Geri Halliwell's Blog

(Forgive spelling & grammar)

Hi, Hello…

I won! I won! I won!!! Tuesday, I was at the Melbourne Cup - I backed a horse called ‘Fiorente’ to come first – It did! – I was elated! That evening feeling pretty pleased with myself, I saw online around 11pm that my new single (just released in Australia) had come in at number #94… I laughed nervously, god that’s really bad! (Deep down I was gutted).

So for the final show of Australia’s Got Talent – I asked myself what are my options?  (They were expecting me to perform the new single) Could I still perform the song at #94? I could pretend it hasn’t happened? Denial? Hide my disappointment? Unleash the fighter... Sing the song with ‘magnificent’ gusto doing my best to promote it up the charts… Maybe I could get it to a respectful number ‘30’? Or even ‘60’?

But is this me now? To keep pushing, so my pride wouldn’t feel so hurt?

Or maybe I admit this song just hasn’t connected?

What I do know is this… I need to look back… Remember who I am – where I’ve come from and dust myself off…

As much as I’m afraid to look like a quitter, (because we all want to look like winners right?), I’m not afraid to say – I lost! – Maybe I need to learn how to lose well in order to be a good winner?

And, when the sh*t hits the fan – we are reminded who loves us. So, on Sunday on the final show of Australia’s Got Talent The Decider on Channel 9 – Winner or loser – I’m going to sing something that feels honest, just like home, for you and I, for all of us.

Lots of love

Geri x

p.s. Thanks to Fiorente who came 1st, and to the 393 people – who made my song 94 – I wont forget this magic number. Win or lose, either way, it’s liberating to put my hands up when I have!  

The Melbourne cup. The race that stopped the nation!

(Forgive grammar & spelling)

So here we are… Apologies I haven’t been in touch for a while, I was having a moment of quiet contemplation/trepidation.

It’s been a few years since I shared any new solo material – so there has been a bit of thinking… maybe too much.

Sunday night I did a gig at the Beresford club in Australia – It felt great. However as I navigate my way through the music industry - Hesitant? Yes… Fearful? Yes ...But something inside me is saying just go for it… Enjoy it. I feel incredibly lucky to have the opportunity - I just signed a deal with Sony in Australia.

Tomorrow evening I'm going to perform my new single – 'Half of Me' – on Australian TV. Oooh I can feel the nerves - but my heart is with you the fans – thank you for being so loyal…

Lots of love

Geri
x

Ps. Now I have to deal with something else I’m afraid of… Forgive me – I’m Geri Halliwell the cockroach killer - If you love cockroaches please don’t watch this…
 
 Forgive me – I’m Geri Halliwell the cockroach killer

(Forgive
grammar & spelling)

I’d like
to believe I’m a modern woman, yet still we live in a world where prejudice
still exists.

Am I guilty
of prejudice? Judging on appearances? Since I starting working on Australia’s
Got Talent… I was about to find out.

We’ve seen
a lot of dance acts through the auditions - so its hard to feel impressed
by them.

Brisbane –
It’s the end of day – 10.30pm… I’m slightly weary, tired.

A dance
crew – A cocky bunch of about 20 young men march on – I think to myself
– Oh god, really another dance act? And, what’s with the LA gang style bandanas?
They look like they’re going to steal my handbag - I am judging this book by
its cover.

These men
are dressed in black t-shirts, oozing macho pride - giving it ‘the big-un’. They
introduce themselves and stand in that urban ‘street’ way… I begin to yawn
inside… I’ve seen this before…

Then
suddenly one of the boys standing on the end of the group catches my eye. He is
standing differently to the others… almost like a member of Glee but he’s
hanging with this tough bunch… something doesn’t fit here, It’s jarring with my
pre-judgment – what’s he doing hanging with them?

He talks
with excited gleeful enthusiasm and he’s a Spice Girl fan! I can’t work it out
– who is this group of macho hard-core looking cool dudes with the camp
one on the end?

I’m
curious & skeptical… I expect nothing special.

Then boom! The music explodes, and so do
they!

