Dave Anderson's Blog

We don’t coddle people.  We care for them.

Some leaders are soft. They mistakenly believe that being nice is always the best choice. Unfortunately, they miss the point.  The goal of leadership is not being nice. A leader’s calling is to make the people around them better. Sometimes making someone better means we care about them more than we care about being nice.

When you look back on the coaches in your life who had the most impact on you, they probably weren’t always nice.  They probably told you some hard truths about yourself or your performance.  Those truths may have stung when they said them. But they said them because they cared.  As my friend Colonel (Retired) Craig Flowers says, “We don’t coddle people. We care for them.”  Sometimes the most caring thing you can do for someone is to challenge them.

When we care about someone, we want what is best for them. We see who they could be or should be, and we challenge their current choices.  We engage in uncomfortable conversations because we truly believe that is what is best for them.

Being nice may feel good to us and to them at the moment, but are they better as a result of that nice conversation?  Don’t get me wrong, we must always treat people with respect and value who they are.  But again, one of the best ways we can show respect for someone and value them is to push them to be more than who they are currently being.

In my decades of coaching people how to coach people, I run into too many leaders who hesitate to say the hard truths. Some leaders water down the truth in an attempt to be nice at the moment.  Many times, it is not because the individual can’t handle a challenging conversation, it is because that leader is uncomfortable initiating that conversation.

When leaders avoid challenging people because it makes the leader uncomfortable, that is a selfish choice on the part of the leader.  Why? That leader just placed their own comfort before the other person’s growth. When a leader does that, they are falling short of their calling.

Does challenging the other person always seem nice at the moment?  Probably not. But it is perhaps the most caring thing a leader can do for the person they are called to lead and develop.  Leaders, don’t shy away from these moments. These are the moments we put their growth before our own comfort.  That is one way Leaders of Character show they care for the people around them.

Questions:

Who needs you to challenge them to get better?What has prevented you from doing it already?

The post Leaders – Challenging People Means You Care About Them appeared first on Dave Anderson.

“I worked hard this year!  I deserve a bigger bonus!”  I heard this complaint almost annually in 15 years in various sales leadership positions.  Sometimes it was a valid complaint.  Most of the time it wasn’t.

“You receive a salary for effort.  You get a raise or a bonus for results.”

I like people who are competitive and driven to win.  In sales, I looked for those traits in everyone I hired.  Unfortunately, I found that drive to win often gave people an unrealistic perception of what they deserved.

Effort Only

Too many people collecting a salary believe that because they tried, they deserve a raise or a bonus.  The belief seems to be that showing up to work consistently and meeting standards (a.k.a.  minimums) warrants rewards.

Maybe this starts in childhood. I explored this in:  American Idol- Youth Sports and Self-Esteem.  I think receiving a trophy for just showing up as a kid has now affected our adult workforce.

Rewards are not a right.  Most employment contracts promise people salaries.  Salaries are for showing up and trying.  A raise or a bonus is reserved for the people who put the ball in the net.  In other words, raises and bonuses are about results.

It’s About Results

If we want a raise, we should earn it by making our company better.  Did we beat our quota?  Did we save the company money on a project?  Did we develop a process that has changed how we do business?

If we are just plodding along, day in and day out without moving our organization closer to it’s goals, our current salary is our reward for that level of mediocrity.  If the results meet but do not exceed the standards of performance set for us, we should be shocked to get a bonus.

If we expect something beyond our current salary, we need to exceed performance expectations. 

Paying people more and more for achieving the same thing they did last year is a recipe for mediocrity and eventual failure in any business.

Changing Attitudes

Many companies claim to be results oriented, but consistently give raises – beyond cost of living increases – to average performers.  Some deliver bonuses more out of fear of conflict with average performers than for actual results.  This fosters an attitude in an organization very similar to participation trophies for youth sports.

As individuals, we have certain rights guaranteed to us in the Constitution. Raises and bonuses were never written into that document by our Founding Fathers.

If our raise is not what we wished for, or our bonus is less than what we promised our spouse, we need to get busy figuring out what we are going to do this year to insure history does not repeat itself.

The Bottom Line:

“You receive a salary for effort.  You get a raise or a bonus for results.”

If we want more, we need to produce more.  That is our Duty.  The responsibility is on our shoulders.  We must earn our raise.  We must earn our bonus.  If we don’t, we should at least be grateful our company decided to pay our salary one more year and give us the opportunity to improve our results.

Question:

Have you ever heard anyone admit they didn’t deserve a raise or a bonus?

