Jay Pathak's Blog

To this point in my life I’ve been successful because I work harder than nearly anyone else that I know. When something needed to get done, I would simply put my head down and get it done. I didn’t mind working 20 hours in a row if need be. It was common or me to work all the way through the night, or to even go a whole day without eating. Not because I was fasting… but because I simply needed to get something done… a paper, a sermon, a bunch of emails, a book that needed to be read.

The problem with this is… I wouldn’t prioritize. I’d simply react to whatever was in front of me. I’d procrastinate on major projects for school, church, or family. Usually I was driven by a mix of different desires: Winning, not letting someone down, or not wanting to look bad. It doesn’t take a genius to realize that those are bad motivations.

The results were less than dazzling… I was often stressed, sick, and depressed. I would swing between fits of activity and would eventually crash into discouragement and frustration. Just when I would make one group of people happy, another group seemed disappointed. My family would seem ok, but my boss was frustrated. My friends were wondering why I wasn’t getting back to them, but I was doing great at work. Eventually I would crash. Get sick for a few days… sometimes a full week. Every time I would wonder… is there something wrong with me? Why do I get depressed all the time? Why can’t I seem to make anyone happy? Why is it that people are always frustrated with me?  

I started reading a few books that helped me make sense of these things… starting with the inside and moving out. I know not everyone reads as a way of life… but books have always helped me make sense of what’s going on in the inside of my heart and mind. They help give words to my feelings… here’s some that helped… I’m sure there are better one’s out there… but here’s the one’s that helped me:

Codependant no more: Melody Beattie

This book helped me to start seeing how co-dependancy works within our hearts… why we get like that… and how to get free.

Stress and Adrenaline and Thrilled to Death: Archibald Hart

I heard his name and work mentioned in a few talks… I picked up his books and began to realize how I was damaging my body through the pace of my life. That some of what has happening inside of me was simply biological… not spiritual or emotional. That my body simply wasn’t designed to work as many hours as I was working it… and that I had an addiction to the drugs inside my body. I “needed” to feel stressed and I was afraid to let myself “come down”… I would be forced to deal with the competing agendas in my head and heart.

The Ragamuffin Gospel: Manning and Co-dependent on Jesus: a talk by Jimmy Siebert

I began to realize that what I needed was to know I was loved completely by God… not because of what I did but because of what Jesus has done for me. Manning does a brilliant job of offending the Pharisee in all of us… he challenges us to believe that grace is exactly what the Bible says it is… free.

I also heard a talk by the pastor of Antioch Church in Waco, TX on being co-dependent on Jesus. I’d never thought of such a concept… but with what I had been working through in co-dependency with relationships… it really struck a chord. I WISH I COULD FIND THIS TALK.

Getting Things Done (GTD): David Allen

I started to re-align my life from the outside… taking responsibility for my life. This meant I needed a system by which I could organize my schedule, bank account, and communications (phone, email, etc..). This book helped me to match what God was doing on the inside with how my life worked on the outside.

The Power of Full Engagement: Loher and Sanchez

As I read this book I began to think through how my schedule should reflect my priorities. How important REST is in my life (I think that’s in the Bible.) I wanted to schedule to reflect my priorities of my life with God (1st), my family (2nd), and calling (3rd).  There were different essentials that were necessary as well… my physical, emotional, spiritual, and relational health. I needed to learn how to balance these within my schedule and budget accordingly. This book combined with the tools I learned from GTD, helped me plan out my life better.

Taking it to the limit: A sermon series by Andy Stanley

Andy preached out all of the different things I was learning in this series… he talked about the need for margin in our lives. I borrowed a lot of his material and combined it with the other things I was learning to preach a series on Margins at our church. I have preached a similar series nearly every year since… I think it is one of the most important things I could ever preach in our modern culture.

A Summary of what I learned:

1.       Sabbath is essential

The Bible talks about Sabbath because it’s important. It is a time for us to remember that we are worth more than what we produce (Deut 5:15), and that he is God and we are not (Genesis 2:2).

2.       Plan ahead

As a family we plan at least 4 months at a time. We put into our schedule: Date nights, Daddy/Mommy dates with each girl individually, dentist appointments, doctor check-ups, bday celebrations, prayer days, house cleaning, house projects, working out, dinner with friends (at home), dinner with friends (out), Personal free-time for each spouse, and more…

Planning this allows for Danielle and I to decide our “thresholds” and make the space to do what we value, and make the space for the things we know we need to get done. Sometimes we have to shift things around… but we are at least choosing to value each other and try to meet each other’s needs and desires. It also allows us to make better budgets.