These guys
blow me away. For five minutes I feel absolutely electrified! Imagine a tribe
of testosterone moving as one – brilliant dancers & choreography! Then a
bloke growls and rips at his t-shirt… It’s gang warfare. And just when I think
I know who they are, suddenly they’re strutting like it’s a Lady Gaga
bromance – lead by the Spice fan earlier – so growling bears and camp boys
moving together, I’m delighted and gob-smacked…

This dance
group reminded me – The cocky know it all that I am – who’s thought she’d
seen it, done it, read the book and bought the t-shirt – not to judge
the book by its cover. In fact rip the cover off – its cool to be a mix
bag… we all can be different and still move as one. I’m impressed
 – I see a positive glance of who we are today.

Sometimes
in life I think it's one thing, when actually it's another.

What I
need a coat? – What do you mean it’s chilly in Australia!?

See u soon – love
Geri xx

(forgive grammar & spelling)

I’m an impatient cow… Now please! Please!

I’ve always wanted to take the cake out the oven
before its even cooked and just eat it!

I’m in Australia judging on the show ‘Australia’s
Got Talent’. It’s so much fun and everyone here has been incredibly lovely to
me. I like Australian people.

I’m here to judge, find a star & give my
opinion – Say what I think… whether ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. It’s tough
when 3 other people that I admire think something different to me.

There was this rock band – I thought were lukewarm
– and everyone else was saying they were great. This has happened a few times
where my opinion has differed from the rest of the panel – whom are just
adorable; Dawn French - Gorgeous, Kyle Dj - Shiny soul & funny, Timomatic –
Smooth & cute. I feel like it’s a family, they really make me laugh.

Cut back to the last 2 years - I did some guest
judging on X Factor, I did my best, but I was the new girl for one day…
I tried to fit in… I look back and cringe at myself, have you ever been
the new girl or boy? Or, wanting to be included in the gang? It was with Gary
Barlow, Tulisa and Louis Walsh – I tried to be liked. I was disappointed
I didn’t become a full time judge – but I accepted maybe it wasn’t
meant to be… and moved on.

Cut to a year later… in that time I’d hit a few
speed bumps in my life. Maybe it was hitting 40? Maybe it was being shouted at
on Twitter? – Having to let go of what people think .

But as I come to Australia I realised I’ve changed…
I feel liberated to really show up and just say what I feel (with love) and with
confidence, and let go! It’s shown me its okay to be different! Even among a lovely
bunch of people I admire.

Thank god sometimes I don’t get what I want when I
want it – I’d have probably f*cked it up.

Looking back I wasn’t ready to be the person I am
striving to be today.

So I’m trying to remind the impatient cow that I am
– things happen at the right time when the cake is ready. And now I do
feel ready to be part of a show that celebrates people, and which gives
them an opportunity. I am having a personal lesson in telling the truth, owning
my opinion – which is sometimes scary but also liberating… even if you wont
like me or love for it.

So last weekend I danced with an old Elvis who
grows vegetables, I saw a funky bunny who played the bass - amazing, and I ate
vegemite.

It’s like a party to celebrate our talent. And, I
endeavor to give my opinion that’s honest and always from the
heart.. 

Now what time is it?? Where the f*ck is that cab?!

Yours lovingly,

The impatient cow,

Geri xxx

(Forgive grammar & spelling)

God only knows why things don’t work.

It’s 11pm and I’ve just come back from the West End theatre show Viva Forever!
- To say goodbye.

Over 4 years ago it started with a conversation in a Kitchen; Laughing…
Joking… full of promise, dreams & optimism.

We managed to get one of the most successful Theatre producers
to do our show! A great writer, our Spice music… I felt confidant - almost
cocky it was going to be a huge success.

Opening night - In my Cinderella prom dress with my fellow Spice Girls,
so proud of us having a West End show!

It didn’t work – 6 months later, it's closing.

What went wrong?

Was I biased? Blinded because it was a show with our music?

Was it the lighting? The set? The choreography? The press? The story?

It had a bumpy start but the cast and director worked really hard, made
great changes, and I can hand on heart tell it's not shit! - It’s good
entertainment!

I went back again and again.                       

