Heather Demetrios's Blog
January 30, 2020
I’ve Moved!
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If you’ve stumbled upon this old blog of mine…I’ve moved!
Please go to my website heatherdemetrios.com to find all the things.
My new blog, The Mindful Writer, is on Medium and you can find it here. I’ll soon be uploading new posts onto my website, as well, but for now I’m at Medium.
My newsletter, The Lotus & Pen, is the best place to find me.If you subscribe, you get the monthly Rough Draft, a workbook chock full of writing exercises and process work. You’ll also receive the Get Clear workbook for major alignment on your writing goals, plus access to my Inspiration Portal, with loads of meditations and other resources for your downloading pleasure.
To find out about my coaching services, you can go here.
To listen to my meditations for writers and the Mindfulness For Writers podcast, you can jump over here.
Happy writing!
September 4, 2019
Where You’ll Find Me Every Day
The first is Page Count, where I and other writers dish on publishing, author marketing, livelihood issues, and more. This, I hope, will be a go-to place to get info on anything from the publishing process of a book to viable side hustles to keep your head afloat. We’re taking the red pen to the idea that money and art have nothing to do with each other. Expect candid, informative posts from professional writers and publishing insiders, as well as financial experts.
Read us below:
My other publication is Five Dollar MFA. That’s where you’ll find LOADS of craft posts, mindful process musings, and writing prompts and tips. It’s an MFA for the cost of a monthly Medium subscription.
Find me below:
A Note On Medium
Medium makes it possible for writers to actually be paid for their work (what a concept!). This means you only get 3 free reads a month before you have to bust out your wallet. This is equitable, a fair exchange between reader and writer. It was important to me to join a platform like this, and to edit publications where my writers have a shot at earning.
Writing is a job–and a service–like anything else. You pay for your coffee at Starbucks, right? Same thing.
This is why, if you believe in writers being paid for their work and expertise, and you are “consuming” their content, it’s important to chip in.
There’s a lot of pressure out there with so-called inbound marketing techniques for writers to constantly give away free content. But the return on the enormous time investment isn’t always so great. Don’t believe me? When is the last time you donated to a writer whose blog you read, clicking on their donate buttons, or going out and buying their books? Loads of writers read my posts on craft and process and they listen to my guided meditations for writers. They download my worksheets and watch my videos. Very, VERY few have ever clicked on the donate button. This is not good for our culture. It’s important that we honor our teachers, that we recognize that the work they put out is born of years of hard work and financial investment on their part. Also, exchanges of generosity feel good for both parties.
It’s important that we check ourselves when we make use of a teacher’s offerings and don’t click their donate buttons or otherwise find ways to give some kind of payment for their knowledge that we use.
I’ve had people say things like, “knowledge should be free” or “well, you put it up there” or “I can’t afford it.” All of these excuses frustrate me. The first is pure entitlement. The teachers worth their salt didn’t get their education and professional experience for free, yet you feel entitled to it. The second doesn’t acknowledge the donate buttons or the full spirit in which something is offered: most writers are offering knowledge for free in the hopes that you will one day return the favor in kind by buying their books, taking their courses, donating via things like KoFi, or engaging their coaching or editorial services.
Yes, part of it is building a platform and brand: a good platform can lead to speaking engagements and other interesting side hustle offers. This is true. But that isn’t your concern and shouldn’t be used as a reason to justify not throwing a bit in the tip jar. What you should be concerned with is if you are using someone’s materials a lot and they HAVE something like a donate or pay button (or their work is on Medium), you chip in.
The third is hogwash: think of all the things you buy.
Why should the life-changing knowledge and coaching and advice you receive from seasoned professionals be worth less than a cup of coffee, an ice cream cone, the many things in your Target cart you don’t need?
And if me saying any of this is making you feel some things, I hope you investigate that instead of writing me off. If this upsets you, any of it: why?
An annual Medium membership is $50 or it’s $5/month. We want all of us readers and writers to put our money where our mouth is, and to support platforms that support its writers and produce quality pieces. I hope you’ll consider joining us on this journey–and, if you’re a writer with experience, we’d love to have you submit to Page Count.
Here are a few writers / artists that I support on an ongoing basis, but this by no means includes all the people I’ve paid for coaching or whose books I’ve bought or classes I’ve taken:
Amanda Palmer: Being one of her patrons on Patreon is a gift. I give her $3/month and also purchase her books and records. She lets us into her creative process in an incredible way, and makes us part of it. I’ve learned so much from her and am inspired daily.
