Golda Poretsky's Blog
November 13, 2024
Is There Hope For Fat Kids?
by Golda Poretsky, H.H.C.
www.bodylovewellness.com
Every once in a while, I meet someone in their 20′s who’s been part of the fat positive community since his/her young teens. Often, they found fat pride as a result of a late night Google search that led them to a blog or two. They often tell me they never(!) dieted and focused on approving of their body from a young age. Sometimes, they even influenced their friends and spread body positivity in school, college, etc.
I get so excited when I hear these stories. If fat positivity was reaching kids ten years ago, imagine who it’s reaching now! We could be supporting a whole new generation of kids to practice Health At Every Size ®, to know that dieting is not the answer, to know that their bodies are perfect just as they are!
I think this is definitely happening (and if you’re a young’un who reads this blog, please feel free to comment and say hi!) but at the same time, I feel like there is even more pressure on fat kids nowadays to change their bodies. This is nearly unfathomable to me, because as a kid growing up mostly in the 80′s, I felt so much shame and pressure around my fatness, and it’s hard to imagine it being worse. But according to people who ignore statistics, childhood obesity is on the rise. And rather than look at the real issues, like child poverty, food deserts and the fact that our fat shaming society is actually bad
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for kids and their health, groups like Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta decide to put the onus on fat kids, shaming them for, well, eating, and eating at places that actually donate money to the campaign. (By the way, fat activists have been doing some amazing work to take down the so-called “Strong4Life” campaign. If you’re interested in getting involved, check out this site and this Facebook group. For a quick action you can take, sign the petition.)
As I wrote last week, I would really like to live in a society where fat shaming and discrimination are a thing of the past. I hope to meet more and more young folks (and eventually, older folks) who found body acceptance and HAES® early, felt supported in approving of their bodies, and went on to do great things because body image was never an issue.
One way to support this Body Love Revolution is to support the adults in fat children’s lives. So I’d like to share some tips for the parents/guardians/grandparents/aunts/uncles etc. out there. If you’re reading this blog, you’re probably already aware of body positivity and want to instill it in the kids in your life. If you have fat kids, you probably get pressure all the time to do something about their “weight problem.” I can only imagine the pressure you feel. And of course, you only have a limited amount of impact on your kids, since they live in this messed up, fat shaming society too. But here are a few tips just to support you:
1) Demonstrate The Beauty Of Body Diversity — From the beauty industry to the medical industry, we’re bombarded with messages about the kind of bodies that are “good,” “healthy,” and “beautiful.” These categories are often applied to only a tiny segment of the population, and the rest of us are expected to strive to achieve bodies that are more like this ideal. As much as possible, try to show your children that a diversity of bodies is really beautiful. Marilyn Wann’s Fat!So? book is particularly great for this — each chapter features a diversity of arms, bellies, legs etc. to show this beauty in diversity. Whether you’re 7 or 70, it can feel great to have these reminders.
2) Bring Resources With You When You Deal With Authority Figures — There are probably people in your life and your kid’s life who pressure you to get your kid to diet. Diets don’t work for kids or adults, but that doesn’t stop doctors, teachers, etc. from pressuring you to put your kid on one. Having a bit of research in front of you so that you can better advocate for your child can be really helpful. Check out Linda Bacon’s incredibly helpful letters that you can bring with you to help explain why you’re using HAES® with your kids (and yourself).
3) Make Your Home A Body Positive Space — Think of your home as an oasis from fat shame. What might need to change? Maybe there are a few magazines that idealize thin bodies that you don’t want to buy anymore? Maybe you want to tell your friends that you’re going to change the conversation if they start talking about how “bad” they are for eating something. Maybe your bathroom scale needs to be replaced
with something snazzier. Getting intentional about creating a body positive home environment can be great for you and your kids.
4) Don’t Make Weight Loss The Answer — Despite the fact that fatness makes kids a target for bullying, protecting fat kids from bullying seems to be a low priority. Since you hate to see your kids get picked on, you may think that dieting and weight loss are the answer. But they aren’t the answer. They just set your child up for more physical and mental health issues, including low self esteem and negative body image. I’m no expert on bullying, but the more you remind your child that the bully is wrong and that his/her body is perfect the way it is, the better.
