Gary Chapman's Blog

Week of April 22, 2019

We could all use a little creativity when it comes to speaking love and appreciation to others. Here are some suggestions that will help get you started:

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION:

Before you sit down to eat, place a label or sign on each chair describing who is to sit there—“Best husband/wife in the world,” “My favorite person,” “My little princess.” Watch their faces light up and their love tanks fill.

ACTS OF SERVICE:

If someone you know is extremely busy or entrenched in a project, order them a pizza delivery. Pay for the pizza ahead of time (tip included), and see if they will include a little note as well. If not, you can always text and let them know something special is on the way.

GIFTS:

Subscriptions can be a nice gift once you are aware of someone’s interest. Whether for a magazine, media platform, online course, or other, surprise your loved one or coworker with a free month or year to something they will enjoy.

QUALITY TIME:

Shopping can sometimes be a chore, but you can also make it fun by intentionally creating the space for quality time in the midst of it all. Plan a quick date at a favorite coffee shop in between stores, or swing by that lunch place you both enjoy—whatever you decide, make sure to take the time to really enjoy and be present with the person you are with.

PHYSICAL TOUCH:

When there is a distance between you and the person you love, what can you do? Try sending something tactile that reminds your special someone of you. It could be a warm sweater spritzed with your favorite scent or a stuffed animal that can snuggle with them in your stead. There are meaningful ways to “touch” at a distance, but creativity is key.

If you would like to suggest a creative way in which you speak a particular love language, we’d love to hear from you. Click here to send us your suggestions.

Please note, there are many relationships in which you can speak the five love languages. If one of the above suggestions is not relevant to your particular relationship status (i.e. married, single, parent, etc.), stick with us and know that eventually, we will get around to a suggestion that is applicable to you.

The post Practically Speaking: Week of April 22 appeared first on The 5 Love Languages®.

Week of April 15, 2019

We could all use a little creativity when it comes to speaking love and appreciation to others. Here are some suggestions that will help get you started:

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION

If your friend enjoys making art (songwriting, painting, creative writing, etc.), take time to sincerely compliment his or her workmanship. Find something specific about the art that you like, and explain to them why you do.

ACTS OF SERVICE

While your spouse is working, take the extra car key (swap parking spot with your car), and drive his or her car to a car wash and gas station. Return the car to where it was, and leave a note on the car seat expressing your love.

GIFTS

If a new season of a beloved TV show is premiering, offer to gift it for your special someone on their iTunes or other media library.

QUALITY TIME

If your boyfriend or girlfriend’s dialect of Quality Time is a quality conversation, don’t bog down a date with too many things to do. Leave time unscheduled for the two of you to be still together and talk about life.

PHYSICAL TOUCH

If your children like to, let them cuddle with you as you watch TV shows, movies, or when reading a book. This will be sure to fill their little love tanks and create wonderful memories.

If you would like to suggest a creative way in which you speak a particular love language, we’d love to hear from you. Click here to send us your suggestions.

Please note, there are many relationships in which you can speak the five love languages. If one of the above suggestions is not relevant to your particular relationship status (i.e. married, single, parent, etc.), stick with us and know that eventually, we will get around to a suggestion that is applicable to you.

The post Practically Speaking: Week of April 15 appeared first on The 5 Love Languages®.

Week of April 8, 2019

We could all use a little creativity when it comes to speaking love and appreciation to others. Here are some suggestions that will help get you started:

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION

Next time you overhear someone saying something nice about a friend, relative, spouse, or coworker, pass it along. Send a text or let them know in person the good things that are being said about them without them knowing. The world is full of negative talkers, so it’s always refreshing when we can amplify appreciation.

ACTS OF SERVICE

Acts of service are not just kind and thoughtful deeds done for someone, but often they are things we can do with someone. A good example may be to offer to help out with dishes—“I’ll wash, you dry?” Effective acts of service start with making someone’s life a little bit easier.

GIFTS

Gifts don’t have to be expensive to be thoughtful. Some of the most thoughtful gifts are the ones that connect in some way with a person’s interests and or identity. If someone really likes avocados, try these. If someone loves to watch Shark Week, this could be thoughtful. For more fun and economical gift ideas, click here.

QUALITY TIME

Over the next meal together, take turns completing the following sentence: “Something you may not know about me is . . .” This can be a fun, revealing, and interesting way to spend some quality time focused on the person you are with.

PHYSICAL TOUCH

If you have a gym membership, a workout together with your spouse can be a fun way to get a little physical. Spot each other on the weights, help each other stretch, and don’t forget to check those abs and arms often for muscle growth.

Week of April 1, 2019

We could all use a little creativity when it comes to speaking love and appreciation to others. Here are some suggestions that will help get you started:

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION

Does someone you care about need some encouragement? If so, consider secretly reaching out to as many of their friends, family members, and coworkers as possible. Let them know you are compiling encouraging words for that person and invite them to submit theirs on a Google form you set up ahead of time. Make sure to set a deadline. Print them individually, and strategically leave them in obvious, easy-to-find places (e.g. car, pillow, fridge, desk). They are sure to delight. Thanks to Matt for the idea.

ACTS OF SERVICE

Did you know you can bring joy to an Acts of Service person even in small, possibly mundane gestures? Serve an afternoon snack, schedule the coffee machine to brew at just the right time, heat up their towel while they are in the shower (who doesn’t love a toasty towel?!). Small acts of service can go a long way. Thanks, Emily, for your suggestion.

