Judy Davis's Blog

Military Spouse Opportunity: End The Job Hunt Cycle With This Franchise Giveaway

Are you tired of looking for a new job with every PCS? Tried other home-based businesses and it’s just not a fit? Maybe you have dreams of owning your own business but there just hasn’t been the right idea or military spouse opportunity.

As a member of the military community, it can be challenging to find a rewarding career that can actually move with you. Personally it’s one of the reasons I love entrepreneurship. I can shift and pivot despite the crazy military lifestyle. But taking an idea and building an entire business from the ground up isn’t a fit for everyone.

Another option for those of us with an entrepreneurial spirit is franchise ownership.

A franchise business is a business that you own and run. The difference is that instead of creating everything yourself, you purchase a license to sell goods or services that have been developed by someone else . In addition you obtain the rights to use established systems along with their business logo, name, and business model of the franchise owner. Franchises are an extremely common way of doing business and very attractive to the novice entrepreneur.

Sound intriguing right?

If you have ever wondered if owning a franchise might be YOUR answer, here is an opportunity that you don’t want to pass up!

The EventPrep® $200,000 Franchise GiveAway for Military Spouses is open to spouses of active military service members from any of the five branches of the U.S. military (Army, Marine Corps, Navy, Air Force and Coast Guard). It’s easy to enter!

✓ STEP 1 – Complete Easy Entry Form at MilitarySpouseGiveAway by July 15, 2018.

✓ STEP 2 – Submit on-line Candidate Profile Form by July 25, 2018.

✓ STEP 3 – Top 25 candidates announced on July 31, 2018.

✓ STEP 4 –Top 25 candidates create & submit a 2 minute “Why Me” video and complete a Personality Assessment by August 17, 2018.

✓ STEP 5 – Videos from the Top 10 candidates announced and posted online on August 20, 2018. America can vote from August 20, 2018 through September 14, 2018.

The five GRAND PRIZE WINNERS of OPERATION: EventPrep® $200,000 Franchise GiveAway for Military Spouses will be announced Monday, September 17, 2018, and each will receive a complimentary EventPrep® franchise valued at $40,000.

When thinking about franchising, people often wonder what the advantages and disadvantages are. Here are a few points that will help you decide what’s the best option for you.

Franchises offer important pre-opening support: site selection, design, construction, financing, training, and a grand-opening program.

Franchises offer ongoing support: training national and regional advertising operating procedures, operational assistance, ongoing supervision and management support, increased spending power, and access to bulk purchasing.

Franchises have a Lower Failure Rate

The main disadvantage of owning a franchise is that you must conform to the rules and guidelines of the franchiser, which can include location, products, resale and more.

Being a military spouse ending the cycle of the job hunt is key to reducing stress and reaching our goals. Who knows, you may be able to do both as an owner of an Eventprep Franchise!

 

*This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Eventprep Franchise. All opinions are entirely my own.

~ Judy Davis, The Direction Diva is a motivational speaker, entrepreneur, author and host of the Mighty Parenting Podcast. She is a small business and teen suicide prevention expert as well as an influencer in the military spouse community. Judy is passionate about providing programs and resources to families across the nation and is the CEO of DASIUM a brand leading the way in depression, addiction and suicide prevention in teens and young adults. Judy’s books Right Side Up and Warning Signs: Is Your Teen at Risk are go to resources for families. To hire Judy or Connect with her visit TheDirectionDiva.com

The post Military Spouse Opportunity: End The Job Hunt Cycle With This Franchise Giveaway appeared first on JUDY DAVIS TheDirectionDiva.

Tips for Managing New Mom Stress from a Military Spouse

From the moment you hear a heartbeat, the enormity of what lies ahead hits you full on and mom stress becomes a real thing. Whether it’s your first or fifth time becoming a new mom it is always a challenge. A new family member changes everything and brings with it a new normal that over time will unfold naturally. But what do you do when you are sleep deprived and unsure whether it’s day or night? How do you balance life as a military spouse and the demands of being a new mom?

With the help of our friends at 1 Natural Way, I’m sharing some simple strategies for managing stress along with how to that are sure to have you rocking the new mom thing in no time:

Allow others to help you:

 

It’s easy to feel like you have to don your supermom cape and handle it all. But the quickest way to relieve stress is to allow others to help. Don’t be afraid to be specific in asking for the kind of help you need. Everyone is different, some new moms need help with the baby, others want help with the kids, house, laundry and meals. There is no right or wrong as to how you receive help, so ask for what YOU need.