I could say maybe because of this, or that, blah, blah, blah, but for
whatever reason good or bad - it didn’t work.

I’ve learnt in life that sometimes things just don’t work out, at least not
how we hoped.

But honestly for many reasons, I don’t regret it. I got to meet and
work with the fabulous Judy Craymer, the producer whom I hope to be a friend for
life.

So this is to say thank you to all the people who tried for the Spice
Girls, who had the guts to put their heart and soul into Viva. Even if something
doesn't work, I admire anyone who tries, because a lot of people are afraid to.

Thanks to all the cast of Viva, the musicians, Judy, Jennifer, the Spices
and to all the fans and theatre-goers who came.

It’s hard to say goodbye, but sometimes we just have to... 

So as I leave for Australia for new adventure to be a judge on
Australia’s Got Talent - I hope it will go well; I’m going to really
try my best to find a star and have a blast.

Oh now I’m going to close my case… It won’t shut!

Should I try to I sit on it? ;)

Lots of love,

Geri x

We say goodbye.

(Excuse grammar, spelling & high class problems)

Okay so the last two weeks have been like the British weather; sunshine, rain, sunshine, rain... Am I prepared?

This is what's happened...

– Horrible weirdo phone calls - cried - called police.

– Australia’s Got Talent! - They wan't me to be a judge - I love that show! and it was lovely to be recommended by my generous soul sista Melanie B… What Joy! Gratitude! & Excitement! – I can't wait to discover Australia!

– Viva Forever is closing? What??? Nooo!! I can’t believe it - I feel gutted and sad for everyone involved, especially for Judy Craymer with her years of hard work.

– Driving up the motorway, processing everything that's happened - lost and late for charity event - panic and cursing my sat nav.

– Unexpected nice connection - Smiling :)

– Wrote a great song in studio - Joy! Yay! Gratitude – THANK GOD FOR THE MUSIC!!!

– Unappreciative work colleague - bored of it.

– Dishwasher broke again - annoyance - also bored of it.

Once again I am reminded - both ‘good’ and ‘bad’ stuff happens. Despite my best/worst intentions - I just need to pack for all weathers.

Bank Holiday weekend arrives - Yay! Phew! It’s sunny! I come in from playing footie with the dogs and Bluebell in the garden, then I proudly dance around the kitchen to the that song I just wrote only to smell something odd… Oh god what have I just stepped in!!!

That’s life really  - Dancing in dog poo!

Yours truly,

Hug

Lots of Love,

Geri xxx

(Forgive grammar & spelling and swear
words)

Hi it's me again... 

So this week I’ve been busy being busy
doing normal life stuff.

But then, Melanie B my adorable soul sista
dares me on Twitter to sing ‘Say you’ll be there’ in a pub & LOUD! OK, I
like a bit of dare, I’m up for it and I put it on my ‘to do list’. The week
continues… I forget about the dare…

Friday comes and I’m feeling on top
of my game, I’m an organized adult!

6.30am - Bluebell wakes me, I get breakie
and do the school run.

9.30am - I’m in the studio - Vocal
acoustic song idea and feel pretty pleased - I nail it in one (my vocals pretty
good for a morning voice!)

10.45am - Hair and makeup done.

1.00pm - I’m doing a big interview – it
goes well… Yeah Halliwell is feeling rather pleased with herself :)

4.00pm - Now I’m doing admin stuff
and sorting out Bluebells clothes – Halliwell is still feeling rather
pleased herself… proud & smug - I’ve done loads, so professional, I exhale,
phew what a week!

Then I remember…

THE DARE by Mel B!!!!

Shit I’ve forgotten to do it! Now in life
I try to be a woman of my word - if I say I’m going to do something, I
like to do it.

I’m up for a laugh and I jump in the car
and find a pub. It looks a bit busy…. But hey, I've done the Olympics, this will
be easy-peasy!

I walk in, I sing, I’m doing it…
Eeek! These men start saying stuff at me… I didn’t expect it - I feel silly - but
it’s funny!

I run out of pub laughing my head off,
what must have they been thinking?