How’s Your Character? Want to find out?

Click Below:

www.MYCHARACTERTEST.com

It’s free and it’s private.

The post Getting a Raise or a Bonus is not a Right appeared first on Dave Anderson.

Twenty-five years ago, I thought I had it all figured out. I believed I understood leadership, and I understood marriage. Boy was I naive! I look back now and see how many leadership lessons marriage has taught me.

On my wedding day, October 10, 1993, my dad, General Jim Anderson shared with me his secret to a successful marriage.

The General:  “Buddy, before your mom and I got married we decided that I would make all the big decisions and she would make all the small decisions.”

Me:  “I really like the sound of that!” I said through a grin.

The General: “And in 30 years of marriage there hasn’t been a big decision yet.”

I have learned a lot about life, love, and leadership from being married to Elizabeth. Not all of the lessons were easy to learn. But, they have made me a better leader not just at home, but at work as well.

Leadership Lesson 1:  Someone Has To Make A Decision

The story my dad told was funny but accurate. Someone has to be ultimately responsible for making the decisions in a marriage. Some readers may get angry with this thought, but it has worked for us.

For years we spent hours upon hours debating decisions. What school should our kids attend, what house should we buy, where should we go on vacation…. But if we ever got to an impasse where we could not come to a decision together, we decided I would make the final decision.

The key to this strategy has always been that we both had ample opportunity to share our opinions. Both of us felt not just heard, but also understood. If at that juncture, we were still stuck, then I would decide.

In business, someone has to decide. Consensus on a leadership team would be nice, but it is often a dream. I have been involved in committees where the leader wanted consensus. On those committees nothing happened or what did happen was humorous. 

After all, a camel is horse put together by committee!

In the end, after the leader has heard the arguments and is sure he understands opinions of the key players, a decision must be made. The key is the other people being sure they were heard and understood. 

As Patrick Lencioni says,  “Most people do not need to get their way, they just need to know their way was heard and given consideration.” 

Leadership Lesson 2:  Listen Longer Than You Want To

I was not a good listener when I married Elizabeth. Most of our early arguments can be boiled down to my unwillingness to listen longer than I wanted to listen. 

At a certain point, I was ready to talk, solve her problems, or end the conversation.  Needless to say those were rough discussions.

I learned through the years to “Listen until it hurts.” as my friend and leadership expert Steve Wiley likes to say.  By disciplining myself to listen until it hurts, I have been able to avoid more misunderstandings, make my wife feel valued and find resolution to our conflicts much sooner.

As a leader I learned I could avoid misunderstandings by listening better as well. Therefore, I made my team feel valued and resolved conflicts more efficiently. My life as a leader got easier as a result. The same discipline I learned to employ at home made be a better leader at work.

Leadership Lesson 3:  It’s OK To Be Wrong

Pride is an ugly thing in a marriage. If either person (usually both people) are so prideful they are unwilling to entertain the other person’s ideas, then that relationship is bound for trouble.

We were in trouble because I was so sure of myself. Since I was so sure I was always right, it also meant that I was sure she was always wrong. That attitude diminished her as a person and kept her from trusting my judgment even more. After all, no one can be right all the time. She knew that!

The first time I said “I am wrong. You are right.” was not easy. It caught in my throat. But, when I finally began to entertain her ideas and act upon them, an amazing thing happened. Her trust in my judgment grew. Our arguments became less volatile, and we came up with better solutions.

As a leader, if I can lead my team to come up with better solutions because I accept the idea that I can be wrong, then why wouldn’t I?  The only answer is pride. 

A leader who believes his role is to always be right is not only arrogant, but delusional as well.

A leader who is open to the possibility that he is fallible will engender trust from his team.  Because he is open to their solutions, better solutions will be found and each individual will have buy in as well.

The Bottom Line:

If a marriage is the most significant relationship a person is going to enter into voluntarily, it makes sense that the lessons learned in that relationship would translate into the relationships leaders have at work.

It’s been 25 years since we made our commitment to each other in front of God, family and friends. Just like becoming a leader, a successful marriage is journey not a destination. 

After 25 years of marriage, I think we are just starting to get the hang of it!  I may be just hitting my stride as a leader as well!

Question:

What other marriage lessons can help us become better leaders?

How’s Your Character? Want to find out?

Click Below:

www.MYCHARACTERTEST.com

It’s free and it’s private.

The post Three Leadership Lessons From 25 Years of Marriage appeared first on Dave Anderson.

