Seth David Chernoff's Blog

I have been moving through a period of transition, which my dearest friend Mark Gerzon termed my “midlife crisis” – of which he is intimately familiar. I find fault with the phrase for a multitude of reasons – primarily the languaging, but not least of which is how it overly simplifies our experience. He is likely right, but if I am going to embrace it, I have to relate to it.

Let’s begin by defining the phrase:

Midlife: “the central period of a person’s life, generally considered as the years from about 45 to 55.” – of course we know this isn’t exactly true – none of us know how much life we have to live so how could we possibly determine a midpoint. Secondly, it’s based entirely on perception, which is unique as our fingerprints.
Crisis: “a time of intense difficulty, trouble, or danger.” – better but it implies negativity when the most beautiful part of the process is the new beginning or re-awakening.

We like to give names to moments and transitionary periods, but why? Is it the comfort we experience – our attempt to give meaning or obtain clarity through languaging? When we can give it a word: birth or death, marriage or divorce, sickness, cancer, retirement, awakening, crises; then we can define it and as such relate to it. Without a word, it almost doesn’t exist – it doesn’t feel real.

It also implies that we receive only one, occurring at a certain period of time defined as halfway through our life…which again we know is irrelevant. In reality, we embrace this transformation as often as we like and potentially experience multiple throughout our lifetime. Secondly, it has the potential of being one of the most magnificent experiences of our life.

For me, I have made the decision that its not a “midlife crisis” at all, but instead a rebirth, a beautiful new beginning. By renaming my moment, I am defining it by something I can better relate to. I liken it to starting over – a clean sheet of paper on my desk with which to design the rest of my life, with a few caveats. I am able to take the very best parts with me, and let go of anything that doesn’t work or support me. I am allowed to carry along all my wisdom and knowledge, insight and awareness, with the additional opportunity to release my fears, inhibitions, pettiness, judgment, and desire for control. I get to pick and choose what my future will bring.

Of course we get to experience it anytime we want – we can start over in any moment of life, but there is no time like the now. We are afforded new beginnings as often as we desire, but what makes our “midlife crisis” unique is that it is apparently unavoidable and in the moment appears insurmountable. It is almost as though it happens TO us as opposed to BY us.  For me, it’s requiring some of the deepest soul searching since my youth as its a new definition of what it means to be truly alive. Now that I have renamed it as my New Beginning, it doesn’t feel insurmountable at all, and instead I welcome it with open arms and an almost giddy excitement.

Clearly there is more to come…only time will tell. Until then, onward and upward,

Seth

Mark’s book: Listening to Midlife – Based on interviews with a wide variety of men and women and research on the literature of adult development, Mark Gerzon answers the question, “Is it possible that human beings experience a profound metamorphosis in midlife?” with a resounding “yes.” – http://www.amazon.com/Listening-Midlife-Mark-Gerzon/dp/1570621683

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What is Success?

The age old question of what defines success. It’s more important than we care to acknowledge as it’s the basis for our inner weather, the benchmark through which we analyze our life, and whether we like it or not our happiness depends on it.

Success = the achievement of our desires, the accomplishment of a purpose or thing.

Instead of judging the desires themselves, we accept that success is relative. In essence, the size of the desire is irrelevant, the desires in comparison to those around us are unimportant – what matters is that it’s achieved and is of significant value – no need to compare or contrast against anothers’ achievements.

Achieving Success

In order to fulfill our desires, we require drive, willpower, passion and/or motivation, but first we need direction. We are all driven, whether for trivial means such as waking up, eating, using the amenities, or for larger desires such as holding public office, making a difference in the world, raising a family, building a global enterprise, or inventing something to positively impact the world. As Maslow defined our hierarchy of needs, clearly its relative to the motivation of the individual.