Invite others to be part of the feeding process:

 

Long gone are the times where mom is the only one who can be part of the feeding process. Your spouse, an older sibling, family members or a friend can give you a much-needed break and get some bonding time with the help of a bottle. Thankfully, particularly if you are a breastfeeding mom, 1 Natural Way makes it super easy to share in the process with their breast pumps, breast pump accessories, compression socks and postpartum care supplies.

What I love about the 1 Natural Way program is that they take the stress out of getting supplies including their high-quality insurance breast pumps from Medela and Spectra. Not only are they completely covered for TRICARE members (at no cost to you), but you can choose from styles like the Medela Freestyle or the Spectra S1 Breast Pump, and the Medela Pump in Style Tote/Backpack. And the best part? 1 Natural Way handles everything–let me say that again, they handle everything from contacting Tricare and your physician to setting up delivery.

All you need to do is follow these simple steps (takes less than 5 minutes):

1 – Fill out the insurance information form found HERE

2 – Select your breast pump model (Tricare covers all models 1 Natural Way offers)

3 – Enroll in the free Monthly breastfeeding accessories program (called ReSupply)

4 – Provide us with a prescription (or your doctor’s information, and they will get it for you)

5 – Wait for the delivery! Your pump and supplies will ship right to your front door via UPS or USPS

Allow Yourself Some Guilt Free “me” time:

 

 

Let’s face it, being a new mom is exhausting. People will tell you to nap when the baby naps but don’t be afraid to use “nap” time as your personal time to do something for yourself. With people coming in and out to welcome your new addition, the chaos can be overwhelming. So don’t be afraid to refill your battery in whatever way works best for you. Remember, nap time doesn’t have to be for just napping!

 

 

 

 

*This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of 1 Natural Way, a TRICARE breast pump provider. All opinions are entirely my own

~ Judy Davis, The Direction Diva is a motivational speaker, entrepreneur, author and host of the Mighty Parenting Podcast. She is a small business and teen suicide prevention expert as well as an influencer in the military spouse community. Judy is passionate about providing programs and resources to families across the nation and is the CEO of DASIUM a brand leading the way in depression, addiction and suicide prevention in teens and young adults. Judy’s books Right Side Up  and Warning Signs: Is Your Teen at Risk are go to resources for families. To hire Judy or Connect with her visit TheDirectionDiva.com

The post Tips for Managing New Mom Stress from a Military Spouse appeared first on JUDY DAVIS TheDirectionDiva.

Guest Post: Tips for Healing Anxiety from Toxic Relationships

Today’s post is from guest Sylvia Smith who shares how to heal from a toxic relationship. While she approaches it from the relationship perspective, her tips can apply to toxic friendships as well!

Toxic relationships are unfortunately widespread and can be damaging to your health both physically and mentally. These abusive relationships are usually rife with emotional abuse resulting in low self-esteem, constantly feeling bad about yourself and constantly anxious, angry, or fearful when you are around your significant other. These traumatic relationships can also lead to heart problems and other physical afflictions. So the question is, how can you heal from the anxiety arising from toxic relationships? We’re looking at the process of healing anxiety from a toxic relationship and how you can move on with your life.

Recognize why your Relationship was Toxic

Hindsight is 20/20, meaning that with a little time you will be able to look back on your relationship and see all the toxic signs that you had missed before. Common signs you were in a toxic relationship are feeling constantly judged, lack of trust between partners, always giving and never receiving back, unreliability, narcissism, and a hostile environment. Recognizing why you had anxiety from toxic relationship, what drew you to that person, and what made you stay will help you take precautions never to be put in that situation again.

Make a List of Qualities

Even in suffer from post-relationship anxiety, you may still love the person you were in a toxic relationship with. Making a list is a good visual reminder of what you do and do not deserve from someone you love.

Grab a piece of paper and draw a line down the center. In the left column list off the personality traits and qualities of your toxic relationship that hurt you and that you find unacceptable. Now in the right column write out all the qualities you must see in a new partner, such as patience and respect, before getting into another relationship.

You may not be ready for a new relationship for a long time, but having a visual reminder of all the traits and attributes you look for, as well as the ones you will not tolerate, can be a helpful reminder to put your wellbeing first.

Create a Healing Deadline

Anxiety from a toxic relationship certainly isn’t something that is going to go away overnight. However, giving yourself a healing deadline is similar to giving yourself a goal to look forward to. Setting a timeline for your grief can help you make steps toward recovery. Give yourself time to grieve the loss of your relationship, then move on to time for self-discovery, and eventually, have a timeframe in mind for letting go. Even if you still feel relationship anxiety by your end date, you will still be able to look back at your healing deadline and see how far you’ve come since you first broke up with your ex.