I’m buzzed by it… I get in car and watch
it back and I’m laughing at myself. But then I suddenly remember the other part
of the dare - SHE WANTS EVIDENCE! So I now have to upload this on to
YouTube, my sista wants proof… this is a global dare…  Dun, dun, dun!

I suddenly hesitate, I watch it back
differently judging my silliness, Oh shit, I can feel my pride and EGO snarling
at me - What do I do… I then just smile at my silly self and upload it
anyway.

I feel liberated! Being foolish and sharing
it feels real rather good. I was reminded again thanks to my soul sista Mel B

So on that note… If any one is feeling
rather ‘too’ pleased with themselves, or a bit flat, I highly recommend being a
little foolish, be daring, be happy or just watch me

Now then, a dare for Mel B? … A visit to
the Hollywood dentist!

Start licking the dentist’s finger when he puts finger in mouth - Too dirty?
Oh yeah, and I want evidence!

Love you loads,

Geri  xxx

(Forgive spelling & grammar).

Recently a few things have happened – Firstly, I was shocked and
saddened by the death of Jo McCormack, at the age 50, who signed the Spice
Girls, the hatred on Twitter, hating myself for feeling exhausted for trying to
do too many things and have felt overwhelmed with stuff going on, the world has
felt dark at times.

Now forgive me if I sound a pitiful brat, as I am more privilege than
most… But what I want to share with you is this; I have spent much of my
life striving and chasing my tail, pinning my happiness on stuff – success,
marriage, have a baby, weight and so on.

There is nothing wrong in reaching for one’s dreams, but it’s so easy
for me to get caught up in one’s ‘to do list’... paying the phone bill, food
shopping, meetings, trying to look half decent, reading bedtime stories, shower,
do email’s and then call that person back… Oh, and write a song too.

Sometimes I can’t keep up with myself, and the funny thing is I’ve
noticed it in others too. Is it just city life? Or just the modern world we
live in?

Then I got reminded by what probably could be my most valuable lessons
– What really matters in my so-called ‘important’ life?

A 14-year-old comedian called Jack with Cerebral Palsy on Britain’s
Got Talent who was funny and talented, but what I found really inspirational
was he both optimistic and self-deprecating, making the most of life and was
giving it back with full on joy.

Next was the terrible Boston bombing – The sadness, the despair, the
hatred that breeds among us, telling us we live in a fearful world where bad
things happen.

But then I read this by Martin Luther King.

“Darkness
cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that, hate cannot drive out hate,
only love can do that”

It got me thinking… In life, we have a choice between dark and
light – And if so, which side am I on?

When I feel fear and hate, do I combat it with more fear and hate? Or,
maybe just maybe, could my greatest weapon be love? It’s hard when I’m so
caught up in selfishness or doubt.  But
when I STOP and take time for the world around me, consider what’s really
important and what’s real – Gratitude, love & kindness towards others
(and myself), no matter who they are to me (I’m talking about everyone not just
nearest & dearest), I’ve noticed my whole living experience is different…

LIFE is LOVE, the world is suddenly a kind loving place.

Yes we salute success, how many Billions that dude has, or
what car he’s driving.
But, a life without love?

As I’m writing this, my car alarm goes off repeatedly, it won’t turn
off, it’s late in the evening and I have no idea what to do! I suddenly think “f*ck
I wish I had a husband to help me fix this!” – I then take it for a drive round
the block and I then see a local workman called Adie, who kindly offers to help
me and says “just get me some pliers”- how kind.

I’m constantly reminded to stop and ask myself what's important in
life - Where would we be without love? … Oh, and pliers!

Lots of real love, 

Geri  xxx

(please forgive grammar & spelling!)

When I’m scared, my natural state is to hide and run for cover.

I was 7 years old when my father told me about the greengrocer’s
daughter who had become the first female Prime Minister in our history. I was
enchanted by this… my father who was always hiding behind the broadsheets spoke
about her my whole childhood.

Fast forward to 1996… It was widely covered in the media, when I casually
mentioned that I admired Margaret Thatcher in an interview for
a political magazine.

Monday 8th April
2013 – Margaret Thatcher had died… I felt compelled to tweet my thoughts for a
female leader, in a world governed by men.