As we accept that success is relative, we don’t judge one persons desires or success against our own. For example – we accept that success isn’t based on intelligence – otherwise the smartest people would be the wealthiest, happiest, and most fulfilled (which we know is not the case). We accept that success isn’t limited to a particular age, race, gender or nationality, nor is it limited to a certain demographic or psychographic. I am sure that certain trends could be determined with sufficient empirical data, but if we stay in the theoretical for a moment, we have the ability to change our perception around success to make it definable and attainable, which makes it achievable.

With this premise, we conclude that anyone has the ability / propensity to find/achieve success. Put more succinctly, no matter your background or situation, success is achievable as a function of the goals set forth combined with the choices made. If you define success as something so far out of reach that it’s incomprehensible, you will not achieve it. If you define success as something trivial, you will lack the fulfillment required to achieve such a desire, and even upon achievement, you will not feel successful. (Clearly the enlightened soul would find success in the moment regardless of circumstance – they would not need to achieve a desire, as the desire and achievement would be instantaneous, and in some cases irrelevant).

Definable and Attainable

For most us, success is illusive, and as such, our ability to better understand what drives us holds the key to accessing the happiness and success we inherently desire. Achieving success revolves around it being DEFINABLE and ATTAINABLE.

Definable meaning that its quantifiable – if we cannot quantify it, we cannot measure it, and we have no way of knowing if it has been achieved.

Attainable meaning that its achievable, that we think / believe know its possible.

If success is required for happiness, and success cannot be measured, then happiness will continue to be illusive. If we set desires or goals that are definable and attainable, suddenly success is within reach because with clarity of focus, drive, willpower, passion and/or motivation can do their part. With a clear destination, we no longer hesitate in the moment – our destination becomes a certainty in our mind – and with that, we are unstoppable.

Until next time friends,

All my best,

Seth

PS – I hope by now you have realized that happiness cannot be achieved if your definition of success is merely wealth.

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The NEW YEAR is upon us, and it’s my favorite “holiday” of the year. Not necessarily the “event” itself but what it signifies.

Our opportunity to not only reflect upon the past, but benchmark against the future.
The one guaranteed time we allow ourselves to dream, to re-purpose our intention, and to create the framework toward the manifestation of everything we desire.
We forgive ourselves for our misgivings and failures, and find hope and faith, reminding ourselves that anything is possible.
We cry a final tear for the pain in our heart, and looking forward we release anything that stands in our way.
We give thanks for all the magnificent blessings, and send our love to those near and far.
We breathe, finding solace if even for a moment for the marathon around the bend.
We embrace the excitement for what is yet to come.

This reprieve is only that, a pit stop to recalibrate our GPS, fill our tanks, and lunge forward into the future.

Transitions are an inevitable aspect of this life, like the eternal motion of the ocean.

They shift but never wane, like the cycle of life. It’s time to reflect on the past as we look to the future. For me, 2014 was the year of many things, but more than anything, a hiatus from my Manual For Living work even as I broke the six-figure sales mark selling over 100,000 copies.

If you don’t have it or are searching for the best NEW YEARS Gift Ever? Well of course, you can get it here: Manual For Living! Either way, thank you for your support.

With that, I almost ready to complete the final work in the series: PURPOSE, a brief excerpt below:

Perfection is a commitment to growth, to excellence, and the never-ending quest to become the beings to which we are destined.

We are one and the same, the Yin and Yang, black and white, good and bad, for it is all one and the same in the world in which we live. Acceptance of our own self in our entirety allows us to accept the fullness of others in order that we can see the best in ourselves and the greatness in those around us. We can grow within ourselves and our communities, not by avoiding mistakes, but by embracing them. – Manual For Living: PURPOSE (Coming soon)

The 2014-2015 TOP Four Most Popular Blog Posts of all time at SethChernoff.com:

Interesting Facts, Population Statistics, Death Statistics, Fun Facts, Random Facts
Codependency, Enabling Behavior, Tough Love
10 Powerful Ways To Get Positive, Positive Thinking Techniques When Stuck In A Rut
Don’t Give Up, Overcoming Obstacles and a True Motivational Story

In light of the past, we look to the future. May the NEW YEAR bring you the very best the world has to offer. May you not only dream, but watch as your dreams come to fruition. May you let go of anything that stands in your way, and may you allow yourself to smile, love, and enjoy the fullness of this moment.