GIFTS

Next time you are in line at your local coffee shop, order a $5 gift card and pass it along to the person behind you as you leave. Let them know that you just wanted to pass along some good will. It is surprising how in the act of blessing someone else, we often experience joy ourselves.

QUALITY TIME

If you are up for a challenge, consider taking a friend or loved one to an escape room. You’ll spend an hour or more working together to find clues toward discovering a way out of one or more rooms. It’s like a real-life puzzle for the mind. We’re not going to say it will be easy, but you’re sure to have some time together—maybe even some fun in the process. Thanks to Caroline for this idea!

PHYSICAL TOUCH

You may be surprised to learn how much a gentle pat on the upper back may mean to someone whose primary love or appreciation language is Physical Touch. When combined with encouraging words, a pat on the back is often interpreted as supportive and caring.

If you would like to suggest a creative way in which you speak a particular love language, we’d love to hear from you. Click here to send us your suggestions.

Please note, there are many relationships in which you can speak the five love languages. If one of the above suggestions is not relevant to your particular relationship status (e.g. married, single, parent, etc.), stick with us and know that eventually we will get around to a suggestion that is applicable to you.

The post Practically Speaking: Week of April 1, 2019 appeared first on The 5 Love Languages®.

The 5 Love Languages changed my life. It changed my marriage.

There’s such simplicity in its message, but I feel like it’s so powerful.

The post Kelly Hurliman, Wardrobe stylist to Oprah Winfrey appeared first on The 5 Love Languages®.

Tap Profile in the dock and then tap Settings. Tap your Partner’s Name. Then, tap DISCONNECT.

The post DISCONNECT WITH YOUR PARTNER appeared first on The 5 Love Languages®.

Though you can use with app without connecting with a partner, your app and relationship experience will be enhanced when you set up an in-app connection.

PREREQUISITES – Before you connect with your partner, make certain that each of you has completed the following:

Install the Love Nudge App
Create a profile and take the Love Language Quiz

SHARE A CONNECTION CODE – One of you must generate a connection code and share it with the other.   Generate and share connection codes via one of the following paths:

>   Profile Settings Path: Tap Profile in the dock and then tap Settings . Tap your Partner’s Name. Then, tap the “CONNECT” link; answer “NO” to the question: “Have you received an invitation code from your partner?  On the Invite [Partner] to Connect screen, share your connection code using your device’s share tools OR, if your partner is nearby, simply show them the code.

>   Partner Screen Path: Tap your partner’s photo in the upper left corner; then tap the  “INVITE YOUR PARTNER” link. Finally, tap the “CONNECT” link; answer “NO” to the question: “Have you received an invitation code from your partner?  On the Invite [Partner] to Connect screen, share your connection code using your device’s share tools OR, if your partner is nearby, simply show them the code.

ENTER A CONNECTION CODE YOU’VE RECEIVED – Once you’ve received a connection code from your partner, tap Profile in the dock and then tap Settings. Tap your Partner’s Name. Then, tap the “CONNECT” link; answer “YES” to the question: “Have you received an invitation code from your partner?  Enter the connection code on the following screen and tap CONNECT.

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When you set up your profile for the first time, you’ll be prompted to take the Love Language Profile Quiz with the screen that asks, “What makes you feel loved?” Tap “Take the Quiz” and answer 30 paired statements. For each pairing, select the statement that best defines what is most meaningful to you in your relationship as a couple. Both statements may or may not sound like they fit your situation, but please choose the statement that captures the essence of would be most meaningful to you, the majority of the time. Allow 10 to 15 minutes to complete the profile. Take it when you are relaxed, and try not to rush through it.  

You’ll see your results immediately after you complete the quiz. Learn more about each Love Language by tapping on the Love Language icons with your quiz results.

You make retake the quiz as many times as you like.

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You are separated, but you really don’t want a divorce. You want to follow the Biblical ideal of seeking reconciliation. How do you go about it. First, you must not allow your emotions to control you. I didn’t say that you should not have emotions. Hurt, anger, disappointment, and pain are often the emotions of separation. Or, you may feel relieved, free, happy they are gone. Whatever your emotions, you must not allow them to control your behavior. If you do, you may murder your spouse. The Christian is called upon to seek reconciliation. This means we must take constructive action. Such action may mean that I must go against my feelings. Prayer is the best place to begin. “Lord, you know my feelings, but I want to be controlled by your spirit, not my feelings. Show me what action I should take and give me the power to do it.” Such a prayer is the first step in the right direction.

The post I’m Separated. Now What? appeared first on The 5 Love Languages®.

You may not have positive feelings toward your spouse, but you are choosing to give them unconditional love every week by doing something for them that you know they want you to do. There is a good chance that within six months, you will hear your spouse say “This is great. I can’t believe the way you are treating me. I think I’ve died and gone to heaven. It feels so good.”

Whenever you get this kind of feedback, you know that they are experiencing your unconditional love. You are now in a position to make a request of them. Something you would like them to do for you. Make it small at first. No major requests. If they do it, you will feel a warm emotion inside. If not, you will feel disappointed. Don’t let this keep you from loving them. Never make more than one request per week. When they start responding to your requests your warm emotions build. You are experiencing the emotional warmth of feeling loved.

Unconditional love has led to a rebirth of emotional love. Unconditional love is God’s way of rebuilding a marriage.

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