3.       Get in shape- and stay in shape.

Just working out a couple times a week can change your life. Not only will you probably live longer, you sleep better and have a better emotional outlook. You don’t have to train for a marathon… just sweat a little… it helps.

4.       Stop thinking you’re so important.

When we work like crazy… don’t make time to laugh… neglect our families… and don’t take care of ourselves… we are do all of that because we think we are more important than we really are. I realized this when I was really sick for about 2 weeks (because I was driving myself into the ground) and I came back into the flow of life… only the realize that everything was fine.  My job kept going, my friends all managed, my car still worked… etc… It was a major blow to my ego. I realized that I didn’t need to run as hard as I was… and the world would go on without me.

5.       If you do less… you get more.

This is the hardest for me to remember… if I actually focus… and do less work… I get more done. Not only to I get more done… I get it done with better quality. If I can be disciplined enough to get the right “margins” in place… the rest gets done. To borrow from Andy Stanley,

“Priority determines capacity.”

Anyone that has packed a car for a long road trip knows this… it’s also true for your life… PUT THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS IN FIRST… and watch how “the rest” fits in around it.

6.       Stop making excuses… just do it.

Nuff said.

CS Lewis said something like this:

“It is only the lazy person that is busy, because he leaves the hard work of deciding what is important to others.”

There is a lot of things knew I was… lazy was not one of them. But now looking back… I was one of the laziest people I’ve ever known. I was willing to run around with my head chopped off instead of taking a minute to organize my soul and my schedule accordingly.

I hope that helps you… these are things that have really helped me.

Theologians have contended for the necessity of grace since the reformation, but very few believers have a sense of how that grace connects to them on a day to day basis. We have a good theology of salvation as it connects to grace, but not a great praxis for how to experience and live in grace as a way of life. Evangelicals have given us some great thoughts about God’ s grace; Pentecostals have challenged us to experience His presence; Contemplatives have reminded us to seek God outside of the gathered assemblies of conferences and church services; and Foster has drawn from these varied sources to write a book that can help you order your life to live within the grace of God.

This book (and the ministry that Foster helps to represent: Renovare), offer insights from church history into the hearts and practices of some heroes of our faith.  

Some might find this book a bit too tactical, and it might well be read hand in hand with Willard’s: The Spirit of the Disciplines. Both are real treasures, but have a slightly different feel about them.

This is one of those books that can change your life. Not just in a moment, but this book can change the way that you live your day to day life.

Personally, I can’t imagine what my life with Jesus would be like without reading this book and being influenced by Foster’s way of thinking. I think back often on the insights offered in this book, and I pick this book up at least once a year to get a fresh look at how I can connect with God’s presence through different disciplines. This book helps me to mix it up and try some new (new to me, actually very old) things out.

As with any good writing… this book is only as good as your use of it. You actually have to DO the things recommended. If that’s a problem, you should try reading Getting Things Done… :)

In the past 10 years I have visited the UK more times than I can recall. It’s been at least once a year, and many years it’s been two times a year.

I was first invited by my good friend’s parents John and Elle Mumford to speak at the National Leaders Conference for the UK Vineyard. My experience there shaped me. I was amazed at how much my heart resonated with what God was doing there. How much I loved the Vineyard family, and how much I loved how that family felt surprisingly familiar here in the UK.

It has been well documented how “un-churched” the UK is as a whole. The US statistics for church attendance hover somewhere around 50% nationally, and are considerably larger in “the south” and considerably lower on the coasts and the urban centers. Regardless what the statistic actually is, it is clear that there is a large pool of “churched” people in the US. These are people that either wake up every Sunday morning thinking they should “go to church” or are from families that felt that way. In one sense, it is group of people that most churches are gathering people from. Most churches in the US are simply trying to make church relevant to those that already feel like they should go, but just don’t. It might not even be because they are angry, they just need someone to “do church” in a way that makes it worthwhile for them to do what their instincts tell them they should do. In places like the south… they are going to go somewhere (at least on Christmas and Easter) and building a large church is simply a matter of just doing church “better” than anyone else in your city. If it’s cooler, more fun, has the processes, and up to date… you have a large church.

None of this is true in the UK.