5) Get Body Positive Support For Yourself — I think it’s the rare person who escapes childhood and adolescence without body image issues, whether they’re fat or thin. Fat positive community tends to be welcoming to lots of body types, because people understand that fat pride is about acknowledging that body shaming hurts all of us. So look for blogs and groups (whether online or local) that feel supportive. Also consider talking to a HAES therapist or coach (like me!) to support you in feeling great about your body.
Golda is a certified holistic health counselor and founder of Body Love Wellness, a program designed for plus-sized women who are fed up with dieting and want support to stop obsessing about food and weight. Go to http://www.bodylovewellness.com/free to get your free download — Golda’s Top Ten Tips For Divine Dining! And, please join her and twenty of the biggest names in HAES(R) and Fat Acceptance at the Body Love Revolutionaries Telesummit (including Marilyn Wann and Linda Bacon, mentioned above)!
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.elementor-gallery__item-overlay-content__title{opacity:1}a.elementor-item.elementor-gallery-title{color:var(--galleries-title-color-normal)}a.elementor-item.elementor-gallery-title.elementor-item-active,a.elementor-item.elementor-gallery-title.highlighted,a.elementor-item.elementor-gallery-title:focus,a.elementor-item.elementor-gallery-title:hover{color:var(--galleries-title-color-hover)}a.elementor-item.elementor-gallery-title.elementor-item-active{color:var(--gallery-title-color-active)}.e-con-inner>.elementor-widget-gallery,.e-con>.elementor-widget-gallery{width:var(--container-widget-width);--flex-grow:var(--container-widget-flex-grow)} Hi From Golda! /*! elementor - v3.21.0 - 24-04-2024 */.elementor-widget-video .elementor-widget-container{overflow:hidden;transform:translateZ(0)}.elementor-widget-video .elementor-wrapper{aspect-ratio:var(--video-aspect-ratio)}.elementor-widget-video .elementor-wrapper iframe,.elementor-widget-video .elementor-wrapper 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center;object-position:center center}@supports not (aspect-ratio:1/1){.elementor-widget-video .elementor-custom-embed-image-overlay{position:relative;overflow:hidden;height:0;padding-bottom:calc(100% / var(--video-aspect-ratio))}.elementor-widget-video .elementor-custom-embed-image-overlay img{position:absolute;top:0;right:0;bottom:0;left:0}}.elementor-widget-video .e-hosted-video .elementor-video{-o-object-fit:cover;object-fit:cover}.e-con-inner>.elementor-widget-video,.e-con>.elementor-widget-video{width:var(--container-widget-width);--flex-grow:var(--container-widget-flex-grow)} Search Search“I scheduled a session with Golda because I thought she could really help me explore my body issues and learn to love myself how I am. I anticipated spending some time talking about my current body image and some past experiences that have affected it, as well as my goals for the future. Golda helped me map out what my ideas were for how I would like to see myself and treat my body. It was nice using her methods to imagine my future self-image and get some ideas on how to take small steps toward my goals. Anyone who has dreams of having a positive body image, a healthy relationship with food an…”
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October 31, 2024
FREE Body Love Breakthrough Session
by Golda Poretsky, H.H.C.
www.bodylovewellness.com
Then the Body Love Breakthrough Session is for you.
These are the amazing benefits that you can expect from your Body Love Breakthrough Session. Together we’ll:
Create a sense of clarity about the way you desire to feel about your body. Find out the essential building blocks for having the relationship with food and your body that you’ve dreamed of. Discover the #1 thing stopping you from accepting your body and healing your relationship with food. Identify the most powerful actions that will move you towards the relationship with food and your body that you desire. Complete the consultation with the excitement of knowing exactly what you need to do to feel great about your body and heal your relationship with food.
The first step toward your desires is simple, and it’s free.
