Anna Rajmon's Blog - Posts Tagged "empowerment"

A heart shattered into a thousand pieces is considered one of the greatest pains a person can experience. Many studies confirm that during emotional distress, the same receptors are activated in the brain as when we feel physical pain. It’s fascinating that when we are betrayed by someone close to us, our brain perceives it as if we have broken a leg. Who among us hasn’t gone through this? You open up, trust, and become vulnerable in the most terrifying way – and then comes the stab. The person you trusted takes a knife and stabs you in the back.

Despite how much it hurts, these traumas strengthen us. They have something to offer, something to teach us, and ultimately, they make us stronger. That is unless you’re someone who longs for revenge. In that case, there’s no help for you – stop reading and go elsewhere. I’m planning an article titled “How to Get Revenge” on February 31st, 2025.

Revenge may tempt us because it gives us a sense of achieving justice, but the truth is that, in most cases, we only end up hurting ourselves. The satisfaction of getting even quickly fades, leaving us with an even greater sense of emptiness in the end.

When something like this happens to you, you tend to break down. You can’t believe that someone could do this to you. It’s usually the person around whom your entire world revolved and for whom you’d have been willing to breathe. Sad, isn’t it? But accept that not everyone is like you, and not everyone feels the way you do. The world is a beautiful yet cruel place where good people live alongside scoundrels rotten to the core. It’s like living in a comic book – you fight evil or become it. It all depends on which side you find yourself on.

After such suffering, when every breath you take is filled with the hope that this isn’t happening, you eventually come to terms with the fact that it really did happen – to you. And you move on. But the way you step forward matters!

If a partner has hurt you and you decide to cope with the pain by dating and seeking one-night stands, this is a common way of dealing with it. However, it’s also a way of proving to yourself that you don’t need that person anymore and that you still have what it takes – while sinking deeper into a single life. In the end, this usually leads to feelings of emptiness and guilt. And so it goes on – day by day, year by year – until suddenly you’re over fifty, and on your online dating profile, under the “What are you looking for?” section, it says “still figuring it out.”


Another option is to shut yourself off completely. After a phase of mourning, you take all the garbage that has piled up on you, crumple it up, and shove it deep into your soul, labelling it “highly toxic.” You start to believe that there’s no one out there who could ever interest you again because they’re all bastards with a strong desire to hurt you. Sure, nearly eight billion people on our round planet were born with one goal: to find you, destroy you, tarnish your name, and hurt you. That’s called paranoia.

So you reject all lucrative offers for dates because you’re scared stiff of what might happen if you open up again. Instead, you prefer to stay alone and isolated, feeding your ten cats every day, and while brushing their fur, you’ll discuss with them how unfair life is.

I understand that it hurts, perhaps more than anyone else, but we only have one life, so if you want to be happy and not feel like you’re running away from yourself, there’s a third option. And it requires immense courage, determination, and resilience – but it’s the healthiest option.

It’s said that we attract what we are, and this statement is about 70% true. In the remaining 30%, we attract some really bizarre individuals – people who want to inject their DNA into you, some questionable creatures, narcissists with low self-esteem, gold-diggers, manipulative liars, and so on. It’s as if there’s been an explosion of such malicious types, and suddenly they’re everywhere. Maybe deep down, you’re one of them, but most likely, they’ve somehow found their way into your life. To be honest, I recommend getting rid of them as quickly as possible. They won’t bring you anything good.

You are the only one with control over your life, happiness, suffering, dreams, desires, and everything life offers. You can either flounder in the mud or finally start living. Don’t let failures knock you to your knees. Blaming others won’t help either because ultimately, whether you want to or not, every evil and good situation in life gives you something. It all depends on how you approach and deal with it.

If you are happy and content with yourself, you will attract people with the same outlook and balance. It’s incredibly hard to achieve, but nothing is impossible with strong willpower and self-control.

It takes time to work through the pain, but it’s essential. This is called the Kubler-Ross model, and it involves five stages: denial – I’ve already mentioned that; anger – learn to work with it, throw things, start boxing, running, physical activity is a real helper in this stage; then bargaining – I call this the “what if” phase. You feel it’s your fault and that you could have changed things if you’d done something differently. But no, you couldn’t, and it’s probably not your fault anyway. It just happened. Depression is the penultimate stage. “Welcome; how long do you plan to stay?” It hurts, of course, but it will pass, and you’ll get through this stage until you finally reach acceptance. It doesn’t always happen in this order, but acceptance usually arrives in the end, even if you tend to slip back into previous stages. Everyone takes a different amount of time, but it’s better to go through it now than to bottle it up and have to deal with it later.
Explore what you enjoy, and try new things—reading, golf, horseback riding, learning, taking courses, sports activities, or social engagements. If you aren’t happy with yourself, you can’t expect someone else to be pleased with you. Give yourself permission to breathe your own air and live your own life. When the right time comes, you’ll attract the people you want in your life.