Sending you much love…and until next year,

All my blessings,

Seth

The post Transitions Are Inevitable – Like the Motion of the Ocean, Happy New Year appeared first on Spiritual Growth, How To Be Happy - Seth David Chernoff – Manual For Living.

We go to the eye doctor on a regular basis to have our eyes examined and inevitably we require a stronger prescription, although sometimes our prescription actually improves. Either way, it changes perhaps as we age, as a function  of our lifestyle, or based on how we care for our eyes.

We also have a lens through which we see and experience the world, a lens that acts a filter, disseminating and often adjusting our perception of  reality, combining bits of information we process and subsequently respond to. That lens obtains information that supports whatever perspective we maintain in any given moment. If we are happy, we may identify and relate to happy experiences. If we are sad, we may fixate upon sad events to commiserate with.

Regardless of our inner weather, we will gather evidence to support whatever point of view we maintain.

Much like getting our eyeglasses or contact lenses adjusted, our field of vision as determined by the lens through which we see the world can be blurry, convoluted, foggy, or simply distorted. As the window through which we process information, transition beyond our current or historical perspective becomes challenging at best. Imagine you awake in the morning with a negative point of view desperately seeking happiness, yet as a result of the filter through which you experience life, you are unable to access the positive vibrations around you which would actually assist you in shifting your perspective, and instead see continual reminders of the negativity surrounding you. This experience is similar to purchasing a car and immediately seeing the same vehicle on the road everywhere you go.

Just as we have our teeth cleaned, our health assessed, and our eyes examined, we must assess the state of our lenses, the filters through which we see and experience everything around us. It is through these filters that we not only make decisions, but make determinations about what life means, if and where we belong, and what we do next. Yes this is the perfect moment, not specific to this time of year, but because you are a seeker, and one who desires more, whether in the form of happiness or fulfillment.

How To Know If Your Filter is Distorting Your Perception of Reality:

Before you obsess with your next steps in life, take a moment to analyze the filter through which you see the world. This list is by no means conclusive but ask yourself the following questions as a starting point to help you determine where you lie in the spectrum.

Irrespective of your actual reality, do you naturally fixate on drama or negativity?
Is your perception one that supports your victimhood, your pettiness, or your mediocrity? One that supports your greatness?
Regardless of what is spoken from others, are you inclined to misinterpret, overreact, or misunderstand and get frustrated in the process?
Are you gathering support for the lack in your life, or naturally focusing on the abundance around you?
Do you regularly complain about situations that don’t live up to your expectations?
Are you constantly reminding yourself of how you think life should be different?

Change Your Filter and Change Your World!

Take a moment to set the benchmark for your life. What is it you really want? Are you willing to do whatever it takes to follow your purpose, to find happiness and fulfillment, and to experience the fullness life has to offer? If so, clean your lens, and relax your filter. We can experience the greatness of life, or the negativity – there is plenty of either to go around. Choose wisely as we are often unconscious with regard to how we approach life, yet our needs and desires are real.

Be conscious to how you perceive your world.  Choose to see the greatness. Avoid complaining. Take life one moment at a time. See the magnificence not only in yourself but all around you. 

Anything is possible, but not if you are blind to its existence. Open your eyes…

Many blessings and happy holidays,

Seth

The post Is Your Filter Distorting Your Perception of Reality? appeared first on Spiritual Growth, How To Be Happy - Seth David Chernoff – Manual For Living.

What is our fascination with superheroes and Comic-con? In 2013, over 130,000 people attended, and in 2014, it will likely be far more as endless troves of fans descend upon the San Diego convention center.