Just enter your info in the boxes below, and you’ll receive an email from me with further instructions on how to schedule your appointment, as well as a link to a short questionnaire. (Make sure to check your spam folder just in case it ends up there.)
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.elementor-gallery__item-overlay-content__title{opacity:1}a.elementor-item.elementor-gallery-title{color:var(--galleries-title-color-normal)}a.elementor-item.elementor-gallery-title.elementor-item-active,a.elementor-item.elementor-gallery-title.highlighted,a.elementor-item.elementor-gallery-title:focus,a.elementor-item.elementor-gallery-title:hover{color:var(--galleries-title-color-hover)}a.elementor-item.elementor-gallery-title.elementor-item-active{color:var(--gallery-title-color-active)}.e-con-inner>.elementor-widget-gallery,.e-con>.elementor-widget-gallery{width:var(--container-widget-width);--flex-grow:var(--container-widget-flex-grow)} Hi From Golda! /*! elementor - v3.21.0 - 24-04-2024 */.elementor-widget-video .elementor-widget-container{overflow:hidden;transform:translateZ(0)}.elementor-widget-video .elementor-wrapper{aspect-ratio:var(--video-aspect-ratio)}.elementor-widget-video .elementor-wrapper iframe,.elementor-widget-video .elementor-wrapper 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center;object-position:center center}@supports not (aspect-ratio:1/1){.elementor-widget-video .elementor-custom-embed-image-overlay{position:relative;overflow:hidden;height:0;padding-bottom:calc(100% / var(--video-aspect-ratio))}.elementor-widget-video .elementor-custom-embed-image-overlay img{position:absolute;top:0;right:0;bottom:0;left:0}}.elementor-widget-video .e-hosted-video .elementor-video{-o-object-fit:cover;object-fit:cover}.e-con-inner>.elementor-widget-video,.e-con>.elementor-widget-video{width:var(--container-widget-width);--flex-grow:var(--container-widget-flex-grow)} Search Search“I scheduled a session with Golda because I thought she could really help me explore my body issues and learn to love myself how I am. I anticipated spending some time talking about my current body image and some past experiences that have affected it, as well as my goals for the future. Golda helped me map out what my ideas were for how I would like to see myself and treat my body. It was nice using her methods to imagine my future self-image and get some ideas on how to take small steps toward my goals. Anyone who has dreams of having a positive body image, a healthy relationship with food an…”
/*! elementor - v3.21.0 - 24-04-2024 */.elementor-widget-image{text-align:center}.elementor-widget-image a{display:inline-block}.elementor-widget-image a img[src$=".svg"]{width:48px}.elementor-widget-image img{vertical-align:middle;display:inline-block} Support Us When You Shop! The post FREE Body Love Breakthrough Session appeared first on bodylovewe.
October 9, 2024
Hear What Other Clients & Fans Have To Say About Body Love Wellness!
/*! elementor - v3.21.0 - 24-04-2024 */.elementor-widget-text-editor.elementor-drop-cap-view-stacked .elementor-drop-cap{background-color:#69727d;color:#fff}.elementor-widget-text-editor.elementor-drop-cap-view-framed .elementor-drop-cap{color:#69727d;border:3px solid;background-color:transparent}.elementor-widget-text-editor:not(.elementor-drop-cap-view-default) .elementor-drop-cap{margin-top:8px}.elementor-widget-text-editor:not(.elementor-drop-cap-view-default) .elementor-drop-cap-letter{width:1em;height:1em}.elementor-widget-text-editor .elementor-drop-cap{float:left;text-align:center;line-height:1;font-size:50px}.elementor-widget-text-editor .elementor-drop-cap-letter{display:inline-block} I decided to work with Golda because I was struggling with food, weight, my size, diabetes and fear. I could no longer live in a place where I was constantly bad or wrong for who I am.
I wasn’t sure what to expect, but what I found was relief, acceptance and some deep healing. Things I never would have imagined came up for me and Golda supported me in the most loving ways.
I felt supported, heard and not alone on a very deep, heart level. I gained a more loving manner towards myself
and found new ways to work with my resistance like being a kindly researcher. I found ways of living in joy – I found new ways of living and it wasn’t all about weight or food or size.
