Wayne Zurl's Blog - Posts Tagged "bloggers"
ON BAD REVIEWS
ON BAD REVIEWS
By Wayne Zurl
Some people have no bedside manner. That’s certainly true of a few (or more) book reviewers.
Don’t you hate to get bombed by a blogger who has only six followers and spends most of his/her time passing judgment on throw-away diapers or kitchen appliances? You ask yourself, “Why didn’t he/she leave my book alone and pick up a Veg-O-Matic?”
How should you handle the pain of a bad review? Let’s take it by the numbers and I’ll give you my thoughts.
1-Allow the steam to escape from your ears before proceeding.
2-Get all thoughts of physical violence and verbal retribution out of your system before moving on to step three.
3-Look at the poorly worded, opinionated, juvenile, asinine, obnoxious, nasty, insensitive, grits-for-brains review, written by an obviously uneducated, mentally challenged cretin OBJECTIVELY and assess its merit. Perhaps among all the hurtful statements, something can be learned from a valid point (no matter how ill-phrased.)
4-Do not immediately click on Amazon’s comment box and write, “Oh, Yeah? I HATE YOU!”
5-If you must reply, (and there may not be a necessity to do so) you owe the reviewer (and your reputation) civility. Type in: “Thanks for your opinion,” perhaps accompanied by a short and professionally worded statement and send it on its way. Then without delay, grab a pen and paper, and for your mental wellbeing, finish your thoughts with: You moron! Up yours! What makes you think you’d know a good book/story/poem (strike out those that do not apply) if it bit you in the ass? After you’re finished, crumble up your handwritten message and throw it at the cat. Your psychotherapist will be proud of you for practicing catharsis.
My best advice (and who follows his/her own advice?): Don’t dwell on the negative thoughts of others. Most great authors have received negative criticism from someone.
My second best advice (and I like this one much better): If available, print out a photo of the reviewer and hope you see them on the street some day. Take this advice as something coming from a middle-aged kid originally from Brooklyn.
By Wayne Zurl
Some people have no bedside manner. That’s certainly true of a few (or more) book reviewers.
Don’t you hate to get bombed by a blogger who has only six followers and spends most of his/her time passing judgment on throw-away diapers or kitchen appliances? You ask yourself, “Why didn’t he/she leave my book alone and pick up a Veg-O-Matic?”
How should you handle the pain of a bad review? Let’s take it by the numbers and I’ll give you my thoughts.
1-Allow the steam to escape from your ears before proceeding.
2-Get all thoughts of physical violence and verbal retribution out of your system before moving on to step three.
3-Look at the poorly worded, opinionated, juvenile, asinine, obnoxious, nasty, insensitive, grits-for-brains review, written by an obviously uneducated, mentally challenged cretin OBJECTIVELY and assess its merit. Perhaps among all the hurtful statements, something can be learned from a valid point (no matter how ill-phrased.)
4-Do not immediately click on Amazon’s comment box and write, “Oh, Yeah? I HATE YOU!”
5-If you must reply, (and there may not be a necessity to do so) you owe the reviewer (and your reputation) civility. Type in: “Thanks for your opinion,” perhaps accompanied by a short and professionally worded statement and send it on its way. Then without delay, grab a pen and paper, and for your mental wellbeing, finish your thoughts with: You moron! Up yours! What makes you think you’d know a good book/story/poem (strike out those that do not apply) if it bit you in the ass? After you’re finished, crumble up your handwritten message and throw it at the cat. Your psychotherapist will be proud of you for practicing catharsis.
My best advice (and who follows his/her own advice?): Don’t dwell on the negative thoughts of others. Most great authors have received negative criticism from someone.
My second best advice (and I like this one much better): If available, print out a photo of the reviewer and hope you see them on the street some day. Take this advice as something coming from a middle-aged kid originally from Brooklyn.