Surround Yourself with Positive People

A mentally or physically abusive relationship can sometimes sever your ties with friends and family. Alienation is a common tactic used by abusers to cut off any support system you might have that would encourage you to leave. Now that you are single, recreating your support system is integral to healing from a toxic relationship. Surround yourself with positive people who want the best for you. Reconnecting with positive friends and family will help you establish new routines and gain comfort and love from those around you.

Hold Off on Dating

Coming fresh out of a toxic relationship can be damaging to your psyche. Now is not the time to be pursuing a romantic relationship, especially when your attraction to destructive personality traits may still be present. Now is the time to be single and rediscover yourself. Use your time to figure out who you are, what you like, and to learn to make yourself happy without anyone else’s involvement. Being single also provides you with less stress to deal with, which can help ease anxiety.

Be Selfish

Now is the time to think about you. Use your new single life to rediscover yourself and pursue the things you enjoy. Meditate, join a gym, take up a new hobby, go hiking, or do something in your community. Giving back and getting active are both great tools for healing anxiety from a toxic relationship. Journaling is also a great way to let out all the pain and anxiety that you’ve been feeling since the end of your relationship. Write down your innermost thoughts and reflect on what you want from life going forward.

Learn to Love Yourself

It is important after you’ve left a harmful relationship to build your self-confidence back up. You need the strength to say that a bad relationship is not the best you can do. You deserve amazing things. This is also why self-love is so important.

When you love someone you want what is best for them. You would never purposely put someone you love in harm’s way, nor would you punish them. Similarly, when you love yourself and act as your own best friend you want to pursue good things, treat yourself well, enjoy your own company and you’ll be in a better spot mentally. The better you are to yourself, the more you will see that being alone is healthier than being in a toxic relationship.

Pursue Anxiety Relief

Anxiety causes stress, heart palpitations, high blood pressure, insomnia, difficulty concentrating, inability to socialize and more. This debilitating issue can affect every aspect of your life. Thus, it is important to learn how to ease anxiety caused by your toxic relationship. Ease your anxiety by getting enough rest, engaging in physical exercise every day, meditating, limiting your caffeine intake, and stay away from harmful triggers such as your ex’s social media accounts.

Author Bio: Sylvia Smith is a relationship expert with years of experience in training and helping couples. She has helped countless individuals and organizations around the world, offering effective and efficient solutions for healthy and successful relationships. Her mission is to provide inspiration, support and empowerment to everyone on their journey to a great marriage. She is a featured writer for Marriage.com, a reliable resource to support healthy happy marriages.

The post Guest Post: Tips for Healing Anxiety from Toxic Relationships appeared first on JUDY DAVIS TheDirectionDiva.

The Future of Mental Health Care: Digital Health

“Everyone deserves to realize their fullest potential toward health and well-being,

and good mental health care is essential to this”.

Dr. Arpan Waghray of Providence St. Joseph Health is also spot on in this video discussing the importance of integrated care toward long-term overall health. The future of healthcare must challenge the way we look at patients and begin integrating mental/behavioral health into general care.

More and more we are understanding that mental health effects every aspect of our lives and to exclude it from general healthcare can be detrimental. I know that was the case with my son back in 2012 when we almost lost him to suicide.

As a sophomore in college he was a “healthy” young man – that is IF you didn’t take into account his mental/behavioral health issues. Physically he was the epitome of health, but so much was going on behind the mask he showed the world. Like many others who suffer from mental health issues, the idea of getting help for his depression never crossed his mind. The stigma surrounding that was to great. And he will tell you that knowing who to reach out to and how to access care was even more daunting. The fear of being a burden or labeled as depressed and suicidal stopped him from reaching out and he quickly spiraled into a hopeless and critical state. Thankfully the quick actions of the university crisis center saved his life, but the battle didn’t stop there.

As with any diagnosis of this type, ongoing treatment became key to my son’s health, recovery and overall well-being. But understanding the treatment options, insurance coverage and best ways to access to care after the initial crisis was quite a challenge.

You can imagine how relieved I was to learn that places such as Providence St. Joseph Health not only understands the trials and issues families face on a daily basis getting access to care, and are actively changing the face of treatment including mental/behavioral health issues.

“At Providence St. Joseph Health, we’re delivering health care when, where and how it fits into the busy lives of consumers. This has required digital innovation to serve patients on demand and, increasingly, online. We are also using digital innovation to increase access to care, make it more affordable and improve health for everyone, including the poor and vulnerable.”