The things I used to consider my bad problems are now just a part of me and they are not bad. I learned a sense of inherent safety, like I am now safe to fly my proverbial “freak flag” or let those parts of my I have kept hidden in fear and shame now they shine in freedom and I am safe with that.
Anyone who struggles with loving themselves or anyone who feels bad about themselves should consider working with Golda.
Shannon, Texas
“I can’t recommend her highly enough.”
Working with Golda has been a truly inspiring experience.
Having heard her speak at the Abundia Retreat, I decided to join the Big Beautiful Goddess Academy. Every week, it was like connecting with the most wise, caring friend.
Golda’s sensitivity is amazing, and her insights about self-care through expression of your emotions and setting your boundaries, along with her thoughts on
mindful eating, and her acknowledge of the importance of pleasure and play in your life were so very valuable to me. I use her suggestions every day and feel my life is more balanced and happier because of the commitment to self-care I made during the Academy.
Golda is keenly insightful, so very bright, and completely understanding of the journey of self-acceptance I am on. I have felt so much more confident, happy, beautiful, and centered since working with her, and I can’t recommend her highly enough.
Since our six weeks together, I’ve made grade strides in my work on loving myself and living the best life I can – including posing semi-nude (holding a sign) for Golda’s “I Embrace Body Love” campaign. I felt like a superhero when I shared my picture with family and friends! Thank you, Golda, for helping me find my inner goddess heroine!
Megan, Chicago, IL
“I promise you, you will not regret taking this step to love yourself in the present tense.”
I chose to work with Golda because I was tired of belittling my body. I knew there was more to life than analyzing my reflection in a mirror. I was expecting just toleration of my body, instead a whole world of acceptance and present living was opened up to me.
Golda helped me see that life is a PROCESS and that my body is beautiful the way it is, not the way it could be/was. I am able to forgive myself for slip ups and constantly use positive affirmations within. Before my time
with Golda, this was not even a concept, now I do it almost every day. I know how to deduce when my stomach is hungry as opposed to when my soul is starving.
If you are tired of hating your body, of looking in the mirror and wondering what if, if you want to grab at the world with all you have to offer, then please, take advantage of this program. I promise you, you will not regret taking this step to love yourself in the present tense.
Hannah, Portland, Oregon
“I couldn’t stand feeling bad about myself any more.”
I decided to work with Golda because I couldn’t stand feeling bad about myself any more. I had gained 50 lbs “interest” from dieting, and my body image was really suffering. I’d come home from clothes shopping, and cry hysterically. I was afraid to perform in my new size, since I was afraid of how people would react to a fat dancer. And because I had had several injuries in just a few years, I felt like my body was broken.I wasn’t sure what to expect from working with Golda; I just knew that I needed help.
Golda was kind, funny, and a great listener, so she
with Golda, this was not even a concept, now I do it almost every day. I know how to deduce when my stomach is hungry as opposed to when my soul is starving.
If you are tired of hating your body, of looking in the mirror and wondering what if, if you want to grab at the world with all you have to offer, then please, take advantage of this program. I promise you, you will not regret taking this step to love yourself in the present tense.
Hannah, Portland, Oregon
“The results I had from this course were beyond anything I could have imagined.”
I’m not the same woman that joined this club 6 months ago. The results I had from this course were way beyond anything I could have imagined.
In her group program, I found a community of people to help support me through some really tough stuff, and it allowed me to be open to anything that came my way. Being a part of a community of women who had the same issues that I had and were so supportive was amazing. It was great to realize that I wasn’t alone and had so many people that I didn’t even know supporting me and cheering me on. I gained so much confidence and found myself taking care of me much more.
I originally signed up for it because I wanted to end my struggles with food and lose weight. What I had hoped to gain from this experience was nothing compared to what I got out of this group. I came in looking to heal my relationship with food, and I got that, but that was only part of it. I realized how my body image issues were affecting my relationship with food and my life as a whole. I started the course not evening wanting to be naked in my own house–toward the end of the course I was able to be naked at a local spa and feel totally comfortable and ready for the experience.
