Kim Golden's Blog - Posts Tagged "day-11"
30 Days, 30 Stories: Story #11
Another excerpt from my unpublished novel, The Time Is Now, for 30 Days, 30 Stories.
Story #11: Confession:
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"Is he still in prison?"
"Yeah, man," Lamar said, sounding miffed by Chris's question. "I would've told you if he was out but you know he's on Death Row. He's never coming out."
"I know, I know, I'm sorry." Chris swore. "I just keep thinking what he would do..."
"People change, maybe he's changed."
"You think he actually thought about redemption while he's been in Graterford?"
"Maybe, I don't know...depends on who you ask."
"You talk to his mom?"
"Yeah, she still swears her son would've never hurt anyone."
"Is he up for parole soon?"
"He killed a cop so parole's out of the question. All he can do now is appeal his execution."
"You'd tell me though, wouldn't you?"
"Yeah, you know I would."
"I saw a guy who looked like him the other day...scared the shit out of me. For a second, we made eye contact but this guy...he didn't look at me like he recognized me or anything. He just flashed me a look that said 'who the fuck are you?'...You know what I mean?"
"You should talk to someone about this, man."
"I'm telling you."
"Yeah, but you should talk to a professional too. I can't tell you what you need to know to get this out of your head."
"I don't think it'll ever be gone."
"You ever tell Kyra what happened?"
"No."
"Maybe you should."
"Right, like I could call her after five years and do small talk with her and then say, 'By the way, you remember that night I was supposed to come get you and I never did? It's because your neighbor pulled a gun on me.'"
"Sooner or later, the truth will come out," Lamar sighed. "I don't get why you'd rather she thought of you as a jerk who broke who heart. If you told her what happened she wouldn't be so screwed up over you."
"I am a jerk though. That's the problem."
"No you're not. If you were a true jerk, you wouldn't have called the police after you heard what happened."
"I shouldn't have run away."
"You think anyone else would have done differently? At least you told the police what you knew."
Chris knew Lamar was right but that didn't stop the chill fear from creeping inside him. And it didn't stop the shame that he'd been too scared to testify in court or even tell Kyra what he'd found out. Instead, he'd cut a deal with the District Attorney--he could testify to the judge without being called to the witness stand. Since he'd only been 17 and was technically still a minor, all he had to do was tell them exactly what Monty said to him and drop his charges against Monty so that the murder charge would be the case that would take priority.
He'd done it thinking he was keeping them both safe. He'd done it because his parents pushed him to make a clean break. He'd done it because he loved Kyra too much and needed to clear his head. But in the end, he felt like it had cost more than it was worth. Was it his selfishness talking, or had he given up too easily?
Story #11: Confession:
---------------------------------
"Is he still in prison?"
"Yeah, man," Lamar said, sounding miffed by Chris's question. "I would've told you if he was out but you know he's on Death Row. He's never coming out."
"I know, I know, I'm sorry." Chris swore. "I just keep thinking what he would do..."
"People change, maybe he's changed."
"You think he actually thought about redemption while he's been in Graterford?"
"Maybe, I don't know...depends on who you ask."
"You talk to his mom?"
"Yeah, she still swears her son would've never hurt anyone."
"Is he up for parole soon?"
"He killed a cop so parole's out of the question. All he can do now is appeal his execution."
"You'd tell me though, wouldn't you?"
"Yeah, you know I would."
"I saw a guy who looked like him the other day...scared the shit out of me. For a second, we made eye contact but this guy...he didn't look at me like he recognized me or anything. He just flashed me a look that said 'who the fuck are you?'...You know what I mean?"
"You should talk to someone about this, man."
"I'm telling you."
"Yeah, but you should talk to a professional too. I can't tell you what you need to know to get this out of your head."
"I don't think it'll ever be gone."
"You ever tell Kyra what happened?"
"No."
"Maybe you should."
"Right, like I could call her after five years and do small talk with her and then say, 'By the way, you remember that night I was supposed to come get you and I never did? It's because your neighbor pulled a gun on me.'"
"Sooner or later, the truth will come out," Lamar sighed. "I don't get why you'd rather she thought of you as a jerk who broke who heart. If you told her what happened she wouldn't be so screwed up over you."
"I am a jerk though. That's the problem."
"No you're not. If you were a true jerk, you wouldn't have called the police after you heard what happened."
"I shouldn't have run away."
"You think anyone else would have done differently? At least you told the police what you knew."
Chris knew Lamar was right but that didn't stop the chill fear from creeping inside him. And it didn't stop the shame that he'd been too scared to testify in court or even tell Kyra what he'd found out. Instead, he'd cut a deal with the District Attorney--he could testify to the judge without being called to the witness stand. Since he'd only been 17 and was technically still a minor, all he had to do was tell them exactly what Monty said to him and drop his charges against Monty so that the murder charge would be the case that would take priority.
He'd done it thinking he was keeping them both safe. He'd done it because his parents pushed him to make a clean break. He'd done it because he loved Kyra too much and needed to clear his head. But in the end, he felt like it had cost more than it was worth. Was it his selfishness talking, or had he given up too easily?