Imagine the world that opens up to the college student, elderly and home-bound patient or the individual living in a remote area with a limited number of qualifies providers. No more will the lack of specialists have anyone waiting months for treatment. Technology is quickly becoming a real and viable option that will bridge the gap in healthcare.

To learn more about how Providence St. Joseph Health is making strides and leading the way in telemedicine, take some time to:

Watch the video replay of a recent Facebook LIVE event featuring Chief Medical Officer Dr. Arpan Waghray (be sure to read the comments as they contain lots of great info).
Get all the DETAILS to their current Digital Health Innovations programs.
Read up to stay in the know on mental health and digital health topics and articles.

As someone who was a bit cautious on how effective using technology for mental/behavioral health care, I can tell you that the scope and magnitude of possibilities has me excited for that veteran who is fearful to reach out because of the stigma associated with needing care or as in my son’s case that student who lives far from home and wants to continue making progress with their therapist who is miles away. The impact can really be the difference between life and death.

What are your thoughts on these digital innovations in health care?

I’d love to continue the discussion!

 

This is sponsored conversation in partnership with OMMedia and Providence St. Joseph Health.  Connect with them here . 

The post The Future of Mental Health Care: Digital Health appeared first on JUDY DAVIS TheDirectionDiva.

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As I browse my social media feeds I notice so many people are fed up and unsure of the direction of their lives. It reminded me of a post I wrote a couple of years ago when my son was stressed about what he would do with his life. Fast forward nothing he even considered was to be his path; life took him in a totally different direction. And it’s more than ok not only for him, but for any of us questioning where we are and what direction we are headed.

I share the original post (with some minor tweeks) here:

The age old question we ask our kids seems to be “What do you want to be when you grow up”?  We ask toddlers, we ask our tweens and we even pressure our high school seniors to “choose” what they want to be for the rest of their lives. We push and push until they pick something, anything, and is it “best” thing.

Don’t get me wrong, I believe we all have to grow up and move forward with some type of plan, but I’m watching my college freshman who is torn between multiple interests and is feeling the pressure to choose. I realize that once he went off to college the pressure really began to build in a whole new way.  And it began with choosing classes.

By the middle of their first year of college, a 19 year old student who is just figuring out how to adjust to living outside of the family, is forced to choose a path with the objective being to “graduate on time” and get a job. They are told that they need to pick a major early on because by doing so they have a better chance at being successful.

Hmmmmm……

No wonder our young adults get overwhelmed.  No wonder they feel “bad” that they don’t know what to do with their lives.  It’s hard enough to keep up with classes, studying, social activities and well just being in college, and on top of it we put this a “ticking time bomb” on their lives suggesting that they had better figure it all out and soon or else….FAILURE is soon to follow.

Yesterday, my son posted this simple statement “how is it that i still have no idea what i want to do with my life?!”  And the minute I read it, everything in me screamed

YOU ARE 18, HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO KNOW?

It was then I realized with a sinking feeling in my gut that somehow, somewhere the line got blurred.

Thankfully his aunt chimed in with “Honey, if you are lucky you’ll know before you are 40. Most of us who thought we knew at 18 were wrong anyhow”. And it dawned on me that something in the way we condition our young isn’t really in their best interests.  It’s more about the “shoulds” and a time line rather than about the individual and there needs.

It’s sad that it’s become about  (or maybe it’s always been and I just didn’t recognize that I had fallen into the same trap with my kids) what we as a society think is the “right” way to go through life? And while I thought that we had diffused that belief, the reality is that we didn’t.

The age-old formula  Go to school, do your best, go to college, do better, graduate, get a “real” job and perform your best, AND  if you do all these things, in the right order you will find the promised land!  The truth is that not many of us can say that when we followed the “right path” , or the path we “picked” that our lives turned out exactly how we dreamed they would be at 18.

The reality is actually somewhere in that mystical grey area.  Because when we put so much emphasis on that formula we lose our individuality, the thing that makes the world exciting.

What I “see” out there in the real world is that happiness is built on so much more that following what society deems as the formula for a successful life.  It has more to do with things like a solid work ethic, an inquisitive and educated mind that continues to grow, an ability to pick yourself back up when the going gets touch,  and the capacity to be compassionate and laugh at life that really gets you the pot of gold filled with happiness and prosperity.  It isn’t the choice you made at 18 or even at 40. It’s about how you handle the choices that you do make.