Are we obsessed with any reality not our own? Are we fascinated with the opportunity to dream and almost experience a world of super-human abilities from X-men to the Avengers, or Superman to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Are our lives so mundane that we require respite from complacency?

We are sold the American dream through celebrities and super-heroes, the wealthy and the uber-successful, as we dream of lives free from worry, with more money and toys than one could ever imagine. Conceptually we understand that irrespective of our possessions, we are all human. Regardless the number of commas on our bank balance, we still sit upon the porcelain palace and regularly excrete the toxins from our daily life. Notwithstanding the title on our business card, we still suffer from illness and physical pain, and with no regard for our physical beauty or the color of our skin, our physical body will die at some point.

What do we truly seek if not to find fulfillment within the mundane and the seemingly rote aspects of our life?

Even BillGates,

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We never know the full extent of the difference we make in our world. Sometimes we have an inkling, a minor perception of our impact, but the ripples of our contributions extend far beyond even our greatest comprehension.

The value of our life can only be determined from within ourselves, and not from outside. It’s not defined by our job title, the size of our bank account or stock portfolio, the size of our house, or the number of children beneath our roof. We all know this conceptually but it bears repeating.

The value of our life is determined by the quality of every moment, by our ability to live our truth and find fulfillment by showing up as the fullness of ourselves.

Achieving benchmarks allow us to self-reflect, to gain perspective, and often to obtain insight into what is to come. In retrospect, it has been 22 years since I left my childhood home, 14 years since my first cancer diagnosis, and almost 4 years since I published Manual For Living. Our past is not a delimiter of our future, but only a map, a perception, one perspective as to where we have been.

When I published my books, like many authors I was convinced they would be a success. Initially I believed that success was a reflection of the number of books sold, but quickly realized it was for the difference they would make in my life and the lives of others. After 100,000 sales and downloads, and the feedback and many emails I have received, I do consider it a success but perhaps not in the manner you might expect.

I embraced early on that if I were able to change even ONE person’s life for the better, it would all be worthwhile, because through impacting even one soul I would make the world a better place.  As I move forward with my life and find myself very busy with new and exciting work, I can forget. I believe we can all use a reminder from time to time of the powerful difference we make in our world.

Yesterday, I received the following email:

Hi, my name is CJ.

I am a young man, 27 years old from Philadelphia, Pa.

I wanted to take the time and thank you for taking the time and instilling wisdom and knowledge into my life. Your book “Manual for Living, Reality” has been a blessing in my life. I strive to live by each principle I’ve read and learned in your book.

I’ve struggled in my walk in Christ just to see what God’s plan for my life, direction he wants me to go and be a good example in my children’s life. They look at me at me and see their father and smile which bring so much joy in my life. The courage to say I can make it, greatness is here and Live to see God’s purpose for my life.

Again, thank you.

Have a blessed evening.

CJ, thank you for reaching out – but most importantly for listening and for following your truth. Today, you have impacted my life, and through your note to me and my post here, you will have impacted many others.

Many blessings to you all,

Seth

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By now perhaps you’ve written off many of your New Years Resolutions. For some, your new exercise equipment is already gathering dust, your bad habits may have re-emerged, and your resolve in personal transformation has waned. But in truth, it doesn’t matter as you have the opportunity to fully transform your life right now, in the present moment before you.

“We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” – Albert Einstein

Perhaps your life is perfect and everything you desire it to be? If so, this probably isn’t the article for you. Alternatively, if you desire more out of life – if you feel that happiness, prosperity and fulfillment are at your fingertips, then this might be JUST what the doctor ordered. If your life feels heavy, painful, stressful, exhausting, or if getting out of bed is the hardest part of your day as you wonder how to pay your bills, recover from illness, or fulfill your dreams…then read on.

