Christopher Earle's Blog: Foundations of Healing - Posts Tagged "self-esteem"

Sticks and Stones – Excerpt from Healing with SALVE Seminar Series

Most of us have heard the phrase “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me”. Well the truth is words can hurt. The secret is to understand that how much those words hurt is our choice. When a person says something mean or cruel it is up to us to decide whether or not those words hold any truth or value in our lives. We must also decide whether or not to allow those words to penetrate our sense of self esteem. When we are insecure or fearful of our own value we can be influenced and hurt by the opinions and words of others, but if we decide to take a stand and believe in ourselves and our value as an individual, there is not another person in the world that can think or say anything about us that can hurt us. The truth of any statement made about us, or that we may make about someone else, is subjective to a certain extent. In other words, if someone calls you fat and you are not fat then ignore the statement. On the other hand if someone calls you fat and you are sensitive to that, chances are you have become overweight and at that point you have a choice to make. You can choose to be insulted and hurt and blame the other person for being mean, give them power over you, and get depressed about it, or you can take personal responsiblity for the fact that you have gotten overweight and take action.
You can choose to take a comment that was mean spirited and intended to hurt and bully you, get depressed and in all likelihood eat more as a result of your depression, or you can decide to take control of your life, use the comment as motivation to make a positive change. The choice of how you choose to perceive any comment made about you is always yours. You can make it a positive experience or a negative one, but choose wisely… The habits you form now will have an impact on how you react to things for the rest of your lives. Learn to make positive choices and refuse to be a victim. You will create a future wherein you will be in control, not the bully.
Reach out to your parents and friends, let them know you are feeling motivated to make a positive change in your life and allow them the opportunity to help and support your decision and your journey to become the person you want to be.