Leadership is fun – right up until you have to make those first tough decisions. Everyone goes through this transition from eager new leader ready to change the world, to the realization that the decisions involved in leading are a lot harder than they look from the outside.

The first tough decisions may involve choosing between two people to promote, firing a tenured employee, or shutting down a project that is no longer profitable. Every leader faces these moments. The question is, what kind of leader will we be when those tough decisions rest on our shoulders. A Leader of Character or something else?

Three Keys to Tough Decisions

Decisions – Decisions – Decisions. They are required of leaders. Some leaders have no problem making decisions. While other leaders waffle or put off making decisions. No matter the leader, and no matter the situation, most tough decisions have three things in common*:

The Leader Must Face Reality
Someone is Not Going to Like the Decision
The Leader Could Encounter Personal Loss

If we allow ourselves and others to rationalize and make excuses, an already hard decision becomes complicated as well. A leader must understand the truth about leading through tough decisions.

*adapted from Stand Your Ground by Evan Offstein

The Leader Must Face Reality

We may wish things were different. We may remember the way things used to be. We may even rationalize away making a decision at all, in hopes things will change on their own.  But, a leader can not operate on wishful thinking nor live in the past. A leader must live in the here and now.

What are my trusted advisors telling me?
What does the data tell me?
What does my experience tell me?
What is the best/worst thing that can happen if I make this decision now?
What is the best/worst thing that can happen if I do not make this decision now?

Reality is right in front of us. A Leader of Character should not ignore reality. They must make a decision based on the reality they face and lead with Courage.

Andersons’ 12 word (or less) Definition of Courage

Acting despite perceived or actual risk.

Someone Is Not Going to Like the Decision

Just accept this fact. None of a leader’s decisions will make everyone happy. Someone, somewhere will always have a problem with our decisions. A leader who tries to lead through concensus is probably not getting much accomplished.

As leaders, we have to be strong enough to make decisions even if they are unpopular decisions. After we have listened to advice and gathered the available information, a decision must be made.

That is why leaders must exercise the habit of Courage. It takes Courage to stand up and make a decision even though someone might not like that decision.

The Leader Could Encounter Personal Loss

Sometimes the tough decisions are tough because there are personal consequences. But a Leader of Character knows that our own personal comfort should not be involved in the decision making process. If it is the right thing to do, then we should do it – even at personal cost.

Andersons’ 12 words (or less) Definition of Integrity

Doing what is good, right and proper, even at personal cost.

The personal cost could be to our time. We could lose friends. We could lose money. We could lose popularity. But in the end, the Leader of Character still makes the tough decision because it is the right thing to do.

The Bottom Line:

We all have tough decisions in our lives. The outcomes of those decisions are often unclear and create uncertainty in ourselves and in the people we lead. But, we must face them and be the ones who exercise the Courage to decide.

Not deciding is rarely a good option. Most leaders who choose to not decide are just putting the decision off to another day or another leader. Meanwhile, the circumstances get worse and the consequences grow.  

Recognize:

The Leader Must Face Reality
Someone is Not Going to Like the Decision
The Leader Could Encounter Personal Loss

When a leader starts here and then moves forward, they are exercising the Courage and the Integrity we should all display to become the Leaders of Character others want to follow.

Question:

What decisions are the hardest for you to make – based on these three keys?

How’s Your Character? Want to find out?

Click Below:

www.MYCHARACTERTEST.com

It’s free and it’s private.

The post Three Keys to Making Tough Decisions appeared first on Dave Anderson.

The victim mentality is everywhere. In business, in non-profits, in schools, and in homes that mentality destroys any opportunity for team and individual success.

When a leader embraces the victim mentality, the best case scenario is the leader will be marginalized and ignored. The worst case scenario is the rest of the team become victims as well.

Identifying the Victim Mentality

It is not too hard to identify someone who lives as a victim. They use rationalization to explain away their own failures. They usually start rationalizing with phrases like:

How could I have known…
The media, the culture, the millennials…
That wasn’t in my department…
You don’t understand…
These quota’s are unreasonable…
The teacher doesn’t like me…
Am I supposed to be a baby-sitter…
That’s just how things are done…
That’s just who they are…

These rationalizations are actually excuses. They shift blame away from the leader on to something they claim is outside of their control. The victim mentality declares:

“There was nothing I could do. Therefore I have nothing to learn from this.”

But, perhaps the easiest way to identify a victim is to examine their results. The leader with a victim mentality is usually the same person who never raises themselves or their team above mediocrity.