Parallel Reality

There is a version of your life absent the problems you face. Perhaps it’s merely a feeling or an inner knowing, but visualize a version of your current experience free from problems and surrounded by health, happiness and prosperity. It might seem like an illusion, but in many ways so is your life, so you might as well choose the illusion that serves you.

Take a moment to breathe in your perfect life, your dream life, and bask in the feeling of freedom, a release from the problems that plague you, one that embraces your desires and lets go of all that stands in your way. Feel the sensation, breathe in the fresh air, and relax into the “reality” of your illusion.

Congratulations, YOU ARE ALIVE!

You have the opportunity to create your life exactly as you desire, in this moment, and in every present moment before you.

Spiritual Problem Solving

It is interesting how we try to fix our problems head on, attempting to push through, work longer or harder. You keep doing the same things over and over again, expecting a different outcome as if it would somehow fix itself. You go to sleep hoping to awake with resolution.

Change It Up!

You can’t continue the same patterns, routines, and perspectives while expecting everything to suddenly transform. You need to alter your perspective, get clear on who you want to be, and focus on the resulting actions. Change up your routine, shake up your patterns!

Step out of your office or leave your house. Drive a different way to work, alter your exercise routine, or try something new like meditation, yoga, journaling, or reading a new book. Wear a different pair of shoes, eat something else for breakfast, or take your dog for a walk before work. Wake up 15 minutes early, spend more time communing with nature, or express yourself more. Stop reading the news, step away from your electronics, or reconnect with those you love. Unplug from reality and bring the best parts of yourself to the world before you. SHAKE UP YOUR REALITY, and get out of your rut.

OWN UP!

First and foremost, own up to your reality. You aren’t a victim – you are a co-creator. The sooner you accept that reality, the sooner you are empowered to affect change in your life. You can’t show up to the present moment with the same perspective you used to create the problems you face and expect a different outcome.

Now that you are empowered, allow yourself to shift, evolve, adapt, and transform. If you aren’t happy with your life in its current incarnation then CHANGE, EVOLVE, ADAPT, AND TRANSFORM YOURSELF. If your life isn’t everything you want it to be, affect change in your life physically, emotionally, spirituality and intellectually. Alter your perspective, mix-up your routine, and even pretend until your dream becomes a reality. Step out of your box and into the fullness of who you really are.

You are the problem AND the solution.

Inevitably you will discover that you are the only one standing in the way of your success. You are the one preventing you from achieving your dreams and desires. You need merely look in the mirror for the source of your anguish – and for the power to change.

What do you really want in life? Happiness? Love? Healthy? Prosperity? Joy? Fun? Travel? Peace? Harmony?

It’s now, and it’s you.

There are a few constants here. First, any experience however positive, happens in the now moment. Second, you are the only one standing in the way of what you truly desire. Lastly, it’s NEVER TOO LATE.

What Now?

Choose, and then act. Don’t take my word for it – just give it a try.

Choose who you want to be and the life you desire.
Act in a manner consistent with the life you want to live.

Sound superficial? Impossible? Out of reach? Unreasonable? NOT TRUE!

Remember, your current life is the direct result of who you have been being. If you want it to be different, you have to change WHO you are and the ACTIONS you take – no matter how superficial they may seem. There is NOTHING out of reach…everything you desire is not only accessible to you…it is waiting patiently in the shadows.

You can choose to obsess about your problems, or you can focus on the endless beauty that surrounds you. Yes you will get discouraged and might even lose your way from time to time…but just as it was lost, it can be found.

Your opportunities are unlimited, but your time, however illusory it may seem, is not.

This is your NOW moment to choose, act, and live the fullness of yourself. Forget about your failures, or the new years resolutions that didn’t survive the month. Choose NOW for everything you truly desire.

Your profession matters little.

You can’t predict where your path will lead, or how the universe will provide. You can only trust that you are worthy, and that your path and purpose are worthy. Regardless of whether you are a janitor, teacher, blue-collar worker, politician, or author – you life matters, and your contributions matter.