The “pool” of churched folks is simply too small to grow a church from. Those who were raised in church gave up on church a long time ago. And most that are in a young adult or newly married never went regularly to church or had family that did (maybe with the exception of a grandparent). If you want to have a church at all  in the UK… you better figure out how to engage those that don’t have any life with Jesus, or any interest in that kind of thing. You can’t assume that they want to go to church if it’s “cool enough”, or “relevant”. To put it more simply, most aren’t mad at God, church, or Christians, they simply don’t care about them. It would be like being mad at Zeus, an ancient temple, or Masons… why be mad at them? They aren’t even worth being mad at… the feeling that most have isn’t anger.. it’s indifference.

The reason this is so interesting to me is… this is where the US is heading. In the US we pride ourselves on having created products and media that the whole world consume and emulate… but in this instance, we are following the culture trends of those across the pond. Western Europe and the UK are becoming increasingly “secularized” and starting with the major US city centers, we are following in step.

My heart has always been to help those that are outside of church find a new life in Jesus. Having not been raised in church (and not really having any interest to), I understand how strange and awkward Christian-types can be. I can understand how irrelevant it can all appear, and why most that haven’t been raised in church, write off the faith that is found in Jesus. They haven’t had many positive encounters with “those types” and aren’t sure what possible difference it could make.

I’ve built my life around trying to communicate to those that are un-churched. Not just those that are “de-churched”… but un-churched. Along the way… many who are de-churched rediscover life with Jesus, and some who are still thoroughly churched find new ways to relate with Jesus and those learn how to relate better with those that don’t know Jesus… but my heart remains committed to those that have never known any kind of life with Jesus.

As I have tried to communicate my value for the unchurched in the US it is received with mixed responses. Some think that I am downplaying the role that a good heritage in Christ can play. Some just think that I’m going too far in my “deconstruction” of church life and the communication of our faith. Some just wonder why I don’t just do “good church” and gather those that want a certain type of church… just be a successful pastor. There are plenty of people that just want a good church… just do what they want… and POOF… a mega-church.

It was as I have travelled in the UK… I have found a different kind of hunger for what makes my heart beat. The pastors and believers I know in the UK don’t just theorize about what it would be like to reach to the un-churched… it is their life and death. If they don’t figure out how to connect with the un-churched… the church will die.

This kind of desperation makes for a certain form of creativity that we lack in most US circles. But if the sociologists are right… this exact kind of desperation will be upon us in the US within a generation or two.

My time there inspires me to build a different kind of community here in the US. A community that lives in a future reality now… the reality that there are people all around us that haven’t written off life with Jesus, but simply haven’t seen an expression of that life that compels them to take notice.  The need for this different kind of church will be ever increasing… and I want to embrace it.

Many who write and speak about these trends are fearful prophets warning of the imminent doom of our faith. I am not nearly as fearful. I am hopeful. As I see the vibrant expressions of our faith in the UK that I see a future for the church in the US. A future that is socially aware, presence driven, and incarnational at it’s core. A faith that isn’t nearly as argumentative, and is driven by a desire to make known the gospel of peace in word and deed.

This state of things has forced a new kind of collaboration.  A working together that is an answer to the prayer of Jesus found in John 17. I have seen this in the UK in the ways that networks choose to work together for the sake of the cities that they serve in. Movements like New Frontiers, the Vineyard, the New Wine Network, and the Anglican church as a whole are trying to learn from one another to grow into a full expression of the Body of Christ. At different events that I have attended, I have met people from all kinds of different streams seeking to learn from each other. Their key leaders don’t just attend each other’s events, but are invited to speak and bless one another.

 There is more that I have learned, but it would take too long to write about it. Overall, I’m grateful for the time I’ve spent there… and I pray that they have learned as much from me as I have learned from them.

I doubt it.

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Carl has been a personal friend for many years, and I’m really grateful for all the ways that I’ve grown to understand Jesus and his relationship to religion because of his time with me. He is a true friend, someone that I have laughed and cried with. That’s why it feels funny to recommend his book. I always feel this way when I recommend my friends to others. It feels like I’m compromised, and simply doing them a favor because I like them. But in this case, to not recommend this book would mean I’m just being stubborn. Carl’s book is simply beautiful.

In this book Carl tries to simultaneously free people from the pressure of needing to share their faith, while challenging them to simply speak of Jesus. The distinction is essential, and makes all the difference in WHAT you share, but more importantly HOW you share about WHO you love, and WHY you love Him. It is a simple plea to stop trying to represent a religion, and start talking about an amazing man that can change everything: Jesus.