We all have areas of our bodies that we don’t like or have trouble with specific body image issues. This course helps in a non-threatening way to start breaking down those walls so that you can really be the woman you are meant to be. I recommend her work for all women!
Autumn Cummings, Washington State
“I am deeply grateful for Golda’s work in my life.”I decided to work with Golda because I’ve long dealt with body image issues and I have wanted and needed some support in moving forward with them. It is my deep desire to know that I am beautiful inside and out – and to carry myself with pride and respect for who I am. However, I’ve often gotten stuck feeling too big to wear the clothes I want to wear, or that I’m too fat to be beautiful, and just generally feel uncomfortable in my body.
Working with Golda has been truly amazing. Not only is she kind, compassionate, funny, and real (amazing in and of itself!), but she also is extremely creative in the process- giving me “homeplay” assignments in the time between our sessions and using her skills in ways that got me out of some stuck places I had been.
Already, I feel different. I have stood up more for my body, I have worn some clothes I wouldn’t have worn before because I thought they were too tight (mostly I wear clothes that are too big), and I feel myself on the edge of some big shifts and changes. I would recommend Body Love Wellness to anyone who wants to love their body more but has no idea how to do that. I am deeply grateful for Golda’s work in my life and I highly recommend entering this process with her.
Kathy
“There really is life after disordered eating, and so far it is wonderful.”I decided to work with Golda because after years of living with the remnants of an eating disorder, I wanted to be completely free. From a teleclass, her blog, and my Body Love Breakthrough session, I could tell Golda is warm, creative, and non-judgmental – the remedy to the failed attempts with mainstream counseling I’d tried before.
I expected to learn to eat more mindfully and to get to the root of my issues with food and exercise. By working hard with Golda’s guidance, I have done this and more. She taught me to connect with my body in a way I never have before and really tuned into the issues holding me back. No problem was too out there or difficult. The sense of self trust I’ve gained has taken the stress out of areas of my life I didn’t even realize were related to my issues with food and exercise.
There really is life after disordered eating, and so far it is wonderful. I recommend the program to anyone ready to put in the work to make a change and give up on behaviors and attitudes that are negatively impacting life.
S.B., Colorado
“I’d spent a lifetime trying to get where I am now.”Working with Golda was a pleasure. I looked forward to our calls each month, and I think the main reason was because I knew that no matter what, Golda would be supportive, encouraging, and she’d offer me valuable insight and information. Golda even indulged my foray into yet another diet. It was almost as if she knew I’d come to my senses on my own, and I did!
Putting Golda’s suggestions to work has resulted in a new relationship with food. I now stand for my body; I eat when I am hungry, choosing healthy foods that my body asks for, and I stop when I am full. Sounds simple, but I’d spent a lifetime trying to get where I am now. Golda’s approach of support and encouragement mixed with really smart and useful information has been the key to my new relationship with food, and it feels great!!!
AA, Connecticut
“Deciding to join The Empress Club was one of the best decisions I ever made.
I’m not the same woman that joined this club 6 months ago. The results I had from this course were way beyond anything I could have imagined.
In her group program, I found a community of people to help support me through some really tough stuff, and it allowed me to be open to anything that came my way. Being a part of a community of women who had the same issues that I had and were so supportive was amazing. It was great to realize that I wasn’t alone and had so many people that I didn’t even know supporting me and cheering me on. I gained so much confidence and found myself taking care of me much more.
I originally signed up for it because I wanted to end my struggles with food and lose weight. What I had hoped to gain from this experience was nothing compared to what I got out of this group. I came in looking to heal my relationship with food, and I got that, but that was only part of it. I realized how my body image issues were affecting my relationship with food and my life as a whole. I started the course not evening wanting to be naked in my own house–toward the end of the course I was able to be naked at a local spa and feel totally comfortable and ready for the experience.