Defeating the Victim Mentality

A Leader of Character never takes on the role of a victim. They believe there are no excuses for failure, just opportunities to learn and get better. They don’t look for ways to deflect blame. Instead, they look for lessons and for teaching opportunities.

Seizing accountability sets up the leader and the team to get better. Each time the leader takes ownership, they inspire the team to do the same thing. 

Therefore each time the leader defeats the victim mentality, they take another step closer to becoming a Leader of Character who leads a Team of Character.

The Bottom Line

Leaders of Character inspire followers to be accountable – not to be victims.

Leaders in businesses, non-profits, schools and homes are called to a higher level of accountability. To be a Leader of Character, we must recognize our moral obligation to defeat the victim mentality in ourselves and in the teams we lead.

Andersons’ 12 word (or less) Definition of Duty

Acting based on our assigned tasks and our moral obligations.

Leaders of Character see it as their Duty to lead through a difficult situation and not allow themselves or others to wallow in it. Victims may inspire sympathy, but they do not inspire followers.

It is our Duty – as leaders – to inspire followers. 

Question:

How have you seen a victim mentality of a leader infiltrate a team?

How’s Your Character? Want to find out?

Click Below:

www.MYCHARACTERTEST.com

It’s free and it’s private.

The post Leaders of Character Don’t Have a Victim Mentality appeared first on Dave Anderson.

Many leaders would rather eat a bug than admit to others they made a mistake or expose a weakness. Exposing your own failures is not a sign of weakness. Hiding your failures is!

Nobody believes we are perfect. In fact, when we own up to our own weaknesses, we are rarely telling them anything they don’t already know.  

It is counter-cultural among leaders to point out their own short-comings. We seem to feel if we expose a weakness, then they will think less of us. Or, they might not trust us because we have exposed our soft white underbelly to others.

The decision to not expose our past mistakes and current short-comings actually accomplishes exactly what we are trying to avoid.

When we hide our frailties from people who already know what they are, we lose our chance of gaining the respect, the trust and the allegiance of the people we are supposed to be leading.

When we admit our frailties to people who already know what those frailties are, what we gain is respect.  We gain trust. We gain allies. Exposing your weaknesses actually attracts followers.

Why Do Leaders Hide Their Failures

Why do we avoid exposing our failures to others?  There is only one real answer – PRIDE.

When you never admit to your failures or weaknesses, you absolve yourself of any responsibility for growing beyond the person you already are.

A leader who is not growing is a leader who is losing ground and will eventually lose the people he desires to have following him.

An interesting thing happens when you swallow your pride and begin to expose your weaknesses and failures to others – you begin to take ownership of them. You begin to grow and gain from others what you were afraid of losing – respect, trust, and allegiance.

The Bottom Line

Breaking the cycle of pride and developing the Habit of Character called Humility takes practice. Humility is like a muscle, you have to exercise it regularly or it will never gain strength.  On the other hand, if you exercise pride, it will become a dominant habit in your character.

What are some simple exercises a leader can do to develop Humility to the point it is stronger than our pride?

Here are a few for your consideration:

Humility Exercises

Report your failures to your supervisor, your employees, your spouse, or your children.  Don’t wait for them to discover them.
Tell your team you are not good at a particular aspect of your job, and ask someone to help you.
Apologize after losing your temper at work or at home.
If you screw up, admit it and share with others how you are going to fix it.
Laugh when you do something embarrassing instead of hiding it, running from it, or getting angry about it.

By exposing your weaknesses and failures to others, you strengthen our character. You strengthen your Humility.  You strengthen the bonds of respect, trust, and allegiance that both the leader and the led want and need desperately.

Question:

What else does exposing our failures and weaknesses do for us?

How’s Your Character? Want to find out?

Click Below:

www.MYCHARACTERTEST.com

It’s free and it’s private.

The post Exposing Your Weaknesses is a Sign of Strength appeared first on Dave Anderson.

Our actions create followers more than our words do. The actions of an introverted Leader of Character will lead a team to excellence before the eloquent words of hypocritical extrovert. 

Thank goodness politicians are not the only examples we have for leadership. Rarely do their words match their actions. They may be great speakers, but who cares! Our words mean nothing unless our actions follow those words.

The Leader of Character understands the old saying “More is caught than taught.” There are no days off from leading. We influence people around us even when we are not trying to do it.

As young parents you learn quickly that the children are always watching you. And despite whatever you may tell them to do, they are much more likely to imitate your actions than they are to follow your words. The exact same is true for leaders at work.