Susannah Conway: I started out by hearing her interview on the Biddy Tarot podcast, then I began reading her monthly love letters. After I received her amazing end-of-the-year reflection PDF, which she gives for free, I supported her by paying for one of her online courses (which was awesome!) and plan to take more. They are fantastic!
Maria Popova: Her Sunday Brain Pickings newsletter is a gem. When I read it regularly, I chipped in $3/month to support her work, which takes hours and hours of extensive research. As Maria says: Donating = Love.
Carrie Mallon: I adore her tarot work and found her first with her free online interpretations of The Wild Unknown tarot. She gives so much to the community with free readings and resources. So, I paid for the download of her Wild Unknown interpretations as well as sponsored her Kickstarter for her own deck, The Spacious Tarot. I’ve also done two personal readings with her, which I, of course, paid for.
Who are some of your favorite artists and writers that you support? I’d love to have them on my radar.
And, of course, if the work I put out is useful to you, I’d love to have you as part of my merry band of writers!
Find all my work on Medium below:
And, I wouldn’t be putting my money where my mouth is if I didn’t add this to the post, now would I?
I’m excited to help you on your writing journey! Thank you for reading and being part of mine. (Insert heart emojis, prayer hand emojis, and…glitter. Lots of glitter).
August 8, 2019
Won’t You Be My Neighbor?
You may have noticed that I’m not blogging as much as before – that’s because I’m really digging sending late-night missives that are raw and real and leave it all on the page. I send them to those who’ve subscribed to my special Midnight Missive list. Honestly, I haven’t been really public about it because I’ve been a bit scared to open myself up to so many people, but I think they’re doing me, and many of my readers, some good.
So I’m going to be brave and share more widely.
There is absolutely no marketing in these missives–no announcements or hyperlinks or hype of any kind. It’s just me and the page late at night, getting into it.
I don’t send them out too often, but when I do, it’s some of the writing I’m proudest of. I’m always terrified to hit send because I always say something I’m scared to. I’m always worried about hurting someone. It’s honestly fucking terrifying. But it’s good for the art, man, it really is. And the soul. Mine, anyway.
I wanted to have a way to connect authentically with my fellow writers, to bring them into the process of artmaking. The highs and lows. The fear and regrets. The anger and joy and confusion and helplessness. All of it.
Because it is so bare, leaves me so exposed, I only want to know that the people receiving it on the other end have opted in. That they’re with me, not just randomly scrolling on the Internet.
When I send a missive, it’s at exactly midnight in whatever time zone I’m in, usually Eastern Standard. There’s a little crescent moon in the subject and the number of the missive.
This last one I wrote a while back, was incredibly powerful for me – it helped me understand why I can’t leave YA lit.
Here’s a short excerpt, but if you would like to read these, you’ll need to subscribe (again, no marketing – this is not my regular newsletter email list). Once you subscribe, you’ll have access to the newsletter archive to read this and other missives in full. I just want to know that the people reading these on the other end are in the trenches with me. These are not for your entertainment. They’re my guts, exposed.
Midnight Missive #9:
Won’t You Be My Neighbor?
July 22, 2019
12:00 am (EST) :: Dandywood :: Durham, NC
I have a confession to make: before last night, I was pretty sure I was leaving the young adult genre. For good. Forever.
I was hoping the exit would be a killer one, without a backward glance, but I’m not that cool. I knew I wouldn’t be able to resist looking back. The Lot’s Wife of YA. I hadn’t told anyone this, not my agent or editors or friends. There were a couple close friends I hinted at it to, but I didn’t want to be one of those people that thought they were making a dramatic announcement the world should care about: I’m retiring. I’m leaving the industry. Etc. And then no one even bothers to look up from the sandwich they’re eating. Further confirming the choice, of course.
I didn’t have an exact end date, since I have YA books still under contract, but LITTLE UNIVERSES was meant as my swan song, particularly with contemporary. After that, it would be adult all the way—historical fiction, likely. Maybe something with magic in it.
I wasn’t sure I totally believed myself about hanging up my teen author jersey—I was still making noise to my husband about a few projects, but I wanted to believe myself. In fact, nearly all of those projects I thought of doing were under pseudonyms and highly commercial. Food-on-the-table books. Write what you know. Write what’s easy. (Still planning those, by the way. I’m a big believer in the Graham Greene approach to not being a starving artist, though I doubt I’ll be lucky enough to be in Her Majesty’s service on the side).