I was so confused and overwhelmed by some of the feedback I received that I took my tweet down and for that
I was called spineless.

I questioned myself? Did I really mean what I said?

Can I stand tall? Do I even know what I was talking about?

I realised the best thing to do was to shut up and really get honest
with myself. What I hated the most was that I took a tweet down. I had wavered and was full of self-doubt. 

I so I asked myself over the last 3 days – why I did I do it? Why did I take that tweet down?

These are my conclusions…

I. I was so afraid of upsetting people, and not being liked
for saying something that was not to everyone’s taste.

2. Also, I suddenly thought given the adverse reaction,
did I even really know enough about Margaret Thatcher?  Was I
just trying to be relevant? She had obviously upset a lot of people.

3. But now I realise that I do admire a woman, whether she is
right or wrong, regardless of her opinions. She had
the courage to stand by her convictions. Not like me. I look at my behavior,
which exposed how weak I was under fire, not like Margaret Thatcher. Rest in
peace.

Much love Geri xxx

Hi everyone,
So this week I was reminded of a magic word  – ‘YET’
Again, please forgive grammar & spelling!

On Bank Holiday Monday I drove to Wales – the beautiful land of
hills and blustery winds.  I had a writing session with a lady I had never met before. I knew
she was talented (she had written with Ed Sheeran) and now she wanted to write with me, cool.

I was tired; I had been in the studio the week before and felt a bit
flat from the drive. I curled up on an unfamiliar hotel bed, staring at the
ceiling and the truth is 
I felt out of my comfort zone…  I’m here for 3 days to work with this woman I
don’t know and I feel full of doubt. What if it’s a waste of time? And I’d brought my daughter with me too.

I looked through my book of lyrics and loose ideas to start work the
next day. Even though I was in this beautiful place, my head was in a bad
neighbourhood. As I listened to the radiator rattle and the wind howl I asked
myself… what are you doing here Geri?  

But this is what happened… The next morning I drove through the
rolling hills of Wales to a ‘ginger bread’ house, and was welcomed by a
sparkling woman named Amy Wadge (imagine Ellie Golding as a mother, who plays
guitar & piano) with two little angels wrapped around her ankles. Instantly my doubt melted, her house was cosy, full of love and
memories. We then went to the back garden to her ‘magic shed’ (this is where
she wrote with Ed Sheeran - Gold rush).

The magic shed!

We spent the day chatting and then we began to write, laugh, chat and then write more. She would play the guitar, I would sing and we had
the most magical time. I didn’t sensor myself one bit, nor did she, and we wrote the most
authentic songs only two women could write together. She was the yin to my yang.

She is much cooler than me and our creativity was a great balance. Bluebell had fun playing with her daughters. Meanwhile Amy and I had
a blast in ‘the shed’ and wrote three great songs… one I believe is super
special, it just flowed out of us.

The beginning of anything is truly magical and when you know you’ve hit a sweet spot. With our creativity up and running, it didn’t feel like work, it felt like love and fun. That’s when I know I’m in the right place.

We spoke about dreams and how there are so many talented
people out there. Maybe the ones that make it are the ones that just keep going? I’ve
had commitment issues in my life, but when I really do commit and keep going
(as a mother and with my recovery from bulimia) the reward has been
amazing. I’m reminded of my commitment to keep going as an artist. Then Amy said a pearl of wisdom about the word ‘YET’.  She said 
“maybe ‘blah blah blah’ just hasn’t happened YET”- hear that magic word
‘YET’.

I got reminded in the magic shed that no matter how old or young we
are, maybe we haven’t found our dream, our purpose or success, we haven’t found
true love, or maybe we don't know all the answers
to the puzzle, we haven’t run a marathon,
lost a stone, won an a Grammy or Golden Globe, we haven’t stood up to that shit
in the office, chucked the crap boyfriend, or won the largest marrow growing
competition - YET!

Whatever it is… just maybe it just hasn’t happened YET! What a hopeful word.

So that’s me… I’m smiling gratefully from my week in Wales with Amy,
in the magic shed. I just haven’t cracked my Welsh accent –YET!

Big hug to you all.
Love Geri xx