And yes, it would be naive to think that you’ll never again be gripped by thoughts of escape whenever your brain reminds you of horror-like conspiracy theories about “what could happen?” The fear of getting hurt is absolutely normal, and we all carry it within us. But if you don’t try, you don’t win. We live in a beautiful world, and it’s almost a miracle how everything works and that we can even be here. The fast-paced world created by humans often blinds us, and we fail to see what’s essential and magical. Appreciating the little things and finding joy in everyday wonders is a magic we should all embrace.

“You find a man, fall in love, and you’ll be happy together. He should be someone who takes care of you and who provides for you financially.”
Anna Rajmon
But why would a woman need such a man? Why does everyone feel that a woman can’t take care of herself? No offence, gentlemen, but most of us are more hard-working, capable, and intelligent than the male population.

For many of us, this could be the romantic dream: a prince on a white horse, galloping towards you with the wind in his hair. But life isn’t a Jane Austen novel, and the reality is that if there is any prince on a white horse, he’s probably crawling on a sickly old turtle that’s lost its way six times. By the time he reaches you, you’ll be an old, sad lady with eight cats, and many men will have passed through your life in the meantime.

Men who, at first glance, seem like the perfect choice, but after a few months, you find out they’re liars, cheaters, narcissists, emotionally immature, or still tied to their mother’s apron strings. And if you’re really unlucky, it’ll be one man with all these qualities combined. Why is it still seen as necessary for a woman to have a partner, and if she’s single – by choice – there must be something wrong with her? If you’re without a partner for too long, you’re considered bitter, strange, like there’s something wrong with you. I’m almost surprised people don’t throw tomatoes at you while waving flaming torches. You’re nearly treated as if you’re a witch, while a single man is seen as a competent, intelligent individual who simply hasn’t been lucky enough to meet the right woman. It’s a bit unbalanced, isn’t it?

In any case, I believe none of us should be pressured into anything we don’t want. If there are women who feel they’ve found their “Mr Right,” then that's good for them, and that’s wonderful. Some relationships really do work. But if you’re like me, a woman who’s fed up with men and thinks that finding a normal one is an almost impossible task, and you’ve given up, that’s perfectly fine, too. Men occasionally fix things, and some of them are good in bed, but beyond that, they don’t serve much purpose. Most of the time, they stress us out, argue with us, and leave behind a trail of crumbs and dirty laundry wherever they go. They leave little trails like snails.

Sure, there might be a Mr Right out there somewhere, but isn’t it far better to focus on yourself in the meantime? If someone appears, that’s great, but we should let things come to us naturally. Dating sites are full of life’s veterans, who, at an age when most women already know what they want, are still trying to figure out what they actually expect from life. You’ll find profiles with things like “I’m fifty and still don’t know what I want” or “Looking for a serious relationship, but short-term is fine too.”

Do we really need this? In most cases, it’s like dating a child trapped in a man’s body. When we’re single, there are so many benefits, and we can achieve so much. Every woman can focus on herself. We live in the 21st century, and most of us know exactly what we want from life. There’s nothing wrong with being single. In fact, I believe it’s one of the strongest choices a woman can make. Being single isn’t a failure, but rather a conscious and brave decision.

Choosing not to follow the crowd, but to step out of it, is always highly valued – especially by the person who made that choice. Sometimes, fear of being alone keeps us trapped in this socially acceptable cage. However, most people in relationships are unhappy, and very few of those who are single by choice find themselves in the same situation. Those who choose to breathe their own air are usually the people who know exactly what they want from life and fully understand that they are not alone because they have themselves. And they can achieve great things if they put their mind to it. The most complex decisions in life are often the ones that bring us the greatest results, and self-love is a powerful thing. Many of us, after ending one relationship, look for “painkillers” in the form of another man, but remember, we attract what we are. If we are content with ourselves, strong and independent, it’s highly likely we will attract people with the same mindset, and we’ll send the energy vampires away before they even step into our world. Don’t be afraid to love yourself – it’s the best thing you can do for yourself. Self-love, in reasonable amounts, is healthy!

Women should focus on their own personal growth and stop caring about what everyone else thinks. The most important person is you, and no one but you should be responsible for your successes. Living up to society’s, friends’, or family’s expectations will only make you unhappy if it goes against your own beliefs.

Ultimately, there’s no one-size-fits-all path. Some of us may find happiness in a relationship with a man who will be our partner and support. But if we discover that true fulfilment comes from building a life on our own terms and values, that is an equally valid choice. Whether with a partner or without, the key is recognising our own worth.