We all have areas of our bodies that we don’t like or have trouble with specific body image issues. This course helps in a non-threatening way to start breaking down those walls so that you can really be the woman you are meant to be. I recommend her work for all women!
Autumn Cummings, Washington State
The post Hear What Other Clients & Fans Have To Say About Body Love Wellness! appeared first on bodylovewe.
October 3, 2024
Dealing With Negative Comments About Your Body
by Golda Poretsky, H.H.C.
www.bodylovewellness.com
In the last few weeks, I’ve had several clients and readers ask me about dealing with negative comments about their bodies.
Ugh. This stuff makes me so angry.
So I want to address negative comments head on and give you some tools for dealing with them, because, frankly, I’ve had enough of this crap.
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A Little Context
I don’t really follow non-plus-sized fashion very much, so until this week I had never heard of the swimsuit model Kate Upton (I actually had her confused with the awesome Nancy Upton, but I digress.) Lately, Kate Upton has been torn apart by bloggers for being too fat, having “huge” thighs, etc.
I bring this up only to demonstrate that nowadays, everyone’s body (especially non-male bodies) are apparently up for debate, scrutiny and derision. No one is immune from it, not even swimsuit models.
Of course, there is still a difference between being a straight size swimsuit model and being a size 12 or 22 or 32 (and the degree of comments you get at those different sizes), and the war on obesity rhetoric isn’t helping. Fueling societal scapegoating of fatness with rhetoric about fat causing rising health care costs and pushing the idea that fat people are just a bunch of soda swilling, cheeto eating, lazypants (while thin people mostly hike and eat homemade granola from biodegradable rucksacks) makes commenting on someone’s fatness into a sort of public health message.
Why am I sharing all of that with you? Because I think sometimes you need a reminder that negative comments about your body aren’t even really about your body, they’re about society and our society’s wrongheaded and impossibly narrow definition of a “good” body. Your body didn’t do anything wrong. What’s fucked up about your body is not your body at all, but that your body has to live in a society that thinks it has a right to say fucked up things about your body.
At the same time, I realize that societal change is often glacially slow and reminding you that society is messed up may help you at some times and not others. So I want to share some more tips with you on dealing with negative comments in certain circumstances.
Some Tips For Dealing With Negative Comments
On The Street Harassment
This is some awful shit. If you have to deal with street harassment on any kind of regular basis, I am so sorry.
I don’t have a lot of personal experience with this, and I’m not sure why. It may be that I developed a serious “don’t fuck with me” look in my teens that has served me all of these years, or it may just be luck. I have no idea.
But here are some things to remember:
Your Reaction In The Moment Is Perfect — Whether you slam the harasser with a witty retort, silently keep moving, and/or report it to the police, your reaction is perfect. You don’t have to do anything, you don’t even have to respond. It’s not your job to fix the situation or deal with it or whatever. The harasser is wrong and you’re right and that’s that.Your Reaction Afterward Is Perfect — A client recently shared with me that she was walking with her friends and a man pointed to her and said something rude about her fatness. She acted like she didn’t care at the time but when she got home she was really upset and cried about it. Part of the reason why she cried was that she was mad at herself for getting upset about it. I think it’s really important in these situations to let yourself feel your feelings. You have the right to feel however you feel about someone commenting on your body. The reality is that there is an ebb and flow to all of our lives. Sometimes, you may feel really great about yourself and your body and a nasty comment rolls right off your back like nothing. And maybe on another day you’re feeling a little more insecure and the negative comment really hurts. That’s the reality of life, and there is nothing wrong with feeling the way you feel.Comments From People You Know
This stuff is seriously problematic. I think we’ve all had people in our lives (family members, friends, work colleagues) who think it’s completely fine to comment on our bodies and how we look.
Unsolicited commentary on your body is not okay, and the people in your life need to be reminded of that. However, it can be EXTREMELY DIFFICULT to get people who are used to giving you negative comments to stop. (I also realize that in some cases it can be literally unsafe to do so, so it’s important to seek out professional assistance with this if you’re in that situation.)