The words of a leader mean very little to my people if we do not model the behaviors we claim to be important. If we claim to our team that Integrity is a core value and then ask an assistant to tell someone we are in a meeting when we are not, that action will have more influence than any of our well thought out words.

Andersons’ 12 Word (or less) Definition of Duty

Taking action based on both our assigned tasks and moral obligations.

 It is our Duty to set the example for those we lead.

We must set the example in Courage, Humility, Integrity, Selflessness, Duty and Positivity for everyone we are responsible for leading. EVERY choice we make as leaders is a choice between influencing people in a positive or a negative way. There is no middle ground.

Actions Create Followers

If we want to be a Leader of Character, we truly believe it is our Duty wield positive influence on everyone we meet.

Leaders of Character believe:

If I say I am going to do something, I will do it.
If I say I will be somewhere at 10am, I will be there.
If I say I will complete a project by a particular date, I will complete it.
If I see something that needs to be done, I will do it.
If I can help someone get better, I will push them to grow.
If I tell my kids I will be at their school play, I will be there.
If I accept a paycheck from my employer, I will do my job to the best of my abilities
If I do not do the things listed above, I will own my failure, fix it, and do better next time.

Imagine what it would be like to be led by a person who’s habits matched the words above. Who wouldn’t want to be around a person with that sense of Duty? This is how our actions create followers.

The Bottom Line:

Doing our Duty and setting the example is a habit that is formed in the small tests just like the Habits of Character like Courage, Humility, Integrity, Selflessness and Positivity. They are all connected with each other and are all dependent on practice.

A Leader of Character is not selective about when she does her Duty. She does it because she has developed it into a Habit of Character through intentional and consistent exercising Duty muscles. She breaks a sweat in practice so she is ready for game day.

Question:

What other moral obligations do leaders have besides setting the example?

How’s Your Character? Want to find out?

Click Below:

www.MYCHARACTERTEST.com

It’s free and it’s private.

The post Our Actions Create Followers More Than Our Words appeared first on Dave Anderson.

You can be an unethical rule follower. All organizations have rules and regulations people must follow. But many organizations fail to consider that we can all be unethical rule followers. Just because we do not break the law or a corporate regulation does not make us a person of Integrity.

West Point teaches the Three Rules of Thumb that are meant to guide cadets and officers toward wise and honorable decisions. Because every decision we make in life will not be specifically covered by rules, regulations, or laws, these Three Rules of Thumb can help all of us as we evaluate our motives prior to taking action.

Does this action attempt to deceive anyone or allow anyone to be deceived?
Does this action allow the gain of privilege or advantage to which I or someone else would not otherwise be entitled?
Would I be satisfied with the outcome if I were on the receiving end of this action?

As we examine our decisions through the lens of the Three Rules of Thumb, it becomes clear that Integrity goes beyond just knowing the rules and following them. We need to consider if deception or gaining an undeserved advantage might be involved.

The Bottom Line:

Following the rules others set for us is easy.  Having Integrity is hard.  There are plenty of unethical rule followers in business, in politics, in athletics, and in academia.

We must examine ourselves and decide whether following the rules is good enough or will we hold ourselves to a higher standard than the people we complain about.

Honestly, the unethical rule followers that I hear people complain about in today’s political system are present in every walk of life.  Each of us need to be careful to not throw stones in glass houses.

The Three Rules of Thumb will test our commitment to being Leaders of Character who exercise Integrity.  Try using them for a week and see how much of a challenge true Integrity is.

Your character will grow and the people you lead will notice!

Question:

Which Rule of Thumb is the most challenging one?

How’s Your Character? Want to find out?

Click Below:

www.MYCHARACTERTEST.com

It’s free and it’s private.

The post Integrity and Unethical Rule Followers appeared first on Dave Anderson.

If you want an easy life, then ignore this post. Character is not that complicated a subject to discuss. But, character is hard to do.  That is why so few of today’s leaders do the hard work required to exercise character.

It is a leader’s Duty to do the right thing and exercise the other six Habits of Character – Courage, Humility, Integrity, Selflessness, and Positivity. Each time you choose to exercise any Habit of Character, it makes it easier to make that same choice again.

Together, Duty works well with the other habits. In essence, Duty is the fuel which powers the tough calls of character.

Character Is Hard

Exercising Duty will test your:

Courage, because Leaders or Character understand they have to make hard decisions.
Humility,  because Leaders of Character will have to ignore their egos.
Integrity, because Leaders of Character know they must do the right thing, even if they are standing alone.
Selflessness , because Leaders of Character put the needs of others before their own needs, desires or convenience.
Positivity , because Leaders of Character know that in the worst of circumstances, the leader must still inspire others.