So, let’s stop worrying about what society, family, or friends expect from us. The most important thing is our own convictions and decisions that lead us to a fulfilled life. We are strong, capable, and fully competent to shape our own destiny – whether someone is walking beside us or not.


- Anna Rajmon

The strength of a woman is a force that transcends physical limitations, a power that lies in resilience, determination, and the capacity to endure and overcome challenges both extraordinary and mundane. Women have, for centuries, proven their ability to rise above adversity, yet too often, this strength is overlooked—not only by others but by women themselves. It is vital to acknowledge and celebrate this power, to reflect on what it means to be a woman and to recognise why self-respect is one of the most important gifts we can offer ourselves.

One of the most compelling examples of female strength comes from stories of women performing seemingly impossible feats in moments of crisis. Consider the documented cases of mothers who, fuelled by the surge of adrenaline known as “hysterical strength,” have lifted cars to rescue their trapped children. This is not a fictional trope; it is a scientific reality that underscores how a woman’s instinct to protect and nurture can unlock immense physical power. It’s not merely the act of lifting the car that stands out—it is the profound determination, the refusal to let circumstances dictate outcomes, that truly defines such moments.

The internet is full of similar examples. There are stories of women pulling loved ones from the wreckage of car accidents, surviving in extreme environments for days on sheer willpower, or facing life-threatening situations with courage that defies all odds. These stories resonate because they remind us of what lies within us: a deep, untapped reservoir of strength that often reveals itself in moments when it is most needed.

But it is not only in these dramatic, headline-grabbing moments that women show their strength. In truth, the most remarkable demonstrations of female resilience happen quietly, every single day. Women balance careers with caregiving, navigate societal pressures, and manage responsibilities that are often invisible to others. The mental and emotional labour that women bear is immense; it requires a constant juggling act, a near-superhuman ability to prioritise and persevere. Yet, because this strength is so routine, it is easy to take for granted—or worse, dismiss entirely.

For centuries, women have been conditioned to believe that they are the “weaker sex.” This notion has perpetuated cycles of self-doubt and undervaluation. But biology and psychology tell a different story. Women are equipped with extraordinary endurance, whether through the physical demands of pregnancy and childbirth or the mental fortitude required to navigate a world that often demands more from them than from their male counterparts. It is this ability to endure, to rise above, and to adapt that makes the strength of a woman so unique.

And yet, despite this, women often fail to give themselves the respect they deserve. Too frequently, we downplay our achievements or compare ourselves unfavourably to others. Society’s standards—whether related to appearance, career success, or relationships—are harsh, and women are often held to impossible expectations. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and a diminished sense of self-worth. Recognising this pattern is the first step toward breaking it; valuing ourselves, on our own terms, is an act of defiance and empowerment.

There is also an argument, often unspoken but deeply felt, that life might be easier as a man. Men are not subjected to the physical demands of menstruation, pregnancy, or menopause. They are less frequently judged for their appearance and often navigate career advancement without the burden of proving their capability at every step. However, the challenges women face—while undeniable—are also a source of profound strength. It is through these experiences that women develop empathy, resilience, and adaptability. These qualities are not just survival mechanisms; they are the building blocks of greatness.

To be a woman is to carry within oneself the power to transform pain into purpose, to find strength in vulnerability, and to achieve balance in chaos. It is not an easy path, and it is certainly not without its frustrations. Yet, it is a path that comes with its own unique rewards. Every woman has within her the capacity to inspire others—not only through extraordinary acts of heroism but through the quiet, steadfast way she meets the challenges of life head-on.


This strength deserves recognition—not only from society but, most importantly, from ourselves. Self-respect is not a luxury; it is a necessity. To respect ourselves means to honour our achievements, to celebrate our resilience, and to reject the narratives that tell us we are not enough. It is an act of rebellion, yes, but also an act of love.

Let us take pride in what it means to be a woman. Let us remind ourselves of the stories that prove our strength, whether they are tales of women lifting cars or simply the quiet, uncelebrated victories of everyday life. And let us never forget that our power lies not only in what we do but in who we are. For that alone is something to be proud of.

Ladies, please, let us be kind to one another and treat each other with respect. Each of us is fighting our own inner battles, wrestling with demons that others cannot see or even imagine. Let’s uplift and support one another, knowing that empathy and understanding are the strongest gifts we can give. Together, we can create a world where our shared strength becomes a beacon of hope and resilience for all.

May 2025 be a year where each of us discovers our inner strength and determination!

A year where we bravely face challenges while treating ourselves with the kindness and respect we deserve. I wish for you to find peace in your decisions, joy in the little things, and pride in who you are. Remember, your strength lies not only in what you accomplish but in simply being yourself. Wishing you health, happiness, and unwavering confidence in your abilities for the year ahead!


- Anna Rajmon