There’s no doubt that some of what Carl shares is controversial to the classic “Evangelical Christian”… but I think that anyone that is paying attention would have to say that the classic evangelical methods of “evangelism” have caused some very strange aberrations of faith and practice. Without questioning any of the intention of classic evangelicals and their desire to evangelize, I think we can all say that some of the results have been less than favorable. Our culture at large is increasingly suspicious of religion, and yet increasingly open to spiritual experience. Furthermore, I think that many in our culture are open to studying and talking about Jesus of Nazareth, but are suspicious of Christianity and those that represent it.

That last paragraph is problematic for many, but I think it’s pretty accurate.

Maybe we need to just go back to basics:

Love God, Love people, period.

Or maybe:

“When I was with you, I resolved to know nothing except Jesus Christ and him crucified.”

Part of loving people is talking about what we love… and if that love is informed by the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus… it’s only natural to speak of that.

I’m learning more and more to simply speak of Jesus… not because I have to, but because there’s nothing more interesting to talk about.

I’m grateful that Carl wrote a book that reminds us that we should be speaking up… and who we should be speaking about.

Every week there are people that stand up and talk about something they think you need to know. Politicians settle in behind a podium and talk about issues, campaigns and the like. Pastors stand up on stages and preach sermons about what how people should live according to the Bible. Teachers stand up in classrooms and try to mold impressionable minds, motivating them to learn and assimilate information. Some are good some are bad, but I think they all tend to have one thing in common… they take too long.

It is rare for me to want someone to talk longer. Very rare.

This haunts me as a communicator. Every week I clip on a microphone and talk about different things that I deem important. Sometimes I seek to motivate, other times to inform, but every time I want to keep the audience engaged. I’m sure I’m more successful some times than others… but that’s my goal. Some of the best advice I’ve ever received about speaking was this: Leave them wanting more.

That’s why I am so impressed with TED talks. Nearly every time I listen to one, I want more. I end up searching around on Google until I can find some more info about the speaker, or what they were talking about. Nearly every time, I didn’t care ONE BIT about what they talked about when they started, and by the end… I want more.

If you are a communicator in any forum… it’s worth checking out what they are up to. If for no other reason… to grow as a communicator. Many of the talks on their site are less than 10 minutes… I can’t remember the last 10 minute sermon I heard. I can’t remember the last 10 minute political speech. I definitely can’t remember the last 10 minute class I attended.

They don’t use flashy props, or often don’t even use any video elements. More times than not, they don’t even have powerpoint. There’s a lot we can learn from these communicators, and most of it isn’t even about WHAT they are saying… but HOW they are saying it.

www.ted.com

I had the amazing opportunity to go on a trip to Haiti with some other pastors in the Denver area, and some Vineyard pastors from around the country. Ever since the earthquake there years ago, I’ve wanted to go to Haiti. I couldn’t erase the images from my mind of the utter destruction that I saw flashing across our television screen the week of the earth quake. The pictures of children, tent cities, the stories of how people were surviving overcoming, and wondering what I would do if I ever found myself in such a disaster.

Just a little research told me that this was one of the poorest nations in the world BEFORE the earth quake. My heart sank at every article I read, every picture I saw, and every new statistic that was released. People were dying… and it was happening in front of our eyes.

As a church we decided to give our entire weeks worth of offering to help serve the relief effort in Haiti. We aren’t a big church… and we certainly aren’t a wealthy church, but we had to do something. We gave 18k dollars to serve the relief effort, a lot more than a weekly offering. A few weeks later we sent a group of nurses to help out, they came back completely blown away by what they saw. It was utter tragedy, but the power of God moving through their midst. They told stories of people singing worship songs in the streets, right next to those that were dying and maimed from the devastation.

I wanted to go after that.

I planned a trip with some other pastors, but it was cancelled because of the instability of the city. People were getting kidnapped, and the flight we wanted to go on was cancelled. We trusted that those that were in charge of our trip knew better than we did, but I couldn’t help but feel like I chickened out.

It was a year later that this trip finally came together, and I was excited to go and see how things had changed since the earthquake.

Just the week before I left, we had taken a big offering on behalf of Convoy of Hope through an initiative called “One Day to Feed the World”. We asked everyone in the church to consider giving one day’s worth of income on this one day. We would give this money to Convoy of Hope and through this offering they can feed children through their feeding program, and respond to natural disasters as they happen. This was our fourth year doing so, and we had hoped to raise 20k dollars in this offering. Much to our surprise, we ended up raising just over 32k dollars! A huge surprise.