The Bottom Line:

Each of these tests is a window into your character. If you wish to be a Leader of Character, it is your Duty to rise up and make choices that will strengthen your character instead of weaken it.  This is not easy. Exercising character is Hard. But…

“If doing the right thing were easy, everyone would be doing it.”

– The General

How’s Your Character? Want to find out?

www.MYCHARACTERTEST.com

It’s free and it’s private.

The post Character Isn’t Complicated But It Is Hard appeared first on Dave Anderson.

We are not going to candy coat this blog with euphemisms. Let’s just be honest with ourselves. A liar tells lies. A coward is too scared to do what is right. An egomaniac puts himself first.

When we use a euphemism to describe our behaviors, it is usually a tool to make us feel better about ourselves. We are not going to do that here. Let’s leave that to the politicians who say they “misremembered”.

Our character is a work in progress. We all have work to do. But, what should we be working on and where should we start?

What Does Character Look Like?

Integrity, Courage, and Selflessness.  These are great traits to pursue if we want to be a person of high character.

Some people may add other traits to the list. That’s fine. Even though we focus on six traits in our book Becoming a Leader of Character, we are going to focus briefly on our pursuit of Integrity, Courage and Selflessness.

So how are we doing with this pursuit? Do we talk a good game but justify our true behaviors with excuses and euphemisms?

The First Step Is Admitting We Have A Problem

I am a recovering liar, coward and egomaniac. We are not going to discuss an entire 12 Step Program. We are only going to focus on the first step of most 12 Step Programs.

First let Miriam Webster define the problem:

Webster defines lying as – marked by or containing falsehoods.
Webster defines cowardice as – a lack of courage.
Webster defines self-centeredness as – being concerned with only your own needs and interests.

Again, let’s eliminate the euphemisms that candy coat our character. Read the list below.  If we have used these words or done these things, we need to admit that we have a problem:

We are lying if we:

Tell White Lies: “I have a meeting then.”
Use Half-truths: “I told her most of the story.”
Tell a Fib: “I have to leave early to get the kids.”
Tend to Exaggerate: “I played a big role in our success.”

If my behavior is marked by or contains falsehoods, I am lying and I am a liar!

We am displaying cowardice if we:

Avoid confronting a co-worker about her inappropriate behavior.
Stay silent because we are afraid of our boss’s response.
Allow a subordinate to intimidate others on our team.
Don’t admit our own failures and never ask for forgiveness.

If my behaviors display a lack of courage, it is cowardice and I am a coward!

We are being self-centered if we:

Choose not to help someone because it is inconvenient at the moment.
Am concerned whether we will receive the credit we believe we are due.
Focus on our career advancement over what’s good for the team.
Speak over the top of others, cut them off, and/or dominate conversations.

If our behaviors display that we are only concerned with our own needs and interests, it is self-centeredness and we are an egomaniac!

www.MYCHARACTERTEST.com

Take the test! It’s FREE and PRIVATE!

How Do You Answer These Questions?

1.  If it is not the truth, then it must be a __________.

Answer: LIE

2.  If it is not courage, then it must be _____________.

Answer: COWARDICE

3.  If it is not selflessness, then it must be __________.

Answer: SELF-CENTEREDNESS

The Bottom Line:

Perfection is not attainable, but improvement is. When we candy coat our character, we will not improve. We cannot begin to grow until we admit that we have a problem.

The euphemisms and excuses we use to justify our behaviors prevent us from making the changes necessary to change our character for the better.

Our character is built upon our habits – our good habits and our bad habits. Most addicts will not stop their destructive behaviors until they come to the point where they admit to having a problem.

Once we admit we have a problem, it makes it easier to make the choice to change our behaviors. Every habit is formed one choice at a time. Each time we choose to start or stop doing something, it makes it easier to make that choice the next time.

Soon a new habit is formed. The question is, is it a positive habit or a negative one?

But, first we need to admit we have a problem.

Hi. My name is Dave Anderson.

I am a recovering liar, coward, and egomaniac.

Question:

If someone is not telling the truth, acting with courage or acting selflessly, what would you call it?

You can purchase Dave’s best seller Becoming a Leader of Character through Amazon here: bit.ly/LOCBook

Or get a personalized signed copy here:  Signed Copy

The post Don’t Candy Coat Your Character appeared first on Dave Anderson.