Life happens, and if we learn the lessons presented to us and develop the skills that will help us to adapt to a variety of situations we will find the “feeling” that we are looking for that tells us “Yes, this is what I want to be when I grow up”!  Am I saying that college isn’t the answer, no….in fact  I believe that for many going to college is a great place to learn valuable life lessons that far surpass anything that the professor teaches.  And I’m not saying that college is the only path either.  What I’m saying is that as a society I don’t understand why “choosing” at such a young age the norm?  Why the pressure to grow up so fast?  And why do we all feel as though there is something wrong with us if we don’t know all the answers to life immediately upon becoming an adult? My point:

Not knowing what you want to be at 18  is a good thing.

It means that you are open to possibilities and you want to embrace all that the world has to offer.  So if I could offer a piece of advice to anyone questioning what they want to be when they grow up….

Stop worrying about it, work hard at what you are doing, continue to take action on the things that feel right, and the rest will come to you all in good time.  And in the mean time, be silly, giggle lots and continue to skip, because as my grandma used to say…it’s important to stop and smell the roses, and that’s what it’s all about anyway right?

 

~Judy Davis, the Direction Diva is a motivational speaker, author and entrepreneur as well as a military life and teen suicide prevention expert. Co-founder of DASIUM , Judy’s books Right Side Up  and Warning Signs: Is Your Teen at Risk are go to resources for families and her websites are filled with tips, inspiration and resources for those looking for direction. Connect with Judy at TheDirectionDiva.com

The post appeared first on JUDY DAVIS TheDirectionDiva.

As I browse my social media feeds I notice so many people are fed up and unsure of the direction of their lives. It reminded me of a post I wrote a couple of years ago when my son was stressed about what he would do with his life. Fast forward nothing he even considered was to be his path; life took him in a totally different direction. And it’s more than ok not only for him, but for any of us questioning where we are and what direction we are headed.

I share the original post (with some minor tweeks) here:

The age old question we ask our kids seems to be “What do you want to be when you grow up”?  We ask toddlers, we ask our tweens and we even pressure our high school seniors to “choose” what they want to be for the rest of their lives. We push and push until they pick something, anything, and is it “best” thing.

Don’t get me wrong, I believe we all have to grow up and move forward with some type of plan, but I’m watching my college freshman who is torn between multiple interests and is feeling the pressure to choose. I realize that once he went off to college the pressure really began to build in a whole new way.  And it began with choosing classes.

By the middle of their first year of college, a 19 year old student who is just figuring out how to adjust to living outside of the family, is forced to choose a path with the objective being to “graduate on time” and get a job. They are told that they need to pick a major early on because by doing so they have a better chance at being successful.

Hmmmmm……

No wonder our young adults get overwhelmed.  No wonder they feel “bad” that they don’t know what to do with their lives.  It’s hard enough to keep up with classes, studying, social activities and well just being in college, and on top of it we put this a “ticking time bomb” on their lives suggesting that they had better figure it all out and soon or else….FAILURE is soon to follow.

Yesterday, my son posted this simple statement “how is it that i still have no idea what i want to do with my life?!”  And the minute I read it, everything in me screamed

YOU ARE 18, HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO KNOW?

It was then I realized with a sinking feeling in my gut that somehow, somewhere the line got blurred.

Thankfully his aunt chimed in with “Honey, if you are lucky you’ll know before you are 40. Most of us who thought we knew at 18 were wrong anyhow”. And it dawned on me that something in the way we condition our young isn’t really in their best interests.  It’s more about the “shoulds” and a time line rather than about the individual and there needs.

It’s sad that it’s become about  (or maybe it’s always been and I just didn’t recognize that I had fallen into the same trap with my kids) what we as a society think is the “right” way to go through life? And while I thought that we had diffused that belief, the reality is that we didn’t.

The age-old formula  Go to school, do your best, go to college, do better, graduate, get a “real” job and perform your best, AND  if you do all these things, in the right order you will find the promised land!  The truth is that not many of us can say that when we followed the “right path” , or the path we “picked” that our lives turned out exactly how we dreamed they would be at 18.

The reality is actually somewhere in that mystical grey area.  Because when we put so much emphasis on that formula we lose our individuality, the thing that makes the world exciting.

What I “see” out there in the real world is that happiness is built on so much more that following what society deems as the formula for a successful life.  It has more to do with things like a solid work ethic, an inquisitive and educated mind that continues to grow, an ability to pick yourself back up when the going gets touch,  and the capacity to be compassionate and laugh at life that really gets you the pot of gold filled with happiness and prosperity.  It isn’t the choice you made at 18 or even at 40. It’s about how you handle the choices that you do make.