I was excited to see what all of that money we had raised was doing in Haiti. They advertised feeding 50k children a day in Haiti alone. I wasn’t prepared for what I was about to see.

We spent our first full day going to a few different orphanages and a few different schools. The orphanage we went to was run by a single woman who chose to take in children after the earthquake. She took in three at first, but then kept taking them in because she couldn’t stand to see so many children wandering the streets after the earthquake. Convoy had found her, and came along side of her to help provide the food she needed to feed the children. They had also organized some medical teams to come through and take care of their medical check-ups and help them process any long-term needs.

The kids were beautiful.

We picked them up, tickled them, fist bumped and learned each others names. I’m sure we seemed strange to them, because we didn’t know their language, and it was obvious we didn’t belong there. They all sang us some songs, and we had a chance to pray for the woman running the orphanage, and we were on our way.

Everywhere I travel, I’m amazed at how many amazing people there are in the world. People that choose to selflessly serve others. They had their own dreams, hopes, and desires… but chose to respond to a need that was in front of them. Not knowing how they would meet that need, but chose to respond anyway. There are THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS of people like this… people that will never be in a book or a magazine… people that are so far off the beaten path that no one would ever know what they are doing. Except there are some that know. The ones who’s lives are forever changed because of their faithful service. Those that are alive because of them. Those that are the hope of a new generation.

The schools were also inspiring… kids being kids. Taking the opportunity provided by some strange visitors to ignore their teachers, and act up. Just like in the US… J

The one school we visited was only 150 kids before Convoy started helping and now is just short of 900. This is because of the feeding program… the parents now make their kids go to school. They make them go, because they know they can eat there.

As we drove by tent city after tent city, I was grateful for Convoy.

They have intervened and chosen to stay. Intentionally serving those that are the most neglected, the most desperate, the last in line, the first to suffer: the children. Believing that if they just fill their tummies, and their minds… these kids could grow up and change a nation. Give them a hope that they haven’t ever had before.

It’s a long term plan… but I think it reflects the heart of God.

He loves kids.

I came home grateful for Convoy, not just because they are there to stay… but because they are choosing to be the “inn keeper” for those of us that don’t know how to help and don’t feel called to “go”.

In Luke 10 Jesus tells the story of the Good Samaritan and tells us a story of a man that could have remained an enemy, but chose to serve a man in need. He picks him up and takes him to an inn, where Luke records:

35 The next day he took out two denarii[e] and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’

He chose to engage, but ultimately entrusted his long term care to another man. A man that was skilled in how to do the day to day things that he needed. He knew he could pay, so he did. He paid someone that could do a BETTER JOB than him.

I’m not convinced that God asks all of us to do the day to day work of caring for every need that the world around us has. I am convinced that God does ask us to engage, and PAY those that are asked to engage the issues of the world.

The most heart breaking moment for me in the trip is when I was speaking with the director of Convoy that was down there, and he told me that they could easily feed 100k kids a day with the networks that they have developed. They have the supply line developed, they have the schools and orphanages picked out, they have the system built top to bottom to do it. They only need the funds to be able to do it.

They just need the money.

I’m amazed at how many good inn-keepers are out there. Sure, there are corrupt ones. Just like there are corrupt pastors, and corrupt business men, and corrupt __________ (fill in the blank people group).

I’m praying that we as Americans stop simply feeling guilty, and instead do our due diligence by seeking out those good inn keepers. Ask the hard questions, do the on the ground research, and keep finding ways to just pay the bill.

Links:

www.Onedaytofeedtheworld.com

www.convoyofhope.com

I have finally caved in… I have joined the blog world.

I’ve had friends ask me to blog for years, but I’ve resisted because for some reason it’s felt self-indulgent and odd. Should I add my random thoughts to the already crowded world of ideas? Does anyone care? Should they care? What makes me think that I have anything new to add?

So… with all of that in my head… I’m charging forward… but a few disclaimers:

I change my mind all the time

I have no original ideas

I think out loud

I have no problem with contradicting myself

I am better at asking questions than answering them

I don’t think like a pastor, even when I should.

There is probably more than that… but that’s all I can come up with for now…

If you have ideas on what I should write on… let me know… I’ll let you know about books I love, trips I’ve been on, and things I’m learning… I hope and pray that you are challenged and encouraged.