You cannot fail, but only step forward on your path.

To live in fear is not living at all. To choose courage where success is not guaranteed is the only path to happiness and fulfillment. Don’t be attached to outcome, or you are assured disappointment. Instead, be attached to the pleasure of the process, to the pride in choosing greatness, in living the fullness of your life, in choosing to express the fullness of who you are.

Happiness is yours for the having – yours for the taking…and it’s worth it…you are worth it. Happiness not a result of the actions you take, but of who you choose to be in the process.

It’s not WHAT you are doing, but WHO you are being, and its NEVER too late.

Happy New Year! May all of your dreams and desires come to fruition this year. May you find happiness, health and prosperity.

Many beautiful blessings,

Seth

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Retrospection …

is often the word of choice this time of year, as we prepare for a new beginning and analyze and assess our progress to date. We review and judge the things that went right, and those that went horribly awry. We benchmark our success and catalog our failures, and sometimes those of our family, our children, etc. We berate ourselves for abandoned new years resolutions, and anticipate those we will attempt again.

We compare ourselves to those around us and wonder why we haven’t achieved or obtained more. We look ourselves in the mirror and notice differences, variances…perhaps we are aging, gaining weight, adding a few wrinkles, losing hair in certain places and growing it in others. In between the craziness of the holidays, we analyze and contemplate, conceptualize and prepare for what we believe is the potential for a new beginning.

But first – STOP!

Pause, breathe, freeze frame, halt, break…take a respite. In order to figure out where we are going, we must first get clarity on exactly where we are. For this, I invite you to complete the Life Inventory Worksheet (New Year’s edition) to take a current snapshot of your life – no charge. Consider it my gift to you, or more accurately YOUR gift to you. You can watch the short explanation video and download it here. (You may want to do that first, and then proceed).

Looking for specific New Years Resolution Tips? You can find my favorite planning guides here:

Your New Years Resolutions Planning Guide – http://www.sethchernoff.com/spirituality/your-2013-new-years-resolutions-planning-guide/
Five Ways to Succeed With Your New Years Resolutions and Intentions – http://www.sethchernoff.com/enlightenment/five-ways-to-succeed-with-your-new-years-resolutions-and-intentions/

However, there are three things I believe would be of tremendous value to you this season:

Don’t use the outcome of your past as the delimiter for your future. Everything you see around you is the result of who you have been being and the actions you have taken (in the past). Who you are being NOW in this moment, is the basis for your FUTURE. Try not to obsess about what ISN’T working in this moment – but instead focus your energy on WHO you want to be, the ACTIONS you want to take, and the future you desire.
Trust and have faith that everything will work out – it always does in time, but rarely if ever accordingly to plan or on our schedule. Be patient…and keep breathing.
Laugh and have fun. No matter what happens from this point forward, whether your dreams come true or you stumble and fall – try to enjoy the journey. Best-case scenario – you will have a fantastic time AND manifest what you desire…and worst case, you had an amazing time along the way…and you get back up, dust yourself off and try again.

We have nothing to lose by taking risks and living the fullness of who we know ourselves to be. Our only risk is living a life of petty obscurity, in hiding, afraid to be ourselves.  Challenge yourself to BE more, to STEP FORWARD in strength and passion – and I will see you there.

Wishing you a most magnificent transition to the New Year – may your life be the full expression of who you truly are.

Many beautiful blessings,

Seth

The post How NOT to Fail – Best New Years Resolution Tips appeared first on Spiritual Growth, How To Be Happy - Seth David Chernoff – Manual For Living.

Do we make life harder than it needs to be?

We tend to over-complicate things, making life more challenging than necessary. Sometimes I think we are taught that the harder way or the more difficult path is the better path, but that statement couldn’t be further from the truth.