Life happens, and if we learn the lessons presented to us and develop the skills that will help us to adapt to a variety of situations we will find the “feeling” that we are looking for that tells us “Yes, this is what I want to be when I grow up”!  Am I saying that college isn’t the answer, no….in fact  I believe that for many going to college is a great place to learn valuable life lessons that far surpass anything that the professor teaches.  And I’m not saying that college is the only path either.  What I’m saying is that as a society I don’t understand why “choosing” at such a young age the norm?  Why the pressure to grow up so fast?  And why do we all feel as though there is something wrong with us if we don’t know all the answers to life immediately upon becoming an adult? My point:

Not knowing what you want to be at 18  is a good thing.

It means that you are open to possibilities and you want to embrace all that the world has to offer.  So if I could offer a piece of advice to anyone questioning what they want to be when they grow up….

Stop worrying about it, work hard at what you are doing, continue to take action on the things that feel right, and the rest will come to you all in good time.  And in the mean time, be silly, giggle lots and continue to skip, because as my grandma used to say…it’s important to stop and smell the roses, and that’s what it’s all about anyway right?

 

~Judy Davis, the Direction Diva is a motivational speaker, author and lifestyle blogger as well as a military life and teen suicide prevention expert. Co-founder of DASIUM , Judy’s books Right Side Up  and Warning Signs: Is Your Teen at Risk are go to resources for families and her websites are filled with tips, inspiration and resources for those looking for direction. Connect with Judy at TheDirectionDiva.com

The post Don’t have Your Life figured out? So What! appeared first on Judy Davis The Direction Diva.

Don’t Have Your Life Figured Out? So What!

As I browse my social media feeds I notice so many people are fed up and unsure of the direction of their lives. It reminded me of a post I wrote a couple of years ago when my son was stressed about what he would do with his life. Fast forward nothing he even considered was to be his path; life took him in a totally different direction. And it’s more than ok not only for him, but for any of us questioning where we are and what direction we are headed.

I share the original post (with some minor tweeks) here:

The age old question we ask our kids seems to be “What do you want to be when you grow up”?  We ask toddlers, we ask our tweens and we even pressure our high school seniors to “choose” what they want to be for the rest of their lives. We push and push until they pick something, anything, and is it “best” thing.

Don’t get me wrong, I believe we all have to grow up and move forward with some type of plan, but I’m watching my college freshman who is torn between multiple interests and is feeling the pressure to choose. I realize that once he went off to college the pressure really began to build in a whole new way.  And it began with choosing classes.

By the middle of their first year of college, a 19 year old student who is just figuring out how to adjust to living outside of the family, is forced to choose a path with the objective being to “graduate on time” and get a job. They are told that they need to pick a major early on because by doing so they have a better chance at being successful.

Hmmmmm……

No wonder our young adults get overwhelmed.  No wonder they feel “bad” that they don’t know what to do with their lives.  It’s hard enough to keep up with classes, studying, social activities and well just being in college, and on top of it we put this a “ticking time bomb” on their lives suggesting that they had better figure it all out and soon or else….FAILURE is soon to follow.

Yesterday, my son posted this simple statement “how is it that i still have no idea what i want to do with my life?!”  And the minute I read it, everything in me screamed

YOU ARE 18, HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO KNOW?

It was then I realized with a sinking feeling in my gut that somehow, somewhere the line got blurred.

Thankfully his aunt chimed in with “Honey, if you are lucky you’ll know before you are 40. Most of us who thought we knew at 18 were wrong anyhow”. And it dawned on me that something in the way we condition our young isn’t really in their best interests.  It’s more about the “shoulds” and a time line rather than about the individual and there needs.

It’s sad that it’s become about  (or maybe it’s always been and I just didn’t recognize that I had fallen into the same trap with my kids) what we as a society think is the “right” way to go through life? And while I thought that we had diffused that belief, the reality is that we didn’t.

The age-old formula  Go to school, do your best, go to college, do better, graduate, get a “real” job and perform your best, AND  if you do all these things, in the right order you will find the promised land!  The truth is that not many of us can say that when we followed the “right path” , or the path we “picked” that our lives turned out exactly how we dreamed they would be at 18.

The reality is actually somewhere in that mystical grey area.  Because when we put so much emphasis on that formula we lose our individuality, the thing that makes the world exciting.

What I “see” out there in the real world is that happiness is built on so much more that following what society deems as the formula for a successful life.  It has more to do with things like a solid work ethic, an inquisitive and educated mind that continues to grow, an ability to pick yourself back up when the going gets touch,  and the capacity to be compassionate and laugh at life that really gets you the pot of gold filled with happiness and prosperity.  It isn’t the choice you made at 18 or even at 40. It’s about how you handle the choices that you do make.