I was in Morocco this past spring, dealing with a spotty WhatsApp connection and already thinking I needed to leave YA, a mental tick I’ve been indulging in for years, when my agent told me maybe I should leave YA. Not because I wasn’t good. Not because she didn’t love my books or believe in them. But because people didn’t GET me. And those people, they weren’t my readers. I have the emails and tweets and bookstagrams to prove it. The late-night confessional missives from girls who read Bad Romance and left their boyfriends. Some of them in other languages. The notes from male veterans or their family members who thanked me for portraying their PTSD so accurately in Josh from I’ll Meet You There. And so on. The people who didn’t get me were the adult powers-that-be, the publishers who, my agent suspected, wanted me to dumb down my books. (Not necessarily my editors, mind you. It’s the money people who control things in Book Town.).
“Your books are so complex,” she said. “So many layers to the characters. They just want something simple, I think. I don’t get it. I love your books. But I don’t know how to position you.”
My response was to give my editor, the one who has always “gotten” me from Day One, a novel that attempts to articulate what it means to be human in the universe. Including astrophysics used as metaphor. I just couldn’t help myself. It’s so long she said we have to charge more because of the paper. But, she said, she couldn’t bear to cut any of it.
There are so many ways to say fuck it.
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To read the rest, you can subscribe by clicking below. I’ll try to post on here when I have a new missive, as well, just so you all know I’m still alive and kicking:
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August 5, 2019
Mindfulness Mondays!
There’s a new video series in town! These are five-minute quick dives into being a mindful writer. We’ll jam on everything from how to bring mindfulness into your writing life to starting or maintaining a meditation practice to applying mindful techniques on the page.
Join me on my IGTV channel every Monday for some sweetness.
This Monday, we learned about the sacred pause, aka Mindfulness Moment. You’re invited to my meditation space, where I share a little bit about this powerful practice with you:
Subscribe to my newsletter for writers and readers, The Lotus & Pen, to get a download of the short story that inspired Bad Romance, A Revision Guide, and access to my Inspiration Portal: a world of resources and downloads to help you make word magic.
August 2, 2019
3 Things: Playing Desire
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This 3 Things is EVERYTHING. If there’s only one video you watch, let it be this!!!
It’s all about how to use Method Writing – my craft system based on actor training – to get to the heart of character desire.
Trust me, writers, you want this.
Watch the video on my IGTV channel below:
The 3 Things We Get Into:
1. Figure out your character’s super objective – OG desire for the story.
2. Identify the objective for EACH SCENE.
3. Play the objective.
Subscribe to my newsletter for writers and readers, The Lotus & Pen, to get a download of the short story that inspired Bad Romance, A Revision Guide, and access to my Inspiration Portal: a world of resources and downloads to help you make word magic.
July 26, 2019
3 Things: Writing Exercises
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The 3 Things Series is back! I finally have a little filming corner – yay!
You can find all the 3 Things videos on my IGTV channel.
These videos are all about craft and writing and process and story. Quick and easy, and there are often fun downloads too.
Here’s 3 Things: Writing Exercises To Get You Jazzed
Click below to check out the video:
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Get the worksheet download here
The 3 Things We Get Into:
1. Story Jinni: An exercise for when you’re uninspired or itching to dream up a new story
2. What Does Your Character Take For Granted?: An exercise for when you’re feeling stuck
3: Your Inner Poet: An exercise for when you want to work on craft or get deeper into the emotional heart of your story
Watch the video and get the worksheet (links above!)!
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Subscribe to my newsletter for writers and readers, The Lotus & Pen, to get a download of the short story that inspired Bad Romance, A Revision Guide, and access to my Inspiration Portal: a world of resources and downloads to help you make word magic.
June 6, 2019
LITTLE UNIVERSES Cover Reveal & Excerpt
It’s finally here – the cover reveal for my new novel, LITTLE UNIVERSES!!!! It dropped on Hypable today and I am so, so, SO delighted to finally be able to share this beauty with you.
I bet you want to see it, huh?
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Are you suuuuuuure?
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Okay, fine, I’ll bite. Here it is!!!
May 21, 2019
3 Things: Reading Like A Writer
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This 3 Things is all about teaching yourself to write through the books you read so you can Write Better Now.
