward or backward.” 

Something about reading that simple passage really hit me. I don't remember it from the first time I read the book, but this time it stood out. So I've been thinking about what it means to me right now in my life. 
As the kids have left for college, sideways movement sounds appealing. All those years raising them required a lot of forward movement-- sometimes even fast forward. There was always something to get done. And it wasn't only my own agenda moving me ahead. While teaching the kids about accomplishing and achieving I often held their hands to guide them forward. Whether it was homework, getting them to practices and appointments, or just helping them with life lessons, I was often caught up in their movement. Sometimes all that going forward generated such momentum that it just took over, and it was easy to miss some of the beauty around me- the plumerias blooming in the backyard, the full moon looking down on me, and even that great guy I married over twenty years ago. 

Now that the kids are off to college and I'm not holding their hands anymore, I'm adjusting and finding my own movement and pace. I still have goals set ahead of me, but they're not as constant or consuming. There's no denying I miss the kids like crazy and I even miss some of the hectic schedules that kept them close to me, but I am finding a new sense of peace in this next phase. I get to go sideways more often these days. Instead of always working in the garden to clean things up, some days I can be found just sitting in it and enjoying it. I've noticed how tall the palm trees have grown since we planted them when the kids were little. Instead of constantly moving forward to some destination on my busy schedule, I've been seen these last few weeks moving sideways to the neighbor's house, just to chat. And yesterday when my husband and I were walking along the beach, there was yet another sideways movement I notice I've been making more lately. As we walked, I moved sideways, leaning in closer to him, so that my arm was touching his arm. Now that it's just the two of us again, there's less urgency to always get somewhere, and more time and space to get closer. 
The warm sun on my skin, the sand beneath my feet, the soothing sound of waves, and the comfort of my husband by my side, I couldn't help but notice all the beauty around me.

Todd Dillard made a great suggestion when I asked for help with blogging. He said, "... take photos of interesting things you're doing, see, etc." And then Stephen Woodfin suggested, "Find something you can offer that is different." Well, here is a photo of something interesting and different. I see this everyday when I pass the window to my backyard. What is it, you ask? It's "creativity off the page." As a writer, I put so much of my imagination on the page, and yet this visual reminds me that life is full of opportunities to use imagination off the page. It's a lesson my outside-the-box thinking husband has been teaching me over the years. And so here's the story: 


Our backyard is just a modest size. That never stopped my husband from making it awesome. When our kids were young, he built a planter where our Guinea pigs could roam around and the kids could play with them. After a few years when the pigs were gone, our kids got into a new phase--remote control race cars. The planter came out and our backyard was transformed into a dirt race track. Kids would come over with their cars and the races would go on for hours. When that phase passed and both of our kids got into volleyball, turf was put in and a net was put up.  Most days after school, from junior high to high school, kids came over to play mini tournaments on the small 2-man court. Our little backyard always had a lot of action-- until this summer. 


Both of our kids have just moved off to college. My husband and I are empty-nesters for the first time and adjusting to the quiet around here. I'm spending more time writing, and my husband has taken up golfing. As I should have expected, he has changed our modest  backyard to fit this new phase in our lives. It's not a drastic change, but it does the job. He took an old shower curtain and hung it over the volleyball net, then set a small golf mat to practice hitting balls. A shower curtain in the backyard is an odd look as you can see, but it reflects the creative approach my husband has always taken as our family has gone through changes. It's actually kind of nice hearing the whack of the golf ball in the late afternoon--complete quiet there in our backyard makes me miss the kids too much. So while I'm continuing to use my creativity on the page to make the best of my fictitious stories, my husband continues using his creativity off the page to make the best of our real story.