Life happens, and if we learn the lessons presented to us and develop the skills that will help us to adapt to a variety of situations we will find the “feeling” that we are looking for that tells us “Yes, this is what I want to be when I grow up”!  Am I saying that college isn’t the answer, no….in fact  I believe that for many going to college is a great place to learn valuable life lessons that far surpass anything that the professor teaches.  And I’m not saying that college is the only path either.  What I’m saying is that as a society I don’t understand why “choosing” at such a young age the norm?  Why the pressure to grow up so fast?  And why do we all feel as though there is something wrong with us if we don’t know all the answers to life immediately upon becoming an adult? My point:

Not knowing what you want to be at 18  is a good thing.

It means that you are open to possibilities and you want to embrace all that the world has to offer.  So if I could offer a piece of advice to anyone questioning what they want to be when they grow up….

Stop worrying about it, work hard at what you are doing, continue to take action on the things that feel right, and the rest will come to you all in good time.  And in the mean time, be silly, giggle lots and continue to skip, because as my grandma used to say…it’s important to stop and smell the roses, and that’s what it’s all about anyway right?

 

~Judy Davis, the Direction Diva is a motivational speaker, author and entrepreneur as well as a military life and teen suicide prevention expert. Co-founder of DASIUM , Judy’s books Right Side Up  and Warning Signs: Is Your Teen at Risk are go to resources for families and her websites are filled with tips, inspiration and resources for those looking for direction. Connect with Judy at TheDirectionDiva.com

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Talking about our families experience with depression, addiction and suicide ideation in our son and founding DASIUM.net has been a passion of mine, and I’m thrilled to share information and this article by the incredible Jennifer McGregor. I hope you get as much out of it as I did!

 

Embracing Sobriety: Positive Ways to Treat Yourself

By: Jennifer McGregor

Recovering from an addiction is no easy feat. It takes courage, strength, and support from others as well relearning how to live your life without the addiction. Some people can find sober living difficult and fantasize about the thrill of their addiction. While treatment and healthy habits are important, it is also important to relearn how to enjoy life and how to have fun without the aid of a substance. Life is full of fun and wonder. Here are a few things you can do to help yourself find it again.

Visit a Natural Wonder

One of the best ways to remind yourself about the majesty of life and this planet is to go out and spend some time with nature’s miracles. No matter where you live, there is always some monument, landmark, or wilderness area nearby. Take advantage of your state’s natural beauty. Some great pilgrimages to take for those who want to go out of state might be Moab, UT, the Oregon Coast, Yellowstone, the Everglades, and the Grand Canyon.

Learn the Skill You Always Wanted To

Everyone has wistfully thought of learning a certain hobby, craft, language, or other skill without any plan to do so. With your goal to beat addiction and stay sober, there was never a better time to get started. Put all your newfound time and energy into picking up crocheting, learning Hindi, taking woodworking classes or even going back to school. The possibilities are endless and now is the time to start bettering yourself.

Travel Out of the Country

When a person stays in the country, state, or city that they grew up in, their knowledge and understanding of the world is limited. There is no better way to become more open-minded and knowledgeable than leaving the country and spending some quality time abroad. Sure, a weeklong trip is a nice vacation, but in order to really grasp what it is to live in another country and culture, you need more time. Start planning and start saving. You could be spending your next month in Nepal.

Plan a Weekly Event to Look Forward To

If a big expenditure is not in your near future, consider attending or planning a weekly event that makes you excited to begin another week. It can be easy to succumb to depression during recovery and giving yourself something positive each week can be a great way to combat it. The event can be anything from attending your local farmer’s market to taking yourself out to sushi every weekend. Find an activity that fits your budget and caps your week off with fun.

Adopt a Dog

Yes, a dog can be a financial burden and should not be adopted on a whim. However, dogs have been shown to benefit their owners in a number of ways including boosting mood, encouraging exercise, and providing affection. If it is possible for you to fit a dog into your lifestyle, drop what you are doing and get yourself to the local shelter to find the perfect pet for you.

There are many ways to enjoy your life after recovery. Sobriety is rarely easy, especially at first, but teaching yourself how to have fun, relax, and marvel at existence is a great way to smooth the path ahead. So take yourself out for dinner, plan a vacation, take a class, or even add a four-legged family member to your home. It doesn’t matter how you rediscover life as long as you are doing it in a way that benefits your future self.