For a simplified example, when booking an airline ticket – why don’t they automatically filter for non-stop flights? Do we really NEED to tell them that non-stop is a preference – isn’t it implied that we would PREFER to get where we are going in the most expeditious manner possible? Sure, there is the odd one or two who may prefer a layover, but for the rest of us, don’t we want the shortest distance from where we are to our destination?

Do you ever use your navigation program or Google MAPS for directions and it gives you multiple paths to your destination? It normally defaults to the quickest path, but you have the option to choose the longer drive. The same goes for life – we are naturally presented with the shortest distance between where we are and where we want to be – but we don’t always choose that path. For one reason or another, we make choices along the way that postpone our arrival, and the same can be said for our life in general.

When we know what we want, why do we take the LONG WAY to get there? Why do we make life harder on ourselves?

Let’s talk about HAPPINESS for a moment. Is it achievable? Can we just CHOOSE happiness or do we have to get married first? Do we have to make a lot of money before we can be happy? Do we have to obtain or achieve something in our life BEFORE we can be happy? Do we have to RETIRE to find happiness? (No need to respond – we all know the answers.) We know that THINGS can’t make us happy, and outside circumstances cannot make us happy in and of themselves. Why can’t we just BE happy and then go out into life and explore everything the world has to offer.

Like every other blog or article on the internet, I can list the “5 ways to find happiness” or the “10 reasons to make life easy” or the “4,837 things everyone should do to find harmony”, but honestly I tire of every article title written that way. So instead, I am going to practice what I preach and simplify even further…

Want to make life easy? Release your inhibitions and allow yourself to appreciate to the moment before you.

What does that mean? Find happiness now – not tomorrow, not as a result of some thing or someone – just choose happiness.

No matter what happens, one thing is guaranteed. You will be happy – and at that point, does anything else really matter?

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What does it mean when you get “cold feet?” No, it’s not what your wife puts on your back when you get into bed.  It’s anxiety, nerves, timidity, and fearfulness around a particular course of action.

Why do we get cold feet, whether it’s in relation to purchasing something, marrying someone, or committing to some area of our life?

A member of my family was recently under contract to purchase a home nearby. They were very excited throughout the entire transaction, but suddenly…right before closing they got “cold feet” – second thoughts. It’s happened to all of us at one point in time or another where we are inundated with emotion toward something we were previously smitten over. Why does it happen and what is it all about?

I liken it to the early stages of relationship.

During the dating process, we are enamored with each other – we cannot get enough of who we perceive the other person to be. Conceptually we know that both parties are projecting their own desires onto the other, but we wouldn’t want to miss out on what is often a most glorious and spectacular process – enjoying the rose-colored glasses for as long as they last.

The problem rears its head eventually as we all know far too well – we begin to see cracks in the silver lining. Suddenly we see scars where previously only beauty. We see struggle were previously only happiness. We start to see the other party not as a reflection of perfection, but of humanness, of realty. We begin to see the other person for who they really are, for their strengths AND their struggles.

It’s not that the issues weren’t present beforehand, but we were unable or more accurately unwilling to give credence to them. Remember, it’s not just the world that changes, but we who change and adapt in reflection to the world around us. Read a book twice, and it’s not the words that have changed, but it’s us that has evolved in the process.

The REAL question – are your “cold feet” rational?

Are your cold feet a sign or an omen that you need to change course, or are you fearing the unknown, or perhaps the future? Is your intuition going into overdrive attempting to tell you something, or are you paralyzed, allowing your lower vibrations, your pettiness and insecurities to hijack your decision making process.

Remember, there is no wrong or right – only who we choose to be and the choices we make.

Be clear about what you are feeling and experiencing. The only advice I can give you is to take a breath, pause and reconnect with something that will allow you to ground and recenter yourself. If all else fails, just take a walk – and I promise…your life will still be there when you get back. As for my family member with cold feet – a nice walk and those feet warmed up beautifully.

Until next time, many blessings,

Seth

 

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