I’ve got a short 3 Things video for you AND a downloadable worksheet that you can use to apply the principles of reading like a writer.
To read like a writer, you need to do three things, which I get into in the materials:
Read Widely
Read Mindfully
Write an Annotated Bibliography
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Check out the video on my Instagram IGTV channel OR on YouTube.
And don’t forget to download your worksheet: click below!
Creating From Stillness
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“Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.”
– Khalil Gibran, The Prophet
This post first appeared on the Vermont College of Fine Arts blog, where I write a monthly mindfulness column. You can find that here.
The sound and fury of our modern world can sometimes make writing impossible. As if our phones and the constant streaming music and just one more video to watch on YouTube isn’t distracting enough, our very minds seem to be running on a 24-7 talk radio cycle. Our brains are shouting our To-Do lists and spinning the same tired yarns we tell ourselves—broken record stories about everything we fear, all our worries, each slight from so-and-so, and the refrain not enough time, not enough time.
Martha Beck, coach and writer, says:
When you hear or read a thought that is written from the stillness, it calls forth the stillness in you. It opens a portal between the questing, desperate ego and the soul that is always present; always there to comfort, instruct, inform, and guide us home.
It’s this ego that’s always trying to make itself known that’s so darn loud. Shrill, even. It hates being ignored. Thing is, in order to create, we have to banish our egos from the writing space. Why? Because the vein of gold we all access when we’re in flow is the same vein all artists in the world for all time have drawn from. And to get there, we have to go deep within ourselves, beyond the mundane of our daily worries and fears, as far as possible from the Greek Chorus telling us we’re terrible writers.
If you’re struggling to get words on the page, it’s time to cut out the noise and tune into the inner stillness inside you. Trust me, it’s there—it’s just that you can’t hear that beautiful quiet over the roar of your internal and external stimuli.
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Ursula K. LeGuin said: To hear, one must be silent.
To hear what? Your characters, for starters. A muse, if you have one. The sound of the wind rustling through the trees in your very own Middle Earth. The cries of dragons or laughter of your protagonist, or the specific words for that spell your villain is casting. More than anything, getting quiet will give your own inner knowing a chance to whisper its secrets to you about what the next best step for your story is.
Eckhart Tolle once said, True artists, whether they know it or not, create from a place of no-mind, of inner stillness.
Are you a true artist? Do you want to be?
Then it’s time to do the hard work of getting quiet. But how do we do this in such a loud world?
We sit. We listen. We breathe.
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Simple, but not easy. When you meditate, no matter how noisy your internal sound loop is, you are building the muscles that will help you swim your way to the calm, still lake inside you. Sometimes you’ll only get to visit the lake for a second. Other times, for minutes on end. The goal of meditation practice for you, Writer, is to just show up. Just like writing, the magic can’t happen if you don’t sit down and do the work. Even five minutes can open the door into that castle of quiet a crack.
Below is a guided meditation I created for writers to find your own inner stillness by meditation on—plot twist!—sound. When we tune into the world around us, when we direct our attention away from the constant inner chatter, we open a doorway into our own inner stillness.
Get The Meditation on Insight Timer Here
All this meditation entails is sitting down in a comfortable position, closing your eyes, breathing naturally through your nose, and becoming aware of the sounds around you. All sounds are welcome—even your neighbor’s lawn mower. What we’re doing here is getting curious, a key ingredient of creation. You can follow a single sound until it disappears, or let the wash of wind and voices and dogs barking and cars driving by wash over you. Bonus points for going out into nature and doing this in the wild.
When you open your eyes, take this advice from Mary Oliver to heart before you put pen to paper:
Just pay attention, then patch a few words together and don’t try to make them elaborate, this isn’t a contest but the doorway into thanks, and a silence in which another voice may speak.
Breathe. Write. Repeat.
Subscribe to my newsletter for writers and readers, The Lotus & Pen, to get a download of the short story that inspired Bad Romance, A Revision Guide, and access to my Inspiration Portal: a world of resources and downloads to help you make word magic.
April 17, 2019
3 Things: Secret Sauce Of Getting Published
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It’s time for another 3 Things! This episode I dig into what the secret sauce of getting (and staying) published is so that you can Write Better Now.
You can check out the video on my Instagram IGTV Channel, or on YouTube.
Here’s a little preview:
Write The Book You Want To Read
Banish The Greek Chorus
Never Doubt You Deserve A Place At The Table