Image via Pixabay by Unsplash

 

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As we navigate military life, we are no strangers to change. We move and move again, we raise our children together and alone, we juggle our finances, and handle deployments. We are wonder woman each and every day, and funny thing is that these are just the most obvious things that we handle on a regular basis. In this crazy military life, change is common, and how we deal with it can make or break us. Change happens and developing the ability to change with it is the key to thriving in this world of ours.

So often when we are met with change we respond with resistance, and looked at it as a source of stress. But I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t need to be that way. What if you could think about change in a whole new way? What if the next time your soldier walked in the door with some “news” instead of getting frustrated, you could find the silver lining? What if the idea of an upcoming change brought about excitement and inspiration instead of stress and resentment? It can be that way, and for many of us it is!

Change doesn’t have to be something to fear. Change can be something that gives us a fresh start, a new attitude and a brighter future. It’s the knowing how to “handle” it that makes all the difference. Over the years I have watched people who move through change with ease and have even been “one of them” a time or 2. What I noticed was that those who transitioned easily did something that the rest of us didn’t. They changed with the change and they used the following steps. With these steps you can prepare and shift your mindset to bring new life into your reality and a smile to your face that will have you prepared for any situation that comes your way.

6 Steps to Change

Step 1: Recognize

The first action step to handling any type of change is to simply recognize that things will be different. This idea may seem trivial, but if you resist the fact that things are going to change you will never begin to take action. And action is what moves us forward. During any new situation, frustration and uncomfortable feelings will surface, and unless you let yourself acknowledge them and become aware of how you react to those feelings, you will be unable to move on to step 2: Deciding.

Step 2: Decide

The decision to change the circumstances in your daily life is not a simple one, especially when that change may not be something you desire. In order to move forward, you must commit to doing things differently, and this isn’t always easy. Deciding to develop a long term commitment to create new habits and actions is nothing to be taken lightly, but the rewards of doing so will move you closer to the life that you desire. When you move to a new duty station you must decide how you will take action to make the adjustment, when a deployment rears its ugly head you must decide how you will fill your time and alter your routine. And then you take action based on those decisions.

Step 3: Assess and Uncover what isn’t working

As with any change, it is important to take a closer look at what is and isn’t working right now. Are the decisions you made when you first found out life was changing working or are they causing more stress? If you are unhappy, take the time to uncover what it really is that is causing it. Are you afraid? If it’s finances – ask yourself what is the real concern; not enough cash to PCS & pay bills or is it that you feel as though need to do something as a family before he deploys and the finances are to tight to do so. Maybe it’s a personal relationship, parenting or other concerns, only you can uncover what isn’t working, and in doing so you will find what you want to change and what the best way to proceed is!

Step 4: Design

Knowing what you want out of any situation is a key step to meeting change with a positive attitude toward your military life. If you are excited about what you are moving toward, you will be more likely to stay with the process of doing so. You have the power to design your experience any way you like. So take the time and design it in a way that works for you! PCSing? Choose to connect with positive happy people. Deployment? Create a new routine that works for everyone! By taking some time to think about what you want, you have the power to Design any situation to fit your needs and feed your spirit!

Step 5: Create habits

In order to make anything happen, you need to take action. And for any action to be forward moving, it must become a habit that you want and can do on a consistent basis. So often people think of all the “bad habits” that they have, instead I want you to think of all the good habits you have and add to them! How do you start your day? Does it work for you? If not take this time of change and try something new!

Step 6: Evaluate again!

The final step in any process of change is to take the time and evaluate whether your new habits are actually doing what they are meant to do. We have all had times where we are working hard, but getting no where, all because we were so focused on “working harder” rather than looking at what our work was moving us toward. If the new routine is stressing you out, change it! If staying up til 2am just to chat with your deployed soldier for 2 minutes leaves you unable to sleep try working out a better way to communicate. By incorporating the “evaluate” step regularly into your life, you will be better able to adjust to the small changes which makes the big ones easier to handle!

Being a military spouse is an honor that comes with A LOT of change, and if you can begin to accept that change is an opportunity rather than a problem, your life will open up and all the miracles that are there for you will present themselves!

 

~Judy Davis, the Direction Diva is a motivational speaker, author and lifestyle blogger as well as a military life and teen suicide prevention expert. Co-founder of DASIUM , Judy’s books Right Side Up  and Warning Signs: Is Your Teen at Risk are go to resources for families and her websites are filled with tips, inspiration and resources for those looking for direction. Connect with Judy at TheDirectionDiva.com

 

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