Keep in mind, again, that your response to receiving negative comments, whether you talk back or don’t, cry or don’t, etc. is perfect. You don’t have to respond or do anything you don’t want to do.
However, if you’re looking for a way to change the dynamic with people in your life who make negative comments about your body, please consider actively setting boundaries with them. This can be a little tricky, so I recommend checking out this post on boundary setting for some in depth help with it.
On The Internet
DO NOT BOTHER. If someone says stuff about you on your blog, facebook page, whatever, do not engage. Delete their comments. Block their IP addresses. This is one instance where you have a lot of control, so don’t waste any of your precious energy on them. Seriously.
A Final Note
I don’t think there’s any way to make yourself completely immune from negative comments. Words hurt, you’re human, and it’s natural to feel shame, embarrassment, anger, etc. when someone makes negative comments about your body.
However, one of the best things you can do to soften the impact is to strengthen your self esteem and body image. When you know in your heart of hearts that you are fabulous other people’s opinions of you will matter less. That’s one of the many reasons why I do the work I do!
I hope this helps the next time you have to deal with negative comments. Let me know how it goes in the comments section below!
P.S. I think I may do a companion piece on dealing with positive or supposedly positive comments about your body, because that can be really complicated too. If that’s something you’d like to read about, let me know in the comments!
Golda is a certified holistic health counselor and founder of Body Love Wellness, a program designed for plus-sized women who are fed up with dieting and want support to stop obsessing about food and weight. If you’re in or near NYC this August, don’t miss her LIVE workshop: Rounded Letters: A Body Image Workshop For Women Who Love To Write. Check it out here.
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center;object-position:center center}@supports not (aspect-ratio:1/1){.elementor-widget-video .elementor-custom-embed-image-overlay{position:relative;overflow:hidden;height:0;padding-bottom:calc(100% / var(--video-aspect-ratio))}.elementor-widget-video .elementor-custom-embed-image-overlay img{position:absolute;top:0;right:0;bottom:0;left:0}}.elementor-widget-video .e-hosted-video .elementor-video{-o-object-fit:cover;object-fit:cover}.e-con-inner>.elementor-widget-video,.e-con>.elementor-widget-video{width:var(--container-widget-width);--flex-grow:var(--container-widget-flex-grow)} Search Search“I scheduled a session with Golda because I thought she could really help me explore my body issues and learn to love myself how I am. I anticipated spending some time talking about my current body image and some past experiences that have affected it, as well as my goals for the future. Golda helped me map out what my ideas were for how I would like to see myself and treat my body. It was nice using her methods to imagine my future self-image and get some ideas on how to take small steps toward my goals. Anyone who has dreams of having a positive body image, a healthy relationship with food an…”
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September 22, 2024
September 19, 2024
EXTENDED! Giveaway For “No Diet Day!”
Hello my dear BLW-ers!
I know it’s been wayyyy too long.
So much has changed in the last few years. I’m not doing very much coaching anymore. For better or worse, I’m back i
n the corporate world working as an attorney again.
And though I loved working for myself (and, most important, working with rad fat women), having a steady job has allowed me to pursue one of the great loves of my life, which is music.
The post EXTENDED! Giveaway For “No Diet Day!” appeared first on bodylovewe.
September 16, 2024
Hello world!
Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start writing!
The post Hello world! appeared first on bodylovewe.
March 9, 2024
Contact Golda
Golda is no longer taking new clients at this time, but feel free to sign up for her newsletter to stay up to date on our latest events, offers and free resources:
Stay Connected!Get my top 5 Body Love Tips and more when you subscribe!
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April 18, 2021
How To Handle Haters Hating
by Golda Poretsky, H.H.C.
www.bodylovewellness.com
Last week, I had a weirdly cathartic moment watching a Yankees vs. Red Sox game. The game was at Fenway, and I noticed that each time Alex Rodriguez (who is a Yankee) walked to the plate, he was greeted by a roar of tens of thousands of people booing him.
I realize that a Yankee getting booed in Boston is nothing new. Yet, I started to think about how strange it must be to get booed for doing your job really well. Whether they hate his personal life or the Yankees or whatever, most people would agree that, at least based on the numbers, Alex Rodriguez is one of the greatest players in the history of baseball, right? And yet, he pretty much gets booed in every away game in every stadium across the country.
I had actually decided to watch that game that day because I was feeling really fed up. I had just received a couple of really fat-hating comments on my blog, and an email from a woman who thought my work was too “women-centric.” Watching the game was a little retreat for me. And yet, I found myself feeling good as I watched ARod get booed. Not from schadenfreude, but because it was really inspiring. Seeing him get hit after hit, despite the booing, reminded me of this really important lesson.
Haters gonna hate. That’s just what they do.
As a proponent of Health At Every Size and a fat activist, I know what it’s like to push ahead despite the presence of vociferous haters. The more my work gets out there, the more hateful comments I get, the more angry emails I get, the more funny looks I get.
Whether you’ve just been dabbling in body acceptance or you’re a full-on fat activist, you’ve probably experienced similar things. And because none of us have a $30-million a year contract to keep us going, I think it’s important to look at how to keep going in the face of haters. How do you stand in your commitment to being at peace with your body when the “common wisdom” (a wisdom which is paid for by the $60 billion a year diet industry, among other industries) is against you?
1) Your New Mantra — “Haters Gonna Hate” — I’m a big proponent of using really positive affirmations strategically to change internal thought patterns, so “haters gonna hate” is not the kind of mantra that I’d usually recommend. I do find, however, that “haters gonna hate” is an extremely powerful phrase to use when hatred for your choices is coming your way. It’s a reminder that there will always be haters — people in your life who like to denigrate what you’re all about — and it’s pretty much their job to hate. So if haters are hating on you, that’s just what they do, and you can let it go. You can, then, really focus your attention on people who love what you’re about or are at least open-minded about it, instead of taking that hater’s hate to heart.
2) The Alternative Is No Alternative — If you’ve already started to experiment with body positivity and Health At Every Size, it’s pretty much impossible to go back to full-on body hatred and the belief that you should “do something” about your weight. It creates extreme cognitive dissonance to sit in a Weight Watchers’ meeting fiddling with your points tracker and flagellating yourself over gaining .4 pounds when you’ve been reading body positive blogs all weekend. It just doesn’t work, at least not for long.
3) Being A Revolutionary Is Never Easy — Being body positive in a world where teenagers are getting botox and Dove is pushing deodorant that makes your “unsightly” underarms look prettier is not easy. You are bucking an entrenched system that tells you that hating your body is the right way to feel and that feeling that way is for your own good. This sort of revolution is the kind that “has to be believed to be seen.”* We have to outpicture for ourselves a world where people’s bodies, no matter what their size, are treated with respect and love. Not only that, we have to “be the change we wish to see in the world”** by actively being positive about our bodies, refusing to engage in negative body talk, refusing to engage in diet talk, wearing clothes that make us feel good rather than hide, and having conversations about why the pathologizing of fat hurts us all. This can be an extremely tall order and cause tension — but it’s necessary tension. We might not always do a perfect job at it either, but that’s okay. If we want to truly change the world we have to be easier on ourselves about being uneasy.
Feel free to let me know what helps you when the haters start hating.
Golda is a certified holistic health counselor and founder of Body Love Wellness, a program designed for plus-sized women who are fed up with dieting and want support to stop obsessing about food and weight. To learn more about Golda and her work, click here.
*I’m quoting a U2 song here (“Walk On”). I really wanted to quote Emma Goldman or Martin Luther King, Jr. and I somehow went with Bono.
**Gandhi quote! Yes!
“I scheduled a session with Golda because I thought she could really help me explore my body issues and learn to love myself how I am. I anticipated spending some time talking about my current body image and some past experiences that have affected it, as well as my goals for the future. Golda helped me map out what my ideas were for how I would like to see myself and treat my body. It was nice using her methods to imagine my future self-image and get some ideas on how to take small steps toward my goals. Anyone who has dreams of having a positive body image, a healthy relationship with food an…”
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